In His Sights: A True Story of Love and Obsession by Kate Brennan

Feb 03, 2009

Danielle rated it

Another very bizarre memoir that left me wondering about the author's motives (and my own in reading it). Basically, it's the story of a woman who's been stalked by an ex-boyfriend for 14 years.

The author claims to be using an alias because she's still afraid of her stalker, while promoting the book on NPR, and in the New York Times and several other rather high profile media outlets. Did she think he wouldn't hear about the book? He already knows who she is, how does it protect he...more

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Dec 02, 2008

Katherine Parker rated it

Recommended to Katherine Parker by: Jordan's goodreads

Shelves: monkey-business

The first part of this reads like a horror movie with a really pompous main character. I didn't care for her writing style, and the events she details make you keep thinking, "Oh! No - don't go in there, don't go in that dark room." Maybe just those of us who have had abusive, controlling boyfriends will think that, but jeez, you can see this dude coming a mile away. And then I wonder, how many Anne Bronte scholars are out there anyway? She isn't doing a very good job "hiding"...more

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Jan 28, 2010

Mia rated it

Another fake memoir waiting to be revealed.

It makes no sense that the author wrote the book under a pseudonym since Paul, her alleged stalker, knows her real name and she is currently living under an assumed identity. The pseudonym works better to protect her from a slander/defamation suit than to protect her from Paul, since he already knows her name AND she isn't using it any longer.

It makes no sense that with frequent break-ins at her home, she wouldn't use a nanny-ca...more

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Aug 23, 2008

Maria M. rated it

Recommends it for: everybody

Shelves: 5-stars, 2008, non-fiction, owned

Usually I sit right down to write the review after I've finished a book. I couldn't do that with In His Sights. The emotion of it was too raw and the implications too dire. I had to allow the book to 'sink in' somewhat, before putting my thoughts down on paper.

The book is subtitled "A True Story of Love and Obsession" and that line alone describes the entire book. Kate was a completely ordinary person until she started dating the millionaire Paul. In the bright lights of h...more

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Jan 18, 2009

Shelly rated it

Kate Brennan is an alias, a precaution made necessary by the fact that this book's author is the victim of stalking, and her stalker is still at large. The story is horrifyingly true, and knowing this makes her honesty all the more breathtaking. Brennan reaches back nearly two decades to the time when she first met Paul, the man who will later become her hunter. He seems so normal - superficially - but as the months and years go by the reader takes up a role normally played by the audience in...more

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Jan 29, 2012

Dominique rated it

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This is a supposedly true story of a woman, clearly from the Minneapolis/St. Paul area, who was stalked by a wealthy ex-boyfriend for years. It's written under a pseudonym because her stalker is still alive and she feels she is still in danger.

It's haunting, it's scary, and I was emotionally ripped about by page 200. I couldn't stop turning the pages, even though I knew that I would never, could never, be satisfied with any ending.

However, there are several puzzling elements ...moreThis is a supposedly true story of a woman, clearly from the Minneapolis/St. Paul area, who was stalked by a wealthy ex-boyfriend for years. It's written under a pseudonym because her stalker is still alive and she feels she is still in danger.

It's haunting, it's scary, and I was emotionally ripped about by page 200. I couldn't stop turning the pages, even though I knew that I would never, could never, be satisfied with any ending.

However, there are several puzzling elements to the book. Why the pseudonym? Her stalker clearly knows her name. He knows where she lives. I'm sympathetic to the narrator, but I just don't see what the need is for all the secrecy. Give the stalker a pseudonym if that helps for legal reasons, but what's the point of your own pseudonym? I'm also a bit puzzled at why the author didn't invest in a good surveillance system for at least one of the many homes she lived in to at least attempt documentation of someone breaking in to her home.

Stalking is an awful, scary crime. I have my own stories about stalkers as a result of my years in the domestic violence shelter business and whenever I think about some of the cases, I have to sit down and decompress. This book does an excellent job of recreating the stress, the fear, and the fear of insanity that comes along with being a victim of a stalker.

