Hit by a Farm: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Barn

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Hit by a Farm: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Barn

by Catherine Friend (Goodreads Author)

3.76 of 5 stars 3.76 · rating details · 764 ratings · 147 reviews

Farms have fences. People have boundaries. Mine began crumbling the day I knelt behind a male sheep, reached between his legs, and squeezed his testicles. This took place one blustery November day when I joined other shepherd-wannabees for a class on the basics of raising sheep. I was there with my partner Melissa, the woman I'd lived with for twelve years, because we were...more

Paperback, 254 pages

Published March 28th 2006 by Da Capo Press (first published March 27th 2006)

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Lists with This Book

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver

All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot

Down on the Farm

5th out of 67 books — 118 voters

The River Cottage Year by Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

Farming Memoir

1st out of 19 books — 13 voters

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Community Reviews

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Feb 03, 2009 Yarrow rated it 4 of 5 stars

Very engaging, funny, well-written, but not particularly deep. i had a good time reading this book, but i don't think i learned anything from it. except that you can grow grapes in minnesota. i like the author's writing voice quite a bit--she has the sort of voice that leaves me feeling like she'd be an absolute hoot to have dinner with. I didn't sympathize with a lot of what she was going through, though---i chose my farm, full time, head-first! i'm more a "Melissa" in terms of the story, and w...more

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Feb 23, 2013 Catherine rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2013, food, mainstream-us, sustainability

There's much to recommend in Friend's Hit by a Farm - the endearing stories of the llamas who nanny flocks of sheep, for example, or the stories of baby goats playing tag. There's also a hefty dose of realism to the book. There's death a-plenty as the animals on the farm fall prey to coyotes, hawks, eagles, disease, and natural causes, and Friend spends one chapter discussing the fact that farming, even if you love it, is far from idyllic. That applies not just to the animals on the farm, but th...more

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Oct 27, 2012 Kate rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: armchair-farmer, biography, lgbt-concern, modern-girlie-pathos, nature-girl, oh-so-amusing

I'm on sort of a farm memoir jag these days, spurred on by my lifelong secret (and very platonic) love affair with sheep. This book describes the reality of going from urbanite to full-on farmer--in this case, shepherd. Catherine and her partner, Melissa, move from the Twin Cities to fifty acres in Minnesota and start, from scratch, with 50 sheep, a gazillion chickens, and a full acre of grapevines. I mean, the start from scratch. At the beginning of the story, their farmhouse isn't even built y...more

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Mar 15, 2011 Valeria Wicker rated it 5 of 5 stars

As an aspiring hobby farmer, I wanted to read this book to get an idea of the transition one makes when starting a life in agriculture. While I was expecting this memoir to cover the fish-out-of-water aspect of an author not raised in farming delving into cultivation and animal husbandry, I was surprised to find that it became in the second half a saga of loss and repair.

Starting a country homestead was Catherine's partner's dream and not her own. She was supportive of Melissa through the years,...more

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Jan 26, 2011 Melissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: homesteading, non-fiction

This book was a random book that popped up as a Amazon recommendation for me. Because I've taken a great interest in farming and homesteading lately, I thought it would be enjoyable to read an account from someone who has actually done what I want to do. Catherine Friend provided that in this memoir of her life when she moved out to the farm.

She and her partner Melissa, following one of Melissa's dreams, buy a farm and start putting up fences (literally and figuratively as the farm seems to be a...more This book was a random book that popped up as a Amazon recommendation for me. Because I've taken a great interest in farming and homesteading lately, I thought it would be enjoyable to read an account from someone who has actually done what I want to do. Catherine Friend provided that in this memoir of her life when she moved out to the farm.

She and her partner Melissa, following one of Melissa's dreams, buy a farm and start putting up fences (literally and figuratively as the farm seems to be a source of contention sometimes). Their goal is to raise meat sheep, meat chickens, and cold weather grapes. All of these are actually pretty large endeavors and soon the two find themselves with plenty of animals, and only an inkling of whats in store for them. Of course the main focus of this book, as told by the cover, is the sheep. While there are funny stories about both the grapes and the chickens, the majority of the novel dealt with the sheep.

