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Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations
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Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations

3.94  ·  Rating Details ·  2,879 Ratings  ·  118 Reviews
A guide to successful negotiation shows readers how to stay cool under pressure, stand up for themselves without provoking opposition, deal with underhanded tactics, find mutually agreeable options, and more, in a new edition of the classic guide, updated
Title: Getting Past No
Author: Ury, William
Publisher: Random House Inc
Publication Date: 1993/01/01
Number of Pages:
Paperback, 189 pages
Published January 1st 1993 by Bantam Books (first published August 1st 1991)
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Oleg Kagan
May 11, 2010 Oleg Kagan rated it really liked it
Shelves: idea-books
I hear that law school students are required to read "Getting Past No," and I understand why -- the book is an excellent negotiation primer. Though it's a quick read (took me two sittings) I think it will be worth re-reading every so often.

William Ury, the co-founder of Harvard Law's Program on Negotiation, breaks negotiation down into five stages:

Go to the Balcony - Separate yourself from the situation so you can think clearly.

Step to their Side - See the negotiation from the other side's pers
Jul 11, 2009 Nicholas rated it really liked it
Shelves: business
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Miles De Grifter
Sep 29, 2011 Miles De Grifter rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: anyone who has difficulty controlling themselves in difficult or heated discussions and negociations
Recommended to Miles by: Linguana
despite most of what is being said in this book kinda feeling obvious, just reading it and organizing ones thoughts is extremely helpful. in fact, just today (i finished this book on the train home today) i used techniques described in here (possibly unknowingly) to get 3 adversely positioned colleagues to change their stance on the issue in question by 180°. suffice to say i was baffled and quite proud of myself, because not only did i overcome my innate tendency to overreaction (the balcony ...more
May 17, 2016 Sanika rated it really liked it
Favorite aspects of the book :

1) This book looks at negotiation in a very optimistic manner and every chapter reiterates that no matter how difficult it may be, even the most difficult and complex negotiations can be handled successfully. The author is very honest and realistic about how difficult it can be to try and reach an agreement with some people.

2) The technique has been explained in a very simple manner such that it is easy for all readers to comprehend.

3) Numerous examples have been g
Marian Suwono
Jan 29, 2015 Marian Suwono rated it really liked it
This is not really a review but the points I learned from this book.
Despite explaining the obvious, this book is still a good read with the anecdotes and the step-by-step structuring of the obvious. You can read the content table to know these steps:
1) don't react, go to the balcony (balcony refers to a calm space in our head where we calm down before taking the next action)
2) disarm them, step to their side (don't attack, show understanding without conceding, you'll disarm them by doing so)
3) c
Nov 02, 2009 E rated it it was amazing
Concise, practical book on negotiating

Best-selling author William Ury has the topic of negotiation down cold. Reading this classic book (originally released in 1991) is a pleasure and the reasons it became a bestseller are obvious: It is clear, concise and eminently readable. This book has such wide appeal that getAbstract recommends it to all businesspeople and to anyone who ever needs to negotiate about anything – from cops bargaining with hostage takers to consumers pushing for the best car
Nada Obaid
Sep 30, 2014 Nada Obaid rated it really liked it
I learnt a lot from the different negotiation strategies that I can apply not only in work but in my personal life to make my negotiations with others more effective :) The book had a very smooth structure that I liked because it gave me a sense of ideas' sequence.