In the end, I guess I don't much care how much of the story is accurate, true, or embellished. I only care that if someone who is being stalked or someone who is involved in a dangerous relationship reads this book and it offers them some comfort or help, then book is an okay book in my mind.

Kate Brennan is a tad unlikeable, actually. She's a narcissistic academic and while I can relate to that, it is difficult to feel sympathy for her until pretty late in the game. Oh, your life of research in pretty libraries in Europe is so difficult. You poor thing. Oh, your paper was pretty much loved and adored at your conference? Your life is very difficult. Your childhood was tough? Oh, well, guess what? Life's not a bed of roses for everyone. By refusing to seek help, Brennan made the situation more unbearable than it had to be.

But. And this is a bit but. I get it. I get her. I see wanting to remain independent, being ashamed that you had been incredibly wrong in judging someone's character. I understand the decisions she's made and I think she writes a powerful tale. A tentative four out of five stars. (less)

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Jan 18, 2012

Dorothea rated it

...there are a lot of people on Goodreads whose reviews are all about how they don't believe the author and how if her situation were real, she would really be doing x, y, and z to solve it. These people remind me of the elementary-school students who enthusiastically derailed the lessons I used to teach about safety by reciting all of the events that occurred in the Home Alone movies. Nope, kids, if you're an ordinary person in a scary situation, you'll probably be confused and unable to make t...more

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Aug 28, 2009

Amber Kozlowski rated it

Recommends it for: Those interested in learning more about the experience of being stalked or interested in true crime.

Shelves: true-crime

Definitely disturbing enough that you don't want to read the book right before bed. Not only a story about experiencing having a stalker, but also a story of an abusive relationship. The story is mostly one of frustrating despair, but there are some happy outcomes in the author's personal life (thankfully!).

The author lets the reader into her psyche, even enough that the average reader will be horrified at the abusive relationship. Not only Paul's actions, but the author's willingnes...more

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May 14, 2009

Mazola1 rated it

Chilling and creepy, In His Sights, is a slow-at-first tale of stalking which picks up speed and becomes hard to put down by the end. Brennan's story might have been nothing more than a rather ordinary story of a woman who left a man after a relatively short but intense relationship, resulting in bitter feelings and petty vindictiveness on his part. But (and this is a huge but)the man Brennan left was a very wealthy, very determined and very disturbed psychopath, willing and able to invest lots ...more

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Dec 11, 2008

David rated it

chilling book. I found myself getting nervous if I read some of these scenes while in the house alone. Very thorough description of how author got involved with a guy who ends up stalking her [and still is at large]. Many of the elements are prototypical of these cases, from what I've read and what the author says as well. One distinguishing feature was that her stalker was extremely wealthy, so much so that he didn't have to work a regular job. Having free time and money greatly increased ...more

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Aug 07, 2008

Mae added it

This book is a creepy true story about a woman who is stalked. The woman is a freelance writer, writing under a pseudonym, in an unnamed city that is pretty obviously Minneapolis. Also there is an interesting interview with her today (July 31) in the New York times. Her writing has this strong emotional clarity that is really impressive.

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Jan 01, 2011

Booksdingle rated it

· review of another edition

I thought it was quite a good, readable, account giving some insight into the horror that is stalking, I expected more detail but it did focus well on how the author personally felt and how it affected her day to day life long after the intital fuss had died down. I feel for the author, if this account is true, as it shows how your life is never again your own, how you are always looking over your shoulder - it makes you question your own sanity and your own choices, and affects other peoples b...more