Raising the sheep proved to be a lot tougher than first glance. From lambing to "bum lambs", sickness and deaths, the raising of sheep is not to be taken lightly. The author especially has a hard time the first time one of the lambs she's grown to love is sent to the slaughter. Luckily, they followed the rule about not naming them and didn't have to go through as much pain as a result. In addition to this wonderful group of sheep, the two also dabble with llamas, goats, ducks, geese, and egg producing chickens. I believe even a peacock is mentioned.

Throughout this the story is not only about the farm but about the relationship between the author and her partner Melissa. While I can't get the visions of the underwear drawer out of my head, it was easy to see the connection and the troubles of this relationship. While I would have liked a little more insight into Melissa's predicaments (as it seems the author was upset with her for no good reason until the therapy shed some light on what was going on) I understand that this is the author's memoir and what detail was added was probably more fitting and comfortable for her.

This is not a book for if you are wanting to learn how to farm, and it isn't advertised as such. What this is is a story of two people and how the farm changed their life. It is about their struggles and their triumphs. A very pleasant read.

Hit By A Farm
Copyright 2006
237 pages (less)

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Sep 18, 2009 Melissa Robinson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: glbt

Catherine Friend is perfectly content to be an author and writing instructor, living in a small town. Her long-time partner, Melissa, isn’t. Melissa dreams of farming, so Catherine gamely agrees and throws herself into their agricultural endeavors.

Quickly, Catherine discovers that she is being consumed by tending sheep, chickens and grapes and neglecting her writing. She begins to wonder if both she and Melissa can pursue their dreams, or if one must sacrifice their passions.

Friend’s memoir abou...more

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Jul 08, 2012 Cherylann rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: bonny

Shelves: memoirs, 2knitlitchicks-recommend

I normally listen to audiobooks as I travel back and forth to work. My commute isn't long (only 20 miles), but the drive can be tedious - especially when trapped behind farm equipment. The only genre I prefer to have the author narrate is memoir. Memoir also happens to be one of my favorite genres. So I was thrilled when Barb and Tracey reviewed and recommend this book on their podcast 2 Knit Lit Chicks. I was even more thrilled that Catherine Friend, the author, narrated this book. I began list...more

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Oct 29, 2012 Patty rated it 4 of 5 stars

This true story of the first four years of Catherine and her partner Melissa's adventures in setting up and learning to farm is warm, funny, poignant, and very heartfelt.

Catherine is a writer, Melissa has always wanted to own a farm. When the economy tanks and they find the perfect piece of land they purchase a farm together. The fact that they are lesbians is a fact and not the centerpiece of the story. The centerpiece would be the farm with its chickens, sheep, goats, dogs and even llama. They...more

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Apr 29, 2012 Karin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: borrowed-from-the-library, nonfiction, autobiography-memoir, farming, farm-animals, farmers, chickens, geese, ducks, sheep, lesbian, relationships, relationship-problems, writers, writing, favorites

Catherine Friend and her partner Melissa decided to follow Melissa’s dream of becoming a farmer, so they bought some land in Minnesota, built a home on it, put up some fencing, and bought their first lambs and chickens. In addition to the livestock, they also decided to grow grapes. Neither had much farming experience, although Melissa worked for the USDA for a time, and despite all of their research their learning curve was pretty steep their first couple of years. Melissa battled with constant...more Catherine Friend and her partner Melissa decided to follow Melissa’s dream of becoming a farmer, so they bought some land in Minnesota, built a home on it, put up some fencing, and bought their first lambs and chickens. In addition to the livestock, they also decided to grow grapes. Neither had much farming experience, although Melissa worked for the USDA for a time, and despite all of their research their learning curve was pretty steep their first couple of years. Melissa battled with constant headaches and Catherine – an author of children’s books – struggled to find time to write (and follow her own dream) and the two found themselves arguing most of the time. It took time and work, but eventually the women were able to save their relationship and create space for both of their dreams.

