Come Back: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

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Come Back: A Mother and Daughter's Journey Through Hell and Back

by Claire Fontaine, Mia Fontaine (Goodreads Author)

3.96 of 5 stars 3.96 · rating details · 4,895 ratings · 690 reviews

How does an honor student at one of Los Angeles's finest prep schools-a nice girl from a happy, loving home-trade school uniforms and afternoons at the mall for speedballs in the back of a truck in rural Indiana? How does her devoted mother emerge from the shock of finding that her daughter has not only disappeared but had been living a secret life for more than a year? Mo...more

Paperback, 311 pages

Published February 19th 2007 by Harper Perennial (first published April 1st 2006)

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Best Memoir / Biography / Autobiography

185th out of 1,798 books — 1,736 voters

Some Are Sicker Than Others by Andrew Seaward

Substance Abuse & Addiction

60th out of 357 books — 714 voters

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Jul 23, 2007 Andrea kane rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Lauren and Caitie

I am currently reading this book as well as A Thousand Splendid Suns. I really like Come Back. It is the true story of and honor student, Mia, who becomes a drug addict. She and her mom, Claire, who is a screenwriter. They have a very close mother/daughter bond, but something goes terribly wrong. The book is written in the first person by both of them and so far, I am loving it.

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Jun 27, 2008 Blythe rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2008

I enjoyed this book and read it really quickly, though it wasn't quite what I expected. It quickly devolves into a soft sell of self-help group (read, Landmark Education) "technology," which I am highly suspicious of. Also suspicious of the daughter's diary entries, which read a bit too close to the mother's voice and subject matter to be a coincidence.

Both of these complaints aside, this is a great examination of the bond between a mother and child, the pain felt at the breaking of that bond, a...more

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Mar 27, 2009 Ellen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Why do I keep reading memoirs?

Because I keep hoping that people write them because they feel their life has something in common with the rest of us.

Not to find out that a book is written by a spoiled "poor little rich mom" who becomes an armchair psychologist and can't stop spending thousands of dollars on boutique self-help programs.

Now let's step back. You can read the description yourself and infer that this is a story about a teen runaway who enters an extremist reform school and ultimately...more Why do I keep reading memoirs?

Because I keep hoping that people write them because they feel their life has something in common with the rest of us.

Not to find out that a book is written by a spoiled "poor little rich mom" who becomes an armchair psychologist and can't stop spending thousands of dollars on boutique self-help programs.

Now let's step back. You can read the description yourself and infer that this is a story about a teen runaway who enters an extremist reform school and ultimately becomes best friends with her mom. That is certainly part of the book, and in fact the best part of the book. Mia (the daughter) writes part of the story and her perspective is fascinating and personable--I think it really captures the mind of a troubled teen and its maturation into adult sensibility.

Claire (the mom), on the other hand, is a small child in an adult's body whose "maturation" is long overdue and again, costs likely tens of thousands of dollars. She tells of an abusive husband who is to blame for the major psychological problems of both her and her daughter. Oh, and Claire's mom was cold to her as a child, so that's also why she is so messed up. Really? Really? I thought this fatalistic, Freudian view was archaic enough that we weren't still talking about it as the sole sculptor of adult mental illness. Claire insists that Mia's "stuff" has everything to do with being sexually abused as a child and very little to do with being raised by an incredibly neurotic mother. While Claire finally gets it (somewhat) at the end, the preceding narrative completely discredits all of the therapists, counselors, and friends who have been telling her so all along. Claire ultimately can't admit that she is supposed to be the adult here.

In addition, the New Age-y "Discovery" and "Focus" programs in which Claire and Mia participate couldn't possibly work for the rest of us. I have no beef with self-confrontation workshops and their capacity for mental discipline, but let's be real here. The average tuition in 2005 for a school like those described in this book--ironically, schools affiliated with the organization abbreviated WWASP--was $50,000. Tell me about the families who really need their delinquent children in therapy who can afford that.

It was just so frustrating to read this book when Claire was talking. Mia I have no problem with--she's both a victim of her upbringing and a normal teen, and the reason this book gets 3 stars. But the issue is that the book is dominated by Claire's self-important wallowing. The New York Times Book Review called this "a testament to the power of the love between a mother and a daughter." To me it felt like a testament to the power of money and manipulative seminars to place a Band-Aid on the repression, boredom, and waste of the upper class.(less)

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Jun 18, 2008 Khaya rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: People who can handle intense stories about survivors of abuse

Shelves: bookclub, memoirs, intense-sad-dark-or-bleak

Whoa -- this book was intense. I knew that going in, and wouldn't normally have chosen it (I stayed away from "Hannah's Gift" despite numerous recommendations from friends, because I can't handle reading about topics like the death of a child), contrary to the ribbing of my friends and family who always insist that I like the most depressing books. One of the mixed blessings of being in a book club is being forced to read books you wouldn't normally pick up, I guess.

