The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine

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The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine

3.88 of 5 stars 3.88 · rating details · 3,142 ratings · 434 reviews

The acclaimed spiritual memoir from the author of "The Secret Life of Bees" "I was amazed to find that I had no idea how to unfold my spiritual life in a feminine way. I was surprised and, in fact, a little terrified when I found myself in the middle of a feminist spiritual reawakening."

Sue Monk was a "conventionally religious, churchgoing woman, a traditional wife and mot...more

Paperback, 256 pages

Published November 22nd 1996 by HarperOne (first published May 2nd 1996)

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Aug 07, 2007 Kati rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book chronicles Sue Monk Kidd's journey from a Southern Baptist church to a spirituality focused on what she calls The Feminine Divine. She leaves Orthodox Christianity after coming face to face with the sexism in the church and, as she sees it, in the whole Christian religion. Kidd articulates a lot of feelings and questions I myself have had as I have explored what it means to be a woman in the Church. I do not think I come to the same conclusions she does or that I will follow in her pat...more

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Mar 31, 2008 Michelle rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'd like to rate this higher, because I think the topic is an important one, and the author really tries to make it accessible by telling her own story, but I had a hard time with a lot of it, and not because of the subject matter itself, but because of the way it was presented. In the introduction, Kidd says that every person who undertakes a journey to seek out the feminine divine will have her or his own unique experience, and that she only aims to tell her own individual story; but throughou...more

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Feb 03, 2008 Emily rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Thank you Lord for helping me FINISH this book.

I, of course, wanted to read this because I've been such a fan of Sue Monk Kidd's earlier nonfiction. This was the last I hadn't read and her story of religious transformation from Christianity to what she calls a worship of "the Divine Feminine."

I can say that she is very expressive, well-researched author. She was extremely through, pulling in many different sources and, as her previous non-fiction books, she did a good job of weaving informative...more Thank you Lord for helping me FINISH this book.

I, of course, wanted to read this because I've been such a fan of Sue Monk Kidd's earlier nonfiction. This was the last I hadn't read and her story of religious transformation from Christianity to what she calls a worship of "the Divine Feminine."

I can say that she is very expressive, well-researched author. She was extremely through, pulling in many different sources and, as her previous non-fiction books, she did a good job of weaving informative and memoir. This book gave me a lot to think about. I enjoyed learning about some of the feminine characteristics of God- something I believe to be Biblical and often ignored by most Christian churches. There was also a good bit of fascinating history (especially about Gnostics and early Christian femininity.)This was also my first taste of any sort of feminist writing, which I enjoyed just as an overview. That's why I give it three stars.

Why do I not give it more? This is basically her story of becoming a feminist. Very few things in this book I agreed with. I believe in women's empowerment, but I've never had a desire to become a feminist. Like many other oppressed groups, she seems to feel a lifelong victimization because of her gender. She constantly reacts out of a feeling of perceived societal inferiority and anger.

In this book, she was so expressive and metaphorical that the symbols almost lacked power for the sheer number of them. I mean, really, does literally every object you pick up or dream about need to represent the Goddess within?

Spiritually, there were also a lot of disagreements I had with her. My pastor has often said that he's glad he worships a God who is too big to fit into his image. That's exactly what the Goddess of this book is- shaped in Kidd's image to be exactly what she wants.

Also, I spiritually struggled with the book because I believe that when God calls us to something in an authentic spiritual journey, (s)he (and I will acknowledge God's lack of gender) collaborates with us, moving us WITH and BY him/her in our life. There are going to be some things that we find difficult or uncomfortable. This wasn't WITH God, but about Kidd's own desire of what she wanted God to be, with no struggle other than a "rah rah" feminine empowerment.

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Jul 23, 2007 Caitlin rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book made me start doing what I might have once referred to as "hippie shit." Recently I was at a picnic that was being held at dusk at the lake, and I wondered away from the crowd and offered up a blessing to the Goddess. I blame/thank Sue Monk Kidd for this. Got to be unafraid to seek the divine in a way that fits and feels right.

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May 17, 2008 Sarah rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: women, spirituality

I thought I would like this book better than I did. The first couple chapters were alright as I could relate to her somewhat but then I felt like she just started swallowing whole everything that she read and chucking her entire past out the window. I just couldn't track with her anymore.

