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Not Me

by Michael Lavigne (Goodreads Author)

3.71 of 5 stars 3.71 · rating details · 954 ratings · 188 reviews

Not Me is a remarkable debut novel that tells the dramatic and surprising stories of two men–father and son–through sixty years of uncertain memory, distorted history, and assumed identity.

When Heshel Rosenheim, apparently suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, hands his son, Michael, a box of moldy old journals, an amazing adventure begins–one that takes the reader from the...more

Paperback, 320 pages

Published February 13th 2007 by Random House Trade Paperbacks (first published 2005)

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Tatiana and Alexander by Paullina Simons

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer

Amazing WWII fiction (some with romance)

49th out of 59 books — 125 voters

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Community Reviews

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May 29, 2012 Pamela rated it 4 of 5 stars

This novel is about (… no worries, this is not a spoiler!) a Jewish middle age man whose father is dying in Palm Beach; the son goes to be with his father at the end of his life and is given a series of journals that indicate his father may have been a Nazi war criminal who hid his identity following WWII. The novel is the story of the son’s discovery and the conflicts he faces as he finds more information.

It is an interesting premise, and early on in the novel, I was very intrigued. I like the...more

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May 07, 2012 Tyler Barton rated it 3 of 5 stars

Michael Lavigne's engaging first novel reads like a memoir, but it isn't. The main character, Michael, a middle aged, soon-to-be-divorced, comedian, is taking care of his dying father when he learns some secrets that will change everything about his family. His senile father gives him a stack of journals and asks Michael to read them. The book is comprised half of the story of Michael and his process of the discovery of truth, and the story told within the pages of his father's journals. He quic...more

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Sep 03, 2010 Lauren rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book is a curious mix of funny (narrator is a comedian) and serious (his father is a supposed Holocaust survivor). I'm not sure how I'm going to like that juxtaposition, but so far I'm intrigued enough to continue reading...

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Okay, couldn't do it. This ended up being too strange a juxtaposition for me. As revealed quickly in the book (and in the book description, I believe), the narrator grows up in a Jewish household and believes his father was a Jewish Holocaust survivor, only to discover...more

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May 21, 2009 Khaya rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Book clubs; thoughtful readers, even if they're sick of Holocaust lit.

Recommended to Khaya by: Ellen

Shelves: holocaust, jewish, intense-sad-dark-or-bleak, miscellaneousgreatbooks, thought-provoking

I’m the first to say it. The Holocaust genre is way oversaturated. When I read “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas,” I was filled with rage that this was what it had come to – a cheap, gimmicky, and frankly stupid book written simply to capitalize on the marketability of the Holocaust. But every now and then, I do end up reading a Holocaust-related book that has something interesting and different about it and is worth reading even though it’s Holocaust lit. “The Book Thief.” “Those Who Save Us.” An...more I’m the first to say it. The Holocaust genre is way oversaturated. When I read “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas,” I was filled with rage that this was what it had come to – a cheap, gimmicky, and frankly stupid book written simply to capitalize on the marketability of the Holocaust. But every now and then, I do end up reading a Holocaust-related book that has something interesting and different about it and is worth reading even though it’s Holocaust lit. “The Book Thief.” “Those Who Save Us.” And now, this one which has become my recent favorite – “Not Me.”

“Not Me,” aside from enjoyable writing and deft characterization, has a gripping premise. Michael Rosenheim is a stand-up comedian who performs under the name Mickey Rose. Like many comics, his personal life is unhappy and desolate – he’s divorced from his ex-wife whom he still loves, has difficulty staying connected with his child, has lost his mother and sister, and his father is now dying of Alzheimer’s. Michael is also conflicted about his Jewish identity – it makes great comic fodder but not much else, and he resents the excess reminders of his Judaism that fill his father’s apartment – knickknacks and honors from a wide array of Jewish organizations. His father, Heschel Rosenheim, is considered one of the all-time great Jews, a Holocaust survivor who has always been unusually devoted and generous with his time when it came to Jewish causes, and Michael just doesn’t get it.