Reading this book required a...more Whoa -- this book was intense. I knew that going in, and wouldn't normally have chosen it (I stayed away from "Hannah's Gift" despite numerous recommendations from friends, because I can't handle reading about topics like the death of a child), contrary to the ribbing of my friends and family who always insist that I like the most depressing books. One of the mixed blessings of being in a book club is being forced to read books you wouldn't normally pick up, I guess.

Reading this book required a strong stomach, on two levels. First, reading about the horrific sexual abuse Mia suffered from her father as a toddler was hard to take. Working in a field where I hear stories like this hasn't immunized me, which is probably a good thing; and while I work to maintain some professional distance in the office, I tend to forget those skills when I'm reading a book.

Second, I'm embarrassed to admit this because it sounds crassly irreverent and even heretical from someone in my field, but all the pop psychology got on my nerves. I had to keep reminding myself that these people had lived through terrible experiences and needed to learn relationship skills that may not apply to those of us with more mundane lives; however, repeatedly reading dialogue like "I want to give you some feedback -- I experience you as using humor and sarcasm to distance others," or "...as playing up your experiences so you can act as the drama queen or victim," etc. made me want to cringe. I find these kind of statements canned, not to mention intrusive, and would probably go nuts if a friend or family member of mine started talking this way on a regular basis.

Having said that, this book was gripping and I literally couldn't put it down. The writing was great, and the story was highly affecting. I was inspired by Claire and Mia's strength and courage in living these experiences and then in writing so honestly about them.

Or did they? Because, in the aftermath of "A Million Little Pieces," I suspect I'm not alone in reading dramatic memoirs with a bit of a cynical eye, especially since I wonder whether it's possible to actually remember all those details and not to be filling in any from one's imagination. James Frey stole my innocence, I guess.

Overall, though, I think the book is worth reading if you can handle this type of material. I need a serious break, though -- bring on the chick lit, man!(less)

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Jan 09, 2008 Elyssa rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: addiction, recovery, psychology

I read this book because it was assigned to the graduate students I supervise as part of their internship experience. Co-written by mother and daughter Claire and Mia Fontaine, it's the story of their simultaneous recovery.

It begins with Mia as an adolescent, starting to act out (drug abuse, promiscuity, cutting, eating disorder, etc) and inexplicably running away. After deeper examination, it appears that Mia is acting out unresolved trauma from being sexually abused by her biological father....more

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Nov 11, 2011 Joy rated it 4 of 5 stars

An excellent, touching book on mother-daughter bond. I find myself wanting to read the parts the daughter wrote.In this book I've learned that you have to face your fears, face the reality even if it hurts so that you can accept the things that you can never change, so that you can forgive yourself and that person who have done wrong to you. Sometimes, we think that we want to go away to protect our love ones but in the end we are the ones hurting them by not telling what made us go away, what m...more

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Dec 29, 2008 Yasmin rated it 5 of 5 stars

I am not one usually to read non-fiction, but this mother-daughter story "through hell and back" was a fantastic read.

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Jan 22, 2013 t.A rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: dark, families, home-library, not-for-me

I picked this book up second hand because it sounded good.

Sounded good. I'm still having trouble figuring out if it actually was good. The premise had so much potential, but it fell apart page by page.

I'm not sorry I read this, but it's not one of those things I picture myself reading again.

Several times during the course of the novel, I put it aside telling myself that it wasn't worth finishing. But then I always kept going back to it, if only just to see how it all worked out for everyone.

My d...more

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Dec 14, 2012 Lauren rated it 5 of 5 stars

I read this book after my daughter's therapist recommended it to me, saying, "You need some hope." This is the story of Claire and Mia Fontaine, mother and daughter, and their extraordinary perseverance and strength.

