The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine
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The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine

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3.92 of 5 stars 3.92  ·  rating details  ·  3,924 ratings  ·  503 reviews
The author of When the Heart Waits takes the reader on her journey from traditional Christian wife and mother to a woman who argues for a feminine face of God as she travels the world looking for enlightenment.
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Published May 2nd 1996 by HarperOne (first published January 1st 1996)
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Jessica
I found Sue Monk Kidd’s books The Mermaid Chair and The Secret Life of Bees mesmerizing and poetic. They were the type of books that you don’t want to put down, but you don’t want to end, especially, The Secret Life of Bees. It was for this reason; I thought I would love all of SMK’s books. However, I was saddened when I read The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. In the beginning, I enjoyed the book and could definitely relate to a lot of her experiences as a woman in this society and as a Christ...more
Michelle
I'd like to rate this higher, because I think the topic is an important one, and the author really tries to make it accessible by telling her own story, but I had a hard time with a lot of it, and not because of the subject matter itself, but because of the way it was presented. In the introduction, Kidd says that every person who undertakes a journey to seek out the feminine divine will have her or his own unique experience, and that she only aims to tell her own individual story; but throughou...more
Kati
This book chronicles Sue Monk Kidd's journey from a Southern Baptist church to a spirituality focused on what she calls The Feminine Divine. She leaves Orthodox Christianity after coming face to face with the sexism in the church and, as she sees it, in the whole Christian religion. Kidd articulates a lot of feelings and questions I myself have had as I have explored what it means to be a woman in the Church. I do not think I come to the same conclusions she does or that I will follow in her pat...more
Caitlin
This book made me start doing what I might have once referred to as "hippie shit." Recently I was at a picnic that was being held at dusk at the lake, and I wondered away from the crowd and offered up a blessing to the Goddess. I blame/thank Sue Monk Kidd for this. Got to be unafraid to seek the divine in a way that fits and feels right.
Jen
On the day my daughter started Kindergarten, I had my first meeting with my spiritual director, which is mid-sabbatical for me. At the end of our meeting, she recommended this book and I drove directly to the Fuller bookstore and bought and sat in the cafe and read the prologue. And then I cried the whole drive home. This book will mess with you, especially if you are a woman who leads in the evangelical church. Read with care! I found this book to be the door into profound personal journey of f...more
Emily
Thank you Lord for helping me FINISH this book.

I, of course, wanted to read this because I've been such a fan of Sue Monk Kidd's earlier nonfiction. This was the last I hadn't read and her story of religious transformation from Christianity to what she calls a worship of "the Divine Feminine."

I can say that she is very expressive, well-researched author. She was extremely through, pulling in many different sources and, as her previous non-fiction books, she did a good job of weaving informative...more
Lia
My friend lent me this book for a day and I started to read it. I was amazed after only a few pages. The woman sounded like me. Like ME! So many of the thoughts and ideas she was presenting were familiar, even in the way she articulated them. When my friend returned to collect her book the next day, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought it. I finished reading it several days later with lots of marked up bits in the margins. It was like water on parched ground to read the true journey of a woman...more
Gina
Mar 12, 2008 Gina rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Any woman, especially young women
Recommended to Gina by: My good friend Chris
While I hadn't given the male slant in Christianity much thought of late, (I stopped attending a traditional protestant church in my early 20's & was now attending a liberal church), reading this book reminded me why I couldn't have been born in an earlier time.
It reminded me of the stifling, oppressing man from a former relationship. Had I read this book then, I may have had the courage to end the relationship sooner.
Looking to a feminine higher power isn't a negation of a male god, it ju...more
Sarah
I thought I would like this book better than I did. The first couple chapters were alright as I could relate to her somewhat but then I felt like she just started swallowing whole everything that she read and chucking her entire past out the window. I just couldn't track with her anymore.
Sarah Bringhurst
This book has been recommended to me multiple times, and I finally got around to reading it this Mother's Day.

It's definitely a book that needed to be written, and I gave it five stars because I don't know of another book that addresses this important subject as well as The Dance of the Dissident Daughter (If you do, please tell me, because I would love to read it). Kidd's description of her awakening to how male-centric her religion was really struck a chord with me. As a Mormon, I found it fas...more
Julia
This memoir set me on a course of searching out more books about feminism and religion. I really liked the way Kidd lets the reader into her inner world and describes her journey, but does not become too theoretical or abstract. She keeps it real by writing about concrete experiences with specific details.
Amanda
Part memoir, part feminist semi-Christian theology, this book is author Sue Monk Kidd's narrative of her personal struggle with rampant sexism in her longtime Christian faith, sprinkled with a hefty dose of psychoanalysis. I really enjoyed the personal narrative aspect of the book, and applaud Kidd for her bravery in speaking out against patriarchal oppression of women of faith. That said, the book was disappointing to me on several fronts. It relies heavily on a handful of scholarly resources....more
Robyn
Rarely do I not finish a book, but after reading (okay, reading may not be the exact word for what I did - "plowing through" would be more accurate) over three quarters of it, I finally put the book down for good.