It must have taken some time for Catherine to be able to write about her farming experiences with humor instead of pain. While there are plenty of laugh out loud moments in this memoir, there are also times when she didn’t think she’d be able to go on. She definitely developed an aversion to poultry after Melissa adopted geese and then ducks on top of their chickens. Funny and down to earth, but also realistic. Really enjoyed this.

Excerpts:
“In Real-Farm, the author and her husband moved out into the country, and while they also did not have livestock, they struggled with an old well, a windmill, and for some unknown reason, bought geese. Then halfway through the book, the husband just disappeared. The author discreetly referred to her divorce, then kept on about the farm, and how living in the country had changed her perceptions of everything. I wasn’t expecting a Jenny Jones/Jerry Springer sort of confession, but couldn’t she have at least given me a few details?…What had gone wrong?

“I imagined the author and her husband must have fought over their geese. Perhaps he cried, ‘It’s me or the geese,’ and suddenly found himself renting a one-bedroom apartment in the city. Geese were definitely bad news. I wondered if any relationship could survive geese.” (pp. 181-182)(less)

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May 25, 2009 Stefanie rated it 5 of 5 stars

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's the light, funny, and sometimes poignant story of the author and her partner buying a farm and learning how to manage a flock of sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, geese, dogs, and the small vineyard they're attempting to grow in Minnesota.

The book is fun on its own, but reading it was an intensely personal experience for me. Why? Because I grew up on a small farm in Upstate NY, where we had a flock of sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, geese, dogs, and a very small...more I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's the light, funny, and sometimes poignant story of the author and her partner buying a farm and learning how to manage a flock of sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, geese, dogs, and the small vineyard they're attempting to grow in Minnesota.

The book is fun on its own, but reading it was an intensely personal experience for me. Why? Because I grew up on a small farm in Upstate NY, where we had a flock of sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, geese, dogs, and a very small collection of grape vines and fruit trees. The author's stories of lambing in the spring, of helping the animals suffer through freezing-cold winters, of the crazy pace of something always going on - and usually going wrong - all sounded so familiar. I chuckled many times, and even teared up at a few points, remembering so many similar stories from our farm.

But what was most interesting to me was the emotional journey the author faced, as creating the farm was really her partner's dream and she dealt with the challenges of being completely consumed (and sometimes subsumed) with helping bring that other person's dream to life. That rang very true, as well, since our farm had always been my Dad's lifelong dream, not my Mom's, but my Mom was very supportive and ended up doing yeoman's work in keeping it running for 20 years. They used to say that the farm was my Dad's hobby, but my Mom's full-time job, and that was very true for a long time. Reading Catherine Friend's stories, it made me wonder how much my Mom ever resented the lifestyle she fell into, and it gave me a new perspective on why she made some of the choices she made while we were growing up (like going back to school and then back to work when she didn't "need" to).

I'm sending this book to my parents and I hope they'll both read it, though I know they'll each get very different things out of it. I think Dad will laugh at all the crazy memories, like I did, but I expect Mom will enjoy reading about the emotional struggles of a kindred spirit on the farm.(less)

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Jun 08, 2011 Carry rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

I devoured this book, from cover to cover in less than a day. I had no idea this book existed until a friend recommended that I read her newest one, Sheepish. This book is so similar to my life it's wonderful! The way the ended up in the farming life is slightly different, but even some of their personality quirks are similar. Bookworm falls in love with outdoorsy girl. They live happily together for 12 years, then they buy and start a farm. City girl has to quickly become farm girl.