Mia, 15 years old, is the only child of Claire and step-dad Paul - a doted on honors student at an exclusive academy in Los Angeles who was leading a double life for almost a year before running away to the streets. Thus began the adventure - Mia losing herself in a life of drugs and...more

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Jun 25, 2012 Suzanne rated it 2 of 5 stars

I appreciate all that Claire and Mia Fontaine went through, and I almost hate to not write a good review of this book, but I am reviewing the book, not the people. I found the book to be basically what felt like an ad for a recovery program for teens (and parallel programs for the parents) that sounded very cult-like to me. It worked for Mia, who sounded seriously drug-addicted before entering the program (and I have to believe the mother knew nothing of this until she ran away, even though she...more

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Mar 24, 2012 Courtney Pernat rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book left me not only disturbed, but also angry. I felt the mother, Claire, made some stunningly bad judgment calls - namely staying with a man she suspected might one day sexually abuse their daughter, Mia, which he did. Claire's reasoning was that he surely wouldn't abuse Mia as a preschooler, when she still had her "piglet" body, though she acknowledged he might in the future. This makes my head spin. I cannot comprehend a situation where I would allow my daughters to be around a man pot...more

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Jun 23, 2011 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

Powerful memoir of a mother and daughter who struggle to fix their lives and their relationship. Mother and daughter co-author the book. Daughter's part is in italics and mother's part is regular print, so it's easy to follow.

After running away from home multiple times, the daughter is sent to a boot-camp recovery program in Europe. She suffers from several issues, the biggest of all is the abuse she received from her biological father when she was young. With that baggage, she started doing dru...more

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Oct 03, 2010 Marie desJardins rated it 5 of 5 stars

At first I found myself liking this book less and less -- it starts off with a story we've heard before -- "my perfect daughter one day up and ran away from home." But it quickly becomes obvious that the utter shock that the mother (Claire Fontaine) feels when she finds her daughter (co-author Mia Fontaine) has run away is entirely self-deception. When the story really becomes interesting is when Mia starts to tell her own story -- and you realize that the book is really written from the perspec...more

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Sep 27, 2010 Caitlin rated it 4 of 5 stars

I wasn't expecting to like this book as much as I did, but I found the psychology of abuse and drug addiction and the dynamic between a single mother and her daughter fascinating. The story jumps back and forth between the mother's story and then the daughter will jump in with her perspective, so the book flips back and forth between them, which I thought would be gimmicky but actually works. So you get both sides of the story as Mia runs aways, they track her down, send her to a rehab/strict bo...more

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May 27, 2010 Grace rated it 5 of 5 stars

Mother and daughter tell their parallel stories in mesmerizing first–person accounts. Claire Fontaine's story is a parent's worst nightmare, a cautionary tale chronicling her daughter Mia's drug-fueled manipulation of everyone around her as she sought refuge in the seedy underworld of felons and heroin addicts, the painful childhood secrets that led up to it, and the healing that followed. Her search for Mia was brutal for both mother and daughter, a dizzying series of dead ends, incredible coin...more

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Feb 16, 2013 Michelle rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2013, memoir

3.5 stars. Why do the descriptions of memoirs almost always misstate the case? This is billed as a good girl from a wonderful home becomes a heroin addict, a terrifying prospect to be sure. Alas while Mia is in fact from a good home and has a mother and stepfather who love her tremendously, she has a dark, dark past having experienced horrific abuse starting at a young age. After what she went through it is absolutely no surprise she had such severe issues as a teen. The dynamic with her abusive...more 3.5 stars. Why do the descriptions of memoirs almost always misstate the case? This is billed as a good girl from a wonderful home becomes a heroin addict, a terrifying prospect to be sure. Alas while Mia is in fact from a good home and has a mother and stepfather who love her tremendously, she has a dark, dark past having experienced horrific abuse starting at a young age. After what she went through it is absolutely no surprise she had such severe issues as a teen. The dynamic with her abusive father is heartbreaking. He never takes the court-ordered classes to gain visitation and instead starts a new family. Can you imagine a child realizing her father doesn’t care enough to see her AND on top of that hating herself for wanting to see him given what a monster he is? That is some serious and complex shit right there. That said, huge kudos to her mother who got her out of the situation the minute she understood what was going on. Though of course it’s a memoir penned by the mother herself so who knows if the realization/leaving took longer than what is portrayed in the book. But she is definitely a force of parent (in a good way).

Overall this is beautifully written, though it lags at times. It’s co-authored by the mother and daughter though mostly the mom, who is a screenwriter and her writing background shines through. The daughter’s contributions come in the form of journals, which is the part I found slow. I didn’t love this aspect of it thought it was probably necessary. Unfortunately the daughter comes across as highly unlikeable which most teens would in their private journals, especially heroin addicted teens. In that way, I’m glad the author (mother) described her childhood. At first I was thinking it was too much detail but it does make Mia a lot more sympathetic.

