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The Husband Swap

4.02  ·  Rating Details ·  53 Ratings  ·  15 Reviews
Louisa and Gilles love each other. There's a problem in paradise, though: their marriage is going nowhere. Together, they decide to explore polyamory, the idea that it's possible to have more than one lover--and more than one love. They fall in love with another couple and, embarking on a life-changing course, try to make it work as a quad. Their journey liberates them ...more
Paperback, 2nd Edition, 208 pages
Published May 1st 2015 by Thorntree Press (first published September 14th 2012)
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The Husband's Secret by Liane MoriartyHollywood Husbands by Jackie CollinsThe Good Husband of Zebra Drive by Alexander McCall SmithA Husband for Mari by Emma  MillerThe Husband by Dean Koontz
87th out of 104 books — 3 voters

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Mar 16, 2015 Manda rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I've been polyamorous for over ten years, which I am willing to admit is probably why this book struck such a chord with me.

While no two people's experiences are ever the same, the reality is that many of the things that happened to Louisa, or that she felt, have happened to and been felt by damn near every poly person out there in some fashion.

I found the book heart breaking but also refreshingly honest. And it covers something you don't see very often, because people don't want to hear about
Jul 28, 2015 Chad rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is difficult to rate. There are things I really liked about it and things that I really disliked about it. I thought it was extremely brave of the author to document her journey in this book, especially in the way that she appeared to be very open and honest about her own personal weaknesses. I was impressed with how she was, at least after the fact, very self-aware, and knew that sometimes her words and her desires didn't fully align. She is also a good storyteller; she writes with a ...more
May 21, 2015 Puck rated it it was amazing
This book is a wonderful tale of one poly relationship--or rather, of one polycule which consists of a number of relationships: each married couple, the metamours (i.e. the wives with each other and the husbands with each other), and each girlfriend-boyfriend couple, not to mention the dynamics that occur among each group of three within the quad and the quad itself. There's a lot to unpack there and Leontiades does it with deftness and generosity, pointing out not only the places where the ...more
Sep 03, 2015 Michelle rated it really liked it
Shelves: reviewed, ebooks
Even in modern culture, polyamory, that is good , mature, cultivated and loving relationships between consenting adults seems like a radical alternative choice or lifestyle few people understand or practice. "The Husband Swap: A True Story of Unconventional Love" authored by Louisa Leontiades is a surprising tastefully done and well written memoir of her own marriage and open relationships.

While in therapy after Louisa's extra martial affair ended, neither she or husband Gilles wanted to divorce
Sarah Arlen
Sep 21, 2015 Sarah Arlen rated it it was amazing
Shelves: polyamorousart
Sharing the good, the bad and the sometimes ugly is a hard thing to do, but Louisa Leontiades has done it in this memoir (which I highly recommend reading with the new companion book, Lessons in Love and Life to My Younger Self: A Companion Guide to The Husband Swap). If you want to really see what one person's first-time experience of polyamory was like without the rough stuff edited out, this book fits the bill.

There is so much joy in Louisa's experiences as she goes on her polyamorous journe
Michón Neal
Apr 08, 2015 Michón Neal rated it it was amazing
This is a wonderful, heartbreaking, and uplifting story of love, loss, and brutal honesty. It peels away the layers of expectations, misinformation, and all the ways people normally hide from one another. It's never easy to write about such personal tragedy or joy, and Louisa writes frankly and with insight that is helpful for anyone who has ever loved another person (or several persons). I finished it in one day; I couldn't put it down. It's hilarious, sensual, and refreshing. I love reading ...more
Jun 23, 2016 Rose rated it it was amazing
I'm really glad this book exists.

I'm not sure if it does anything spectacular in narrative structure or anything like that, but I know I couldn't put it down. This is the first polyamory book I've seen that is more about the people in it and the real things happening than a philosophical and intellectual digging into of the concept of polyamory.

We need more like it.

