Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. Wit...
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Jul 17, 2007
Reader
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I picked up an audio book at the library the other day; primarily for my wife. On my way to work on Monday, I realized I didn't have anything cued up in my shuffle, so I grabbed Odd Girl Out on my way to the car. As the father of a new baby girl, I thought it might me interesting to find out about female "alternative aggression". Interesting is not the word. I am down right frightened. It isn't popular to say this, but I had a relatively idyllic childhood. I wasn't one of the Popular k
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Mar 07, 2009
Rachel
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Every mother with a pre-teen or teen girl needs to read this book.
This book was disturbing for me, both as a parent and as a former girl. I clearly recognized myself as a victim of bullying throughout the book, but it also made me realize that, as a kid, I was also sometimes a perpetrator, which I had never thought about before.
Unfortunately it does a much better job of outlining the problem of girl bullying than it does at presenting solutions. That said, it is helping More...
This book was disturbing for me, both as a parent and as a former girl. I clearly recognized myself as a victim of bullying throughout the book, but it also made me realize that, as a kid, I was also sometimes a perpetrator, which I had never thought about before.
Unfortunately it does a much better job of outlining the problem of girl bullying than it does at presenting solutions. That said, it is helping More...
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Jan 14, 2009
Jane
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I honestly think everyone should read this book – especially parents of girls. It’s about the ways in which girls deal with anger and aggression, as opposed to the ways in which boys do. The premise is that boys tend to be more direct in their aggression - physical confrontation - while in contrast, girls use an indirect approach known as relational aggression. Wikipedia's definition of relational aggression is a form of aggression where the group is used as a weapon to assault others and others
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Feb 13, 2009
Ellyn
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This book was recommended to me by my supervisor at my field placement at the Shaker Heights schools. It suggests that girls in our society -- particularly white, middle class girls -- have been socialized to believe that they must be nice and sweet at all times, and consequently, a culture of hidden, silent aggression has developed, often called relational aggression. The author interviewed hundreds of girls and adult women, and their stories are told throughout the book. It was painful to r
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Dec 17, 2009
Kimberly
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This book was so hard to get through but extremely important to read. It draws from interviews with girls who were bullied by other girls and mixes the interviews with factual writing. Some of these girls were scarred for life by quiet abuses inflicted by their peers as early as elementary school and as late as college. Girl bullying (aka relational aggression) is a huge problem in schools. We tend to dismiss it as "girls being girls" and teachers look the other way because it is not p
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Jan 09, 2008
I grew up reading stories about (and trying very unsuccessfully to emulate) girls sent to live in attics by evil boarding school head mistresses, but who nonetheless made the very best of their circumstances and were steadfastly good and angelic--never bearing a grudge that they lived in a cold attic with rats as their only friends, wore rags, ate gruel, and performed hard labor. So, this study about girlhood aggression was a refreshing change; disturbing because the aggression is more often tha
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Dec 30, 2011
Veronica
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The newly revised and updated edition of Odd Girl Out is a must have for every person who is parenting or educating a girl.
This was the first book I grabbed once my fall classes were over. Why? I think it's because I have a daughter. She's eight and in the 3rd grade and we've already had two incidents involving bullying. The first was in preschool and the second was last year. Both incidents were handled by teachers are administrators in a manner that Simmons suggests in Chapter 12: More...
This was the first book I grabbed once my fall classes were over. Why? I think it's because I have a daughter. She's eight and in the 3rd grade and we've already had two incidents involving bullying. The first was in preschool and the second was last year. Both incidents were handled by teachers are administrators in a manner that Simmons suggests in Chapter 12: More...
Aug 17, 2011
Julia
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In Rachel Simmons' book, Odd Girl Out, she describes some of the stories that she heard while going from school to school to talk about girls who were "bullied." The entire thing is impossibly melodramatic, including Simmons' account of her own "bullying"--one day, one girl told the other kids not to play with her. Despite the fact that this is what to normal people would be a minor incident and the fact that it happened in the third grade, this is something that apparently h
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Jun 17, 2011
A month or so ago I heard a news story about a girl bullying episode that ended in tragedy, both for the victim who committed suicide out of despair, and the perpetrators, who were tried in court for their aggression. This haunting story was what made me request several books from interlibrary loan on the subject, and this one was the kind I was most interested in reading -- not a self-help or counseling so much, but written investigatively from an extended series of interviews with girls of v
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Apr 07, 2011
Anastasia
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I just got done reading "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression In Girls" by Rachel Simmons. Its really interesting and counts as training for work. Score!
Its about bullying among girls. The writer interviewed tons of girls, Young and old about their bullying experiences. She spoke to woman who are adults but were bullied and still have problems with it. She points out the difference between girls bullying and boys bullying. Boys are obviously more physical. More...
