The Hell You Say (Adrien English Mysteries #3)

I assured him all was cool, although I couldn't help wondering: If God works in mysterious ways, why shouldn't the Devil seek temporary employment in a mystery bookstore?

I assured him all was cool, although I couldn't help wondering: If God works in mysterious ways, why shouldn't the Devil seek temporary employment in a mystery bookstore?

(…)and hauled me outside, where I had an up close and personal view of what appeared to be a pentagram drawn in blood on my threshold.





If you want to peruse the dark side then read this story. The Hell You Say is not uber creepy but it has its thrilling moments that will make your spine tingle, that's for sure. There is plenty of talk about the occult and Satanism, candle magic, Wiccan etc. Funny thing is, even though the story has a kinda disturbing feel to it I've had to laugh a lot. Believe me it was so much fun! In addition, the cast of secondary characters is vivid and well-developed. You can’t help but love the interaction between Adrien and his somewhat over-protective as well as overbearing mother, Lisa. As always, Lanyon's writing is excellent, smooth, intelligent, witty and very engaging. The plot/mystery is well thought out and will keep you turning the pages. Add in the fact that Adrien is at his snarky best and you have another Lanyon winner.

"Sure. Tell him Sarah Good called. He knows the number."
(…)
Sarah Good. One of the first of the Salem witches to be hanged. Cute.
Well, on the bright side, at least the kids were getting some history at school.

"He's a powerful Duke of Hell who commands twenty-six legions. He appears as a beautiful noblewoman riding a great camel. It is his office to tell of all things past, present, and future."
My demon was a camel-riding transvestite? The Devil Wears Prada, indeed.

“So, this demon’s seal at a grave site would indicate what? Human sacrifice in exchange for treasure and sexual favors? It sounded like a frat boy’s dream come true.

Jake can try... Try and try... Something will always betray his "I'm not gay" fake life

"Immediately following lunch, he had what he described as 'a nicotine fit.' When he recovered, I slipped out for a Starbucks and a quick nervous breakdown."

"He had been born in Seattle. Wasn't that a well-known haven for Satanists?" (Seriously, being from said city, I laughed a full minute at that.)

He's running late and get's a phone call. "A pause followed my greeting. Then, 'We're watching you,' whispered the voice on the other end.
'Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys?'"

"'I'm not involved in a serious monogamous relationship.'
I was, but it was apparently a solo effort."

He described succinctly why I come across as asocial: "I don't like crowds. I like reading."

He described a building orgasm as "...pleasure knotting into hunger and passion and the need that always felt close to anxiety." That's totally true. It's not anxiety, but it feels a little like it sometimes. I never thought of it that way.

"I'd learned from my research that it wasn't only lonely, ignorant, insecure, or troubled kids who were lured in by the promises of charismatic cartoon-character-like evil. One point most of the experts stressed was that people don't join cults, they join interesting groups that seem able to satisfy desires and dreams. Members were recruited based on skills and abilities and the needs of the group. That's why it wasn't unusual to find doctors and lawyers and CEOs and movie stars involved in some of the more powerful and sophisticated cults. [Can you say Scientology?] Cult members rarely understood the hidden agenda of their leaders. Everyone has their vulnerabilities. Cult recruiters knew exactly how to exploit them."

"Nor was [Aleister Crowley] a true Satanist, although many of his ideas and writings were used as a foundation for traditional--theistic--Satanism."

"'It is the requirement of every religion, is it not? Is there any faith that does not demand spiritual commitment?'"

"'Shall I tell you what I think, what I have believed since the day you came to my home seeking answers? I think you are searching for that which is missing in your own life. I think that is what this quest to find an imaginary murderer is really about.'

'Inquiring minds want to know.'

He said gently, 'Always the joke, the flippant comment, the laughter that keeps the wall intact. But behind the wall, I sense a great emptiness, loss, loneliness ...'"

My mouth was unexpectedly dry. The tug of his personality, his certainty, his calm was overwhelming. My pulse sped up with a mix of anger and fear. (...)

His finger jabbed the air, punctuating his words. “Stay. Out. Of. It. Or this time, bad heart or not, I will throw your ass in jail.”

“No, you won’t,” I said. “You wouldn’t want to risk anyone discovering the connection between us.”

His face changed, grew ugly, dangerous. “Are you threatening me?”
I hadn’t been, but like an ember in dry grass, a self-destructive impulse flicked to life in my mind.

“My existence threatens you.”

He shoved me back, hard. I crashed into the hall table, knocking it over (...)



He bent over me. Probably safer to stay submissively on my back, but I got up fast, knocking his hands away. It was a protective instinct and maybe not a wise one. I hadn’t had time to inventory what, if any real damage, I’d sustained.

Weirdly, neither of us spoke. There was plenty to say, but no words. (...)