What’s interesting about this memoir is it’s very little about the addiction itself and way more about the recovery. (And at an interesting “facility” at that – multi-YEAR stint). This is both a positive and a negative. In general, I had trouble relating to this aspect but there are some real nuggets of wisdom applicable to all parents. My kids are still little but I did take away some important tidbits. It also confirmed what I truly believe and have found in my volunteer work with foster kids: children want love/acceptance/anything from their parents. It doesn’t matter if the parent is a drug addict or abuser or the crappiest parent on the planet. Children want their mommies (and daddies). I think this is an important thing for parents to understand, especially those normal, everyday, non-addict, non-abusive parents who stress about the job they’re doing.

Surprisingly, I walked away from this book feeling a little less terrified to one day become the mother of teenage girls. You’d think a book about a teen junkie would have the opposite effect but it’s a testament, I think, to the writing and the journey the author takes us on. As a reader you do feel you’ve learned something riding along with Mia and (mostly) Claire. There is really a major transformation but not without a lot of hard work.(less)

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Apr 22, 2013 Brianna Leyva rated it 4 of 5 stars

In the "Comeback" by Claire Fontaine and Mia Fontaine is about a journey that tests the relationship between a mother and a daughter to the extremes. This well written book gives you both sides of this journey to hell and back from Claire(the mother) and Mia(the troubled child). Mia as a young child grows up as a fairly happy child and seemed very normal and able to handle her horrible past that she had to go through as a young girl. Claire the mother of Mia had an amazing bond with her baby gir...more

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Jan 03, 2013 Bernie Maddalena rated it 5 of 5 stars

Its been awhile since I've read a really good book that kept my attention. I enjoyed this one very much.

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Nov 17, 2009 Ellyn rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2009

This memoir, co-written by a mother (Claire) and her daughter (Mia), tells the story of Mia's fall into drugs and street life as a teen, precipitated by the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her father as a young child. The majority of the book is about Mia's slow and difficult recovery after Claire forces her into a strict behavior modification school in the Czech Republic. Claire's healing from her own past traumas occurs simultaneously as she goes through the "program" with her daught...more

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Sep 17, 2012 Jody rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-reading-challenge, addiction, sexual-abuse, cult-like, memoir, relationships, angst, controversial, page-turner, wanted-to-learn-more

I read this book in big gulps and didn't want to set it down. So why the poor rating? I mean,this was the kind of page turner that I read while eating meals and forfeiting many hours of sleep.It's a frenzied tale written by both the terrified mom, Claire Fontaine- who goes to any lengths to save her addicted,sexually abused daughter- and by Mia herself; who's hell bent on running away from her trauma and joining the other desperate teens who attempt to survive on dangerous streets in a drugged...more I read this book in big gulps and didn't want to set it down. So why the poor rating? I mean,this was the kind of page turner that I read while eating meals and forfeiting many hours of sleep.It's a frenzied tale written by both the terrified mom, Claire Fontaine- who goes to any lengths to save her addicted,sexually abused daughter- and by Mia herself; who's hell bent on running away from her trauma and joining the other desperate teens who attempt to survive on dangerous streets in a drugged stupor.
My moral quandary is that Claire turns to the 'World Wide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools' (WWASPS) and their 'escorts' to basically kidnap Mia and fly her to the Czech Republic to one of their 'treatment centers' called Monrava Academy. (Interestingly, Mitt Romney's Bain Capital owns these medieval WWASPS). Without giving away any spoilers, suffice it to say that these are those 'tough love' centers that are usually closed down sooner or later due to child abuse.
So, here's the rub. Mia defends these organizations with the zeal of one who is brainwashed as does her mother. And it did help Mia, apparently, but what about all the 'survivors' or those that weren't so lucky? Imho, the Fontaines remind me of those afflicted with Stockholm Syndrome.
I support Mia in breaking free from her bondage but not the means. She's one of the fortunate ones who had a positive experience. I'm still thinking of this little shack called 'The Hobbit House' where rebellious unfortunates are locked up just like a prisoner in 'the hole'. I don't regret reading this because I became much more informed on the evils being done in the name of 'helping troubled youth'. As for the book, you won't find anything other than positive reports. I googled the rest. I gave it a one star rating because I don't want to support any book that espouses this sort of inhumane treatment and can be used as propaganda even though Mia escaped intact and thankful.
If you want to read an excellent first hand account of addiction that doesn't involve WWASPS, I highly recommend Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction. (less)

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Aug 15, 2009 JoAnn/QuAppelle rated it 3 of 5 stars

Claire and Mia Fontaine have done a masterful job of showing what happens inside a reprogramming center for out-of-control teens....mostly teens on drugs who have been "committed" to these facilities by their parents, who have reached the end of their rope, so to speak.

