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Oct 16, 2010

Valerie rated it:

This book had some good advice. The begginning is very slow. So much so that I found myself falling asleep but its mostly just the first part of the book.

Part One of the book mostly argues why civility is important and that being polite isn't hypocritical.

Part Two gives all the dos and don'ts to do with house guests, strangers, coworkers, etc. This is where the 25 rules of conduct are.
Part Three just sums up everything.

Like I mentioned before it has g More...

1 comment like (2 people liked it)

Feb 06, 2009

Polly rated it:

Forni defines civility as the art of cultivating respectful relationships with the purpose of being good community members and good neighbors. This is a charming and kindhearted book about why life is better when we are thoughtful and respectful with each other. Forni treats kindness and consideration in relationships as art forms that can be learned, taught, and honed; he digs through the ritual of etiquette to find their philosophic foundations. His "25 Rules" include advice like: pa More...

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Jan 14, 2010

Book rated it:

P.M. Forni is writing about modern manners. He has come up with a list of ideas on how to be proper. Paying attention, listening, and being agreeable are all things which make most people much easier to get along with. Manners make society easier to negotiate.

The tips about manners include personal hygiene, physical appearance, and personal space all of which affect how we interact with others. We are reminded that when we are at our best is when people are most civil to More...

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Jul 26, 2009

Debbie (Readerbuzz) rated it:

Forni is European and it shows. He comes from a culture where respect for people is assumed. America disappoints him now and then. He wants to help America.
I need to practice these twenty-five things. If I practiced just these twenty-five things, I would be a much better person.
So what are they? Let me list them to remind myself:
1. Pay attention
2. Acknowledge others
3. Think the best
4. Listen
5. Be inclusive
6. Speak kindly
7. Don’t speak ill
More...

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Apr 17, 2011

Whitney rated it:

A thought-provoking, for-the-most-part practical little book that makes the case for everyday thoughtfulness. And lest anyone think that's just a nice way of saying 'this book is about how to be a doormat,' I need to explain. Forni spends a lot of time on important potentially awkward moments we've all faced now and again, like how to say no to someone we care about and stick with it, how to let someone know when they have asked too personal a question, etc. What it comes down to is that kindnes More...

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Jan 12, 2009

Heidi rated it:

My Broker gave this book to all of her million dollar club members and asked us to read it. I don't usually like "self-help" type of books, but I really liked this one. It made me think about my relationships and how people view my actions/conduct. Civility is a dying value in our society. Losing civility can lead to all kinds of social problems/issues. This is really a book that everyone should read. I highly recommend it.

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Sep 28, 2010

Barb rated it:

This was an interesting read about our culture and where we stand on civility. Even though it may seem as if civility is a thing of the past, the author believes that we are becoming more openminded about accepting those who are different from ourselves as well as improving on respecting the environment, which can be viewed as forms of civility. We just have to get back to good old-fashioned caring for one another. I found a wonderful Chinese proverb in this book that I want to carry with me More...

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Feb 22, 2011

Jessica rated it:

Very readable, thought-provoking book about courtesy, politeness, civility, whatever you want to call it.

What I liked: It tried to find a balance between paying attention to/respecting the needs of yourself and paying attention to/respecting the needs of others. Being civil doesn't just mean accommodating the requests of others, it also means recognizing your own boundaries and expressing your needs (politely). Basically, be mindful of yourself and the world around you, whether in t More...

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Dec 10, 2011

Amanda rated it:

Lots of wonderful common sense information, that isn't really common for today's populace. In observing the lack of civility in America today, Forni outlines how to be a civil member of society. Perhaps this brief volume should be added to required reading lists so that future generations aren't the boars that their parents have become.

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Jan 23, 2009

Kristen rated it:

This book is a fresh reminder of what my mother always told me growing up: Treat people like we would like to be treated. Someone previously commented on how this book is things our mother taught growing up, but somehow between being a child and growing into an adult, society has lost its way. When is it ever appropriate to treat people unkindly? Never, but somehow people think it's okay to cut people off in traffic and then flip them off because they were inconvenienced by having to wait for More...

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Dec 13, 2011

Mary Z : ) rated it:

This is not my usual book, since I'm always on the Fiction side of the library. I did enjoy it, though. As someone who has been disturbed by the increasing rudeness of our society, I was surprised when the author suggested that in some ways we're LESS rude than we were in the past. There's a new way of looking at things I hadn't considered, so on that basis alone it was worth my time.
I did like the rules, and the examples of uncivil vs. civil responses to the same situation. There are some More...

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Sep 14, 2009

Kimi rated it:

my sister put me onto this book. p.m forni is an italian professor living in the states, and is part of a 'civility project'. i don't know a lot about the project, but i really enjoyed the book (it was great to read on a full airplane with unbelievably uncivil fellow passengers; stopped me from being uncivil in response). however, you get to the end thinking, yes, this would be a wonderful world if everyone were more civil, but what do you do in the meantime? apparently the second book deals wit More...

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May 16, 2011

Joanne rated it:

This is not a self help book - although it is likely to help a lot of people. It is not a book aimed at teaching people how to manipulate others in order to get what they want either. This is a book that reiterates how we ought to behave as members of a group. Unfortunately late modern society makes it very easy to forget that we are part of a group because we are so committed to our individuality (amazing how "individuality" is expressed through trends...)and technology allows great More...

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Nov 08, 2010

Ewurama rated it:

Another in my intermittent series of reads inspired by my desire to be a better lover of people. The concept is nice because it applies both to those close to us and those we don’t know at all, and encourages us to really honor and respect our fellow human beings. While I liked the concept and appreciated the list of rules, I felt the book could have been much stronger, as the author’s observations at times did not add much (or were somewhat weird but not in an insightful way). Still, a list to More...