Yes, I chos...more

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May 11, 2011 Merredith rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: farmers, people who watch where their food is coming from, people in relationships

Shelves: lesbian, memoirs-biographies

This is a memoir about a bookworm/writer woman who was citified who decides to start a farm with her wife, because it's her wife's dream. Yup, a whole sheep farm with extra animals & grapes too, all while struggling to not lose herself or her own dream of being a writer. That's so ambitious, and to do it just for the one you love is so dedicated! Well, they said they were going to do it, they researched a little, and just dug in. There were definitely stumbling blocks, but still. I didn't th...more

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Feb 12, 2011 Vicki rated it 4 of 5 stars

Chuckled my way through this and related to her farming experience. We've started a small urban farm in our backyard with chickens and goats. Over the years with all the many animals we've shared our lives with, I have felt the same emotions the author detailed in this book. I appreciated her wry and twisted sense of humor about common events on a farm. Reading about the sheep, llamas, goats, cats and dogs - all of that was a treasure for me. I like nothing better sometimes than to go out and co...more

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Feb 19, 2009 Erin rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

I had SOOO much fun with this book that I devoured it in under 48 hours! It's absolutely hilarious, and such an insight into the world of farming for a suburbs girl who's never had anything to do with agriculture. On one hand, I learned way more about sheep placentas than I EVER wanted to know, and on the other hand, I'm really glad I'm no longer quite so ignorant on the subject. I bow down to all the farmers in the world for being crazy/stubborn/strong/brave enough to do it. I doubt I ever coul...more

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Oct 08, 2012 Brit rated it 4 of 5 stars

Being a shepherdess, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. It was comforting and humorous to read about other new shepherds making new shepherd mistakes. The part of the book that dealt with the author's relationship with her partner seemed to me to be beside the point, at least in the beginning. By the end of the book, though, I thought it was an interesting and important part that helped to tie the whole story together. Instead of just being a book about farming anecdotes, it was a book abou...more

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Jun 03, 2012 Tracie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

This is a book I would never have even picked up if the audio publisher hadn't sent it for us to review on our podcast. I'm so glad they did, because I loved it! Catherine Friend does a great job narrating her own story of how she learned to be a farmer to support her partner's dream. I loved hearing about all their animals and the love they developed for them, and my heart broke along with theirs when they lost various members of their farm family. Friend doesn't sugarcoat things - she's upfron...more

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Jan 11, 2012 Tara Choate rated it 5 of 5 stars

After reading "Sheepish" I really wanted to read more by Friend. Got this book and sat down to read it during a couple extra minutes that I didn't want to waste trying to find my other book. Ended up reading it in one sitting... almost literally. I was home ill and just kept reading and reading until it was done.

Superlative quality and humor. I did like that there was more about her relationship with her partner in the book than in "Sheepish." But it's amazing she find a completely new store of...more

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Aug 14, 2011 Michelle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, memoir, animals, food

I always love Catherine's sense of humor, it's not unlike a conversation with a good friend. This book was not as good as her others, but then, it was written first and feels a bit more raw by comparison. I really liked following this with Sheepish though, which takes place quite a bit in the future, I recommend reading her books all together, as it's a interesting peek into someone's life.

I would say this book is more about her relationship than farming, despite the fact that it focuses on the...more

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Sep 01, 2012 Meg Johnson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Catherine Friend tells a great story. In addition to telling the story of the ups and downs of establishing a small sheep-farming operation, this book offers some good insights about relationships and boundaries (physical and personal). City-dwellers (and suburbanites as well) will get a few reminders about where your food comes from. It is not as "sweet" as Sheepish; that book was written after Friend and her partner had worked through the hardest part of getting the farm going, and so has an o...more

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May 26, 2012 Barbara Kluver rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, autobiography-memoir, non-fiction

Come along on a self-discovery journey with a woman who fancies herself a city gal...but ends up starting a sheep farm with her partner. This book is full of humor, insights and a lot of interesting bits about life on a sheep farm...especially for those of us who know very little of this life.