Since this is a "memoir", I was somewhat skeptical of some of it.

I think the book could have used some editing for length and I also found the plethora of details about the seminars attended by the parents and the sessions the da...more

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Oct 03, 2009 Eileen Granfors rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: families, women, ya, memoir

This memoir by both a mother and a daughter rivals the novel "Cost" in its picture of the way drug abuse ravages a family. The entire family must heal in order for the child too find a way to change, accept, feel safe and loved. This was an amazing book that I recommend to every parent before the kids hit their teens, to all families coping with drug abuse, and to those in recovery.

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Aug 30, 2007 Nina S rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: mothers & daughters

this is a memior of sorts. a mother daughter journey and all the things a mother will do to save her child. mia was sexually abused, turns to drugs as a teenager, and runs away. the story is told from both points of view, which makes it interesting and can appeal to both demographics. it was beautifully written, and a heartfelt story.

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Aug 10, 2009 Rhonda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2009

Mia is sexually abused at a very early age by her father, and this story is her struggle to deal with the emotional damage she suffers in her teenage years as a result of this terrible trauma. Mia goes from a very good student to a runaway druggie...in reality she had been using drugs for at least a year before running away. This is written by both Mia and her mother, Claire, offering parallel points of view throughout the book.

This book was enlightening in that it was not just tough love that...more

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Dec 21, 2011 Mary rated it 4 of 5 stars

I have watched the show "Intervention" several times, and this book reminds me of that show. They always begin with the story of a person gone down a bad, dark path. Then they tell stories of their childhood, and I always tell my husband.."Wait for it" "Wait for it." Because inevitably, they tell you about a trauma this person went through. Often in childhood, often abuse at the hands of a parent. It makes me so sad to know how damaging these events are for people and often the real damage doesn...more

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May 01, 2012 Cindy rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was a tough book to read. I think if my kids weren't "adults" now it might have been nearly impossible. I'm glad I read it, though. At age 15 Mia runs away and lives on the streets. Her mom, Claire, (who was clueless to Mia's problems) is determined to find her. Eventually Claire forces Mia into a hard-core teen rehab in the Czech Republic, where she works to overcome her addictions, the affects of childhood sexual abuse, and the other psychological and social problems that are retarding he...more

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Jul 30, 2011 Kate Hansen added it · review of another edition

Excellent! Compelling, heartbreaking and amazing; I had such a hard time putting this book down but at the same time the level of emotion made it so hard to read! I read it with the heart of a mother... imagining how hard it would be to watch one of my kids suffer through the abuse and broken soul that Mia had to. I got through Part One and had to set it down for a few days; same with Part Two. After that, as Mia and Claire start to move toward healing and the emotion isn't as painful, I could r...more

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Feb 22, 2011 Keri rated it 3 of 5 stars

Why did I pick up this book? I seem to be drawn to books about mother/daughter relationships - good and bad. I'm thinking it has to do alot with losing Whitney. Sometimes I feel like was such a bad Mother and I go down that road of 'if I only did this'. A few lines that stuck to me: When Claire is sending Mia away she talks about how she "is siezed with panic and regret. She'll (Mia) will be so far from anyone who loves her . . .I want to go back, far back, I want to breathe her back into me, in...more

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Nov 11, 2012 Paula Mccallum rated it 4 of 5 stars

This was a compelling story & one that I read in chunks, unable to put it down at times, like rubbernecking at a train wreck. It's hard to imagine "nice people" getting so messed up, but as you read, you see how easy it is &, perhaps, how much more common it is (on varying scales) than originally thought. I could actually see some of my own family of origin, as well as my husband's, & then our family together in this story. No, we don't have incest or anything sordid in our families!...more

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Mar 15, 2011 Wendi rated it 4 of 5 stars

I am surprised to say I actually kind of loved this book. "A mother and daughter's journey through hell and back" doesn't really sound like the kind of book I would normally read or enjoy. But when I slapped the cover closed after reading the last page, I took a deep sigh, counted my blessings, and vowed to be a better mom to these little kiddos of mine that I love so dang much.

I think sometimes I am overly hard on my oldest daughter, trying to teach her to behave and calm down. This book made m...more

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