I strongly recommend it for people who find it difficult to reach an agreement with others and often struggle in negotiations :)
C.B. Brooks
Nov 03, 2012 C.B. Brooks rated it really liked it
The world would be a better place if everyone negotiated nicely with the best common interest in mind. Unfortunately most people who consider themselves "good negotiators," hagglers, and hard-bargaining are really just bullies or other personality disorders. The author gives some good tricks for dealing with them, but in real life you're probably better off walking away.
Caleb West
Jun 06, 2011 Caleb West rated it it was amazing
This book outlines a very good process by which to handle all negotiations in life. Very methodical without being overly specific. Quick read. I am going to read his others. eventually.
Illia Kubasov
Jul 15, 2016 Illia Kubasov rated it really liked it
Useful guide in business negotiations.
Nada Khalil
Nov 08, 2016 Nada Khalil rated it really liked it
The book "Getting Past No" is a book about how to get the answer you want when dealing with suborn people. This book shows several different strategies on how to change that "no" to a "yes". Most of the situations used in this book takes place in a work force or between a married couple. One of the situations used was like when you are presenting a new idea for something your boss assigned you but he says "sorry not this time". This book teaches you how to instead of, nod and sit down, to ...more
Derrick Connell
Dec 04, 2016 Derrick Connell rated it liked it
I didn't learn much from this book. Has some good tips if you are not a good negotiator but my dad spent hours when we were kids teaching us how to negotiate and this felt like what we learned when we were 7.
Ashish Sharma
Jun 18, 2013 Ashish Sharma rated it it was amazing
Shelves: wanna-read-again
Being recently introduced to the books related to negotiation, I feel more enlightened about how human mind works and how emotions play a role in its working. Negotiation is a game where human mind and emotions are at their peak and hence gives more insight into our behavior. What makes negotiation important is that at the end of this there is a decision which has to come out and that decision is going to determine who is going to get what! But a sharp person looks much beyond the simple ...more
Cathy Allen
I am one who always reads with a pen in my hand... underlining and making notes in the margins. Sometimes I even argue with an author, "Yeah, but what about...?" My guess is that a lot of questioning and argument came from readers after Professors Roger Fisher and William Ury published Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. The blockbuster book spelled out an utterly simple and utterly sensible approach to negotiation the authors called "principled." It's based on establishing ...more
Sep 07, 2016 Jessica rated it liked it
A quick read with practical, memorable tips on negotiation. Where I found it a little disappointing is that he opens the book by talking about how we are constantly negotiating -- with our spouse, with our coworkers, with our kids. But almost all of the strategies and examples seem based around formal negotiations -- salary negotiations, union negotiations, negotiations with hostage-takers. The tips seem very helpful for situations in which both sides are aware of the fact that they are ...more
Arturo Mijangos
Feb 15, 2013 Arturo Mijangos rated it it was amazing
Shelves: negotiation
This book is now my favorite negotiations book, not only does it give a clear framework of what to do when you encounter opposition in a negotiation it also enlightens the reader on the benefits of negotiation. This is a much more enjoyable book than Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, but reading Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In is essential but not required.
If you seem to come to negotiation circumstances and feel that you did poorly or caved in, the
Eric Anest
Nov 13, 2012 Eric Anest rated it liked it
Advocates a so-called "breakthrough strategy" for effective negotiation:

Don't react: Go to the balcony. That is, take an objective view of the situation.
Don't argue: Step to their side. Understand their interests and motivations.
Don't reject: Reframe. If you can't accept their solution, reframe the issues to try to satisfy everyone.
Don't push: Build them a golden bridge. Hard-line negotiating rarely works. Give people an opportunity to both accept your offer and save face.
Don't escalate: Use pow
Jun 14, 2008 Stevie rated it liked it
Shelves: business
This is the first book I have read on negotiation, and I thought it was helpful. It is a bit daunting to try to apply all that the author discusses, but I feel if I just used some of what he said it would make me a more effective negotiator.

The Five Steps of Breakthrough Negotiation:

1. Go to the Balcony - control your own emotions
2. Step to Their Side - defuse the anger and create a favorable environment
3. Reframe - direct attention to meeting each side's interests and deal with the problem
4. Bu
Sep 27, 2015 Jeffrey rated it really liked it
Shelves: professional-dev
Wow, this was an amazing read. It has already been helpful at work and in personal life. I guess the main lesson is to approach all negotiations as opportunities for partnership and shared problem solving, rather than a confrontation that can be 'won'. LIsten first, try to understand their interests and not just the position, explain your interests, step to their side of the table.

I started using this technique at work and saw instant results in negotiating actual transactions and small interper
Sep 06, 2016 Redon rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Really good

Usable in any situation, lets you know the ins and outs of negotiating and opens your eyes to the many different possibilities of how to use any negotiating tactic and how to deal with tricks or power plays nicely
Sergey Kononenko
May 30, 2013 Sergey Kononenko rated it it was amazing
Definitely one of the best book I've ever read about negotiation process. It's very good structured, easy to understand with interesting and useful examples from real life that makes material even more clean. Books is very short and practical.

