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I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison

3.69  ·  Rating Details ·  236 Ratings  ·  72 Reviews
Is comparison living hijacking your life?

Do you find yourself measuring your value against your friend’s house, body, marriage, resume, paycheck, organic garden, or Pinterest-worthy holiday décor, and coming up lacking? Do your college roommate’s Instagram snapshots bear little resemblance to the scene at your house this morning?

Excessive comparison and competition sap o
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Paperback, 240 pages
Published May 5th 2015 by WaterBrook
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Kelli
Aug 14, 2015 Kelli rated it liked it
Shelves: 2015-not-fiction
Comparison is the thief of joy- Theodore Roosevelt


I snatched this book from the library display based solely on the laugh-out-loud title and not realizing that it was a "blogger book." (I think I've coined this phrase myself but for all I know it is widely used). As I have found with other books by bloggers, this one, too, takes a topic that we all realize has a widespread social impact and uses quotes, stories and anecdotes to build a book out of a blog post. The focus is on our society's obse
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Paula Vince
The 'Obsessive Comparison Disorder' described in this book is the sort of trait we don't find socially acceptable to admit to, so it's interesting to come across books which deal with it. This one is more of a light, breezy read than a dense, heavy one, and I might have preferred something more in the middle. I didn't like the first half of this book, but loved the second.

At first, most of Kay Wyma's examples seemed to be focused on FWPs (first world problems). Empty car parks getting stolen, vi
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Robyn
Jan 03, 2016 Robyn rated it really liked it
Shelves: adult, nonfiction
First lines: My day hits an unexpected lull. All is quiet on the home front. And what's a person to do amid peace and quiet? Clean the house? Address and send envelopes containing Christmas cards from this and the past two years - before July? Get stuff done? No, of course not, p. 1.

On December 21st I went to the library mainly to get out of the house and into nature, even if nature was just from my car to another building. I walked my usual route once in the library. First hitting up the teen d
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Terzah
Jun 15, 2015 Terzah rated it it was ok
I didn't quite finish this one. I didn't really need to--it could have been a lot shorter and less repetitive. Mostly what I got out of it can be summed up in two sentences: "I'm not alone" and "Envy is never productive." I knew both of those things anyway. It was nice to have them reinforced, but that's about all I took away from this book.
Deborah Martinez
Jan 06, 2016 Deborah Martinez rated it liked it
As I often do, I was browsing the book shelves at the Ames Public Library, and this book caught my eye. I will be honest, comparison is something I struggle with, and always have. My life hasn't always been easy, and I have had to work for everything I have. Nothing has been handed to me, my college education was not paid for me by my parents, and I have often had two jobs just so I can do something fun such as a trip or purchase a new mattress that I needed after 12 years of sleeping on the old ...more
Callie
Apr 22, 2016 Callie rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-2016

I was excited when I saw a book available for review called "I'm Happy For You . . . Sort Of . . . Not Really" by Kay Willis Wyma. Don't you love that title? I'm not going to lie, I have secretly had those feelings in that exact order. Many times.

This book was so helpful to me in this struggle with comparison. As I was reading through it I was more aware of comparison than I normally am, and I realized just how much it affects my day-to-day happiness. When I am so focused on what everyone else i
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Mariejkt
Jun 18, 2015 Mariejkt rated it liked it
"I'm Happy For You Sort of...Not Really" by Kay Wills Wyma is about finding contentment in our world of comparison. I really wanted to really like this book a lot but it turned out to be an ok book. I was warn out just reading how often the author and her friends compared themselves to others. Yes we all compare ourselves to someone at sometime but the amount she writes about is just overwhelming. I am mean yes I do compare myself to others at times but then I try to remember we don't see their ...more
Jennifer
Aug 22, 2015 Jennifer rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, 2015
Comparison is pervasive and our default; compassion is contagious and a choice.

