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3rd out of 52 books
—
49 voters
Grace Based Parenting: Set Your Family Free
by
Tim Kimmel
Parents in our post-modern world tend to be committed to but anxious about their child-rearing responsibilities. They've tried the countless parenting books on the market, but many of these are strident, fear-based books that loving parents instinctively reject, while still searching for direction.
Now Dr. Tim Kimmel, founder of Family Matters ministries, offers a refreshin...more
Now Dr. Tim Kimmel, founder of Family Matters ministries, offers a refreshin...more
Paperback, 260 pages
Published
May 17th 2005
by W Publishing Group
(first published 2004)
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I read this book because I've heard so much discussion. I strongly disagreed with the viewpoint and found its thoughts largely unhelpful.
• Kimmel used "grace based" rather loosely and left me feeling that it was just a term for his own perspective. As such, it felt like an unfair prejudicing of the debate. Who's going to win arguing for the anti-grace based approach?
• I agree with his basic dictum that we should treat our kids the way God treats us. I do think, however, that his view of God is d...more
• Kimmel used "grace based" rather loosely and left me feeling that it was just a term for his own perspective. As such, it felt like an unfair prejudicing of the debate. Who's going to win arguing for the anti-grace based approach?
• I agree with his basic dictum that we should treat our kids the way God treats us. I do think, however, that his view of God is d...more
9 likes · like · see review
view all 6 comments
Aug 04, 2008
Maura
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Everyone
Recommended to Maura by:
My church
I loved this book, and hope to re-read it at least once, if not regularly. I think it is great on many levels. It is especially good for more authoritarian Christian parents, to help them understand how we can (and should?) parent our children with the grace with which our loving God parents us. I think far too many Christian parents lean more toward the justice side of God than the grace side. Another thing that came to my mind often as I read this book is how much I would love my non-Christian...more
Opened my eyes up to being a better parent. But it wasn't as insightful as I had hoped it would be.
Lots of reasons to BE more graceful...just not a lot of ideas on how to get there.
Lots of reasons to BE more graceful...just not a lot of ideas on how to get there.
This was a hard one: I got it knowing I would probably find it challenging because I struggle with being an authoritarian style parent. I often default to "do it because I say so, and don't talk back or argue" and I recognize that I need to be willing to change that in some instances. However, I don't feel that it helped much.
Most of what he says I agree with, and it was a good admonishment to have a different way of thinking about things. I'll take some of what he says to heart. However, there...more
Most of what he says I agree with, and it was a good admonishment to have a different way of thinking about things. I'll take some of what he says to heart. However, there...more
While I know this book has done much in the way of introducing parents to a more grace-based form of discipline (hence the two stars instead of only one), I disliked it front-to-back. The part that really sealed the deal for me can be found on pages 221 and 222:
"Children learn from discipline and have an internal sense of justice that needs to know they have paid their debt for their infraction and can move on with their lives...
...[The children] wanted to get their punishment over with so that...more
"Children learn from discipline and have an internal sense of justice that needs to know they have paid their debt for their infraction and can move on with their lives...
...[The children] wanted to get their punishment over with so that...more
I don't know if it was the writer's style or the present mood or circumstances I've been in, but I had to put the book down. Every time I'd put pick it up, I'd eventually find myself in a disgruntled mood (about life, my marriage and the ways were were each brought up). I got through over half the book. I thought the ideas and precepts were really good, but the ways he elaborated on them were not helpful. I found him more critical of people that don't parent "right" and he seemed prone to using...more
3 likes · like · see review
I just finished Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. Wow, wow and wow. What a beautiful, uplifting, encouraging book. If you are a parent who is tired of feeling like you are battling your children everyday, this is the book for you. Tim shows us how to parent in a way that is grace-filled, that releases our homes from legalism and lets our children truly live as God intended: free in Christ.
I cannot recommend this book more highly. I came away feeling refreshed and more confident as a parent. P...more
I cannot recommend this book more highly. I came away feeling refreshed and more confident as a parent. P...more
Wow - this book was really challenging. He talks a lot about giving your kids the grace to do things that aren't morally wrong (even though they might make you cringe - like dying their hair funky colors). Also, the focus should be on raising strong kids instead of "safe" kids. Very thought-provoking. I'm actually going to read this one again . . .
"In the same way, if the bottom line of parenting is grace, then that should affect how you develop goals for your children, how you handle discipline, how you process their fears, how you deal with their quirks and idiosyncrasies, and how you respond to their fads. Grace keeps you from clamping down on their spirits when they move through awkward transitions and walk through the valley of the shadow of adolescence. The reason grace makes the most sense as a bottom line for parenting is because...more
Generally a good read, based on some simple ideas, but with lots of examples to help you see how 'grace-based parenting' is lived out, only one that I didn't quite get. A little bit of American Christianism, but on the whole it was fairly neutral and well-written.