In one of his increasingly sporadic lucid moments, Michael’s Alzheimer’s-ridden father hands him a box of 24 journals he apparently wrote, although it’s the first Michael is hearing of it and it’s not even clear where the journals materialized from at this time. When Michael reluctantly decides to read them, he is shocked to find a third-person story in his father’s handwriting written about someone with his father’s name who was in fact in the camps, but as an SS officer named Heinrich Mueller. Fearing the oncoming liberation, Heinrich Mueller decided to starve himself for three weeks, tattoo a number onto his arm, and steal the uniform and identity of a dead concentration camp victim – Heshel Rosenheim – so as to avoid getting caught on the wrong side by the liberators. In a sequence of events that is almost comic in its irony, this former SS officer then follows a very Jewish trajectory – DP Camp and then Palestine, where he becomes a kibbutz leader (in a passage which cracked me up, this German decides to whisk those disorganized Jews into shape) and later a freedom fighter for the emerging state of Israel. Although Mueller/Rosenheim secretly still dislikes Jews and plots ways to join the Arab side, he ends up digging himself deeper and deeper and escape seems impossible as he becomes further entrenched in his new identity.

But is this man Michael’s father? It’s hard to tell, because every time Michael tries to confront his father on this, his father slips into an Alzheimer’s-induced fugue. The most Michael’s father will say about the Heinrich Mueller/Heschel Rosenheim of the journals is, “That was not me,” which could mean any number of things – that the journals are fiction, that Michael’s father insists on denying their truth despite his having documented it in this form, or that he is simply suffering Alzheimer’s and no longer remembers. Naturally, Michael becomes increasingly anxious to learn his father’s true identity, and as a reader, I felt swept up in this quest myself. More murky secrets about Michael’s past and family gradually come to consciousness, and the complexity increases. Equally gripping, though, was the story taking place in Michael’s father’s journals of an SS officer posing as a Palmach member, terrified of being recognized by survivors of his camp, constantly wavering about whether to go over to the Arab side even as he leads his groups in the War of Independence.

The ending is powerful, a bit speculative but not disappointingly so. Overall, my reservations re. Holocaust lit. notwithstanding, I found this book moving and very thought-provoking, and I highly recommend it.
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Feb 03, 2009 Sarah Null rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: a-z-title-challenge, world-war-two, owned, book-club-dm

Sometimes beautiful, sometimes harrowing, but always intriguing, this novel asks questions that can't be easily answered: Can sixty years of good deeds atone for a past in which a person committed the worst crimes imaginable? Can people truly change who they are, and if they do, does it matter anymore who they were? Can a person be excused from wrongdoing if they really believed it was right? Is there anything you wouldn't forgive the people you love the most?

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Nov 25, 2012 Lorri rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: personally-own, jewish-history, novels

Not Me is a compelling novel on so many levels. For me it was a metaphor for self identity, sin and change, and the superficial roles that one plays in order to move on with their life and flee from the consequences of their actions.

Heshel learned that fleeing only negates the truth, which followed him everywhere he went. Within the context of the self identity are the themes of love, loss, forgiveness and redemption. The blur between forgiveness and redemption is obvious in the way Lavigne wri...more

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Dec 20, 2009 Kathy rated it 2 of 5 stars

I liked the idea of this novel, but unfortunately I wasn't as impressed with the actual storytelling. Michael Rosenheim is a stand up comedian who is suffering through the breakup of his marriage, the strained relationship with his son, and the deterioration of his father. He comes to Florida to care for his father, who vacillates between lucidity and dementia, and discovers his father's long buried secret about his past. Through detailed journals, his father tells the story of being an SS offic...more

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Dec 27, 2009 Dorie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Interesting story of a Jewish man (Michael) who travels to Florida to care for his dying father. Upon one visit he's given a box of journals written out by his father. He picks up the first and begins to read a story where his father was not Hershel Rosenheim, a Holocaust survivor, but began life as Heinrich Mueller, an SS officer working as an accountant at Majdanek concentration camp who steals a Jewish victim's identity to avoid being charged with war crimes. Michael wonders if this is really...more

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Aug 27, 2009 Elizabeth rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction-adult

Fantastic book! I can't believe this is a first novel.