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Sep 02, 2010

Kelly rated it

Shelves: 2010

Two-thirds of the way into this book, I feel slightly annoyed and highly skeptical. First and foremost, the author's retelling of her story is completely and utterly devoid of any type of emotion - I sense no love for, or dependence on, the guy during the time she was with him; no feelings of insecurity or self-doubt that led her to stay with him for 3 years; and no sense of fear after she realized he was crazy, left him, and was subsequently stalked for many years afterward. If this all truly...moreTwo-thirds of the way into this book, I feel slightly annoyed and highly skeptical. First and foremost, the author's retelling of her story is completely and utterly devoid of any type of emotion - I sense no love for, or dependence on, the guy during the time she was with him; no feelings of insecurity or self-doubt that led her to stay with him for 3 years; and no sense of fear after she realized he was crazy, left him, and was subsequently stalked for many years afterward. If this all truly happened as she tells it, then where is the emotion, the fear? I don't feel anything whatsoever from the author in this regard, and I therefore feel no connection to her at all. Which, of course, makes it very hard to care.

Secondly, and maybe this is just a personal pet-peeve, but I can't stand the term "my stalker". The word "my" just seems to reinforce a connection with the guy, and it almost sounds as if the author feels flattered that someone would go so far as to follow her around and be so determined not to let her go.

There is one point in the book when she's in her bedroom and hears someone rattling at the door trying to get in. Then he goes around to the back door and tries again. She considers calling the police, but doesn't, because she says she's given up hope that anyone can protect her (nevermind the fact that he has caused her no bodily harm whatsoever thus far, hasn't done anything more than just the mildest annoyance). I am pretty certain that if someone were trying to break into my house in the middle of the night, I would damn well call the police! I mean, COME ON. The author does nothing more than contemplate jumping out her bedroom window onto the roof below, and then she gets back in bed, secure in the fact that the would-be intruder is gone once the rattling stops. This reeks of either stupidity or untruth.

I guess I'm just cynical, but it seems to me that this either a) never happened and is nothing but a money-making ploy, or b) is an attempt to gain attention and sympathy. The bio in the back of the book reads: "Kate Brennan is an alias used to protect the author's real identity. She has been a freelance writer (under her real name) for more than thirty years with a focus on women's issues. She has also taught English and women's studies at a number of colleges. Her stalker remains at large." This begs the question, WHY would she write and teach under her own name if she is so frightened of this guy finding her and doing her harm? Why conceal her identity with this book if she uses her real name elsewhere? I can understand not wanting to antagonize the guy, but honestly, if he happens to hear about or read this book, don't you think he will recognize himself? So what's the point? It just seems like a marketing ploy to me. Also, what does this mean, "Her stalker remains at large". Is he in hiding and on the run from the police? Or is he simply not bothering her anymore?

I could say much more, but I'll keep the rest of my negative opinions to myself! (less)

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Oct 27, 2011

Maggie rated it

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Nov 09, 2010

Rachel Zylstra rated it

I wasn't convinced. I don't know if the author is flattering herself into thinking this man is wasting all his time to make her feel 'watched', especially for so long. But then again, I would hate to think if I were in such a position that people would doubt me. It's a tricky subject. Everything just seems so mild. When I picked up the book I expected life threatenig stalking and lots of confrontation. But she never sees him again after the day she leaves him.
Could she just be super paran...more

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Jun 15, 2009

Chris rated it

Shelves: pretentious

First off the best thing that anyone could do is not be like the author. She made a lot of stupid moves and while she is not to blame ultimately for what happens to her, that's on the stalker, she does spend most of the book trying to convince us how smart and strong she is. She makes a lot of excuses.

Not only do I not really like the author(sorry, I just don't) but a lot of the book feels just too perfect for non-fiction. The discussions of Sleeping With The Enemy, the gift from ...more

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Dec 21, 2008

Rose rated it

My curiosity about this book was aroused after I heard Kate Brennan being interviewed on NPR. Listening to Brennan describe her ongoing harrassment at the hands of a wealthy psychopath, I felt that I needed to read her book and let it serve one of the purposes she intended: learn about warning signs from potential stalkers and kill the fires of obsession before they even start.

"In His Sights" has a storyline that races along at lightspeed. Brennan meets and moves in with a...more

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Oct 10, 2008

Abby marked it as to-read

Being stalked is scary.

