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Jun 16, 2011

Joel rated it:

I am getting married in a little over a month. I am fortunately able to do this, because I am a heterosexual. If I was not, my attempt to enter into a legally-binding, stable relationship with my significant other would apparently rock the very foundations of the institution, and possibly turn a bunch of small, innocent children into drag queens, like some kind of ray gun.

Dan Savage, famous syndicated sexual advice columnist (and now über-famous homosexual) either is or is not married More...

26 comments like (34 people liked it)

Aug 28, 2008

Johnny rated it:

Oh man this one was good too! In this book, Dan Savage devotes a lot more time to research on his subject than he did in The Kid, which was more more a personal narrative than this one. This one is still a memoir, telling the tale of the gay marriage issue in his relationship, but I loved how he actually brings in lots of quotes and references to other sources. Most of it is still ridiculously funny, but I found myself crying a lot reading this book! It's a great read!

0 comments like (5 people liked it)

Sep 29, 2008

Adrianne rated it:

If you, like me, are wondering what the heck the deal is with marriage and "traditional values" and staying together forever and how politics, love and law intertwine: well then, this book is probably for you.

Part memoir, part politics, Dan Savage is his usual fun and hilarious self in this book. He also makes some great, occasionally cutting points, especially in his "Borrowed" and "Blue" chapters. Shit! I stole 'The Gay Lifestyle' for my straight self More...

1 comment like (2 people liked it)

Mar 21, 2008

Az rated it:

fun times! this was a reread for me (instead of struggling to write about executive power while blocking out hideous music next door), and i really enjoy this book.
it changes setting often enough to keep it interesting, from the real-time to the self-speculative to family history to current events--but not so often that it's confusing.
the kid is cute, the writing is sharp, the feelings are honest. not to mention the detail-orientated style of the discussion, it's got more than a fe More...

0 comments like (2 people liked it)

Dec 12, 2008

Robin rated it:

I have to say that I actually liked it better than The Kid, written by Dan Savage also. I almost gave it a 5 star rating, but I don't know if I would say it is amazing. It doesn't really compare to the Book Thief....but what it does is really make a really good argument as to why conservatives should want gay people to get married. This book is the journey that Dan and his boyfriend Terry make on the way to making the decision about getting married. Terry is afraid of "acting like straig More...

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Dec 05, 2011

Mark rated it:

Dan Savage is one of today's real civil rights heroes, in my opinion—and he has a great sense of humor. The book says a lot about gay marriage, but no matter what your sexual preference or background is, this is worth a read (or a listen -- only the audiobook is available at my library).

In this book, Dan (having read his columns and listened to his podcasts, it is hard to call him Mr. Savage) takes the reader on a journey as he considers whether he even WANTS to get married. He sorts t More...

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Oct 11, 2011

Denise rated it:

Dan and Terry have been a gay couple for ten years, they have a son together, and they plan to stay together forever, so why wouldn't they want to get married? Terry doesn't want to act like straight people and Dan is rebelling against his mother's oft expressed desires. They compromise on getting matching "Property of" tattoos and begin planning a 10th anniversary party that soon begins to feel suspiciously like a wedding reception. As the two of the struggle through their feelings ab More...

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Sep 13, 2011

Britni rated it:

I personally love Dan Savage. He’s frank, funny, smart, and not afraid to call it like he sees it (though I have my criticisms of him as well). I think he’s fantastic, and I’m sure that plays a role in why I think this book is fantastic. Or, maybe, I tend to agree with his perspective on most things, which would lend myself to enjoying his perspective in this book.

People often say that personalizing people and their struggles, humanizing them, does a ton to open their minds. Studies ha More...

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Mar 21, 2011

Librarian rated it:

Laugh-out-loud funny mixed with sobering (and sometimes depressing) observations about the issues surrounding same sex marriage in the United States. Dan really makes some insightful points about what aspects of marriage our society chooses to respect, and the insane illogic of how those aspects are ignored if both partners happen to be the same gender.

I loved his description of getting "married" to a lesbian in a court in Washington State - after the lesbian and her partn More...

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Dec 16, 2009

Clea rated it:

I was assigned to read this for my History of Sexuality class, and if I hadn't needed to read it for school I probably would have ditched it a few chapters in. Dan Savage's tone really irked me throughout the whole book: he's very sneering, he's not as funny as he seems to think he is, and some of the stuff he had to say about gender really got my hackles up. The chapter on non-monogamy made me roll my eyes a lot, even though I agree with him to an extent.