What if your father wasn't a Jewish Holocaust survivor but rather a member of the German SS who stole a camp prisoner's name and adopted a new identity? How would you feel if you found this out soon after your father checked into a hospice? That's the premise for an amazing novel about evil and redemption as well as family relationships. It's not completely gloom and doom though as the son who narrates this novel is a standup comedian a la Je...more

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Feb 13, 2011 Michele rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really want to give this book a 3.5 or a 3.6, but since I don't want to go as low as a 3, I'll be generous and give it a 4. I'm not even sure yet, why I don't want to give it a full 4. It was a different take on the Holocaust, and an exploration of father-son relationships. As with any book of this genre, it's hard to really enjoy the book, given the gruesomeness of the Holocaust. And while there were parts that were extremely difficult to read, that's not necessarily what makes me not want to...more

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Apr 26, 2013 Lisa Nienhaus rated it 2 of 5 stars

I read a lot of WWII books and the description of this book really caught my attention. The Father in this book is an accountant basically in a concentration camp and fearing the end is near, shaves his head, tattoos himself and pretends he is one of the Jews needing saving from this camp. What an interesting story line.....I just wish the rest of the book could have been as interesting. The book had no likeable characters in it and ended with too many unresolved issues for my liking. All in all...more

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May 01, 2009 Jill rated it 1 of 5 stars

My advice: Don't be witty about the holocaust. It's not a subject to link with humor.

And, this reads like a first novel... the transitions are very rough, making the "journal" not quite fit the narrator's story.

Niether the journal writer or the narrator are likable, particularly, but maybe it's that they are both very flat characters.

I thought the writing improved in the last 50 pages, but the twist didn't ring true with what the reader knew about the narrator.

I finished it because it was as...more

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May 16, 2013 Jane rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a complete fairy tale. While the story was interesting, it was completely unbelievable. Anyone who has lived with or been intimately involved with Holocaust survivors knows that no SS member would ever live with or fight for the Jews. The story was plausible during the part where he starved himself and took on the identity of a Jewish inmate. However, once he got out of the Reich territory, he would have found his way to the SS Nazi network and would have been spirited away to a South Am...more

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Jul 25, 2012 Korri added it

Shelves: fiction, holocaust-and-ww2, jewish, israel-palestine-zion

The ethical and moral dilemma at the heart of the story--was the kind-hearted Holocaust survivor devoted to Jewish and liberal causes actually an SS bureaucrat who stole the identity of one of his victims?--made me pick up this book. The premise was better than the execution, however. Michael, the son of Heshel Rosenheim/Heinrich Mueller, narrates the story. Though Michael's perspective was entertaining at first, it soon paled in comparison to the journals of Heshel which contained the story of...more

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Jun 21, 2009 Jennifer Zimny rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: a-z-book-challenge-shelf

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. “For tempered by the gas and the crematoria, the starvation, the humiliation, pain and filth, they would surly have become angels.”

By far, this was my favorite sentence in all of Michael Lavigne’s poignant and moving story Not Me. It’s rare that I read a sentence in a book over and over again, but this was one of those perfectly constructed simple sentences that struck me as I contemplated the fate of Heshel Rosenheim and his after life.

A couple of years ago I took my very first trip to Europe...more “For tempered by the gas and the crematoria, the starvation, the humiliation, pain and filth, they would surly have become angels.”

By far, this was my favorite sentence in all of Michael Lavigne’s poignant and moving story Not Me. It’s rare that I read a sentence in a book over and over again, but this was one of those perfectly constructed simple sentences that struck me as I contemplated the fate of Heshel Rosenheim and his after life.

A couple of years ago I took my very first trip to Europe and included in that whirlwind two week trip was a very moving trip to Dachau. I remember what struck me more than anything as I walked around what had once been this concentration camp the thing I was struck by with every building and every section of the camp was the sheer size of it. My mom caught a picture of me as we’re walking around on this rainy day standing where roll call was taken everyday, a place where prisoners stood for hours on end in all kinds of weather to have every single name in the camp called. I have this look on my face I didn’t even know I had while walking around there. It’s part confusion, part frustration, part awe, and part sadness. How in the world were there people on the face of the earth that not only promoted this mind-numbing tragedy but also those that stood alongside and didn’t raise a finger to help?

In Not Me, Lavigne tells the story of Heshel Rosenheim, a man dying of Alzheimer’s who give his son, Michael, a set of journals revealing that he may not be who his son has always believed he was. All his life, Heshel has been nothing but the most devoted Jew and exemplary man, but in this journals, he revels himself not to be Heshel Rosenheim at all but actually a Nazi who stole the identity of one of the prisoners when the camps were being liberated to escape prosecution. He may in fact have been one of those that stood alongside and did nothing to help. His son must then piece together the clues his father has left behind to find out who he father actually is, and ultimately, who he is.

