Sign in with Facebook
Loading...
114th out of 411 books
—
428 voters
Parenting From the Inside Out
How many parents have found themselves thinking: I can't believe I just said to my child the very thing my parents used to say to me! Am I just destined to repeat the mistakes of my parents? In Parenting from the Inside Out, child psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell, M.Ed., explore the extent to which our childhood experiences actu...more
Paperback, 272 pages
Published
April 26th 2004
by Tarcher
(first published January 1st 2003)
Friend Reviews
To see what your friends thought of this book,
please sign up.
Community Reviews
(showing
1-30
of
1,737)
My friend, Wendi, recommended this book and I'm glad that I read it. I had thought that parenting was all about unrecoverable mistakes that would be permanent dings against you and your child, however, Siegel talks a lot about recovery - immediate actions that can be taken to mitigate words said in anger, etc. as well as strategies for recovering years later. This is a very encouraging read for parents like me who don't have it always together in the moment.
Another excellent book. Read it starting with chapter 7, then going to the beginning. Read it when you find yourself dealing with your child in a very unideal way, knowing it at the time, and still not being able to do otherwise. This book will explain to you why. And explain what is going on in your brain (fight or flight) that makes you unable to be the warm creative loving or patient at that moment...and what to do about it.
Wisdom: when your brain gets stressed in certain ways it gets "vaporl...more
Wisdom: when your brain gets stressed in certain ways it gets "vaporl...more
How your parents treated you, and how you internalized that, affects how you treat your kids. Hmm, not really a surprising statement there, is it? A lot of psychological mumbo-jumbo thrown about, complete with cross-sections of the brain. At one point in my life (fresh out of college) I would probably have found it fascinating and read each word, but now I just felt thickheaded so I skimmed and tried to pick out the key concepts. I feel like I didn't really need all that theory, I just needed to...more
Jan 07, 2013
Sueij
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommended to Sueij by:
Melanie Sobocinski
This book is simply outstanding. If, as a parent, you ever react to your children based out of your history instead of your current intentions, this book offers practical information and advice for how to shift the dynamics and parent the way you WANT to parent.
Two of the particulars that I found most fascinating were that children (and you can think of your children with you and your partner, or you with each of your parents) form separate attachments with each major caregiver, and so can easil...more
Two of the particulars that I found most fascinating were that children (and you can think of your children with you and your partner, or you with each of your parents) form separate attachments with each major caregiver, and so can easil...more
I consider myself very lucky to have been raised in a way that made me feel heard, supported, and valued -- an upbringing that I believe led me to be conscious and conscientious of other people's desires and emotions as an adult. I'm about to become a parent myself, and as a former psych major, I was interested to learn more about the practical side of attachment theory, and how parents who had more difficult childhoods could develop the skills to have secure relationships with their own kids.
Fo...more
Fo...more
I really liked the philosophies in this book even though it was quite academic and took about 4 months for my post-twins-mommy-brain to really get through its depth. I wanted to read a book about parent-child attachment and this was recommended to me. In short summary, this book was about the way we tell our life stories, and how that influences others. The simple take-away was that the way we process our own life stories (the good, bad and everything in between) really impacts the way we intera...more
I think Siegel took comments from here and decided to write a tip or how-to book instead: the Whole Brained Child. I guess as an academic, it was easy to read and inspiring simply because I believe in validating assertions with neuroscience or current research data. But, the title might have mislead many many readers about the content. I feel the process of reading though, is part of what makes this book important to me and future parents I work with. I think it helps start the process of healin...more
Jul 07, 2009
Khaya
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Parents who have difficulty applying parenting tips; therapists working with parents
Shelves:
professionallit
I didn't enjoy this book the entire time I was reading it, but when I found myself summarizing the parts I found relevant and photocopying the exercises, I knew I needed to give it at least four stars.
Many of my clients come in with difficulties around childraising, and it's always a struggle for me between giving them childraising "tips" versus helping them uncover the deeper issues that are making it difficult for them to parent effectively. Parents who come in often request these tips and fee...more
Many of my clients come in with difficulties around childraising, and it's always a struggle for me between giving them childraising "tips" versus helping them uncover the deeper issues that are making it difficult for them to parent effectively. Parents who come in often request these tips and fee...more
This book has too much plain scientific style that makes the book boring because it lacks more examples or anecdotes to make it more enjoyable. This is not the kind of book with parenting tips and tricks. Instead it's full of lectures about how the brain works and how our lives are affected by memories, experiences, fears, shames, or security feelings.
