Playful Parenting: A Bold New Way to Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behavior Problems, and Encourage Children's Confidence
Since play is a child's way of exploring the world, it also helps kids communicate hard-to-express feelings and work through stressful situations. Now a clinical psychologist presents an innovative, hands-on approach to using play in all aspects of parenting.
Hardcover, 320 pages
Published
May 29th 2001
by Ballantine Books
(first published 2001)
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Cohen has tremendous energy and creativity in using play therapy to connect with children and help them deal with difficult feelings and impulses. What a fresh approach to parenting! Reading the first several chapters, I was amazed and impressed at how he looks at troubling behavior, mindfully tries to reframe it, seeking to understand the struggle going on inside the child, and help that child come through it in an atmosphere of loving support. Cohen seems remarkably intuitive, and senses when...more
Oct 28, 2008
Nicole
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
parents
Recommended to Nicole by:
a lady on the radio
This book is a must read for those in the attachment parenting camp, and any other parent wanting to have more fun, more connection and more happy times with their children. Cohen gives concrete examples of how to connect with kids using play, including rough-housing, games, silly antics and everyday activities.
The basics:
Children "misbehave" when they are disconnected. In order to reach the kids, we need to re-connect. The best way to do this is in the language of children - play. We have to l...more
The basics:
Children "misbehave" when they are disconnected. In order to reach the kids, we need to re-connect. The best way to do this is in the language of children - play. We have to l...more
I had thought a lot about what parenting was going to mean for me and how I was going to go about it. I read a lot of different books covering all areas in great detail and discussedit with my partner. When my son arrived the experienced surpassed the greatest of expectations. Being the mother to a baby was just wonderful. BUT THEN one day, our baby was a boy who wanted to PLAY. He really showed that he needed me to get down on the floor and PLAY with him and his toys. I was totally unprepared f...more
I LOVE this book. There are so many opportunities to engage with kids through play, to deal with challenging behaviors through play...I once had a boy in one of my classes, 2 1/2 years old, who was going through a lot of change in his life. He would literally come to class each week and begin screaming at the beginning and not stop until the end, scaring some of the other kids quite a bit. For a variety of reasons, Mom was not intervening (she was very, very pregnant and I think just exhausted),...more
I read this when my daughter was smaller, and found it to be a really helpful book. I have to admit that my child is quite an "easy" child, but I think part of that is due to the way I interact with her due to this book.
What made the biggest impression on me in this book is the idea that you can pick your battles, and you can also have fun with your child instead of escalating a battle of wills, especially with a child who can't really communicate his or her feelings effectively at this point....more
What made the biggest impression on me in this book is the idea that you can pick your battles, and you can also have fun with your child instead of escalating a battle of wills, especially with a child who can't really communicate his or her feelings effectively at this point....more
While this book did help me think about more playful ways to communicate with my children, I wished it were organized differently. The author talks about the "Playful Parenting method" a lot but doesn't really ever articulate exactly what it is. He just says that it is "this philosophy" or "that philosophy." I guess you can see each chapter as an articulation of the method but I kept waiting for a more clear explanation and it never came.
Also, this book has a lot of specific anecdotes. You can...more
Also, this book has a lot of specific anecdotes. You can...more
I really LOVED this book. Of course, I play with my kids all the time and so it's not hard to love something that advocates what you are already doing!
However, I didn't understand just how powerful play was - I knew it was important, I knew I wanted my kids doing a lot of it, but I didn't know that I could use play in such specific ways to help them develop and grow and learn.
We are now playing even more around here, and I'm trying to incorporate some of what he talks about in the book into our...more
However, I didn't understand just how powerful play was - I knew it was important, I knew I wanted my kids doing a lot of it, but I didn't know that I could use play in such specific ways to help them develop and grow and learn.
We are now playing even more around here, and I'm trying to incorporate some of what he talks about in the book into our...more
Jan 06, 2012
Jenna
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
All parents
Recommended to Jenna by:
Aha! Parenting
Shelves:
parenting
My E.C.F.E. teacher noticed I had checked this out and she came to talk to me especially about how great this book is. I am so glad that I read it because it has had a huge influence on how I parent and how I see Brooke's world because her world is all about play all the time. And her play will get more and more complex. It was fascinating to learn about how children work through problems they are dealing with through play, and how they tackle new issues they are figuring out about life through...more
Time to hit the books again, as my parenting is in a shambles right now.
11/4 I don't think I entirely agree with this author's approach (I think many of the play examples he gives can sometimes be merely distracting or can be an intrusive way of trying to get the attention/energy of a child who isn't interested) but he is overall giving me a lot to think about.