That said, even though I c More...

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Dec 05, 2008

Scott rated it:

I am a big fan of Dan Savage's "lovecast" podcast. He is hilarious and blunt. My only disagreement with Savage is his very distrustful nature of religion in all varieties. I think religion and a belief in God can be very profound, even if God doesn't even turn out to exist when we finally get that big question answered. I concur though that most religious institutions are very hard on gay youth.

Savage gets a bit preachy in the novel, but I expect as much regarding a gay More...

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Feb 06, 2011

Sarah rated it:

This is a memoir of one man's family's history with the institution of marriage and how this history guides him and his significant other in deciphering their own attitudes towards it. The wicket is sticky because the man is gay, he lives in the U.S., and his boyfriend and him have an adopted son who is terribly against the whole thing.

I deeply enjoyed Savage's family history and took a great deal of delight in sorting out his relatives and their diverse connections to each other. But More...

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Mar 16, 2010

Hilary rated it:

I don't know if I liked this memoir better than The Kid because I was already primed to read Dan Savage (his style, etc.) or what, but I did enjoy it more. Maybe it's because I am married so I could relate better. There are more players involved with this story--his mom has a major role; his son, then seven, is hilarious; his wacky siblings and family also make several appearances that make for a laugh out loud tale about the trials and tribulations facing a long-term (at the time, 10 years) gay More...

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Jan 29, 2012

Miss Karen Jean rated it:

Dan Savage is cool, and this book a delightfully breezy read. I actually would have preferred it as an audiobook, however, as I find Savage (oddly enough for a man whose made a career of being a great writer and editor) to be more moving when he speaks what he writes rather than just writes it. The poignant parts get much more poignant and the funny more funny. Plus I like the way he says "fucking."

Savage really nails it when he grapples with how all that hateful conservative More...

1 comment like

Aug 25, 2010

Lauren rated it:

Dan Savage is a funny guy. I knew that going into this book as I'm familiar with his love/sex advice column "Savage Love" that runs in LA Weekly. So was I shocked to find that The Commitment was a funny book? Not at all. Savage's humor in The Commitment is relatable, dry, perverse and touching - just my cup of tea.

So did The Commitment change my mind about gay marriage rights? Nope, not one bit. Probably because I believe in gay marriage rights. Also, probably, becau More...

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Jan 02, 2009

Becky rated it:

The first book that I read of Dan Savage's was "The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant." Other than the incredibly long titles, I've enjoyed both of these two books.

The Commitment is all about Savage's relationship with his boyfriend and their neverending battle over whether or not to get married. Dan and Terry have been together for 10 years and are commited to one another, but both have specific reasons for avoiding the whole issue of More...

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Jan 14, 2012

Christiana rated it:

Dan Savage reminds me of that guy at a party. You know, the guy who starts talking and seems pretty interesting. You heard about him from your friends and his life is atypical. You wouldn't mind hearing a little about it. But then he opens his mouth and you realize how self-congratulatory he is and that (Dan hopes) you're just there to marvel at him. Suddenly, you can't get away. You search over his shoulder while he drones on, looking for an escape method, but no one comes. He doesn't ev More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Oct 31, 2011

Katie rated it:

Another great book. I read Dan Savage practically every day on The Stranger’s Slog (their blog) and am a big fan of Savage Love. His book is really good. In it, he and his partner of 10 years, Terry, are deciding whether or not to get married (the book takes place several years ago before the “Everything but Marriage” act passed so this was even more of a symbolic act then). I really like how Dan examines marriage – both from a queer perspective, but also from a general perspective. As someone w More...

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Jan 02, 2009

Marni rated it:

The follow on book to 'The Kid', this was not as fast moving or even plot driven. 'The Kid' was a story of events, which made it a real page turner. This book takes quite a few 'time outs' from the plot to discuss how gay men and women are discrininated against, how the religious right's arguments against gay marriage is full of holes, and a real discussion of what marriage is historically and the concept of love between two people, wheter homo or heterosexual.

But--Savage writes ab More...

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Sep 06, 2009

Carlos rated it:

I recently finished reading this book and I've been listening to Dan's podcast religiously. I think he's one of the most reasonable and candid writers/sex columnist. His take on the issue was something we sometimes tend to forget which is the reality of it. It's exciting when it's planning a wedding but what happens after? Who are the people that will most likely be affected? Gay marriage is a very significant issue right now and it should be legal. I came to that conclusion after reading More...