Thanks to the author for being brutally honest and open, and for not being afraid to show the world that polyamorous relationships c
Book-shelf Shelf
I found this to be more an account of actions rather than a story. I also found it hard to get into, but having said that, anyone looking for an open marriage/relationship should get this.
It is written from the heart and get very deep into how we love, why we love and how religions control our thinking, even when we don't consider our selves religious.
João Martins
Sep 28, 2015 João Martins rated it really liked it
Shelves: poly-books
Nice book retelling one person's experiences discovering their polyamorous identity. Short and sweet, easily readable (even though almost every paragraph ends in a punchline), and shows the good, the bad and the ugly... I would love to know what the other people involved think of this account!
Christian Heidarson
Nov 16, 2015 Christian Heidarson rated it it was amazing
On the surface, this is a book about two couples who fall in love with each other and make an attempt at a polyamorous ‘quad’. It is not quite the advertisement for the lifestyle. This is about people exploring Polyamory with a big P, as researched through wikipedia and self-help books. It is a story of perilous colonisation of a new land, where unrealistic expectations and unprepared characters produce disasters at every turn. If you’ve ever read about polyamory and though "No, that wouldn’t ...more
Vladimir Mikhailov
Dec 10, 2015 Vladimir Mikhailov rated it it was amazing
Shelves: poly
It was hard. Hard to read page by page and feel almost every wrong step made by Louisa like you've made it. It was very close to the feeling you have when you watch some horror movie and the girl goes down into the dark cellar to check what's the source of that noise and you yell at her 'do go there, you, fool!'. This book is not about monsters or something, it's about marriage, relationships and happiness. Which doesn't matter because you still can't able to turn away from the screen... I mean, ...more
Oct 06, 2015 Raven rated it really liked it
This was pretty painful to read, not because it's not well written, but because it's an unflinching look at the difficult emotional turmoil that comes with the growth and evolution of relationships. It's valuable to the US reader in part due to casting a different cultural lens on assumptions about relationships -- all four protagonists, including the author, are European, and therefore have different baggage in places than American poly people. Similarly, all of the protagonists here are ...more
Mar 15, 2016 Amanda rated it really liked it
I wasn't sure what I was going to think of this book at first. I have always been a believer in monogamy, and I find it hard imagining a relationship where one would accept their partner being with other people. This books gives a very fascinating new point of view-- insight into a culture I (and from the outset, the author) didn't really know existed. I like that it isn't an advertisement or idealized how-to guide for polyamory, but instead a raw look into a real relationship- the good, the ...more
May 21, 2015 Cin rated it really liked it
Shelves: first-reads
I would say this book is for everyone. I did not think I would enjoy reading this since I am a strong believer in monogamy. It’s engaging and honest. The more I read, the more I like this memoir.
I received a free copy of this book from the Goodreads First Reads program. Thanks for sending me this book so that I could know more about polyamory.
Dec 27, 2013 Kelda rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I found this book to be very interesting. The author notes she is only telling her own story from her point of view. Even with that one sided view, it still makes for interesting reading on the other ways 'to do relationships'
Cecilia Dunbar Hernandez
Cecilia Dunbar Hernandez rated it it was amazing
Jul 07, 2015
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Oct 30, 2015
Arvo rated it it was amazing
Jun 24, 2015
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Oct 23, 2013
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Oct 11, 2015
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Mar 17, 2016
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Oct 21, 2015
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Stephanie Brown-Quinn rated it it was amazing
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Louisa Leontiades is a freelance writer originally from the UK and author of the controversial memoir The Husband Swap and its companion guide Lessons in Life & Love to My Younger Self.

She is a regular contributor to Huffington Post, and her work has been featured in Salon, Nerve, Jezebel and the Guardian. She lives in an open relationship with her partners and two children in Sweden.

She runs
More about Louisa Leontiades...

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“The dissatisfaction and internal conflict that I had felt throughout my life wasn’t due to my husband or my marriage or my career. It was because for the majority of my life I had been trying to be something that I wasn’t. I was not true to myself.” 4 likes
“All along I had been careful to differentiate my desire for love from my longing for a purely sexual thrill. Falling in love was a one in a million chance. Falling in love with another couple was a one in a billion chance. Or so I thought.” 2 likes
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