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Oct 25, 2011

Karen rated it:

Much of what is in this book has been said before, either by Mom or Miss Manners. What differs is the author's perspective. What matters is that even though we have heard it before, we forget and need reminding. And it's timely as it helps to explain current events like the March on Wall Street and Bank Transfer Day.

If you're interested, check out my blog at http://www.jettexcellence.com/blog/value... where I talk about how this all relates to current trends and small business strat More...

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Sep 08, 2011

Marjorie rated it:

This was a lovely little book about why we should choose civility in our everyday lives and what that looks like. It was a good reminder of why we are polite with each other ("Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength." Eric Hoffer) and helped me realize where I might improve in my behavior towards others. Highly recommended.

For the library types out there: I learned about this in Public Libraries, July/August 2011: "Choose Civility: Public Libraries Take

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Jun 17, 2008

Amanda rated it:

The difficulty with a book like Choosing Civility is that only polite people will look at it and it preaches to the choir. It's a useful primer on manners, but there's nothing in here your mother didn't try to teach you.

I've actually attended a talk by Professor Forni and he is, as you would expect, very well mannered and gently polite. His talk was fascinating and his explanations for the decrease of civility were well researched and thought provoking

This was at a bookst More...

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Jul 11, 2010

Juliette rated it:

Forni doesn't teach us anything new here. Don't say ill will about others. Be mindful of the noise you make. Wear clean clothing. Yet these 25 rules are constantly overlooked by us all in daily life and this book serves as the gentle reminder that we need in order to make this world a better place.
One of my new years resolutions was to make an even more considerable effort of being kind to others. This book has become one of my bibles. I will carry it until it with me until it's ragged and More...

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Jul 11, 2011

Mohan rated it:

This book strikes a balance between succinctness and adequate topic development. It explores the fundamentals underlying common precepts of civil behaviour and enunciates rules significant to greater cordiality in everyday life. Thus, it is a book worthwhile to young readers as well as those further on, as a reminder of values and their expression in routine interactions.

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Apr 05, 2011

Mw rated it:

I liked the author's ideas. I thought the first section could have been condensed and tightened.
The 25 rules were great, though some were developed/explained better than others.
Over all, I'd say almost all of us need to read this book and put into practice the rules in order to
understand each other, appreciate the strengths others have, and enjoy better relationships.

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Feb 17, 2011

Jeslyn rated it:

Consoled me on some pages, indicted me on others - but in a good way; some terrific redirects. Also punctuated with some fantastic quotes throughout.

I gave this book to numerous friends and family as a gift since I thought it was such an excellent read; interestingly, the gift seemed to offend some...before reading. Hopefully not after.

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Aug 15, 2009

Meghan rated it:

This is for a college class and it was really good. I have experience reading books like this so it wasn't that hard for me. It was a real eye opener. It's all about being civil but as I read it, I thought about situations where I could have applied the rule and I feel like a new person and can actually see the world. This book was for my University 1000 class that doesn't start for another week. XD

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Jan 21, 2009

Jon Edward rated it:

The problem with a book like this is that 1) uncivilized people won't read it anyway and 2) civilized people will only fret about the one or two things they'd never considered. It's a good encapsulation of various ways one might act civilly. Have lent this book out already, with success.

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Jan 03, 2011

Julianne rated it:

Wish it had a rip out list in the front or back as a "cheat sheet" of the 25 rules. So, here they are:

1. Pay Attention
2. Acknowledge Others
3. Think the Best
4. Listen
5. Be Inclusive
6. Speak Kindly
7. Don't Speak Ill
8. Accept and Give Praise
9. Respect Even a Subtle "No"
10.Respect Others' Opinions
11.Mind Your Body
12.Be Agreeable
13.Keep it Down
14.Respect Other People's Time
15.Respect Ot More...

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Nov 15, 2009

Micah rated it:

Unless something overwhelmingly brilliant finds its way onto (and then off of) my bookshelf in the next month or so, Forni’s book will go down as my favorite for 2009. I just finished reading it for the second time, and I’d recommend the book to anyone who is willing to read.

Several reviews express disappointment that the book will likely be read only by those who sing in its choir. Although that notion resonates with me, I find that the true value of the book is in its affirming qua More...

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Mar 10, 2009

Tricia rated it:

wow. what if the whole world read this book!?!? the 25 rules of considerate conduct!? thought-provoking at minimum bordering to life-altering if read at a pivotal life moment. for me, just depressing because the whole world won't read this book. sad me.

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Jun 30, 2010

Eleacia marked it as to-read

I live in Hot Springs, Ar, and I was wondering if anyone have an extra copy of this book. Its sounds very interesting and im trying to do something with my life over the summer. So please if your done reading it or have an extra copy could I please get it.

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Oct 27, 2009

Glad rated it:

Forni provides a framework for use in social, political, educational and community settings. He inspires the reader to improve personal civility and to detect it in others while understanding that, at times, we may fail. Civility is a worthy goal.

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Jun 27, 2010

Jeanna rated it:

This was an excellent read, and one I think that anyone interested in behaving better should consider looking at. Each chapter was short and covered very basic rules like "Listen to others," but they gave me different ways of looking at these rules. Also, the book made me think a little more about these things. And that really was the whole basis for the book, I think: the rule to "Pay attention." When we pay attention to what we're doing and to other people, we are much bett More...

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Nov 09, 2009

Amy rated it:

Our office is currently reading and presenting chapters (lessons) at meetings. I like the book. I think everyone on the planet should not only read it but try to improve themselves with some of the common sense courtesies it outlines. The problem here is people think too much of themselves to see their flaws clearly in some instances. We could all learn to be more polite. One obeservation I make: if you don't like the younger generation because they are "uncivil" maybe it is beca More...

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