The main idea of the book is "by making sense of our own childhoods, we have the opportunity to bring mindfulness to our experiences and choice to...more
The main idea of the book is "by making sense of our own childhoods, we have the opportunity to bring mindfulness to our experiences and choice to...more
For Parent Circle bookclub. I'm far from being a fan of baby/parenting books. Didn't read anything while I was pregnant, too much over obsession about potential problems/fears for this rational Brit to take. But give me esteemed pediatric doctors with a scientific approach rather than touchy feeling 'Hey Moms!' rubbish and I can give it a go. The premise of this is you have baggage from your own childhood, some of which doesn't rear its ugly head until you yourself become a parent. So stop self...more
This is very good. Daniel Siegel is a psychiatrist that specializes in trauma, child development and social neuroscience. After publishing this book his readers and workshop attenders asked him to teach them meditation. He didn't know what they were talking about. He had written about "mindfulness"; they read it as "meditation".
So, he began to explore the research on meditation and the brain and discovered amazing similarities with his research on healthly attachments and the brain.
In this book...more
So, he began to explore the research on meditation and the brain and discovered amazing similarities with his research on healthly attachments and the brain.
In this book...more
The main message of this book is the importance of listening to our children, reflecting their story back to them, and helping them to make sense of it. We can't do this when we are distracted by unresolved issues from our past. There's nothing like having a baby or child completely dependent on you 24/7 to unearth issues from one's own childhood.
Particularly poignant for me was the example of a shy girl who managed a brave feat on the playground. A new teacher saw her, was excited for her, and...more
Particularly poignant for me was the example of a shy girl who managed a brave feat on the playground. A new teacher saw her, was excited for her, and...more
Though Parenting from the Inside Out is categorized as Parenting, it is only kind of written for parents. The author couldn't seem to decide who his audience was. Much of the book is written in such scientific language that it would only be readable for other psychological professionals, and even then, it might be hard to decode. All of the mamas I've spoken to about this book said they couldn't get through it.
I finally gave myself permission to skim to try to find anything that might be helpfu
...more
There is certainly food for thought in this book, but it leaned too much on parent-guilt and how we're to blame for our children's tantrums without enough useful advice on how to improve the family dynamic. Please, as parents, don't we already feel enough pressure and guilt! Not enough useful guidance in this one.
On the other hand, some sections, were, in fact, thought-provoking (why I gave it 2 stars instead of 1). If you're willing to set-aside the guilt and take a hard look inside, you may fi...more
On the other hand, some sections, were, in fact, thought-provoking (why I gave it 2 stars instead of 1). If you're willing to set-aside the guilt and take a hard look inside, you may fi...more
I couldnt get past the first few chapters. It was repetitive, tedious, obvious; a suspicious thought even crossed my mind that the author merely trying to fill the pages somehow to make it look a decent size.
Parenting books I would recommend include:
1. Raising an emotionally intelligent child, J. gottman ; I'm not a fan of Gottman but he partnered up with Daniel Goleman on this one and it hit home for me. I loved the self assessment quizzes.
2. Bright from the start, Jill Stamm, a reassuring, pra...more
Parenting books I would recommend include:
1. Raising an emotionally intelligent child, J. gottman ; I'm not a fan of Gottman but he partnered up with Daniel Goleman on this one and it hit home for me. I loved the self assessment quizzes.
2. Bright from the start, Jill Stamm, a reassuring, pra...more
So I finally gave up reading this book. I made it about half way through and just couldn't justify the time I'd have to put in to complete it. The book is a mixture of information about how our own early histories affect our parenting styles and brief snippets of research literature. Overall I felt this book was pretty disappointing. I'd recommend reading The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years instead.
On the one hand I do believ...more
On the one hand I do believ...more
Una delle maggiori fregature del diventare genitore è che prima della nascita del pupo si giura a sé stessi che non ci si comporterà certo come i nostri genitori hanno fatto con noi... salvo poi accorgersi che ricadiamo esattamente negli stessi errori. La cosa non è poi così strana, se uno ci pensa su un attimo: in fin dei conti conosciamo fin troppo bene quel modo di comportarci. In questo libro gli autori mostrano come è possibile accorgerci dei nostri comportamenti e applicare delle strategie...more
you'll not find parenting tips, per se, in this book, but it is provocative. examines the fundamental basis of parent-child relationships which isn't about tips, skills, or strategies. siegel prompts the reader to consider how healthy and adaptive are his or her responses to life situations, specifically parenting scenarios. i think he's asking parents, readers, to consider "how healthy and whole am i?" the basic assumption, a sound but too often neglected concept, is that my personal sense of w...more
I thought this was a pretty good book. I definitely learned a lot about how the brain develops and how children form attachments and so on and so forth. It was a worthwhile read, but I found some of it a little dense. Worth the read - and I could have chosen not to read those extra bits at the ends of each chapter where they go into the science behind the theory in more depth. My own self-punishment I guess. And it's good they included them as they did add to the book content. I would very much...more
Very well written but can be a bit technical (which I like about it). This is more of a how to look at the thought process behind how you parent than a how to guide. Discusses both the psychological and mental mechanics behind how you parent. If you're looking to do some self analysis and really look at both the thought process and how your brain works in parenting then this is for you. If you're looking for a light read or a how to guide.... keep looking.