Accessible to parents of any-aged kids.
It answers the question, What does Christian parenting really look like? We all have good intentions, but sometimes it can be hard to work out how to put it into action. This book helps to break it...more
Accessible to parents of any-aged kids.
It answers the question, What does Christian parenting really look like? We all have good intentions, but sometimes it can be hard to work out how to put it into action. This book helps to break it...more
I loved this book so much and recommend it to all my Christian parent friends. It is a beautiful illustration of what being a strong yet gentle parent means. It's power under control, exhibiting the love and grace you receive from your Heavenly Father and learning to model that for your children and speak love and wisdom into their lives. It reminded me to not sweat the small things- instead of freaking out over things that seem absurd, take a new approach and think about whether or not its real...more
Grace Based Parenting
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Over the last 16 years as a parent I have read a lot of books on parenting, I have taught many courses on parenting, and my wife and I have given a lot of advice to parents, plus we have made a lot of mistakes that we hope to learn from. This book is probably one of the best books on Christian parenting that I have read. I would put it in my top 3 with “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” and “Age of Opportunity”.
If you are looking for a reading road-map for your...more
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Over the last 16 years as a parent I have read a lot of books on parenting, I have taught many courses on parenting, and my wife and I have given a lot of advice to parents, plus we have made a lot of mistakes that we hope to learn from. This book is probably one of the best books on Christian parenting that I have read. I would put it in my top 3 with “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” and “Age of Opportunity”.
If you are looking for a reading road-map for your...more
Until the publication of Elyse Fitzpatrick's and Jessica Thompson's Give Them Grace, Kimmel's Grace Based Parenting was my favorite parenting book. Now I feel the two books complement each other beautifully. After 19 years of parenting 8 children and repenting for our former law-based parenting agenda, our children seek Jesus because they understand the glorious freedom and precious salvation that grace brings. The law never motivates anyone, but grace? Well, it is by grace we have been saved.
I think many parents do get to the stage when you realise no one parenting book has it all.But many of them in the Christian parenting arena have good things to say. This is another book that I think can work towards rounding out your parenting.
Tim Kimmel writes to challenge Christian parents as to what is actually motivating their parenting choices. If you are parenting with the intention of leading your children to the Lord, is the guidance and rules you set before your children going to help...more
Tim Kimmel writes to challenge Christian parents as to what is actually motivating their parenting choices. If you are parenting with the intention of leading your children to the Lord, is the guidance and rules you set before your children going to help...more
I loved this book. I read it years ago and I am still not a parent. It helped me realize that things that have happened in my life may have been helping me out actually.
I think you gain strong principles from this book that can help you out when you're ready to take that step in your life. We can not shelter our children, we need to allow them to grow and build a foundation allowing THEM to grow rather than us as parent imposing our expectations upon them.
I feel this would greatly benefit both...more
I think you gain strong principles from this book that can help you out when you're ready to take that step in your life. We can not shelter our children, we need to allow them to grow and build a foundation allowing THEM to grow rather than us as parent imposing our expectations upon them.
I feel this would greatly benefit both...more
Now it may seem odd at first glance that I, a single, childless woman, would pick up a book on parenting, but I have a bit of a love-affair with grace and happened across this lovely tome whilst babysitting at my sister's. The beautiful thing about this one is that it's less of a parenting how-to (totally irrelevant to me) and more of understanding and developing my relationship with God by understanding and developing all sorts of relationships around me. In short, this book is about living lif...more
Still need to finish my notes, but I did finish the book.
Kimmel is certainly operating from a different definition of "grace" than I expected to find here. I still haven't figured out what his definition is, but this is what I expected: http://cyclopedia.lcms.org/display.as...
notes in progress:
pg. 41: lighthouse=grace??
pg. 53-54: Unreal. He tries to talk the woman who cuts his hair out of delivering her breech baby vaginally *while she is in labor.* He says she said she didn't want a c/s b/c of...more
Kimmel is certainly operating from a different definition of "grace" than I expected to find here. I still haven't figured out what his definition is, but this is what I expected: http://cyclopedia.lcms.org/display.as...
notes in progress:
pg. 41: lighthouse=grace??
pg. 53-54: Unreal. He tries to talk the woman who cuts his hair out of delivering her breech baby vaginally *while she is in labor.* He says she said she didn't want a c/s b/c of...more
Ugh. I hate reviewing this one.
It drove me mad and I wanted to throw it across the room several times. I did wind up hissing at it once or twice. I would also highly recommend it.
Kimmel has produced a solid work of philosophy/right-thought (as opposed to a practical instruction book)on what he believes are the most important aspects of parenting. I agree with him. I think he managed to take a potentially confusing idea of grace and applied it marvelously to how parents should see, and treat the...more
It drove me mad and I wanted to throw it across the room several times. I did wind up hissing at it once or twice. I would also highly recommend it.