I listened to the audio version, read by the author. She does an excellent job of reading her book. Her Minnesota accent is delightful, adding to the enjoyment of the story. I look forward to reading more...more

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Jul 26, 2011 Amanda Lueck rated it 4 of 5 stars

I love Catherine Friend! This was an excellent book, better organized as a memoir than _Sheepish_, but just as true, funny, and emotional (in a good way). I didn't realize how much of Friend's writing and need for it would figure in the book, but it is very much also a book about a writer finding her feet through a period of growth, as well as a relationship finding its way through a period of growth, as well. I would highly recommend this to anyone who has a thing for writing, farms, relationsh...more

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Feb 28, 2013 Brenda rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was both informative and entertaining. It is simultaneously a story about a relationship facing challenges and the difficulty/reality of farming. It was also about the choices one makes in life and learning to accept them, live with them and even enjoy them. I think the author's honesty was heroic. There are a lot of difficult times shared in the book, yet the story is told with humor and is entertaining. I really enjoyed the insight into what it's like to raise chickens, lambs, and ev...more

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Jul 24, 2012 Bev is currently reading it

Shelves: kindle-2012, in-reno

About halfway through and I'm giving it a rest for now. I got angry during the chapter where she tries to justify slaughtering these smart, loving, playful, joyful animals. Why??? So unnecessary. You can see that she KNOWS they have feelings and intelligence but she goes on with it anyway. Sigh. I know it's a FARM...but I want her to repent and move forward with NOT slaughtering the animals and instead harvest eggs and wool. I'm hopeful that the slaughtering narrative will go away and I can sett...more

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Jan 23, 2013 Marilyn rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, own

I bought this book based on the cover and the title. Growing up on a very diversified [read: a bit of evrrything and not much of anything] Minnesota farm, I was confident there would be something I could relate to, and I am always curious how/why non-fatm folks have the guts to tackle farming for themselves,

Not far into the book, I realized the author is my acquaintance Irene's daughter. {Irene and I worked together to start the Eau Claire Women's Network in the '80s.] This tie, together with th...more

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Jun 12, 2012 Debbie rated it 5 of 5 stars

This author has a very unique approach to farming; it was not her first (or second, or even in her top ten) choice of lifestyles, but went into it to help fulfil her partner's life dream. And because of that, some parts of the book are a little dark (especially the chapter named "Nature's Sentimental Journey"). Yikes!
But her writing style is normally upbeat and funny, making this an enjoyable book about farming AND relationships; and not losing yourself in a threesome (the author, her partner, a...more

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Dec 10, 2012 Vanessa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Hit by a Farm sucked me in from the moment I picked it up, and I ended up reading it in one weekend. It is a fast, amusing read, but it also made me think. The book is a memoir about a lesbian couple who decide to move to the country and start a farm. This has been one woman's dream. The other woman (the author) dreams of becoming a successful writer, but wants to support her partner, so she agrees to the plan. The book is full of funny anecdotes on getting a farm up and running and all the thin...more

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Feb 05, 2013 Laura Lough rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

What I didn't love about this book: I was a little disappointed by how much the author whines about life on the farm. I understand that this is the story about how she *learned* to love the barn, which means that at first she didn't like it very much, but a lot of her complaints seemed silly to me and so I had a hard time feeling a connection with the writer. I am much more like her partner (in fact, I convinced my own spouse to buy a farm and totally change our lives) and so I had a hard time u...more What I didn't love about this book: I was a little disappointed by how much the author whines about life on the farm. I understand that this is the story about how she *learned* to love the barn, which means that at first she didn't like it very much, but a lot of her complaints seemed silly to me and so I had a hard time feeling a connection with the writer. I am much more like her partner (in fact, I convinced my own spouse to buy a farm and totally change our lives) and so I had a hard time understanding the authors point of view especially when it came to conflict in their relationship. I feel like I'd get along great with her partner, though!

What I did love about this book: so many of the stories she tells are absolutely spot on. I love the story about her roosters and their different styles of courting. I have had very similar thoughts watching our fellas out in the yard with their hens. In fact, some of her stories read so "real" that I had a negative reaction to them-- I'm not ready to laugh about them just yet! For example, the stories about chasing sheep around and around in a stall until you give up and realize a sheep has outwitted you. I think those stories would be funny to either people who haven't actually done that before, or those who have a bit more time between reading the story and experiencing the embarrassment and frustration of it! Many of the bits of advice she was given by experienced farmers, farming books or workshops are the exact same ones I've been given. It was very interesting and comforting to hear how similar our experiences were, both good and bad. For someone who is thinking of starting a farm, many of her stories provide accurate insight into what its like.