My cat Romeo used to stalk me a lot when he was younger. He'd jump from the counter (or even the floor, as he got bigger) and land on my back. It was totally scary. You were always looking over your shoulder and getting spooked out when you heard a rustling noise or saw "the look" in his eyes. You also learned to instinctively hunch over the second he landed on you, so that he wouldn't slide down your back and leave scratch marks on his way down.
...moreBeing stalked is scary.

My cat Romeo used to stalk me a lot when he was younger. He'd jump from the counter (or even the floor, as he got bigger) and land on my back. It was totally scary. You were always looking over your shoulder and getting spooked out when you heard a rustling noise or saw "the look" in his eyes. You also learned to instinctively hunch over the second he landed on you, so that he wouldn't slide down your back and leave scratch marks on his way down.

This one time, I was in the shower shampooing my hair when a teenage Romeo hopped up on the rim of the bathtub and walked inside the shower curtain. He was standing there at the foot of the tub facing me, just out of reach of the shower water. Suddenly, he got "the look". I knew he was about to leap onto my back, but I was naked in a hot shower with shampoo in my hair! AAAH! I quickly leaned towards him and put my hands out in front of me, yelling "DON'T JUMP ROMEO!", but it was too late. He leapt over my shoulders and onto my back (which I had made possible by leaning forward).

There was a HUGE problem here, which might have already crossed your mind. Now that he's on my naked back, he is also right under a stream of hot shower water. With instincts like superwoman, I crouch over and turn the water off in two seconds flat. Now I am on all fours in my bathtub, with a freaked out soaked cat perched precariously on my back.

I can't just stand up and shake him to the ground without risking major slicing cuts down my back. His claws are already out and stabbing me in the back. I pulled the shower curtain open and tried to convince him to step off onto the rim of the tub, but he remained frozen on my back.

I stayed there for another minute, cold and shivering, on all fours in my bathtub. I still had shampoo in my hair, and a frozen scared cat clawed into my back. I tried to imagine how I would explain being late to work that day. "Umm, my cat held me hostage naked for a few hours. I was on all fours in the tub."

Finally, I had no other option but to just stand up and take the pain of a cat scratching down my back. It wasn't as bad as I had imagined, but it hurt putting my bra on that day.

I really think stalking is scary and painful.(less)

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Sep 21, 2008

Crossings rated it

Reading The Secrets of Storytelling : Why We Love a Good Yarn made me think about a of book I read recently. It is a "true story" so it does not fit the categorization of "yarn" the article concentrates on. However, it is a case of truth being stranger than fiction and therefore just as fascinating as the best yarn - though in the context of this book disturbing and terrifying would be far more apt than "fascinating". The true story in this book does what the articl...moreReading The Secrets of Storytelling : Why We Love a Good Yarn made me think about a of book I read recently. It is a "true story" so it does not fit the categorization of "yarn" the article concentrates on. However, it is a case of truth being stranger than fiction and therefore just as fascinating as the best yarn - though in the context of this book disturbing and terrifying would be far more apt than "fascinating". The true story in this book does what the article suggests yarns may do : "act as “flight simulators” for social life" albeit only for a certain aspect of it.

The book I mention, should be essential reading for any woman who is old enough to be in a relationship whether or not she is in one. In His Sights by Kate Brennan is "a true story of love and obsession", of an educated, confident and intelligent woman who is stalked by a former lover for over a decade with her stalker continuing to be large to this day. It is the story of one woman's relatively normal life spinning completely out of control because of one man.

She lets the reader into the mind of this man, his past, his many demons and what makes him do what he does to her. More importantly, she shows us how in intimate relationships that end very badly, there are many ominous signs that should serve as warning from the very beginning but the victim ignores their gut until its too late. Hindsight is almost always 20/20.

There is always the recurring theme of "If I had known or understood then what I do now, my life could have been completely different". There is remorse and regret for having missed the obvious indications, for not having the prescience to see what the future held. Then there is the part played by the victim in precipitating this situation, the one who is relentlessly stalked. Brennan traces the the long, torturous path that leads them to the perpetrator.

