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101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged

3.94 of 5 stars 3.94  ·  rating details  ·  243 ratings  ·  24 reviews
"The Perfect Remedy for Cold Feet!"

More than half of all couples who become engaged this year will never make it to the altar. Why? Leading experts believe it's because couples fail to really get to know their potential mate before getting engaged. Relationship expert and noted couples counselor Norm Wright steers potential brides and grooms through a series of soul-search
Paperback, 131 pages
Published June 1st 2004 by Harvest House Publishers
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Nicole G.
I am nowhere near engaged at this point in my life. I'm not even dating anyone! However, I was curious to see what sort of questions were included in this book. And there are some good ones, very thought-provoking - some of which, I'm embarrassed to say, I never thought to ask in my previous relationships.

The book is written from a Christian point of view, so bear in mind that there will be some religious questions. However, not as many as I thought.
Feb 25, 2011 Zuzana rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: any Christian dating couple
Recommended to Zuzana by: Heather
A very good list of conversation starters for dating couples. For eHarmony people a number of these will have been covered before you even meet the person (and that's a good thing), but it's always good to think about important issues up front.
This book is popular in Christian circles but it isn't just for Christians and it is not just for those dating someone. After my last relationship I realized I didn't know myself well enough to commit to someone. I went through this book on my own to understand what I can give and need in a relationship.

I know before I get married this book will be essential when dating. I am thankful I can go through it before being committed to someone so that my answers aren't tainted in anyway.

I highly rec
This book is fantastic.
When my husband was courting me (yes I use the word court, because marriage was our goal from the day we met each other and we weren't able to date in the 'normal' sense) we went over this book of 101 questions to ask each other. Covering topics like

- How we were raised, our family dynamics, our expectations of family and marriage
- Former dating/marital/sexual relationships if there were any
- Our view of the church, Jesus, denomination, doctrine, other religions etc
- Expec
My wife and I read through this book as part of our pre-engagement counseling. This has to be one of the most challenging books to go through with a potential spouse because it really requires participation on both people to make this a beneficial process. The book is set up with a question (or group of questions) at the top fo the page with much blank space. At the bottom of the page is a summary to read after you have both discussed the question.

She and I wrote our answers to our questions on
Even though I'm not currently dating anyone, this book was extremely helpful. I will definitely be going through all the questions when I'm seriously dating someone. I loved that there were very practical questions ("what are your expectations and needs when you are sick?") as well as deep spiritual and emotional questions. I also liked that there were questions that encouraged vision casting and talking about future dreams and goals. Overall an excellent book.
Some of the questions did get repetitive but I believe it is essential for some of these questions to be re-worded and brought up again so that the answers get fleshed out fully by both parties.
Athena Deck
This book has a good number of great questions, but the set up for the book in the intro makes it sound like: You need an excuse to break up, let us help you find one. Anyone who struggles with being self-aware the least bit or putting their thoughts into words is going to get dumped by someone reading this book every time.
The ideas behind the questions are great, but I prefer something with more coaching and also one that stresses the importance of thinking about YOUR answers to the questions.
Genevieve West
These are great conversation starters, whether you've just met, are headed to the alter, cohabit, or are in a long-distance relationship. If you don't hate each other by the end of this book, I'd say go get yourselves some pre-engagement counseling, pop the question, and get yourselves hitched!

My husband and I learned more about each other during this book than in the three years of dating prior. We discovered that we did not agree 100%, but that we valued clarity over agreement and were able to
Scott Guillory
Great book to help in the process of getting to know your future spouse.
Interesting questions. Though I felt some were repetitive.
Eric Mikols
This is highly recommended, for those dating, engaged, or married. There's a lot of fun questions, a lot of serious questions, and plenty of "I never thought about that one!" Every page is a new questions (though some repeat themselves, and allow you and your partner to discuss the answers together. There's bits of advice at the bottom with suggestions and convictions. A lot of the discussion that comes from this book might not come from other places and being able to have them brought up to you ...more
Kzee Mikols
I loved this book! It brought up so many good questions for my fiance and I to talk about! My only issue with it was that some of the questions seemed repetitive. They would sometimes ask the same thing that had already asked just with another slightly different question attached to it. But besides that it was wonderful and eye-opening and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who thinks they might be getting engaged!
Mar 20, 2008 Shauna rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone wanting to get engaged or who is engaged.
Recommended to Shauna by: Dave
Very helpful and insightful. I recommend that you and your fiance/boyfriend/girlfriend each read this book before getting married. Another good thing to do is get your own copy (one for each of you) and answer the questions for yourself and then share your answers later.
A very quick read since the pages are mostly blank for one to include answers to each of the questions. A great read that provides some thought provoking questions.
The writing isn't great. But as a conversation starter, this book delivers. My girlfriend and I really enjoyed the discussions it generated.
Linda Manwaring
Wonderful practical questions. My fiancee (now husband) and I enjoyed learning more about each other with the questions in this book.
Norm Wright is a solid Christian counselor with keen insights regarding relationships. all of his books are worth the price.
the intro is a bit hokey, but I was impressed by the thoughtfulness/hidden complexity behind the questions.
Semper Fidelis
Good. Basically, it provides some thought provoking questions. Its worth reading !!!
Olive Chan
A helpful book for anyone in a serious relationship heading towards marriage.
Good questions, especially for the Christian.
Amanda Butler
I'm not that impressed. Sorry.
We both got a lot out of this & grew as a couple.
Bayan Algamdi
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