I really wanted to add this one to my shelf of feminist essays, memoirs and non-fiction that I love because the subject is important, but this one just didn’t speak to me and here is why:

This is Monk Kidd’s telling of her feminist spiritual awakening (so far so good) and how she had to...more
Lara Torgesen
My sister sent me this book, and said she was reading it as well. I've read Sue Monk Kidd's "The Secret Life of Bees" and "The Mermaid Chair," but I had no idea that she was a Christian writer in a previous life. An incident that happened to her daughter in a drugstore led to a re-examination of Kidd's life within a patriarchal marriage, religion, and culture. She describes her spiritual journey leading to her discovery of the sacred feminine. It was an interesting book, and I found that I have...more
Kipahni
I remember the first time I didn't feel equal in a church. It may have been implicitly there all my life but the real in your face awakening happened when I went to a bible study in my early adult years. It was a "biblical truths" series contrasting what the bible says vs what the world says. The leader showed a clip of Carl's COSMOS series where he is saying something like " We are all made of star stuff, evolved over years...ect"
The leader stops the movie and says "Now I doubt any of you belie...more
Sheila
This book rocked my little world in 2004. Sue Monk Kidd had been my "spiritual mentor" for a number of years. We were both Southern Baptist, and deeply spiritual. She was a SB minister's wife; I was a SB minister's daughter. I could count on her books to "make my heart burn" with love for God. I had already entered a time of transformation--so much so that I had entered the Catholic Church two years before I read this book for the first time. But this book shattered my idealistic, still-remainin...more
Laurie
Best selling author (“The Secret Life of Bees”) Sue Monk Kidd was born into a conservative Christian family and married a conservative Christian minister. For years, she wrote inspirational Christian books. What, then, made her decide to step away from church teachings regarding the place of women and embark on a journey to find the sacred feminine?

Kidd had long been uncomfortable with how her gender was treated, both in society and in her church. Told repeatedly that woman was to serve man bec...more
Shelly
The following is what I wrote for the book club that had me reading The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. Beneath it, also in italics is an added paragraph..

I did finish the book but it was a hard slog to do it. I'd read a paragraph and by the end of it couldn't recall exactly what the first part of the paragraph was. I couldn't stop thinking how nice it was for her to be able to take all those trips, not only the more local retreats to her circle of trees but all over the country and abroad. I...more
Dnicebear
My friend, Tina, was reading another title by this author, and I looked for that book, but found this one instead. Wow. The story of this journey from Christian Tradition to Sacred Feminism casts a lot of light on my own journey from growing up in a tradition where we said 'no' to a lot of things and in a culture that upholds patriarchy to knowing and valuing my feminine side and gifts. I'm especially nurtured by Kidd's re-telling and working with the myth of the Minotaur and the labyrinth and a...more
Joyce
This was a fascinating book. My pastor loaned her copy to me, but I'm going to order my own if for no other reason than having the bibliography available! I also need to order some to give away to friends.

The books sub-title really says it in a nutshell. Sue Monk Kidd grew up in the Southern Baptist church, and married a SB minister. At some point, she became frustrated with the patriarchal assumptions that dominated the SBs and other mainline churches. She began exploring spirituality, with a f...more
Melinda

Read this book after finishing Secret Life of Bees for the second time. I love all the references to other books and articles. I read them while reading this... so it took me awhile. Fascinating!
This is the story of Monk-Kidd's personal struggle with her Christianity. I'd say it was a feminist critique of Christianity, but "feminist" is too culturally loaded, and "critique" sounds so academic as to be deadly. She looks at mythology -- and I include Christianity in this genre here -- from all ov...more
Laura Pina
Apr 28, 2010 Laura Pina rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Chauna
Some great quotes from the book:
“What she is dismantling is the woman who was once asleep in her relationships, her religion, her career, and her inner life, the woman who never questioned any of it but blindly followed prevailing ideas and dictates. She is the woman dependent on the masculine, whose life is composed of adaptable femininity. She is the woman severed from her own true instinct and creativity. She is the woman in collusion with patriarchy.” (113)