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Feb 08, 2009 Lia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: female-mysteries, healing, spirituality, favorites

My friend lent me this book for a day and I started to read it. I was amazed after only a few pages. The woman sounded like me. Like ME! So many of the thoughts and ideas she was presenting were familiar, even in the way she articulated them. When my friend returned to collect her book the next day, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought it. I finished reading it several days later with lots of marked up bits in the margins. It was like water on parched ground to read the true journey of a woman...more My friend lent me this book for a day and I started to read it. I was amazed after only a few pages. The woman sounded like me. Like ME! So many of the thoughts and ideas she was presenting were familiar, even in the way she articulated them. When my friend returned to collect her book the next day, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought it. I finished reading it several days later with lots of marked up bits in the margins. It was like water on parched ground to read the true journey of a woman who was a product of a strongly patriarchal religious culture who wanted to find the divine feminine for her own soul's sake.

Now, lest you think that everything in the book resonated, there are a few things I want to point out in this review (but the book still highly deserves the five stars).

First, even though she makes a strong case for the divine feminine, the Goddess, Mother in Heaven, or whatever you want to call Her, she makes this lame-brained statement partway through the book about how, of course we all know that God actually has no gender whatsoever and that speaking of a female divine is just for our own sake . . . My note in the margin at the point was fairly explosive. From what I could see, she was backing down on everything that she had built up and come to find in her own soul. She had dismissed the glory of her own self and the glory of God. And why? The only reason I could find was to be politically correct. Well, bah.

Second, while the majority of the book is about her claiming the power and beauty of her own divine soul and basking in the glory of the divine feminine, there are moments in the book where she places her power outside of herself and tries to make it more mystical (dancing around a tortoise shell in the moonlight, for example). This cheapens the reality of her soul's journey. And it also puts her new found empowerment in a dangerous place: outside of herself where other influences can take it and twist it and manipulate it. These parts of the book didn't resonate with me. They didn't necessarily alarm me, but they didn't feed that place in my soul.

I recommend this book in conjunction with A God Who Looks Like Me. (less)

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Aug 14, 2008 Jessica rated it 1 of 5 stars

I found Sue Monk Kidd’s books The Mermaid Chair and The Secret Life of Bees mesmerizing and poetic. They were the type of books that you don’t want to put down, but you don’t want to end, especially, The Secret Life of Bees. It was for this reason; I thought I would love all of SMK’s books. However, I was saddened when I read The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. In the beginning, I enjoyed the book and could definitely relate to a lot of her experiences as a woman in this society and as a Christ...more I found Sue Monk Kidd’s books The Mermaid Chair and The Secret Life of Bees mesmerizing and poetic. They were the type of books that you don’t want to put down, but you don’t want to end, especially, The Secret Life of Bees. It was for this reason; I thought I would love all of SMK’s books. However, I was saddened when I read The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. In the beginning, I enjoyed the book and could definitely relate to a lot of her experiences as a woman in this society and as a Christian woman. She talks about gender bias in society and in the church. It turns out that instead of embracing how strong a woman’s role is in the church; she rejects her role as a Christian woman completely and ventures off into her own creation, her very own religion. I kept hanging in there following her on her journey, hoping her faith and obedience to Christ would return. However, it didn’t. Reading this book took me for a spiritual rollercoaster ride. Like I said, I could definitely relate to a lot of the prejudice she has experienced as a woman in the church, but I was hoping she would provide some guidance on what a woman’s role should be in the church. I was hoping she would provide a solution, a way to intertwine Christianity and Feminism. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the blind leading the blind and instead of humility (which I have found is needed to gain any understanding and wisdom) the undertone of the book was pride. Of course, looking back I can see how her journey to the “Divine Feminine” was very present in the first two novels I read and mentioned above. Perhaps, that is why I enjoyed those books so much, because they really allow you to embrace your femininity and know how powerful and nurturing a woman’s love can be. However, I feel that as a woman these are gifts from God, by His grace alone, we are able to use these gifts for good. I feel though that we should humble ourselves and thank God for these gifts rather than worshipping these gifts. I know this is a very strong opinion, but I really feel like SMK has created her own idol(s). This has been done in the past with gifts God has given us: money, power, family… I think it has come to the point where she is worshipping her femininity, which is just one of the many gifts our Creator has blessed us women with. I must mention there were some very moving and beautiful parts of this book, too, because yes, being a woman is beautiful and yes, nature is wonderful and I feel at certain parts in the book she really celebrates womanhood and nature at its best. Yet, again I stress that women and nature are gifts from God and shouldn’t be worshipped as gods themselves. I do commend her for putting herself out there and sharing her spiritual journey, that takes a lot of courage, because you know, everyone is a critic. I love all of my sisters and I share their pain and I agree that womanhood should be celebrated. I know that whether SMK knows it right now or not; she will always be His, since nothing can snatch us from our Father’s hand. I just hope she will soon rediscover the joy in that—the joy in having such a loving, merciful, and graceful Father.

