Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
REVISED AND WITH A NEW FOREWORD
ARE YOU GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT?
Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr.
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The reader was very dry, I had a hard time mentally focusing while he spoke. He wasn't the worst I'd heard but he was in the bottom 50%
Apparently the version I listened to had been updated to make it more palatable toward non-traditional relationships, they also removed a section that they discovered was actually...more
It is not a dreadful book and there are some good thoughts in it. However, as a sociologist, I have substantial issues with certain aspects of this book, of which I will outline three below.
First: the authors tend to use "global" terms li...more
What's frustrating? . . . the gender norms expressed in the book. All too often, examples suggest women are (overly) talkative and emotional...more
Interestingly enough, I heard a speech at my synago...more
I definitely see the benefit in the method of communication he proposes as an effective means to truly get to the intention of the other party.
Do opposites attract? My jury is still out on that one, but if that is, in fact, the case, its fascina...more
Hendrix and I have preaching and church ministry as a young adult in common. I love this about him. What I don't love is that his psychology model is born of psychoanalytic and Freudian models. He believes that we marry unconsciously to heal the wounds that our early lives have inflicted upon us, and that good marriages heal those wounds.
I believe instead that we marry others who feel instinctively familiar, like family, to us. In both good and bad ways. And that is our own work, our i...more
Really, though, this book's relevance surprised me, cynic that I am about this kind of book. Harville Hendrix is heavy on the nuance and light on the cheese, and his descriptions of "fusers" and "isolaters" are incredibly useful. (I determined I'm switchy with a lean towards "fuser".) And the exersizes are pretty cool, too.
Kind of a lot of filler without a lot of straightforward explanation. I like the basic premises - and think it is all worthwhile information for self-exploration. I think the text before the excercises could have been half as long. I will still do the exercises with my b...more
After that int...more
The premise of this book is that we have "baggage" from our upbringing and from our parents' examples that we bring into our marriages. We unconsciously expect our spouses to heal us of that baggage. When that doesn't happen, our relationship deteriorates. We improve the situation by creating what Hendrix calls a "conscious marr...more
A big part of the original book was changed too. The need for the Container Exercise was reversed. It was designed to help couples deal with anger, but over time, it was observed that the anger was heightened. Emphasis was put on the Positive Flooding Exercise.
I didn't read the original, but I think the 20th Anniversary Edit...more
I gave it my best effort, really I did. But the love-seeking process described in this book struck me as so inherently selfish and self-serving as to leave me completely disinterested and...more
|API Reads: Where you at in the book?||8||7||Oct 29, 2013 09:05AM|
|API Reads: Ch. 11: Expressing anger as children - consequenc es||4||7||Oct 10, 2013 07:37PM|
|API Reads: Ch. 11: Anger in relationships||4||6||Oct 10, 2013 07:20PM|
|API Reads: Ch. 9: Understanding Your Partner's Inner World||4||4||Oct 06, 2013 05:30AM|
|API Reads: Ch 5: Partners awakening strong memories of childhood||7||7||Sep 26, 2013 09:18PM|
|API Reads: Ch 7: Creating your relationship vision||7||13||Sep 25, 2013 09:55AM|
|API Reads: Ch. 5: Denied negative traits projecting onto partner||14||8||Sep 24, 2013 09:12PM|