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How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years
"You never listen to anything I say "
Yesterday, your child was a sweet, well-adjusted eight-year-old. Today, a moody, disrespectful twelve-year-old. What happened? And more important, how do you handle it? How you respond to these whirlwind changes will not only affect your child's behavior now but will determine how he or she turns out later. Julie A. Ross, exec
...morePaperback, 210 pages
Published
July 2nd 2008
by McGraw-Hill
(first published 2008)
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I bought this book on recommendation of a friend. When I first got the book in the mail, I was intrigued by the claims on the back cover:
* Find out how other parents survived nightmarish tween behavior — and still raised great kids
* Break the "nagging cycle," give your kids the right balance of responsibilities, and get results
* Talk about sex, drugs, and alcohol so your kid will listen
* Discover the secret that will help your child disregard peer pres...more
* Find out how other parents survived nightmarish tween behavior — and still raised great kids
* Break the "nagging cycle," give your kids the right balance of responsibilities, and get results
* Talk about sex, drugs, and alcohol so your kid will listen
* Discover the secret that will help your child disregard peer pres...more
I haven't cried this hard while reading a book in a long time! I cried for two reasons, one is that everything I'm currently experiencing with Sierra was written about in this book and it was such a relief that if it's written down, it's because other people have experienced the same thing which means there will be help for me to know what to do! The second reason I cried is because it really was a confirmation that my little girl is no longer little. She's growing up and most of our problems...more
I accidentally got this book from the library (meant to check out the How to Hug a Porcupine original book) but I thought I'd read a few chapters because one of my dd's is approaching the tween years. I was pleasantly surprised to find this book was so well written with lots of great ideas about how to communicate with your children (spouse too, I think). There were a few major lightbulb moments for me that have changed the way I think about some important things. Chapters on a lot of the thi...more
If all you did was read the chapter titles, you'd quickly be reassured that your child's behavior is "normal". After that reassurance, you'll have to admit that your child is indeed a porcupine and learn to look beyond the behavior to what find out what exactly is going on with your child. Ross's suggestions are wise and I wish I had read this book when my own children were in their tween years. Neverthless, several of the points are still applicable for my teens. As parents we ne...more
I used to read parenting books when my kids were little.m I picked this book up at the library because the title looked interesting. It is very easy to read and broken down into easy to manage topics. It makes you realize your kids are normal. Also, so far, my kids are easier than the problems that arise in this book. The book's strength is its reminder that the goal is to have a respectful relationship with your kids, rather than total control. I am up to the "Computer addiction" c...more
This book really tells it like it is! It gives lots of specific situations and examples and some wonderful ways to increase communication between parents and middle-schoolers. I can only hope to execute on some of the author's suggestions.
Nothing earth-shatteringly new here and I can't see myself tolerating some of the disrespect she describes, but I think her general ideas are sound. A lot of it was similar to attachment parenting - when they press your buttons, try to focus on the relationship. A lot of the scripts -sandwiching, etc - sound cheesy but I know from experience it works. We also tried her format for a family meeting (also pretty darn cheesy) and have been shocked at how well the kids have responded.
This book is a must-read for any parents with middle schoolers. I found the book informative, practical, and will likely be used as a reference guide during my child's transformative years.
Even though I'm utterly sick of parenting advice, this was useful. Perhaps the best thing to come out of it has been lots of porcupine jokes in our family.
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I learned a lot about what to say to teens, and how some positive statements could be seen as negative. I highly recommend this book.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is the parent of a middle schooler. I learned so much information.
Good reading for anyone with a moody, confounding, irrational tweener.
Charityjane
is currently reading it
so far i'm wondering where they hid the cameras in my house..
Useful information ~ good to refer to....
Very helpful with great tips on handling my tween
I reserve the right to change the star rating if these techniques don't work! But Ross did make me think about some of our conflicts in a different way, and I do think using some of her ideas could improve the household communication. And maybe limit the number of sibling fights, which has been skyrocketing lately.
But I don't see us having weekly family meetings. Does anyone else do that? Ross is a big proponent, but it sounds a little bit corny to me. I'm not sure I could even get m...more
But I don't see us having weekly family meetings. Does anyone else do that? Ross is a big proponent, but it sounds a little bit corny to me. I'm not sure I could even get m...more
I have a tween, well actually he is almost a teen. I maybe should have read this a year ago when he was 11. :)
This was a great book, giving useful and easy to apply tips for this interesting stage of parenthood.
I am more on the fearful end of being a parent, trying not to worry, etc.
I loved this quote: "When we're fearful, it can pay to ask ourselves, "Is it possible for something bad to happen, or is it probable that something bad will happen...more
This was a great book, giving useful and easy to apply tips for this interesting stage of parenthood.
I am more on the fearful end of being a parent, trying not to worry, etc.
I loved this quote: "When we're fearful, it can pay to ask ourselves, "Is it possible for something bad to happen, or is it probable that something bad will happen...more
Anyone with a tween needs to read this book. Not all that Ross talks about applies to my tween, however there were many interesting points that helped me to relate to my daughter's struggle with being understood. I think the best line in the book that applied to me was when it says, "don't try to be a tween they are better at it than you are." To me this means, "Steph, you are the grown-up, now act like it!" Enjoy. I got it from the Hyrum Library.
Okay, thank god for this book.
Easy read. Gave me some good ideas.
Very good advice on handling people with poison personalities without wounding yourself.
somewhat helpful...but it's going to be remembering the good advice during those difficult moments!
A very informative and helpful book. A helpful handbook if you have any "tweens".
When it comes to parenting, I’ve always got something to learn.
Carrie
marked it as to-read
Beth
is currently reading it
Emorogers
marked it as to-read
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