Its about bullying among girls. The writer interviewed tons of girls, Young and old about their bullying experiences. She spoke to woman who are adults but were bullied and still have problems with it. She points out the difference between girls bullying and boys bullying. Boys are obviously more physical. More...
Nov 14, 2010
Ciara
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this book was pretty awesome! my expectations weren't that high, so i walked away more impressed than i expected to be. it explores the uniquely girl ways that girls are aggressive to one another, contrasting against previous research on aggression & bullying that has been male-dominated & male-focused. at no point does the book devolve into making biological essentialist arguments about female brain chemistry or anything like that. it's all about the way that girls are socialized to be feminine
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Mar 28, 2010
Editt
rated it:
Read it.
I don't have a girl but am teaching 9 - 11 year olds in primary so I thought I should. The material was worth reading even without a reason. The author provides a real picture of what girls face and endure under our cultural desire that girls must be made of "sugar and spice and everything nice." I found the book to be cathartic - I've see how I've been subjected to such treatment or have subjected others. The book also helped me to look at my conception of motherhood More...
I don't have a girl but am teaching 9 - 11 year olds in primary so I thought I should. The material was worth reading even without a reason. The author provides a real picture of what girls face and endure under our cultural desire that girls must be made of "sugar and spice and everything nice." I found the book to be cathartic - I've see how I've been subjected to such treatment or have subjected others. The book also helped me to look at my conception of motherhood More...
Feb 17, 2010
Talleyfamily6
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I borowed this book from the guidance counselor at school because of events in Amanda's class. I think the author did good research and had good insights into why girls bully others, why they allow themselves to be bullied and why sometimes they are both the aggressor and the victim. I did think the book bogged down with lots of examples before the final chapter where she tried to offer some ideas on how teachers and parents could help. I thought the book showed her extensive research. I thoug
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Jul 21, 2009
Tara
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I like this book, but under conditions. I recently graduated from an all-girls high school and we were asked to read this book one summer. That was the summer going into my junior year. The book is entirely accurate. During my teenage years, I have encountered all the forms of "violence" that the book details. However, since I was living the experience at the time I read the book, Rachel Simmons did not teach me anything that I did not already know, nor give me advice I had not already
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Aug 08, 2011
I read this book for a professional development class, and I wasn't sure how it was going to go. I often get bored by books about studies, but this was a really interesting read. Simmons finds a balance between research and narrative, providing numerous glimpses into female aggression and the ways in which in manifests in adolescent girls. It was fascinating, and horrifying, to see the ways in which female friendships so often resemble abusive romantic relationships, where a girl will continu
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Mar 17, 2011
Lori L
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Rachel Simmons says that, "There is a hidden culture of girls' aggression in which bullying is epidemic, distinctive, and destructive." Adolescent female culture consists of manipulation, treachery, and strained niceties, which she calls “alternative aggressions.” To research and interview girls about bullying in Odd Girl Out, Simmons spent over three years in a total of 10 different schools. The schools were in two urban areas and a small town. She interviewed more than 300 girls and
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May 31, 2010
Kelly
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I think this will be an excellent book for book clubs. It's about the ways that girls bully each other--with words and glares instead of fists--and how that's because we're trained that it's not nice to be angry or aggressive and so our negative feelings have to go somewhere.
I think pretty much everyone who was ever a girl in elementary, middle or high school knows exactly what it's like to get picked on, whether it was once or every day for a year. I was bullied all through middle More...
I think pretty much everyone who was ever a girl in elementary, middle or high school knows exactly what it's like to get picked on, whether it was once or every day for a year. I was bullied all through middle More...
Dec 31, 2011
Kylene
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Definitely an interesting book. I haven't had to deal with this too much with my two girls but I do know that this book is right on. My one daughter does things to make herself different and is a protector of kids that are bullied. This does help me accept that she is fine not being in "the group". She sees they are fake already and does not want to be part of them. She is definitely more confident than I was at 14. My other daughter probably dealt with this more but karate helped lift
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May 17, 2009
Katherine
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I stumbled across this book when I was about 16 when someone had lost it and I, by lucky chance, found it. At the time, it was the first book I'd ever read that identified my understanding of my adolescence. From where I am now and my knowledge of feminist philosophy and phenomenology, the book is remarkable only in that it offers so many personal anecdotes. From where I was at age 16, it was the first non-fiction book I ever enjoyed. The down to earth tone made it easy for me to project Sim
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Jun 28, 2011
Megan
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One of the first books written about girl on girl bullying, this was a somewhat groundbreaking look at the way that girls treat eachother. The basic premise is that girls are socially conditioned to be “nice” above all else, so when they lash out it is usually sly, passive aggressive, and deeply personal.