Also, I just really liked being reminded of these truths:

Caring about others is more important than caring about what others think. (65)
Our longing to fit in is only exceeded by our fear that we don't. (121)
You don't have to prove yourself or strive to be anyone other than who you are, because with true friends you belong just as you are. (127)
It feels so much better to set people up to be cheered than to be the one c
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Tawni
Mar 09, 2016 Tawni rated it it was amazing
This has got to be one of the most 'change the way I look at life' books I have read in a very long time. Wonderfully written. Makes you realize that some of the things you think aren't just you, but so many great ideas and reminders of how we can think differently. We are each in our own lane of life. Doesn't matter what the person in the lanes next to us are doing. We are not in a race of life where the winner takes all, we just all need to finish. God gave us unique personalities and traits ...more
Diana Montgomery
Dec 01, 2015 Diana Montgomery rated it it was amazing
I'm Happy for You (Sort Of... Not Really)

Great book!! Today trying to live a life and not worrying about anything is just not happening! Well to me it can! We have to learn to live a life in our own means and not worry about what the neighbor has. Trying to live a life to keep up with everyone else is just draining. We can live a life not trying to catch up or be like or better then the Jones. Through this book Kay shows ways her family did it. Great book get it I found it wonderful insight to e
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Alisa
Aug 21, 2015 Alisa rated it liked it
Shelves: couldn-t-finish
Couldn't finish this book. I really wanted to like it and was attracted to the message the author was voicing. I have to agree with another reviewer and say the repetitiveness and the randomness was getting to be a bit too much. This would be perfect as a blog to document but lost me halfway through.
KVB1
Jul 10, 2015 KVB1 rated it liked it
I really liked some of the concepts presented in this book, but I did not care for the writing style. I didn't find it to be very well-organized, the author seemed to jump from story to story.
Angela
Jun 15, 2015 Angela rated it did not like it
I thought this book was pretty predictable and didn't offer any new insights - pretty surface level unfortunately. Also, very parenting focused, so not as relevant to someone without kids.
Mckinley
Oct 28, 2016 Mckinley rated it it was ok
I was waiting for the religious component to kick-in. Was missing in the the first chapter. Eve is the example in the second chapter, but I didn't feel it was well work through. So it went. Lot of repetition and not much new; not much connect to religious perspective. A lot of examples are parent related.
Jaime
Nov 26, 2016 Jaime rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a great book for me to pick up now and again so I can remember to sit in contentedness rather than comparison. Thanks, Kay, for writing a book that touches and uplifts me.
Claudia {SparrowHawk}
description

I’m Happy for You {Sort Of. . .Not Really} is a book peppered with great insight and offers a unique approach on a subject most of us are frankly unaware we fall victim to. I have not read a book that touches on the theme of comparison and how destructive it truly can be so it kept me interested despite some quibbles.

If you do not mind a rude awakening or if perhaps you are looking to find some solace through a group of people who struggle with similar obstacles: finding contentment in a cultur
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Susan Barton
I really wanted to like this book. I was excited about the message: Being happy with who you are and what you have. Living in the moment. Don’t risk missing precious moments because you’re too busy wanting to be like someone else. In fact, one early quote really resonated with me: “Looking at what we lack prevents us from noticing how sweet the world already is. But when we shift our focus from what could be to what actually is, we find extraordinary joy in our ordinary lives.” What a lovely and ...more
kelsey
Nov 03, 2015 kelsey rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
I'm surprised no one has mentioned the amount of Christianity interwoven throughout the pages of this book - particularly towards the end! As an Atheist, I found it to be a bit hard to relate to when she went on off on Christian tangents, but luckily that wasn't the overall message (in my opinion). I think secular people can find wisdom in this book as well, and as I would hope Christians wouldn't pass up books just because they're secular, I shouldn't reject a book simply because it has some ...more
Sharee
Sep 19, 2015 Sharee rated it it was amazing
You had me at “Hello”…well actually at the title of the book. I’m Happy For You (Sort of…Not Really) by Kay Wills Wyma is AH-MAZE-ING!

In a world where comparison and competition are epidemic…where Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter announce to the world the worthiness of each individual, Kay Willis Wyma reminds us that we can stop the craziness. Contentment is possible.

I absolutely LOVED this book. Did I already say that? That’s ok, it’s worth repeating. I laughed, nodded my head in agreement (em
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Diane Higgins
Jul 05, 2015 Diane Higgins rated it it was amazing
This book was one of the most insightful books I have ever read! Since I have a melancholy personality, I have a strong tendency to view the glass as half empty. Even as a little girl, I had the tendency to compare myself to others, and this followed me on into my adult years. Even when I had my first child, I compared when my child walked to a friend's child! Sometimes this tendency tends to weigh me down in life, and I really feel like I can't enjoy life like I should. Kay Wills Wyma uses ...more
Lori L (She Treads Softly)
Jun 01, 2015 Lori L (She Treads Softly) rated it really liked it
I'm Happy for You by Kay Wills Wyma is highly recommended. If we refuse to allow comparison to control our thoughts and emotions, we can be more content and full of joy.