I still have a long way to go on my spiritual journey and what is important to me is staying true to my convictions. I feel that SMK’s book was a major stumbling block for me, as a Christian woman and therefore I would not recommend this to any other Christian woman.

Anyway, I am glad that shortly after reading this book, I read The Lies Woman Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free, and I feel that book gave me the guidance I was looking for all along. Also, listed in The Lies Woman Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free are other great resources for women.
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Mar 12, 2008 Gina rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Any woman, especially young women

Recommended to Gina by: My good friend Chris

Shelves: feminist-literature, religion-spirituality, biography-memoriors

While I hadn't given the male slant in Christianity much thought of late, (I stopped attending a traditional protestant church in my early 20's & was now attending a liberal church), reading this book reminded me why I couldn't have been born in an earlier time.
It reminded me of the stifling, oppressing man from a former relationship. Had I read this book then, I may have had the courage to end the relationship sooner.
Looking to a feminine higher power isn't a negation of a male god, it ju...more

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Oct 19, 2007 Jen rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

On the day my daughter started Kindergarten, I had my first meeting with my spiritual director, which is mid-sabbatical for me. At the end of our meeting, she recommended this book and I drove directly to the Fuller bookstore and bought and sat in the cafe and read the prologue. And then I cried the whole drive home. This book will mess with you, especially if you are a woman who leads in the evangelical church. Read with care! I found this book to be the door into profound personal journey of f...more

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Jan 03, 2009 Lara rated it 4 of 5 stars

My sister sent me this book, and said she was reading it as well. I've read Sue Monk Kidd's "The Secret Life of Bees" and "The Mermaid Chair," but I had no idea that she was a Christian writer in a previous life. An incident that happened to her daughter in a drugstore led to a re-examination of Kidd's life within a patriarchal marriage, religion, and culture. She describes her spiritual journey leading to her discovery of the sacred feminine. It was an interesting book, and I found that I have...more My sister sent me this book, and said she was reading it as well. I've read Sue Monk Kidd's "The Secret Life of Bees" and "The Mermaid Chair," but I had no idea that she was a Christian writer in a previous life. An incident that happened to her daughter in a drugstore led to a re-examination of Kidd's life within a patriarchal marriage, religion, and culture. She describes her spiritual journey leading to her discovery of the sacred feminine. It was an interesting book, and I found that I have shared many of her thoughts along the way. Perhaps it is a more common feminine experience than I thought.

I've always noticed the glaring absence of women in the scriptures, in church authority, in cultural tradition and history, and in the divine. It seems we women have two purposes: 1) to provide pleasant and attractive company for men while they rule the world and 2) to reproduce. Even the one area designated for women--the home/family--is not truly ours. Men are said to preside there as well. I found a lot of what I call "lip service to equality," but structurally, most mono-theistic religions clearly favor the masculine over the feminine. (And if you have to be continually reminded that you are "equally important," that's usually a clear indication that you are not. Do men need this periodic reminder?) Women typically answer to men at every level from the worldwide church authority structure, to local congregational levels, even down to the home and family itself. God is viewed in purely masculine terms, and there are no feminine role models to be found. In fact, maybe it was just me, but I got the distinct impression from certain church rituals that God didn't even want to talk to me--preferring instead to communicate with me through my husband. I went on a similar spiritual journey in search of the feminine divine (although it mainly took place inside my head, unlike Kidd's journey). There are actually parts of Mormon doctrine that support the idea of a Heavenly Mother, although it is very vague and seldom discussed. I read books by Janice Allred, Margaret Toscano, Maxine Hanks, Carol Lynne Pearson. They were comforting and empowering but in the end it seemed the feminine divine was just as silent and distant to me as Mr. God had always been. As much as I'd like to believe in either one (or both!), there is too much that seems like human imagination or invention to me.