11/20 I finally finished this book, and while I still believe that play is not always the answer, I have to admit that I have great resp...more
11/4 I don't think I entirely agree with this author's approach (I think many of the play examples he gives can sometimes be merely distracting or can be an intrusive way of trying to get the attention/energy of a child who isn't interested) but he is overall giving me a lot to think about.
11/20 I finally finished this book, and while I still believe that play is not always the answer, I have to admit that I have great resp...more
I've only read about half of this book, then had to return it to the library. But that was enough to inspire me to have a more playful approach to my daughter in everyday situations, and it is really working! She is 1 1/2, and she is getting to be a handful. This book also helped me with interactions with random kids I encounter at the park and everywhere else. Now I have some tools and ideas to change the tone of any situation, and change tears to laughter. It takes some work, but it is so wort...more
An excellent addition to the raising children arsenal. Cohen's clinical counseling approach is completely through play. He explains his approach through clinical examples and gives the rationale for why. In particular, he gives an alternative to the "time-out" which he argues is too isolationist when what is almost always needed is communication and collaboration: A "Couch Meeting" where anyone, parent or child, can call a meeting, the only requirement is that both/all parties show up. It is a t...more
At one point I overloaded myself with parenting books. I set them aside for a while and thought I'd get my hands dirty instead. But this book came highly recommended. It is wonderful, especially for parents of preschoolers and beyond. Someone I know says that parenting is the ultimate creative venture and this book exemplifies this. The philosophy of having fun while parenting is one that Brian and I already align ourselves with. It's a way of life, but sometimes is easier said than done, right?...more
This is a really good book, filled with lots of ideas for making the interactions with your children much more enjoyable and less stressful. The problem with this, and most other parenting books, is that the tactics he suggests almost always work for him immediately, but don't necessarily work with my son (who is 3). I'm thinking that my son must read these books ahead of me, and has his strategy prepared ahead of time. But, as everyone knows, all kids are different, and so you may have better l...more
“Pretend… that we’re really gonna be late and you’re really mad.” Imagine your child saying that when you’re grumpy and trying to get out the door in the morning. Games work for kids and parents, too.
"Playful Parenting" is a psychological look at what works with kids. It includes the memorable analogy of filling a child's cup with connection to meet his/her needs. Dr. Cohen clearly establishes that meeting children's needs is the key to long-term behavior management as opposed to reward-and-pun...more
"Playful Parenting" is a psychological look at what works with kids. It includes the memorable analogy of filling a child's cup with connection to meet his/her needs. Dr. Cohen clearly establishes that meeting children's needs is the key to long-term behavior management as opposed to reward-and-pun...more
I got some really good things out of this. It makes me think about the way I parent--it is usually just like my parents did it. It takes more effort than I realized to change what comes naturally--I hope I have enough energy to keep implementing some of the things in this book. Sometimes I think he places too much emphasis on bottled up emotions--but it has given me an alternative to time outs. I still would like to work on a discipline plan that works, especially when your kids are too young to...more
The first few chapters were a bit of a slog because it felt like the same thing was being said again and again in different ways ('play with your child'). But towards the end was more useful - how to discipline without the 'naughty step' (which I can't use as a childminder, and I hadn't quite worked out any alternatives). I think the biggest message I've taken away from this book is that the way my husband plays with the children is OK - he's a big kid - and I just need to leave them to it and j...more
A very insightful read. I think there are opinions everywhere and hocus pocus galore, but I like how simple the thought is in this book. I said the thought was simple, not the practice. It takes a lot of time and possible change on the parent's part, but if practiced properly I think can be very beneficial. I have used similar techniques when baby sitting when I was younger and as an auntie and have found positive results. I am glad there is a researched book to sight my findings with. Even if y...more
I usually get really annoyed with parenting books because they seem to be describing some alternate universe where complete peace is possible - then they go on to describe all the crazy things you have to do to achieve that peace.
This book pulled me in from the beginning with it's realism - I swear half of the families and problems he describes are lifted directly from my life! And the solution is not a cure-all, rather they are strategies to help strengthen the areas where you are weak from one...more
This book pulled me in from the beginning with it's realism - I swear half of the families and problems he describes are lifted directly from my life! And the solution is not a cure-all, rather they are strategies to help strengthen the areas where you are weak from one...more
I'd probably give 3.5 stars if that were an option. I like a lot of the ideas in here, but there were a few things I really didn't like. The idea that to connect with your child you must play - what the child wants to play - with them is common sense and central to the book. I like his ideas about addressing issues like bullying, painful school drop off, etc. through play. I am not sure about his lack of discipline. He advocates for a meeting on the couch instead of things like timeout or ground...more
Keynes famously said "Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influence, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist" and in a similar way, many of us are probably unwitting inheritors of a behaviourist view of parenting that suggests we somehow *should* be punishing or rewarding behaviour at its face value.