Lavigne does a fantastic job painting not only the picture of Michael’s imperfect life but that of Heshel Rosenheim’s past life as well. He does a nice job creating two very distinct voices as the book switches from Michael’s contemporary point and view and Rosenheim’s journal entries. He keeps the plot in both worlds going at a brisk pace that will have the reading flying through this book wanting to piece together the story.

I only had a few places where I thought editing choices could have been made to make the book a little tighter. I felt the character of April really wasn’t necessarily needed. Yes, we as the reader come to connect April with Israel eventually but I felt Michael could have made the discovery without her in the picture. I also felt the letter from his mother in the end wasn’t needed. We, as the reader, pieced together that Heshel Rosenheim was the man he wrote about in his journals just fine without that letter. The letter helped to prove that he was indeed a devout Jew, but, again, we could piece that together without the letter. I wished the book would have ended at his death with a small conversation between Josh and Michael at the end.

The small gripes are just that. . .very small. In comparison to the rest of the book, there are little gripes I think any reader can live with.

This book will stay with me for a while and will definitely be one in which I pass along to fellow lovers of reading!
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Nov 02, 2008 Sera rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anyone who wants to read about a different Holocaust perspective

Recommended to Sera by: Shelia

Shelves: kindle, other-fiction, own

I've studied and read many books about the Holocaust, so I figured that this book would focus on the standard story of human suffering and the triumph of the human spirit in the face of adversity. I find the Holocaust (or any kind of genocide) to be devastating, but I'm been looking for something new to learn about the history (which is also why I didn't give Elie Wiesel's, Night, a high rating, even though I would have if it were my first introduction to the horrors that the Jewish suffered du...more

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Oct 01, 2008 Elizabeth rated it 1 of 5 stars

This book bounces back and forth between present day and post WWII in Israel during the Israeli fight for Independence. The time period of the 'present' part of the story happens to be during the High Holy days with many references to Teshuvah. It just so happens that it was during Rosh Hashana that I started reading the book. The main character is a stand-up comedian, wallowing in his own self-pity, who grew up in New Jersey. I did too so I recognized the local references as well as the ones to...more

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Aug 27, 2008 Rick rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

An engrossingly philosophical novel which may be too theoretical by half but nonetheless tackles some hard questions with a compelling premise. Mickey Rosenheim’s father is dying in Florida. By all accounts he is a Jewish saint, loved by all and sundry and the recipient of numerous awards, citations, and testimonials. The only problem comes when he arranges for his visiting son to take possession of a box of journals that seem to suggest Heshel Rosenheim was not in fact a holocaust survivor but...more

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May 08, 2007 Courtney rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Alyssa (and other Holocaust lit scholars)

Shelves: book-discussion-group-worthy, pleasure-reading, holocaust-literature

The premise is thought-provoking, but the writing is mediocre. The viewpoint swings between Michael, the struggling son of a concentration camp survivor, and his father Heshel, a Jewish human rights advocate with severe Alzheimer's. Michael's voice lacks any of the complexity found in similar characters, such as the unnamed son who narrates Wiesel's The Fifth Son.

But while Heshel's voice is not as raw and profound as others, Lavigne uses him as a strong catalyst figure: can you change who you ar...more

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Mar 16, 2011 Mcurran rated it 2 of 5 stars

Just too much tragedy -- dreadful reminiscent scenes of the holocaust -- the story is about a divorced comic no less -- who is unhappily divorced and trying to help his dying father who is in and out of dementia. His father was a wonderful man who had been in a concentration camp -- but the comic finds out he may have been a nazi. His mother died a few years earlier, his sister died of cancer at age 17 -and the comic -- killed her to end her suffering -- just a bit too much.