I think that spirituality is a very real human emotion, and some people might experience and express it in different ways. To some, it may mean dancing around and singing and feeling a connection with nature and the divine. For others, like my mom, it is a long no-nonsense checklist of things that she must do to get into heaven. People have to find what works for them. I still haven't found what works for me. I have to imagine that if there is such a thing as a Supreme Being, it has to include aspects of both masculine and feminine. And wouldn't such a being love their daughters as much as they love their sons? I mean, come on, that apple incident was AGES ago!(less)

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Dec 29, 2008 Mariah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: christianity, feminism, religion, library, womens-spirituality, 2007, nonfiction, memoir

A traditional Southern Baptist wife and mother, Sue Monk Kidd had never really questioned her role as a woman in the church or society as a whole. Yet a series of incidents led her to realize all was not right, and that she needed to look for spirituality outside of mainstream religious institutions. Whereas before she was taught that authority was only in the Bible, she came to see her own experiences as valid- that she was her own authority. I found the book to be an inspiring source of ideas...more

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Feb 02, 2013 Liz Miller rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book helps me find a voice for the feelings I have that the traditional church treats women like servants. The church I grew up in was dependent on the women of the church to keep the pews full and the church suppers well attended, to run the tag sales and wash the altar linens. Women bring the children in to the church and teach the Sunday Schools.

When I was young women were not allowed to read the Gospel during the service or, heaven forbid, be a minister in that church. Many things have...more

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Jan 13, 2013 Laura Cavanaugh rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: spirituality

I've had this book on my shelf for quite a while and never felt ready to read it until now. Somehow the idea of a "sacred Feminine" and "Goddess" language felt really outside of my comfort zone, knocking against my traditional, conservative upbringing. I worried that it would be too theologically "out there" for me to relate to, but I bought it anyway because I have loved another book of Kidd's, When the Heart Waits, so much.

Although my own journey has been different than Kidd's, I found so many...more

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Jun 13, 2012 Michelle rated it 3 of 5 stars

I love that Sue Monk Kidd was courageous enough to pursue a journey she felt driven to and to then write about it. I was also so glad to read of a woman's experience rejecting patriarchy and discovering the Divine Feminine that turned out so positively and in a way that reconciled her with aspects of Christianity. I am in no way ready to make all the leaps she did, but so much of what she said resonated with me.

Quotations:

From Meinrad Craighead (in "The Mother's Song"): "The two movements are...more

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Aug 13, 2011 Amanda rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, memoir

Part memoir, part feminist semi-Christian theology, this book is author Sue Monk Kidd's narrative of her personal struggle with rampant sexism in her longtime Christian faith, sprinkled with a hefty dose of psychoanalysis. I really enjoyed the personal narrative aspect of the book, and applaud Kidd for her bravery in speaking out against patriarchal oppression of women of faith. That said, the book was disappointing to me on several fronts. It relies heavily on a handful of scholarly resources....more Part memoir, part feminist semi-Christian theology, this book is author Sue Monk Kidd's narrative of her personal struggle with rampant sexism in her longtime Christian faith, sprinkled with a hefty dose of psychoanalysis. I really enjoyed the personal narrative aspect of the book, and applaud Kidd for her bravery in speaking out against patriarchal oppression of women of faith. That said, the book was disappointing to me on several fronts. It relies heavily on a handful of scholarly resources. The majority of sources cited are actually poetry and prose, including several seemingly similar personal narratives - which I really liked, and Kidd has really given me a reading list. However, I expected a greater breadth to her cited work when it came to the theological particulars.
Some aspects struck me as contrived (especially the dreams) but ultimately I was disappointed that Kidd kept trying to reconcile her beliefs in the divine feminine with Christianity. I was dismayed that for Kidd the only way to validly worship the divine feminine is through the lens of Christianity. Those of us who have left the Christian tradition cannot relate to that conceit.
However, since she seemed committed to maintaining a link to Christianity, let me offer one criticism specifically on that note. I was disappointed that the Scripture quotes were primarily from the Old Testament - it was as if she wanted to avoid engaging with masculine privilege in the Gospels. You can say, for example, that there should be a female essence to a neuter God, but it remains that Jesus addressed God as "Father." I felt she could have made her argument stronger by specifically addressing the Gospels.
Also, in the gendered languages with which I am most familiar, words aren't assigned a feminine gender because they embody feminine characteristics. Why does Kidd (and presumably, others, although I found this section the least cited of the book - pp. 147-148) conclude that a feminine word ("ruah") in Hebrew is proof that at one point, there was a female counterpart to the Hebrew God in the form of Wisdom? I know that Caitilin Matthews has written a book on Sophia that has been on my reading list for ages, but I was hoping to find at least some research in this paragraph to indicate historical support for the argument. Instead, Kidd mentions it as if it is accepted fact, and I'm not convinced that the mere existence of a feminine nominative indicates there was Judeo-Christian precedent for the reverence, if not outright worship, of a divine feminine figure, allegory of Wisdom or not.