I will forever be changed for the better because of this book. It is transforming. Not only did it help me become a better parent, but I am a better person because of the beauty found herein. It came off a little technical and textbooky to me at first, but that scientific stuff laid the foundation for the rest of the book. I would recommend this to anyone, parent or not. And I could only wish that any person dealing with children would follow its guidance.
A very good reference book to have for any parent and person who works in mental health. The first few chapters are a bit rough to get through unless you are a nuerologist because so much is spent talking about our brain's structure and how we attach. It solidified what I already knew which is the importance of attachment, but it also gave me hope about how to help mend people's experiences with early life disorganized or ambivalant attachment issues.
Dan Siegel explains how our own childhood experiences shape how we care for children. I read this while sitting in a treatment center for children with RAD - and I often felt frustrated that the suggestions were so abstract, intellectual, and wordy. A few illustrative cartoons would have better helped me communicate the ideas to the busy staff at the center. A really important message in a less than easy-to-read book.
The content is great.. but I admit its a little beyond my reading level. Too much jargon. I like to think I am a fairly intelligent person. With an IQ exceeding 130 I am certainly not dense. However, I admit defeat! The concept of this book is awesome, the content is excellent, but reading it was so hard cognitively that I had a hard time processing the emotional information that I potentially could have received.
Finally finished! Took me 8 months to read it, but was so worth the read. The reason it took me a long time was all the processing through the valuable information this book presented. Yes, it's a parenting book, since I am not a parent, I initially started reading it with my sister in law Kris and sister Carri for the soul purpose of learning to build healthier relationships with the people in my life.
The last chapter a new door opened up for me, a chance to help a 12 year old girl and the las...more
The last chapter a new door opened up for me, a chance to help a 12 year old girl and the las...more
Not being a parent, I never would have read this book had a friend not recommended it as a good book for relationships in general. I found it to be so. It was a good review of some of what I learned from Bruce Perry's lectures on attachment and from Ron Henke, my former father-in-law about attachment. Most memorable were the points that the important thing about current relationships is the story you bring to it of your formative relationships. That making sense of your early relationships, havi...more
Made me think too much about how I was raised (and it wasn't bad, but everyone can find some "issues" somewhere). Ha! However, it was good for me to think about those things, since there is some stuff in there I'd like to try and not repeat while raising my daughter. I had to speed read toward the end, since it was overdue at the library, but I thought it was an interesting read. I do love science, but some of the real brain science talk had me glazed over and it was hard for me to take in (espe...more
This book is about more than parenting. It's about how our past experiences affect our present relationships. It integrates neurobiology in accessible language, and it explains how we can repair disconnections that happen in relationships all too often. I've recommended this to a number of people, and several of them have found it broadly applicable to their lives.
A wonderful neurobiologically-based parenting book, which offers us a humane reason and modus to sort ourselves out in order to parent our kids. 'Physician, Heal thyself' is eloquently and engagingly re-stated, 'Parent, Parent Thyself'. For everyone who is afraid they will make their own parents' mistakes. Daniel Siegel knows his onions.
I like the premise of this book - that we need to resolve any issues from our own childhood/past in order to fully and effectively parent our own children (and to avoid making the same mistakes that our parents made with us). But I had such a hard time tracking with their writing style that I decided it wasn't worth it to read any more.
There are no discussion topics on this book yet.
Be the first to start one »
Daniel J. Siegel (born September 2, 1957) is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute.
Siegel completed his medical degree from Harvard Medical School and his post-graduate medical education at UCLA. His training is in pediatrics and child, adolescent and adult psychiatry. Dr. Siegel is currently clinical professor of psychi...more
More about Daniel J. Siegel...
Siegel completed his medical degree from Harvard Medical School and his post-graduate medical education at UCLA. His training is in pediatrics and child, adolescent and adult psychiatry. Dr. Siegel is currently clinical professor of psychi...more
Share This Book
No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »
Aug 24, 2011 09:40am