incongruity between my public image...more
Rachel
I believe that my experience in reading this self absorbed and uninterestingly written memoir was greatly lessened by the fact that, in beginning it, I already knew the things the author was talking about. I've read the ground breaking books (most of which are far better written than this one), I've heard the arguments. I've been to the caves in Crete, and while I had deeply spiritual experiences there that I later tried to write about, I flatter myself and say that at least I didn't devote a fe...more
Crystal
So I’ve wanted to read this book for a while – I was curious about Kidd’s journey from being a “traditional” Christian inspirational writer to that one who has “embraced” the Sacred Femine.
There is so much in the book that I can embrace and there is much that I cannot. It is her journey and her way of coping with her perceived injustice of patriarchy in the world of traditional Christianity. At times, she carries through with a feminist rant and at times, she transmits clear, resilient eternal...more
Carolyn Lind
This might be an interesting book for discussion. Reading some of the online reviews, it appears some readers conclude that the religious experience of Sue Monk Kidd can not be reconciled to Christian faith. Certainly she does reject the patriarchy that is associated with much current Christian belief & practice, but I am not convinced she is disassociating herself with the core beliefs. For instance, note the following quotation from page 188:
"I realized that despite everything, strains of...more
Jenne
Reading the Dance of the Dissident Daughter felt like walking up to a respected peer and asking, "What was it like for you?" I then proceeded to be deeply impressed and awed by her mastery of language, description and citation. Like Fiona Givens writer of The God Who Weeps, Sue Monk Kidd is well read and is adept and finding and inserting a powerful quote from across the spectrum of liturgy and traditions. Though I have walked my own spiral walk to discovery of my woman self, I learned from her...more
Laura Cavanaugh
I've had this book on my shelf for quite a while and never felt ready to read it until now. Somehow the idea of a "sacred Feminine" and "Goddess" language felt really outside of my comfort zone, knocking against my traditional, conservative upbringing. I worried that it would be too theologically "out there" for me to relate to, but I bought it anyway because I have loved another book of Kidd's, When the Heart Waits, so much.

Although my own journey has been different than Kidd's, I found so many...more
Mariah
A traditional Southern Baptist wife and mother, Sue Monk Kidd had never really questioned her role as a woman in the church or society as a whole. Yet a series of incidents led her to realize all was not right, and that she needed to look for spirituality outside of mainstream religious institutions. Whereas before she was taught that authority was only in the Bible, she came to see her own experiences as valid- that she was her own authority. I found the book to be an inspiring source of ideas...more
Liz Miller
This book helps me find a voice for the feelings I have that the traditional church treats women like servants. The church I grew up in was dependent on the women of the church to keep the pews full and the church suppers well attended, to run the tag sales and wash the altar linens. Women bring the children in to the church and teach the Sunday Schools.

When I was young women were not allowed to read the Gospel during the service or, heaven forbid, be a minister in that church. Many things have...more
Clickety
Mih. Kidd is very articulate, but I really don't identify much at all with what she's writing; my "feminine experience" has been very different from hers. In fact, my sympathies through the story were pretty much with her husband as he tries to figure out what's going on despite her lack of communication with him beyond "this is something I have to do." Pfft. Real helpful, that.

She goes off searching for understanding & accepts the experiences and ideas that resonate within her. That's great...more
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The Dance 7 50 Sep 11, 2012 03:54AM  
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SUE MONK KIDD was raised in the small town of Sylvester, Georgia. She graduated from Texas Christian University in 1970 and later took creative writing courses at Emory University and Anderson College, as well as studying at Sewanee, Bread Loaf, and other writers’ conferences. In her forties, Kidd turned her attention to writing fiction, winning the South Carolina Fellowship in Literature and the...more
More about Sue Monk Kidd...
The Secret Life of Bees The Invention of Wings The Mermaid Chair Traveling With Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions

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“The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed...The story itself becomes a vessel that holds us up, that sustains, that allows us to order our jumbled experiences into meaning.
As I told my stories of fear, awakening, struggle, and transformation and had them received, heard, and validated by other women, I found healing.
I also needed to hear other women's stories in order to see and embrace my own. Sometimes another woman's story becomes a mirror that shows me a self I haven't seen before. When I listen to her tell it, her experience quickens and clarifies my own. Her questions rouse mine. Her conflicts illumine my conflicts. Her resolutions call forth my hope. Her strengths summon my strengths. All of this can happen even when our stories and our lives are very different.”
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“The symbol of Goddess gives us permission. She teaches us to embrace the holiness of every natural, ordinary, sensual dying moment. Patriarchy may try to negate body and flee earth with its constant heartbeat of death, but Goddess forces us back to embrace them, to take our human life in our arms and clasp it for the divine life it is - the nice, sanitary, harmonious moment as well as the painful, dark, splintered ones.

If such a consciousness truly is set loose in the world, nothing will be the same. It will free us to be in a sacred body, on a sacred planet, in sacred communion with all of it. It will infect the universe with holiness. We will discover the Divine deep within the earth and the cells of our bodies, and we will lover her there with all our hearts and all our souls and all our minds.”
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