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Jul 08, 2011 Laurie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Best selling author (“The Secret Life of Bees”) Sue Monk Kidd was born into a conservative Christian family and married a conservative Christian minister. For years, she wrote inspirational Christian books. What, then, made her decide to step away from church teachings regarding the place of women and embark on a journey to find the sacred feminine?

Kidd had long been uncomfortable with how her gender was treated, both in society and in her church. Told repeatedly that woman was to serve man bec...more Best selling author (“The Secret Life of Bees”) Sue Monk Kidd was born into a conservative Christian family and married a conservative Christian minister. For years, she wrote inspirational Christian books. What, then, made her decide to step away from church teachings regarding the place of women and embark on a journey to find the sacred feminine?

Kidd had long been uncomfortable with how her gender was treated, both in society and in her church. Told repeatedly that woman was to serve man because Eve had tempted Adam into sin, she finally had enough when she went her young teen daughter’s work to pick her up, only to find the girl kneeling to stock the bottom shelf and hear one man say to another “That’s the way I like to see women- on their knees”. That started a journey of several years as she read, meditated, traveled and talked with other women as she tried to make sense of what was changing in her, spiritually.

Her reading took in both modern feminism and ancient texts. She found that in old Hebrew texts and the Old Testament there was a female deity as well as a male, but somewhere along the line she had disappeared. This, along with female deities from other cultures (Minoan Crete, ancient Greece, Native American), convinced her that there was a basis for a feminine spirituality. Eventually, she found that she could manage to hold both a deep feminine spirituality and to the Christian church.

Kidd writes of her journey step by step. It’s interesting and moving and her pain is palpable and there is an amazing amount of synchronicity, but after a certain point in the book the immediacy of her feelings seems to disappear. The narrative, for whatever reason, goes flat. It’s still useful and interesting, but it drags and a few parts felt like a chore to read- and read like they had been a chore to write. I’d recommend this book for any woman who is questioning the gendered aspects of modern religion as a beginning book. Even if they only read the first parts, it will head them in the right direction.
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Aug 13, 2009 Robyn rated it 2 of 5 stars

Rarely do I not finish a book, but after reading (okay, reading may not be the exact word for what I did - "plowing through" would be more accurate) over three quarters of it, I finally put the book down for good.

I really wanted to add this one to my shelf of feminist essays, memoirs and non-fiction that I love because the subject is important, but this one just didn’t speak to me and here is why:

This is Monk Kidd’s telling of her feminist spiritual awakening (so far so good) and how she had to...more

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Jul 21, 2009 Lisa Louie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I picked up this book at the advice of a poster to the ex-Christian list to which I belong, and initially found it an exhilarating read. Sue Monk Kidd used to be an inspirational writer who contributed to the sorts of evangelical Christian rags that my mom would keep under the coffee table. But then Kidd underwent a profound transformation into the Sacred Feminine after realizing Christianity's complicity with and even fundamental support for the suppression and degradation of women.

The part of...more I picked up this book at the advice of a poster to the ex-Christian list to which I belong, and initially found it an exhilarating read. Sue Monk Kidd used to be an inspirational writer who contributed to the sorts of evangelical Christian rags that my mom would keep under the coffee table. But then Kidd underwent a profound transformation into the Sacred Feminine after realizing Christianity's complicity with and even fundamental support for the suppression and degradation of women.

The part of this book that I found most compelling was the beginning when Kidd narrates the specific "epiphanies" she experienced once she began to question the Christian faith. For instance, she remembers the experience of being a girl in church and learning about the patriarchs of the faith were desperate to have sons, about how God put men in charge because Eve was created for man's benefit and she led Adam to commit the first sin and caused them to be cast outside Eden. As Kidd puts it, "The so-called God-ordained image of female as under male, incapable, disobedient, unworthy--all of which added up to inferior--was a devastating notion to me as a girl."