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Feb 03, 2012

Kimberlykate rated it:

Before writing this, I sat down and read some of the other reviews here. Most seem to have a common thread, that The Commitment brought an awareness of some sort. A good thing.

I already had that awareness; some of the people I love and respect most in the world are gay, lesbian, or transgendered. There was no new knowledge of their plight or prejudices faced in these pages for me. I have seen it all first hand. They are my friends, my family, and my confidants, and thankfully wi More...

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Jan 30, 2012

Heather rated it:

I've wanted to read this one for a while and finally got around to it. It's Dan Savage's treatise on marriage - particularly (but not only) of the gay variety, what it means, why it's good/bad/tempting fate, and why it's ridiculous and shitty that gay people are denied that right and the mechanism of how bullshit laws like that still exist.

So, in short, it's sort of like his version of Elizabeth Gilbert's Committed, (albeit it predated hers), heavier on the personal aspect of his li More...

2 comments like

May 12, 2010

Nick rated it:

I really liked Savage's book, The Kid (about his and his boyfriend's adoption of their son), but this one, not so much. Part of it is that he presents such logical explanations (good ones, but I've made up my mind, I'll admit) throughout the book for choosing one option in the to-marry-or-not-to-marry debate and then goes and does exactly the opposite. He also tells us over and over again how hot his boyfriend is (once or twice would have been sufficient). He continually emphasizes that he br More...

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Aug 12, 2008

Cecelia rated it:

Wanted to read this after I heard Dan Savage do several hilarious pieces on This American Life. I think he is better in radio then in one book (and I had already heard the funniest part of this book on the air), but it still was a fast, funny read about gay marriage and the author's experience.

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Aug 10, 2010

Steph rated it:

I really enjoyed this book. Although Dan Savage's columns have been very hit-or-miss for me, this book seemed to capture the parts of his humor and personality that work and none of the aspects of his columns that rubbed me the wrong way. The book explores the concepts of marriage and family in the context of the author's experience and contemplation of marriage to his boyfriend (life partner? now I can't remember what labels they used for each other), and I was impressed by the author's thoug More...

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Jul 19, 2010

Sequoia rated it:

Recommended by the Offbeat Bride blog, this cracking book explores issue of family, marriage, monogamy, sexuality, and the various bonds of relationships set against the backdrop of Savage planning a 10 year anniversary party / maybe marriage to his boyfriend and co-father of his 6 year old son. Savage's frank and biting style skips around, equating the political to his personal life, creating a refreshing and thought-provoking book about gay marriage, straight marriage, the Bush administration, More...

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Jun 14, 2010

Betsy rated it:

Dan Savage writes a memoir that's both deadly serious and delightfully entertaining about the greater issues of marriage equality and his own personal debate about whether to marry his partner of ten years. How thought-provoking this book will be for you depends greatly on how much thought you've already given to the issue of marriage equality in the United States. Savage reiterates many points that are tent poles of the pro-equality movement, but he also sneaks in a few new ideas and argument More...

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Dec 13, 2009

♥ Marlene♥ rated it:

Finished this morning. I must say i am glad I am done and can pick something else to read. To be honest I was really getting so bored with the marriage stuff. Are we going to get married or not? Yawn.

It is interesting to read how the Americans, well some treat gays. It is so different here. Gays are very much part of every day life and for me the only thing different is the way they have sex. O one thing though. I really find annoying about gays.
They want to belong, have all t More...

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Dec 22, 2011

Red rated it:

The Commitment was funny, readable, and illuminating. Here's what I learned: that lingering sense that, while Dan Savage is kind of generally assumed to be on my team because our Kinsey scores are similar, he's actually kind of a douche and would sell me out in a heartbeat? it's pretty accurate. he may be gay, openly sexual, and monogamish, but this man is pretty socially conservative. he and I do not share politics. I stopped feeling betrayed by him as I read this book, and instead felt an unde More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Jan 13, 2010

Sarah rated it:

I really enjoyed reading this book. I happened to get on a Dan Savage kick and just read The Kid and The Commitment back to back. It was written funny, sentimental, and honest about his life with his boyfriend, kid, and family all trying to figure out whats best for all of them. About half the book was written as the politics of gay marriage and who is against it and why. I like reading about how the ant-gay marriage campaign has switched around and they all end up looking like hypocritical idio More...

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