The complete title of Kay Wills Wyma book, I'm Happy for You (Sort Of...Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison, really explains the whole premise of the book. Wyma points out that most of us suffer from "Obsessive Comparison Disorder." When we are constantly concern about measuring ourselves in comparison to
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Lindsey Silvestrini
Nov 30, 2015 Lindsey Silvestrini rated it it was amazing
Oh how I needed to read this book right now! It is so relevant to what happens on social media that I found myself nodding in agreement the whole time I was reading "I'm happy for you (sort of… Not really.)" Sadly I couldn't agree more with the authors assessment that we live in a culture of comparison. With the holidays upon us there's no better time to remind ourselves that the comparison trap just breeds unhappiness and discontentment.

How many times have you scrolled through Facebook and seen
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Rebecca Ray
Nov 18, 2015 Rebecca Ray rated it liked it
I admit it. I often get caught up in comparing myself with other people. In fact, I occasionally have to take Facebook and other social media breaks to keep myself from feeling jealousy over the amazing things that it seems like everyone else has and does. So, in my search for repentance over this sin of comparison, I thought it would be an excellent idea to read I’m Happy for You (Sort Of…Not Really): Finding Contentment in a Culture of Comparison, the newest book by Kay Wills Wyma.

In this book
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Tiffany
Sep 23, 2016 Tiffany rated it really liked it
Shelves: christian-life
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
David
Apr 13, 2016 David rated it it was ok
I'd give it 2.5 if that were an option. Sensible basic message (endless social comparison is likely to make you miserable; you don't really know what's going on in others' seemingly perfect lives; try to accept what you have and be grateful; God made you perfect just the way you are; social media can be toxic in shoving others' abundance/success/happiness in our faces) repeated many more times than necessary with the help of illustrative anecdotes from her kids and her own struggles with envy ...more
Kerry Hedden
I'm Happy for You (Sort of…not really) by Kay Wills Wyma Has Some Helpful Advice

I think Kay has found a niche that most of us don't really speak of or perhaps it's just that we have not recognized, in ourselves, that a source of much of our discontentment and stress is brought on by our constant need to compare and analyzing our lives by comparing ourselves to others and what they have or have accomplished in their lives.

I found it very interesting how Kay Wills Wyma was able to break down the e
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Mel
Dec 06, 2015 Mel rated it it was amazing
Have you ever found yourself struggling to stay content when everyone around you seems so perfect? Kay Wills Wyma writes in her new book, I’m Happy For You, a topic that have affected all of us at one time or another: comparison. In a world, where we can compare and be compared by just one click of the mouse, unhappiness is never too far away. Ms. Wyma writes from her own experiences of learning how to deal with the comparison-crazed society and shares with us her experiences and also shares the ...more
Erin Cataldi
Nov 18, 2015 Erin Cataldi rated it really liked it
This is essential reading for everyone, especially in this day in age. We allow our emotions to be dictated by social media, how many likes we get, what our friends are doing, how pretty we look in our pictures. It's a never ending cycle of self loathing and jealousy and it needs to stop. This book tackles comparison, why we compare our lives with others and how that affects the way we live ours. As quoted in the book, "This is one of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity: we're comparing ...more
Jen
Feb 12, 2016 Jen rated it really liked it
This book is so timely...overdue really. How long has the act (the obsession) of comparison in our culture been going on, before it was so ragingly obvious that we could no longer ignore it? Longer than we realize, I suspect. And probably familiar to everyone.
This book made it glaringly obvious that I had something to learn from it. And I think I did! It was a huge relief, actually, to read the author's perspective as well as the anecdotes featured at the beginning of each chapter. I'm not the
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Elizabeth
Jun 14, 2015 Elizabeth rated it it was amazing
I'm Happy for You(Sort Of...Not Really) by Kay Wills Wyma is the perfect book on how to find contentment in a culture of comparison.

First, I love how Wyma doesn't tell us how to do so, but rather how she is trying to be content in her life circumstances. She uses so many real life stories that show that she is just a human, who messes up time and time again, but is working towards happiness for others. I think anyone can relate to her examples and nod their head in agreement with so much of what
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Kay Wills Wyma has five kids, ages four to fourteen, and one SUV with a lot of carpool miles. Before she transitioned to stay-at-home mom, she earned an MBA, worked at the White House, and dabbled in international finance. Happily married to Jon, this self-described recovering enabler is committed to equipping the next generation to achieve great things in the future by piling on the ...more
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“This is one of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity: we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else’s highlight reel. —Steven Furtick” 0 likes
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” 0 likes
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