Kimmel has produced a solid work of philosophy/right-thought (as opposed to a practical instruction book)on what he believes are the most important aspects of parenting. I agree with him. I think he managed to take a potentially confusing idea of grace and applied it marvelously to how parents should see, and treat the...more
If you are struggling with legalism issues from your home of origin or in your life as a parent, this book is a great encouragement to help you swing towards a different direction. I liked the "bones" of this book. The ideas were presented clearly and the many arguments against this approach were addressed (grace does not= permissiveness).
This is one of those books I would like to read again when my children reach the pre-teen stage, because a big key to applying the grace principles described...more
This is one of those books I would like to read again when my children reach the pre-teen stage, because a big key to applying the grace principles described...more
I borrowed this book from a friend who had heard the author speak. I was quite impressed with his general message and the thought behind it. I will be buying my own copy. The ideas and principles are well thought out and backed up with bible verses. I like how he points out the three basic needs and clarifies them so we have a better understanding. I feel like, by the end of this book, I am equipped with a handful of new tools to apply to my every day life.
Quite possibly the most enlightening and inspiring parenting book I've read. Not the least of its merits is the explanation of where and how much Christian parenting goes awry and what to do about it. The whole premise that our children understand God's love based on the way we love them rings so true with me. I want to start again reading it from the beginning and take notes and make personal goals this time around, not to mention to start right now making my relationship with Christ and my und...more
I really enjoyed this book and would like to own it, since I kept wanting to highlight things and underline sentences. 5 stars I suppose is a little generous, but I was happy to find a parenting book that I liked so much. Just like most books of this genre, we could use more black and white do's and don'ts and checklists of how to have the perfect kids, but I really appreciated this author's love of children, his warnings against legalism, and other parts. I am a big believer in sheltering my ki...more
Jul 29, 2012
Meghan
is currently reading it
I'm currently reading this one and am looking forward to what it has to teach me. Our church gave it to us when we dedicated Claire. It's about the concept of raising our kids based on God's model - not this world's model - and using the methods and standards that God uses with us. May be one of those books that I'll have to periodically return to to be reminded of God's plan for me and my children.
This book gave me some food for thought but mostly I came away feeling like a lousy mother. I began to second guess every time I corrected them or punished them. There was some good content and I think it will be more valuable to me as my kids get older. But for now, I am still in the trenches of the daily hard work of training them to be responsible, kind, Godly kids.
I felt much of it was repetitive and vague. I also wish it had more real-life/concrete examples or scenarios in how a grace-based parent would deal with sin, discipline, consequences, etc. That being said, there were a handful of eye-opening statements that will change my parenting outlook for the better. It especially gave me confidence, encouragement, and direction in the way I'm raising my 3 boys - allowing them to be who they are and not trying to mold them into my little robots.
Great book, read it! I would agree with those below that his tone is harsh and it seems he pats himself on the back throughout the book but dont throw out the baby with the bath water. His walk through grace and how to apply it to parenting is wonderful and challenging. I would give this to every first time parent to shape their parenting!
I loved this book and highly recommend it. The author does an
excellent job in outlining his beliefs and concepts about parenting into a simple yet profound framework that fits into one's overall belief/religion/philosophy.
I feel that the absence of step-by step guidelines strengthens the claims made in that this system allows individual differences to be celebrated and mistakes/challenges to be forgiven with God given grace.
I enjoyed the anecdotes and felt compelled to examine my own childhood...more
excellent job in outlining his beliefs and concepts about parenting into a simple yet profound framework that fits into one's overall belief/religion/philosophy.
I feel that the absence of step-by step guidelines strengthens the claims made in that this system allows individual differences to be celebrated and mistakes/challenges to be forgiven with God given grace.
I enjoyed the anecdotes and felt compelled to examine my own childhood...more
rNot your typical parenting book...very freeing, and full of reminders to be real with your children about your own need for forgiveness and grac,e, modeling what it is to be children of a Father Who loves us in spite of ourselves and Who is always ready to forgive. Funny, too. Not a guilt inducing parenting book, but the opposite.
Meeting your child's inner needs of security, significance, and strength. Letting them be candid, make mistakes, and be different (as long as it's not going against a moral standard). Getting to the heart of matters; fostering a relationship instead of rules and regulations - legalism. Kids will want a relationship with God when they live in a grace-based home.
Was so excited about this book, but for the most part was left disappointed. Dr. Kimmel's problem isn't that he isn't informed, but that he doesn't clearly say what he's getting at. I love the overall message that Kimmel is giving about grace-based parenting, but every chapter in this book could have been shortened considerably if he didn't beat a dead horse into the ground at every turn. Perhaps the most frustrating aspect is that his parenting focus seems to be a response to legalistic parenti...more
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