These collective agreements forced upon little girls in the church create a spiritual wound in women, Kidd argues, and only reclaiming the Sacred Feminine can salve it. When Kidd begins making her case for the Sacred Feminine, I found that I couldn't track with her because her writing became both general and abstract in just the same flowery way that Christian religious, touchy-feely magazine writing tends to be. Perhaps I found her reasoning difficult to accept because she still maintains the faith that the universe is serendipitously beneficent, and views her evolution towards the Sacred Feminine as fateful, a fulfilled destiny. Since I don't share her faith that such a benevolent, controlling metaphysical entity--female or otherwise--exists and intervenes in our lives, her argument for the Sacred Feminine failed for me. Or maybe I just didn't understand it properly.

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Jul 13, 2012 Kirsten rated it 3 of 5 stars

It's like a scary carnival ride. (You know you can do it...It's miserable while you're doing it, but when you're finished, you have an adrenalin rush and an appreciation for life.)

This book caused me to challenge a lot of thoughts I have about gender relations and inequities surrounding men vs. women. Even though SMK really takes her point too far, her message about the ingrained patriarchy of our society and world (the first section) hit home. I agree with a lot of her observations, and somepar...more

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Nov 11, 2012 Carolyn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir-biography

This might be an interesting book for discussion. Reading some of the online reviews, it appears some readers conclude that the religious experience of Sue Monk Kidd can not be reconciled to Christian faith. Certainly she does reject the patriarchy that is associated with much current Christian belief & practice, but I am not convinced she is disassociating herself with the core beliefs. For instance, note the following quotation from page 188:
"I realized that despite everything, strains of...more This might be an interesting book for discussion. Reading some of the online reviews, it appears some readers conclude that the religious experience of Sue Monk Kidd can not be reconciled to Christian faith. Certainly she does reject the patriarchy that is associated with much current Christian belief & practice, but I am not convinced she is disassociating herself with the core beliefs. For instance, note the following quotation from page 188:
"I realized that despite everything, strains of the deep song that played inside Christianity played inside me, too. Do you know what it's like to place your ear to a sea-beaten conch and hear a deep, mysterious whispering or to open a broken old music box and find the strains of a waltz suddenly escaping? It was a little like that--startling, strange, haunting, nostalgic."

"What do I mean by the deep song within Christianity? I mean the music that plays beneath the patriarchal overlay. I'm referring to Christianity's inner life, the life of Jesus, the stories, the belligerant call to justice and compassion, the mysticism, the meditation, the saints, the art, the icons, the smell of wine in the communion cup."

While some of her faith journey experiences are not mine or even something that beckons me, her experiences and viewpoints give me new awareness of the ways our lives are shaped by a patriarchal society and church. I would recommend this book to sharpen awareness of the inequality that exists for women in our society and in our churches. Addressing God as feminine as well as masculine would seem like a good place to begin.
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I also want to add a beautiful paragraph that spoke to my life in ways not necessarily intended by the author:

"Initiation is a sacred disintegration. Despite its pain, we carry the conviction (often only faintly) that even though we don't know where we'll end up, we're following a soul-path of immense richness, that we're SUPPOSED to be on this path, that it's required of us somehow. We move in a sense of rightness, of lure, of following a flute that pipes irrestible music."-(less)

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Mar 11, 2010 Dnicebear rated it 4 of 5 stars

My friend, Tina, was reading another title by this author, and I looked for that book, but found this one instead. Wow. The story of this journey from Christian Tradition to Sacred Feminism casts a lot of light on my own journey from growing up in a tradition where we said 'no' to a lot of things and in a culture that upholds patriarchy to knowing and valuing my feminine side and gifts. I'm especially nurtured by Kidd's re-telling and working with the myth of the Minotaur and the labyrinth and a...more

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Dec 17, 2008 Clickety added it

Shelves: library, nonfiction

Mih. Kidd is very articulate, but I really don't identify much at all with what she's writing; my "feminine experience" has been very different from hers. In fact, my sympathies through the story were pretty much with her husband as he tries to figure out what's going on despite her lack of communication with him beyond "this is something I have to do." Pfft. Real helpful, that.