It is as if their life experiences work conspire against them in a way that will inevitably lead them to such dangerous and deviant men. She contends that women like her have grown up being subjected so much abuse and cruelty from men in their families (fathers and brothers mainly) that their thresholds for tolerating bad behavior from men (which in later life is primarily their lovers and husbands) is abnormally high. They don't realize that they are in an emotionally abusive and destructive relationship until it is too late and much damage has already been done. The first step to breaking the pattern is obviously to recognize it.

Brennan identifies her problem perfectly when she says :

The pattern is clear : I pick men who are attracted by my strength and who then try to wring it out of me.

She lists the characteristics of her stalker - red flags that any woman would ignore to her peril :

He was wooing fast and furious. He was unfaithful and ultimately did not bother to hide it. He used my past against me. He used cruelty to control me. He was so good at lying to himself, he lost track of what was real - if, that is, he ever knew.

She talks about the many things she has lost in life as a result of having been in this relationship in the context of her paranoia about being followed and watched:

Perhaps this has nothing to do with Paul. It's quite possible, but what I'm left with is always the same : he has bled the assumption of innocent coincidence right out of my life. His final gift to me is a life of not knowing, not ever knowing for sure.

It does not take a stalker to transform a woman's attitude towards her life and love permanently and irreversibly. She can never view things with the innocence she had before a bad relationship. She carries many deep emotional scars into the next and the next one and often there are many of them before she is able to find one she can safely sink anchor in.
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Oct 09, 2008

Emily rated it

ARG! I love/hate books like this: I cannot put them down because I am consumed by the story, but something about then makes me not love it. Such a dichotomy! Ok, honestly, I don’t know 100% what ‘dichotomy’ means, but it seems like it should be the right word (‘di’ = two, as in the two different feelings I have and ‘chotomy’=my feelings?? There, that’s my breakdown of the word. Take it or leave it.) It makes them difficult to rate with a simple 5 star ranking.

But seriously, I r...moreARG! I love/hate books like this: I cannot put them down because I am consumed by the story, but something about then makes me not love it. Such a dichotomy! Ok, honestly, I don’t know 100% what ‘dichotomy’ means, but it seems like it should be the right word (‘di’ = two, as in the two different feelings I have and ‘chotomy’=my feelings?? There, that’s my breakdown of the word. Take it or leave it.) It makes them difficult to rate with a simple 5 star ranking.

But seriously, I read this book PDQ. I was dying to know what would happen next. One morning I was reading about when someone was trying to break into her house. She heard a metal against metal sound. I was so involved that when I heard some metal sounds outside my bedroom that I almost fainted from fright! Turns out my cats were just playing ‘jungle kitty’ and Rocco was using the washing machine as a spring board to jump on Jupiter and tackle him. As punishment I only petted Rocco five times before I left for work, instead of the usual ten times.

But on the other side of the chotomy was that the author sort of a had a pitiful tone to her writing. Like this: Oh man, this guy was soooo mean to me and a jerk and my parent’s were alcoholics and oh poor me! I agree, the guy was (is?) a psycho liar jerk bucket! And holy crap, the patooties would be scared out of me if I was her. I’d also probably be a pitiful mess.

So, read it. And be thankful that no one “loves” you as much as this weirdo “loves” her.

----------------------------------------

My Experience With Stalking or Why I Did Not Get Married At BYU:

I went on a date with a guy. I think we probably met online. The date was weird and there was no spark whatsoever. Well, I thought there was no spark. I assumed that he felt no spark because he never called back. I can’t remember his name, so I’ll call him Filbert.