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Jun 08, 2009 Bobby rated it 5 of 5 stars

Oh my.. what a book to finish on my birthday. This novel touched me. It was one of those books that content with the ending, I drew close to me and hugged. While unsettling, at times, with questions concerning repentence and redemption, this extremely well written novel, left me with a feeling of hope and purpose. I gained the message that a person can always make the choice to grow and to change to live a meaningful life. I believe this is a book to be read each year between Rosh Hashana and Yo...more

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Mar 19, 2009 Audrey rated it 2 of 5 stars

While I get what Lavigne was trying to do in this novel, ultimately it never worked for me. I couldn't -- at no point throughout the entire novel -- relate with the main character. I found him to be unreliable (too many repressed memories), and his anger, sadness, lonliness all felt forced or faked even. As a result, I felt this total disconnection with what was going on in the novel. The "novel-within-a-novel" was interesting, however, and that's essentially all that kept me reading.

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Jun 28, 2011 Susan rated it 3 of 5 stars

Quite dark but fascinating story about identity and family history. I loved the way Levigne switched back and forth between the protagonist and his father's journal. It was almost two stories in one - a young man dealing with the death of his father, his sense of loss and confusion on the direction of his life, and Nazi soldier's story of survival, duel identity and role in the beginning of the Israeli state. The writing was good, characters strong, themes interesting. It just didn't totally blo...more

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Mar 14, 2013 Elyse rated it 4 of 5 stars

--Tender -- satisfying 4.5 rating!!!!
--Funny at appropriate times -- (a few great laughs)
--Insightful -- heartfelt -powerful

Father-son-Father-son-(old age, middle age, young boy, Alzheimer's, Holocaust,
San Francisco -- to Florida...

Wonderful characters -- (dialogue communications).

I absolutely fell in love with the little old ladies who bought Michael a ticket to attend temple services on Yom Kippur.
Oh MY GOSH, they had a WOMAN Rabbi. :)
The older generation "got use to her".....(I'm still smi...more

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Feb 24, 2013 Angie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2013

Not Me: A Novel: Michael Lavigne: A strange story of a man who thinks he discovers that his father is not the Holocaust survivor that he said he was. Well written, but didn’t ever really grabbed me, perhaps because I do not have a Jewish background, and there seemed to be a lot of details concerning Jewish customs and traditions that was probably meaningful but was lost on me. It was an interesting story about family relationships. 320 pages

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Mar 01, 2012 Sally rated it 4 of 5 stars

Michael Lavigne came up with a whopper of a story. This is his first novel written published in 2007. Who is Heshel Rosenheim????
A holocaust survivor???? His son Michael comes to Florida as his father is about to die. Due to his Father's Alzheimer's, Michael is
unable to get answer's to his many questions. Extremely well written, at times difficult to read because of past events. We are reading this for our book
club - should be an interesting discussion.

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Jun 04, 2012 Aimee rated it 5 of 5 stars

It was my first historical fiction,and I really like it. There is some language and gruesome accounts of the holocaust, but overall it was a redemptive story. Redemption in relationships, family, and of course with God. I also like that it spoke about Jewish rituals and beliefs. I found that very interesting. It made me want to learn more about the Jewish culture AND about the wars between Israel and everyone else!

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Feb 19, 2011 Rose Patrician Jackson rated it 4 of 5 stars

I loved the way the author used the stuff you'd expect in a mystery novel to keep you interest through out the novel. I am always interested in knowing more about the possibilities of what happened to everyone involved in WWII after the war ended. Boy, did this novel get my mind thinking about forgiveness and redemption. I am looking forward to the book groups discussion next week.

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Nov 23, 2012 Laura rated it 4 of 5 stars

I have taken this book off my TBR shelves a number of times since purchasing it, but always put it back for some reason. But I couldn't let it go... And I am so glad I did read it. The premise is so interesting and the layers of memory, judgment and history leave a reality of moral ambiguity. And, truly, isn't that the way life really is? Well-written, engrossing, recommended

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Feb 06, 2012 Juls rated it 3 of 5 stars

Interesting book of a son discovering that his dying father was an officer in the German army during WWII and then spent his life after the war assuming the name of a Jewish man and living his life as a Jew. I liked the book, interesting story (it's fiction) and made me think "do you really know your parents?" and does it really matter if you were raised with a family of love, a sense of religion, doing the right thing.

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About Michael Lavigne

Michael Lavigne was born in New Jersey. He currently lives in California with his wife.

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Quotes from Not Me

“But secrets never, ever disappear, even after they are revealed. And that's the real secret right there. The empty space that never gets filled. The entropy of falsehood. The real secret is the secret itself.” — 5 people liked it

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