She goes off searching for understanding & accepts the experiences and ideas that resonate within her. That's great...more

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May 18, 2012 Sarah Bringhurst Familia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, feminism, christianity

This book has been recommended to me multiple times, and I finally got around to reading it this Mother's Day.

It's definitely a book that needed to be written, and I gave it five stars because I don't know of another book that addresses this important subject as well as The Dance of the Dissident Daughter (If you do, please tell me, because I would love to read it). Kidd's description of her awakening to how male-centric her religion was really struck a chord with me. As a Mormon, I found it fas...more This book has been recommended to me multiple times, and I finally got around to reading it this Mother's Day.

It's definitely a book that needed to be written, and I gave it five stars because I don't know of another book that addresses this important subject as well as The Dance of the Dissident Daughter (If you do, please tell me, because I would love to read it). Kidd's description of her awakening to how male-centric her religion was really struck a chord with me. As a Mormon, I found it fascinating that many of the Christian doctrines she cites (such as the maligning of Eve, or the lack of a female divinity) are actually rectified in my own faith. But on a practical level, in spite of our more egalitarian doctrines, the attitudes of many church members toward women (and some of the things I hear from the pulpit) are the same as Kidd describes.

I didn't connect as much to the second half of the book, where she describes all the interesting things she did to connect with the Sacred Feminine. I don't really feel a need to do Jungian psychoanalysis or make string mazes through the forest. She also seemed to shift from wanting to connect with God to connecting with the divine within herself. They're certainly related, but I thought she conflated them, perhaps excessively. Still, many of her suggestions (e.g. meditation, sacred space, making a shift from living vicariously through others) are helpful. Also included in the Notes section is a sort of informal bibliography, which I will definitely be checking out for further reading.

The one bizarre thing is that Kidd appears to assume that every woman's journey will be virtually identical to hers. She is constantly extrapolating her own experience, even very specific bits of it, and prognosticating that every woman will go through a similar moment. I actually did find myself relating to her experience in many, many particulars, but I can see how someone might find her constant assumption that she is a sort of archetype for "everywoman" annoying.

All in all, an enlightening book, and definitely worth a read if you have any interest at all in the Sacred Feminine.(less)

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Mar 23, 2011 Shelly rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

The following is what I wrote for the book club that had me reading The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. Beneath it, also in italics is an added paragraph..

I did finish the book but it was a hard slog to do it. I'd read a paragraph and by the end of it couldn't recall exactly what the first part of the paragraph was. I couldn't stop thinking how nice it was for her to be able to take all those trips, not only the more local retreats to her circle of trees but all over the country and abroad. I...more

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Mar 10, 2013 Jessie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs-biographies, feminist-literature

I'm remembering how much I love feminist literature lately, and this book was an excellent addition to my already-sagging "feminist books" shelf. Sue Monk Kidd provides a critique of the patriarchal culture of the Christian church, and delves into how she feels it's let women down. Then she writes about her quest to find the feminine divine in her world, including how the quest impacted her marriage. This is one of the few books I have that I won't be loaning out as I have notes in the margins a...more

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Dec 04, 2010 Crystal rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, memoirs-for-research

So I’ve wanted to read this book for a while – I was curious about Kidd’s journey from being a “traditional” Christian inspirational writer to that one who has “embraced” the Sacred Femine.
There is so much in the book that I can embrace and there is much that I cannot. It is her journey and her way of coping with her perceived injustice of patriarchy in the world of traditional Christianity. At times, she carries through with a feminist rant and at times, she transmits clear, resilient eternal...more So I’ve wanted to read this book for a while – I was curious about Kidd’s journey from being a “traditional” Christian inspirational writer to that one who has “embraced” the Sacred Femine.
There is so much in the book that I can embrace and there is much that I cannot. It is her journey and her way of coping with her perceived injustice of patriarchy in the world of traditional Christianity. At times, she carries through with a feminist rant and at times, she transmits clear, resilient eternal truths regarding the human spirit. She applied this to the feminine spirit, but much can apply to any spirituality regardless of gender. There are many ideas she has about female creativity that are resoundingly true.
As I read along, I liked this book, and then I didn’t – vacillating with almost every section. In the end, while I do not embrace the Sacred Feminine as she does, the book is worth keeping because I translate much of what she says to my own spiritual journey regardless of whether I see God as male or female or both. And there are too many notes and arguments scribbled in the margin to send it along to anyone else!
In four sections she discusses her awakening, initiation, grounding and empowerment in the Sacred Feminine. Throughout she writes of her journey including designing rituals, taking pilgrimages and undergoing Jungian analysis to find “Herself” as she calls her Sacred Feminine Goddess. Some of the antics are almost laughable, yet I had to respect her passion and her wisdom because they overpowered her unusual symbols and rituals. One of my main disappointments with the book is that she would make broad statements for her ideals but not provide much “meat” as evidence. Thus she has constructed most of her own journey drawing from different spiritual traditions and amalgamating them into her own customized spiritual path.
I plan to go back through it, extract many quotes, and construct a detailed review of this book. If you are an open-minded Christian, you will find this book interesting. If you are looking for a tough minded and edgy feminist diatribe, this is not it.
(less)

