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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves

3.77  ·  Rating Details  ·  117 Ratings  ·  21 Reviews
In Raising Children Who Think for Themselves, physician Elisa Medhus argues that people are taught from childhood to govern themselves through external influences, such as peer groups and mass media, rather than through the inner voice of reason. Being externally directed creates problems for the child, the family, and society at large by encouraging selfishness, self-dece ...more
Hardcover, 291 pages
Published September 28th 2002 by MJF Books (first published May 10th 2001)
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Apr 18, 2012 L rated it liked it
In a large way, the advice in this book is the same as a certain chapter in Nurtureshock: praise a child's actions. I agree with that. I like that it logically follows that the child will become internally motivated and less influenced by external sources. But I didn't feel like any of this information was new. I suppose if I'd read this book before Nurtureshock I'd feel differently.

I had a few problems with the book:
1. Family activities involving the use of those ESP cards and activities to enc
May 08, 2008 Mary rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting
It is so hard to raise kids to think for themselves and trust their own judgement instead of our culture. This book is for anybody who is a parent, plans on being a parent, or who wonders why they let external factors or other people influence their decisions.
Lots of tips and specific phrases to use instead of the standard parent babble we all know and grew up with.
Sep 09, 2009 Sarah rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Despite not having any children of my own I felt this book had a lot to contribute. It revealed some interesting things about human interaction in general that anyone could benefit from. I will definitely pull it off the shelves again if I am ever raising children.
Tiffany Buckendahl
It's hard to be a parent these days. This book helps parents think deeply about what they want their children to become. It also offers behavioral strategies that are applicable to any age.
Apr 15, 2009 Alice rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A great handbook for ALL parents! A must read if you want to avoid common mistakes our parents made. I am really learning a lot from this one.
Jul 27, 2008 Catherine rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed this book and recommend it to help parents create an internal dialogue for their children.
Oct 09, 2008 Bridget rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was excellent. If only I implemented everything I learned in here, I'd be the perfect parent.
Apr 01, 2009 Heather rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A great book to keep for reference.
Aug 03, 2008 Denise rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
outstanding for parenting
Kathy Erskine
Jul 03, 2009 Kathy Erskine rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Yes, yes, yes!
Feb 19, 2009 Kristina rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents
Recommended to Kristina by: sister
Outstanding parenting book. Instead of raising children who are externally directed (by what other people think, by the media, by conforming to social peer pressures like drinking, smoking, drugs, etc), Dr. Medhus is an expert at showing you how to easily incorporate small changes that will revolutionize your parenting skills and create an environment that allows your child to blossom. A bit heavier than her later books, but still a classic that any parent MUST have on their shelves. This is rig ...more
Oct 20, 2011 Sheri rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Perhaps I just had really amazing parents, but I didn't find this book to be especially novel. Essentially the author cautions parents not to criticize and compare their children, but to instill strong morals/values and confidence in their children so that kids grow up knowing what is right and having the gumption to actually follow their conscience even in difficult situations.

The second half of this work is intended as reference for a broad range of situations, guiding parents to consider mot
May 09, 2015 Laura rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great information regarding brain development and change. Good techniques and advice for maintaining love and respect with your children.
Nov 16, 2014 Eliot rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
Useful book about the importance of helping kids develop internal direction and motivation. Also covers the negative side effects of good intentioned parenting such as helicoptering, dictating and ill conceived reward systems.

Plenty of actionable advice and "do's" and "don'ts" although, in my own experience, some of the tactics are not entirely easy to apply because of my ingrained habits as a parent. That said much of it is about the way you speak to your kids and it all makes sense - I would
Camille Kanofsky
Feb 28, 2013 Camille Kanofsky rated it really liked it
A little long winded, and like any parenting book, I am not on the wagon with everything. The middle and end have some very useful questions for starting cinversations with kids. there are also many useful examples in the back. These practical things are the nuggets in this book for me.
Honestly I did not finish this book. I did agree with some of it, but the author was really writing to traditional life style parents. I could not keep relating to her examples of school and what she assumed to be everyone's life.
Mar 26, 2011 NTE rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Made me really think about how I interact with the children in my life. Wrote about it on my blog , if you're interested.
Jul 23, 2013 Maryann rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I would recommend this book - it has some great advice!
Sep 26, 2007 Vjmaholtra rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Namanya juga belajar... punya anak...??? Aduh, pusing deh..
Cherise Crawford-Cotter
Every parent needs this one.
Oct 18, 2008 Linsey rated it liked it
I'm still trying.
Sonya Shearin
Sonya Shearin marked it as to-read
Jul 03, 2016
Charles Warner
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Jun 13, 2016
Ann rated it liked it
Jun 05, 2016
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May 30, 2016
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May 10, 2016
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Dr. Elisa Medhus is a family physician with over twenty years experience dealing with the issues that today’s families face. Although she retired from medicine to homeschool and be a full time mother to her children, she still has a large following of former patients who frequently call or drop by her home for medical advice, comfort or help. She has a gift for communicating with others, making th ...more
More about Elisa Medhus...

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