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My Father and Myself
When his father died, J. R. Ackerley was shocked to discover that he had led a secret life. And after Ackerley himself died, he left a surprise of his own—this coolly considered, unsparingly honest account of his quest to find out the whole truth about the man who had always eluded him in life. But Ackerley's pursuit of his father is also an exploration of the self, making...more
Paperback, 280 pages
Published
September 30th 1999
by New York Review Books
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It must have seemed to me at the time that life was once again making upon me one of those monstrous and unfair demands with which I could not cope, that I was being put to another unwelcome test.
But how could a company commander abandon his command on the very eve of battle? That would have been seen as plain cowardice, and cowardice should never be plain.
Psychology, I believe, has abandoned a theory it once held that bed-wetting is a kind of unconscious revenge mechanis...more
But how could a company commander abandon his command on the very eve of battle? That would have been seen as plain cowardice, and cowardice should never be plain.
Psychology, I believe, has abandoned a theory it once held that bed-wetting is a kind of unconscious revenge mechanis...more
This is one of the best books I've ever read. I've only just finished reading it for the second time. I'm still in shock and awe. Such a story. Such a candid and engaging chronicle of one man's life and also the life of his father.
Ackerley was a pioneer of "gay" literature. This is his masterpiece (without question). A more open and honest depiction of a gay man's sexual life (his likes and dislikes, his promiscuity, sexual incontinence, and his endless search for "th...more
Ackerley was a pioneer of "gay" literature. This is his masterpiece (without question). A more open and honest depiction of a gay man's sexual life (his likes and dislikes, his promiscuity, sexual incontinence, and his endless search for "th...more
This beautifully written memoir by the former literary editor of the BBC magazine was published in 1968, with an intro by W.H. Auden, but mostly written 20 or more years earlier. Ackerley depicts his homosexual feelings and experiences in a manner which was fairly shocking for its time. He also tries to understand his relationship with his father (as well as his mother, siblings, and other family members) during a time when family members were not terribly open with each other - sometimes they...more
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Becca
rated it
Recommends it for:
dog lovers, Brit lovers
Recommended to Becca by:
Francine Prose!, books about writing
The first time I heard about J.R. Ackerley was in Francine Prose's The Blue Angel, which I read in my mid-teens, because the narrator sought out particularly perverted literature, namely Ackerley's My Dog Tulip, which is about his (real, hand to God) affair with his gorgeous, sexy German effing Shepherd. I thought this book was entirely the invention of Prose's sick mind--untrue, it turns out! Thus, J.R. Ackerley's name has remained burned in the "Wrong" file of my mind, and the first ...more
very appropriate title, stays focussed on the topic yet reads like a victorian mystery. lots of sex and intrigue. a perspective on early twentieth century London you will not find anywhere else. Ackerley is a skilled writer who can evoke the frustration he feels through a simple paragraph. he is honest and forthcoming and easy to relate to. it's strange how little the world has changed in 100 years.
This is one of the early entries in the New York Review of Books series (many of which I own; I am usually sucked in by the design, and they pick interesting ones). J.R. Ackerley, once literary editor of BBC's The Listener magazine, discovers his father had a secret mistress/second family, that his (J.R.'s) parents hadn't been married until he (J.R.) was 13, and that his father, in his younger years, may have had a gay relationship with a wealthy Count. All this while telling the tale of his o...more
This is a wonderfully readable and fascinating memoir, and gives one slant into male homosexuality. Unfortunately my copy from the public library does not include the Auden introduction. So far the Stanford Book Salon has given nothing beyond Prof. Terry Castle's questions. About which I have little to say, alas.
Wowzers! The reason this book is so shocking is mostly because of when it was written and the times it describes more than what is actually in the book. Ackerley is unflinching in his descriptions of his life with his father---it certainly is a "warts and all" sort of book-
My advice---ignore the introduction by Auden---what he says is a pseudo-psychological spiel that I have problems with because it seems to indicate that gays cannot have real relationships and also bec...more
My advice---ignore the introduction by Auden---what he says is a pseudo-psychological spiel that I have problems with because it seems to indicate that gays cannot have real relationships and also bec...more
Ackerley writes well, digresses well, summarizes well, jokes well, and well, well, well.
the love i wound up having for this book really took me by surprise. i dont know what i was expecting, but what i was rewarded with was a bizarrely moving, inventively structured, shockingly candid memoir about fatherhood, sonhood, history, and, um, sex. the prose style is really lucid but also quite piercing. it's witty. it's rather dark at times, especially for the period in which it was written. i now have an urge to go out and read everything else Ackerley's written.
A fascinating travel into years that were 'absolutely modern' and yet, with that flavour of things gone by. A story of love and hate, about 'hating' your parents, just when you realize you are what 'they' are, too.
juicy
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