Lawrence Cohen offers another perspective, based on personal and professional experience, and two simple and reasonably common-sense ideas. The fir...more
Lawrence Cohen offers another perspective, based on personal and professional experience, and two simple and reasonably common-sense ideas. The fir...more
One of my absolutely favorite parenting books. It's tremendously helpful in how I approach situations with my little ones. Not like everything is smooth sailing yet, but maybe I need to keep rereading this and a few other certain titles until more of the techniques and principles 'stick'.
I really felt this book gave me some insight into the minds of kid that a lot of others didn't. For instance, the stuff about aggressive play and how it can be beneficial to let the kids work out their stuff th...more
I really felt this book gave me some insight into the minds of kid that a lot of others didn't. For instance, the stuff about aggressive play and how it can be beneficial to let the kids work out their stuff th...more
Very interesting perspective on parenting! The message that has really stuck with me is the fact that if kids are acting up, all they may need is even a few minutes of our undivided attention to really reconnect, then they will be just fine. Taking those few minutes could save hours of struggling and grief. Plus, we need to have fun and connect with kids on their level once in a while! I've only been a parent for a year and a half and I already forget that often.
As far as the discipline section...more
As far as the discipline section...more
i enjoyed this book immensely--more than any other "attachment-style" parenting book i've read. cohen diligently and single-heartedly explains the need to connect with your child and how to keep that connection alive. too bad you can't use some of these concepts with adults! but, somehow i doubt most friends/partners would take trying to pull one another's socks off or playfully wrestling as a method for healing relationship problems. but, then again, maybe that depends on the auldt! ha!
my favor...more
my favor...more
Mar 22, 2008
Elizabeth
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
parents, teachers, childcare providers, families
"We complain about children's short attention spans, but how long can we sit and play marbles or Barbies or Monopoly or fantasy games before we get bored and distracted, or pulled away by the feeling that getting work done or cooking dinner is more important." p.3
i just finished this book and it is really good. I think this book is a good way to apply attachment parenting to older children. Essentially it is a book for adults on how to play with children. There were a few chapters in the middle...more
i just finished this book and it is really good. I think this book is a good way to apply attachment parenting to older children. Essentially it is a book for adults on how to play with children. There were a few chapters in the middle...more
Pair this book with Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting" - that one is more theory and this one is more practice. Together they make a fine pair of books that (if read by even a fourth of the parents out there) could make a substantial change toward the improvement of society.
One of the small details of this book that made me decide to add it to my shelf was Cohen's reference to children as his friends. This is not something the average adult does. We don't say; "When I was hanging out with m...more
One of the small details of this book that made me decide to add it to my shelf was Cohen's reference to children as his friends. This is not something the average adult does. We don't say; "When I was hanging out with m...more
Cohen has just authored a book on roughhousing which I read about, and the review of that one mentioned this one. WOW! What a find. Basic tenet: to kids, play is communicating and working through emotions. Adults talk and share; kids play. So for parents to help their kids communicate and deal with emotions, playing with them is essential. This book was fabulous. Great advice, easy-to-digest and use, and a nice mix of that advice with personal and gathered examples from real life. I might buy th...more
Written by an experienced play-therapist, this book was very intuitive and yet surprising. Cohen walks parents through the importance of play in helping children to understand their world and express their feelings about it, shares techniques for encouraging more productive, healthy play, and sprinkles in a lot of helpful anecdotes. Much of his content I felt I already knew intuitively, but having someone state it directly helped me to remember it better in my daily interactions.
I liked this book. Good insights about the importance of play and the power of play in a child's life. Towards the end of the book however, the author pits this 'playful parenting' idea against more 'consequence-centered' parenting approaches (I made up that term obviously). That bothered me a bit. I don't see a conflict between the approaches and I think they both can be used harmoniously. All in all - a good book and I look forward to trying many of his suggestions.
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Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., the author of PLAYFUL PARENTING, is a licensed psychologist specializing in children's play and play therapy. In addition to his private therapy practice, he is also a speaker and consultant to public and independent schools, and a teacher of parenting classes and classes for daycare teachers. Dr. Cohen is also the co-author, with Michael Thompson and Catherine O'Neill Gr...more
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“I’m always amazed when adults say that children “just did that to get attention”. Naturally children who need attention will do all kinds of things to get it. Why not just give it to them?”
—
3 people liked it
“My wife was out and I was home alone with Emma when my mother called. She said, "Oh, so you're babysitting?" As politely as I could manage, I answered, "I call it fathering." She realized immediately what she had said and apologized. I realized that when she was a child, and again as a mother of young children, father's active involvement with their infants was so minimal that it could fairly be called baby-sitting.”
—
1 person liked it
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Mar 29, 2009 12:06pm