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Apr 06, 2011 Joyce rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was a fascinating book. My pastor loaned her copy to me, but I'm going to order my own if for no other reason than having the bibliography available! I also need to order some to give away to friends.

The books sub-title really says it in a nutshell. Sue Monk Kidd grew up in the Southern Baptist church, and married a SB minister. At some point, she became frustrated with the patriarchal assumptions that dominated the SBs and other mainline churches. She began exploring spirituality, with a f...more

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Mar 24, 2013 Diane Cortese rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: pagan-and-spiritual

The author paints an interesting picture of her journey from orthodox mainstream religion to her new spirituality of the divine feminine. It was a familiar story to me, since I have taken this journey myself.

I liked how she expresses her raw emotion concerning her place in life as a woman and how she uses feminist, spiritual, allegorical, and historical references to emphasize her points. I can feel her frustration and helplessness as she struggles to find a way to still be the mother, daughter...more

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Feb 01, 2010 Dana rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

"When you can't go forward and you can't go backward and you can't stay where you are without killing off what is deep and vital in yourself, you are on the edge of creation" (p. 83).

This is a book about crisis and renewal. I appreciated its raw honesty about the breaking points that occur in people's spiritual lives. For me, the best part of the book was the first third when Sue Monk Kidd decides that she can no longer tolerate patriarchy for herself or her teenage daughter. She walks out of th...more

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Nov 01, 2011 Emily rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

My overarching takeaway from this book was a deep desire to never be as selfish as Sue Monk Kidd. Her whole "journey" seemed to be nothing more than deserting her faith, her husband (initially), and her responsibilities in order to take multiple retreats and find her "inner Divine Feminine". The tone of the book is overly introspective and sickeningly self-centered.

The "Divine Feminine" that she creates (she would say "finds") is a god made in her image. She found what she wanted to find: a "god...more

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About Sue Monk Kidd

Sue Monk Kidd was born in the small city of Sylvester. She felt the pull to write as a child, but because of the attitudes in the South during her youth, she only took to writing around the age of thirty. She started with spiritual and religious texts, about Christianity, and only began writing fiction when she was in her forties. She began working on her first novel, The Secret Life of Bees, in 1...more

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Books by Sue Monk Kidd

Traveling With Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story

When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions

Firstlight: The Early Inspirational Writings of Sue Monk Kidd

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“The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed...The story itself becomes a vessel that holds us up, that sustains, that allows us to order our jumbled experiences into meaning.
As I told my stories of fear, awakening, struggle, and transformation and had them received, heard, and validated by other women, I found healing.
I also needed to hear other women's stories in order to see and embrace my own. Sometimes another woman's story becomes a mirror that shows me a self I haven't seen before. When I listen to her tell it, her experience quickens and clarifies my own. Her questions rouse mine. Her conflicts illumine my conflicts. Her resolutions call forth my hope. Her strengths summon my strengths. All of this can happen even when our stories and our lives are very different.” — 58 people liked it

“The symbol of Goddess gives us permission. She teaches us to embrace the holiness of every natural, ordinary, sensual dying moment. Patriarchy may try to negate body and flee earth with its constant heartbeat of death, but Goddess forces us back to embrace them, to take our human life in our arms and clasp it for the divine life it is - the nice, sanitary, harmonious moment as well as the painful, dark, splintered ones.

If such a consciousness truly is set loose in the world, nothing will be the same. It will free us to be in a sacred body, on a sacred planet, in sacred communion with all of it. It will infect the universe with holiness. We will discover the Divine deep within the earth and the cells of our bodies, and we will lover her there with all our hearts and all our souls and all our minds.” — 31 people liked it

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The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine

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