Why this book is better than 1000+1 of other books about negotiation?
Probably because R. Fisher and W. Ury describe in "Getting Past No" very positive view on negotiation and stresses that "Win - Win" position is the single right way to communicate with peo
Nov 01, 2011 J rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
As an aspiring writer, I have always dreaded the thought that something I might be lucky enough to get published, would end up on some bargain shelf. It turns out my fears are unfounded because the value of a book - this one in particular - has nothing to do with how it was priced.

I picked up this Getting Past No at the Taos Public Library for fifty cents.

William Ury is a talented, engaging writer. His approach is logical, understandable, and makes sense. Getting Past No is the best bargain bo
Sep 19, 2007 Kelly rated it liked it
Recommends it for: office dwellers
Shelves: business
I read this book for a Conflict Resolution class and as a result, conducted a light seminar on its lessons at my workplace. Though some of the content was pretty intuitive (paraphrase, make "I" statements, ask open ended questions), the authors sprinkled in enough case studies, pop culture references and fables to make it interesting. Ideas such as "Don't say 'But,' say 'Yes..And'" in the spirit of "accumulating yeses" gave new perspective. I found "Build Them a Golden Bridge" and "the Power ...more
Vivek Agarwal
Nov 06, 2015 Vivek Agarwal rated it it was amazing
Just a brilliant book
I have learnt some of these concepts while at Business School

However the author here makes the language and the process very defined and very easy to understand

The key is to be able to make this as part of my instinctive and immediate thinking rather than a reference

The practices and process here should be ingrained to be a daily and almost immediate way of thinking while negotiating with difficult people

Also I can say that it does not always work
Some people just don't
Mar 15, 2014 Melinda rated it liked it
William Ury's five step negotiation technique:
1. Go to the balcony - control your emotions; know your alternatives.
2. Step to their side - create a favorable climate in which to negotiate.
3. Reframe - don't reject; ask questions, identify tactics and stay on target.
4. Build them a golden bridge - present a solution that is favorable to both sides and let them decide to take it or not.
5. Use power to educate - educate them on the costs of not finding a solution and exercise your alternatives if n
Jan 12, 2014 Parcoast rated it liked it
This is another great book on Negotiation but wasn't quite as useful to me as the Truths About Negotiation I read a few months back. The points/strategies were good, but seemed to use more words to reinforce some of the same concepts. Oddly enough, I still haven't cracked its predecessor, Getting To Yes, which is sitting on my side table right here beside. It will have its turn sometime soon.

So, all in all, I liked it. If this is the only book you read on negotiating, it won't be wasted time, bu
Dec 14, 2011 Erwin rated it liked it
Also OK... Same overall concept as The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes and Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.

Same as the rules of management. Be fair. Stick to the fair road.
Aug 01, 2014 Ashley rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I had to read this book for my Negotiations & Relationship Management class and it was extremely helpful. Ury's tips are very simple and helpful when it comes to negotiating in business situations and even in everyday negotiations between your friends and family. This book was also really easy to read and was actually pretty interesting which is not something usually said about school books. I recommend this to anyone who may be negotiating; whether you are a beginner or you've been doing it ...more
Jan 05, 2015 El rated it really liked it
This book introduced me to the negotiation process. It's written well and easy to read. While some of the ideas in the book is common knowledge, I found the explanations to be thorough; It helped with my understanding of the topic. I'd recommend this book to everyone. Even if negotiation isn't something that piques your interest, concepts from this book will help strengthen existing relationships. I'm excited to read some of the other books written by the authors.
Apr 24, 2013 George rated it really liked it
I'm working through a difficult family situation and while this book did not really furnish any examples approximating my own circumstances, it still makes a strong contribution that will help me/us a lot. I'm a big fan of the Harvard Program on Negotiation and always enjoy the related literature like Getting to Yes, The Power of a Positive No, Beyond Reason, Difficult Conversations, Bargaining with the Devil and this one: Getting Past No.
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William L. Ury co-founded Harvard's Program on Negotiation where he currently directs the Global Negotiation Initiative. He is the author of The Power of a Positive No How to Say No Still Get to Yes (2007) and co-author (with Roger Fisher) of Getting to Yes Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In , a five-million-copy bestseller translated into over twenty languages. "No other book in the field ...more
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