In summary, I loved the stories about life on the farm and the challenges and rewards inherent to farming. I did not particularly care for the author's personal journey, though that is likely because I am a very different personality type than her and had a hard time empathizing. (less)

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Aug 11, 2011 Jeff Rosendahl rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: farming

Enjoyed the book quite a bit. Story of 2 lesbians who leave the city for a sheep farm. One of the ladies would rather read and write than have anything to do with sheep and this is a dream come true for the other. Aside from some very funny bits that are hugely entertaining, the story is also very interesting when it details how this farm has changed their relationship, their individual health, their careers, etc. It certainly isn't a topic you see everyday, and that's part of what made this boo...more

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Apr 07, 2012 Sara Schertz rated it 3 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this book. I stumbled on it accidentally after reading the author's novel "The Spanish Pearl." The title caught my eye because I recently read "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver, so I guess I was in the mood for books about people jumping into farming. That this one featured a lesbian couple in a long-term relationship made it even more interesting.

This book was pretty different from the Kingsolver book though. That one was more of a how to, and in some ways roma...more

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Jan 27, 2010 Elizabeth rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: farming-homesteading, nonfiction, biographical

This book was an onslaught of whining.

It was, essentially, an incessant refrain of "I don't like doing this, why am I doing this? I should leave, but I'm too chicken to leave. This is making me unhappy. I hate this. I'm going to keep doing it anyway."

There were interesting facts about raising sheep and their various quirks, as well as a handful of other animals, which made it readable.

The author was clearly a fish out of water throughout the whole book, going along with her partner's "dream" o...more This book was an onslaught of whining.

It was, essentially, an incessant refrain of "I don't like doing this, why am I doing this? I should leave, but I'm too chicken to leave. This is making me unhappy. I hate this. I'm going to keep doing it anyway."

There were interesting facts about raising sheep and their various quirks, as well as a handful of other animals, which made it readable.

The author was clearly a fish out of water throughout the whole book, going along with her partner's "dream" of owning a farm, reluctant to follow her own desires for fear of trampling those of her partner. Eventually the two women struck a balance, but not until much later than I would have preferred.

Oh, and yes, I noticed that the author and her partner were two women in a romantic relationship. There is no need to point out the fact that you are a lesbian every couple of chapters, Ms. Friend. It's really not a big deal. I got a bit tired of this routine - I'd just be getting interested in the story, the two women would have gone through something particularly dramatic and I would be feeling a bit sympathetic for the both of them, and then the chapter would end with something like, "Then, exhausted, we went to bed...together. In the same bed... because we're lesbians." Yep, I got it, and I don't understand why you're reminding me, because it just doesn't seem that crucial to the story.

Mostly, though, I could not get over the constant complaining. I nearly didn't finish the book due to that irritation. Perhaps I was inspired by the author, struggling on, insisting on continuing to do something I clearly wasn't enjoying, just like her. At least reading a book I didn't like wasn't equivalent to embracing a lifestyle utterly in conflict with my nature... also, I didn't grouse about it once, that is, until I wrote this review (which is more than I can say for Ms. Friend).

There are many, many superior books on amateur farming out there (perhaps even the ones by Noel Perrin), books that are funnier and with more endearing protagonists. I suggest you read those instead.(less)

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About Catherine Friend

Catherine Friend had what she calls a "boring" childhood, but she says that boring was just fine -- because it gave her more time to read. She read so much her parents had to set a "no-reading-at-the dinner-table" rule. She was slightly shy as a child, but enjoyed playing Beauty Parlor with her sister, taking family trips, and watching STAR TREK and TIME TUNNEL.

She studied Economics, but because...more

More about Catherine Friend...

Books by Catherine Friend

Sheepish: Two Women, Fifty Sheep, and Enough Wool to Save the Planet

Compassionate Carnivore: Or, How to Keep Animals Happy, Save Old Macdonald's Farm, Reduce Your Hoofprint, and Still Eat Meat

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