A few MONTHS later someone tapped on the window of my bedroom at about 2:30 in the morning. Since my room was right on the main walkway into the apartment complex, it wasn’t unusual for people to tap on my window as a ‘hello’. And my light was on, so it wasn’t super weird even though it was 2:30 am. I opened the blinds and there was a dude that I did not recognize standing in the bushes right outside my window (it was a first floor apartment). Yikes! So I cracked my window an inch (looking back, I have no idea why I did this instead of calling 911) and said, “Hello?” He said: “It’s me!” I said, “Oh, hi.” I still had no clue, but I didn’t want to be rude (again, why?) So I told him I couldn’t see him very well and didn’t have my glasses on. He told me it was him, Filbert! So I said, “Uh…hi, how ya been?” He went on to explain to me why he hadn’t called back: A few days after we went on our date he got accepted to medical school and then the semester ended and he had to move to Texas. But he had thought about me all those months and decided to drive all night to come and see me. I thanked him so much for the visit. I lowered my blinds. Then I ran like hell down the hall to make sure the front door was locked. I never heard from him again.
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Oct 28, 2009

Carol rated it

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Nov 28, 2008

Sunny Shore rated it

It took me so long to read this book and realize that I didn't like it. I felt like the author's writing voice was monotone. She said nothing different for many, many pages. I finally put it down with 50 pages to go. At first, I wondered why she was with this man originally, then I understood she remained with him because of her childhood with an alcoholic father. However, I couldn't see it and the book became more boring and uninteresting with each page read. I just didn't understand why she w...more

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Jul 07, 2010

Shari rated it

Shelves: memoirs

Although the Kate Brennan made me angry with her initial refusal to see what a bad relationship/situation she was in, I can't judge her too harshly because I don't know what I would have done if I was in her shoes. I did admire Kate Brennan's courage to seek help & end her horrible situation - I just wish she had done it sooner. But of course hindsight is always 20/20.
Well written story/memoir that held my interest until the end. I'd like to know what's happened since this book was publ...more

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Aug 08, 2011

Jo-Nell rated it

I'm very much on the fence about this book.
From my recollection, Kate never sees Paul again after the day she leaves him in his driveway. It just seemed odd that he put so much effort into stalking her, while she showed such little emotion. I kept waiting for some big payoff where she caught him doing something deviant, some sort of confrontation. But nope. Just moving around residences and coming home to open doors. Maybe that is my problem, I'm looking for the hollywood dramatics, ...more

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Nov 23, 2008

Jordan rated it

For a woman who is trying to keep her identity and location a secret to this man, she sure spent a lot of time detailing her habits and approximate location to Canada and bodies of water. I do not doubt that these things have happened to her but I am surprised by her level of broadcasting in the book and on NPR. If this man is as smart as she claims, her book reads as as taunt.

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Oct 06, 2011

Jann rated it

I was surprised how engrossed I was in the story. I have no reason not to believe it to be a true story as others in their reviews are stating disbelief. I feel for her and many others who are being stalked and cannot enjoy the simple things in life that others do each and every day.

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Dec 11, 2010

Steven rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: true, stories

A slow starter but once you get past the first 50 pages or so you can get quite into it. Personally I thought the ending was a bit of a damp squib but the thick of the book was well written and not awkward to read something I feared with the subject being covered.

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Oct 14, 2008

Deyna rated it

Recommended to Deyna by: Heard on Bob & Sheri

A chilling and frustrating tale of how one woman got in over her head and still can't get out. The author makes her living as an academic writer, and that shows through some in the too-clinical, too-dry text. The events themselves are completely believable, and the author makes no secret of the fact that she's worked with plenty of therapists to make sense of this man and her situation. During passages in which she analyzes his actions (and her own), she lets the reader in on her inner workin...more

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Sep 02, 2010

Laurie rated it

I always read books like this with the thought in the back of my head that I'm not crazy enough to get into a situation like this. Perhaps I've just been lucky and picked well. This story is a nightmare. I hope wherever she's ended up "Kate" has found some peace.

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Mar 29, 2011

Lynn rated it

Shelves: non-fiction-place

Woman meets mysterious man. Man mysterious throughout relationship and begins to turn possessive. Woman stays in relationship too long. Woman finally breaks up with man. Man stalks woman.

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