At times it was emotionally painful to read, not only because I was, on occasion, poorly treated by other girls as a child… but also because, despite being awfully low on the social More...
At times it was emotionally painful to read, not only because I was, on occasion, poorly treated by other girls as a child… but also because, despite being awfully low on the social More...
Jun 28, 2011
Cyndy
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Like many others, I could relate to some of the stories in this book. I had two best friends from 4th grade to 8th grade. We got in fights and argued once in awhile but it was always just between us and we would make up usually within the day. But in 6th grade, another girl entered the picture. She became friends with us and throughout the year would get "mad" at one of us and turn the all the girls in the class against that one person. After about a week, she would "forgive"
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Dec 10, 2010
Jenh
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I'm not going to finish this book. This is super negative and depressing. I think it would be helpful to someone who was never an adolescent female. Having been through this stage, I really don't want to go through it again! I am well aware of how mean girls can be. This book is basically a collection of stories of "mean girl" scenerios". I kind of think in a way that if you expect a teenager to be awful he/she will be, and if you expect the best you will get the best. Maybe I
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Jun 05, 2011
Kelseagh
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Phew! One hundred and fifty pages since last week and I am finished! Overall, I would say that I enjoyed reading this book. Simmons did a good job of steering clear of writing the stereotypically monotonous research book while still avoiding making her research seem unrealistic. Her use of personal testimony was hugely effective in conveying the message behind her research. While sometimes repetitive in her analysis of the female aggression, I recognize that the topic on which Simmons conducted
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Mar 28, 2011
Hannah
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This book really got me excited about working with the girls here in my village. Simmons makes some really interesting points about girl-bullying and how it can often be so much more damaging than boy-bullying (which is more physical). She ties a lot of girl bully-behavior back to the often contradictory social expectations placed upon modern American girls, and how female social norms such as passivity, sweetness, and nonviolence make girls find other ways to bully each other that fall under
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Oct 19, 2010
Anne Hawn
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This book was excellent. Rachel Simmons has done an astounding job of looking at the cliques of girls and the devastating effect they have on girls…those in the clique and those who are rejected. With the rise of the phenomena of girls committing suicide because of harassment over the Internet and the number of adults who are participating, this study is extremely important. We hear so much of boys bullying, but little thought has been given to the girls who bully and why.
Rachel Si More...
Rachel Si More...
Jul 07, 2011
Nicole
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In high school I attended an All Girls Catholic School. Issues with girls were multiplied by 100 being in that environment and for the most part, I graduated unharmed. ha ha My mom bought this book for me one year when a huge fight of gossip and rumors came out about a girl at my school. We weren't friends and we barely knew one another but my mom was concerned that I would let the behaviors of girls around me to impact my own personality and ways of dealing with my friends. This book is great t
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Jan 13, 2011
Liras
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It is not surprising to me that we inculcate the idea of niceness at all costs in young women--I am quite aware of this, living in America. I was pleasantly surprised at how well Ms. Simmons wove together all the pieces that go into pushing girls to sublimate their so-called negative or aggressive feelings.
This book did an excellent job of showing the effects of such culturally sanctioned behavior, how it plagues women for years to come and how if we do not speak of it, the cycle will More...
This book did an excellent job of showing the effects of such culturally sanctioned behavior, how it plagues women for years to come and how if we do not speak of it, the cycle will More...
Feb 25, 2010
Michelle
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This book sheds light on a topic I think few people think about or want to discuss. The 'bullying' that girls are a part of is much more complex, sinister, and underhanded than boys experience, especially when you consider that much of this behavior is at the hands of the girl's own friends. It made me think about incidents in my own life as an adolescent, and take a closer look at incidents in my daughter's life. Some people have complained that Simmons doesn't offer enough strategies for fi
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Mar 18, 2010
Natasha
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A decently informative book, although it had too many stories and not enough help. The help was squeezed into one chapter. The stories do have their use by allowing girls to recognize bullying in all its forms, but she didn't need so many. Also, I felt she generalized too much. And she mentioned how certain minority groups use violence to sort out problems. And she mentions how this is mainly a middle class white person problem. So obviously it is not universal. Maybe it would have been better t
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Sep 25, 2009
Allison
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Everyone needs to read this book. Whether you are a girl, have girls, or know girls, I don't even care, just read it.
At it's most basic, this book is about how Neo-Victorian sterotypes create a culture of agression in girls, from the moment they begin school.
While parents and educators allow "boys to be boys," and solve their problems through physical agression, this option is not available to girls. They are taught, above all, to be NICE. Even if you have More...
At it's most basic, this book is about how Neo-Victorian sterotypes create a culture of agression in girls, from the moment they begin school.
While parents and educators allow "boys to be boys," and solve their problems through physical agression, this option is not available to girls. They are taught, above all, to be NICE. Even if you have More...
