My Sister, My Love: The Intimate Story of Skyler Rampike by Joyce Carol Oates

Jun 24, 2008 Bess rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Burke Ramsey

6/24: Finished last night. This has definitely moved into my #1 JCO book slot. (Blonde is really at the tippity top, but I don't really consider that a "book" so much as a fundamental component of life that everyone has to experience to become wholly human.) Somebody needs to dispatch a copy of this to Burke Ramsey, STAT, as it's the only thing that's happened publicly since the murder of his sister JonBenet a decade+ ago that legitimizes his existence as a standalone living, breathing entity wi...more

9 likes · like · see review

Oct 06, 2008 Eddylee rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people who would have liked blonde to be even longer

Recommended to Eddylee by: lynn from work

awkward beginning but it gets great from page 32 on. this is Joyce carol oates' story inspired by the ramsey murder except told from the perspective of the older brother who is 22 now and a recovering drug addict and pretty crazy in a forlorn something-happened-to-him-that-made-his-hair-turn-grey-way that isn't used much anymore. really enjoyable. hard to put down.

i loved this book and i love joyce carol oates for continuing the gothic tradition. there were even some pure horror moments (for in...more

5 likes · like · see review

Jul 11, 2008 Caitlin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Of course this is what Joyce Carol Oates expected: once again I would allow my prurient fascination with an American pop murder (and an uncannily prolific favorite author) to lead me all the way to the bookstore--a Barnes and Noble no less!--on my bicycle in the rain to purchase a $30 hardcover edition of her brand new novel. And I hate hardcovers! What I was hoping for, I would assure Ms. Oates, was not just another slick and sleazy rendition of the JonBenet Ramsey story (one I surely could hav...more Of course this is what Joyce Carol Oates expected: once again I would allow my prurient fascination with an American pop murder (and an uncannily prolific favorite author) to lead me all the way to the bookstore--a Barnes and Noble no less!--on my bicycle in the rain to purchase a $30 hardcover edition of her brand new novel. And I hate hardcovers! What I was hoping for, I would assure Ms. Oates, was not just another slick and sleazy rendition of the JonBenet Ramsey story (one I surely could have purchased in perfectly-good-condition paperback in the true crime section of a used book store), but another shockingly weird/real narration like the one she created in her novel "Zombie" (the much shorter work based on Jeffrey Dahmer). Unfortunately, I don't think Oates was as fascinated (or disgusted) with meek, scrunched-embryonic Skyler Rampike (the story's narrator based on her JonBenet's brother Burke). Perhaps there is something just too unlikeable about JonBenet, her family, and the drawn-out mystery itself to inspire good literature just yet. After all, Oates wasn't the only author to be able to create some remarkable literature out of the sludgy Dahmer story; Thom Gunn's book of poems "Boss Cupid" is downright beautiful, tender. But for all its pages, and its extra inset novella, "My Sister, My Love" offers little in the way of literary innovation, character development, or really even sordid description. It's true, I couldn't put the book down; but that was really because of what I kept _hoping_ the book would become when, really, in the end, it was just a so-so book. That said, I'd rather read a mediocre Joyce Carol Oates novel than almost any other book, any day. But coincidentally (or perhaps not at all), I only got a satisfying end to Oates's novel when, two days after I finished the book, I heard on CNN radio that the real-life Ramseys (Burke included) have once and for all been officially exonerated from all suspicion in the murder of little JonBenet, after "new technology" revealed that DNA samples found on the body do not match Ramsey family genes. As corporate big-wig daddy Bix Rampike would say, genetic technology _is_ the path to the future--at least to the Ramsey family's future--after all. (less)

3 likes · like · see review

Jan 06, 2009 Lori rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2009january

My head's a little spinny.

(Joyce Carol Oates will do that to you.)

My Sister, My Love, her take on the JonBenet Ramsey family, is immense -- both in size and scope. Part satire, part tragedy, all meta, the book is less about the murder of pint-sized ice-skating sensation Bliss Ramsey than the familial and societal pressures of The American Dream.

Told as the memoir of Skyler, Bliss's now-20, then-9-year-old brother, the book is more than a bit chaotic and self-reverential. It's skeevy -- I could'v...more

1 like · like · see review

Nov 04, 2008 Jimmie rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: absolutely nobody

This is Joyce Carol Oates' concept album. This is Joyce Carol Oates jumping the shark. Having published scores of books and becoming overconfident in her talent, this is Joyce Carol Oates' fuck-you to her loyal readership.

I've read a half-dozen of her books, and to vary degrees, I've enjoyed all of them immensely. She has an uncanny knack of creating dark, uncomfortable, creepy worlds out of the most mundane landscapes. I love the way she writes.

"My Sister, My Love," though, is just plain crap....more

3 likes · like · see review

Oct 03, 2008 Christina Stind rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2008, fiction

The first novel I read by Joyce Carol Oates, was Blonde – and it blew me away. I loved it and was so impressed by it. This novel reminds me of Blonde in that they both deal with celebrity life and death – Blonde with Marilyn Monroe, My Sister My love with JonBenet Ramsay – and also, in the way the story is told.
In my opinion, one of the main themes of JCO’s works are ’the american dream gone bad’. This novel follows the brief life of Bliss Rampike, ice skating prodigy, and her murder when she...more The first novel I read by Joyce Carol Oates, was Blonde – and it blew me away. I loved it and was so impressed by it. This novel reminds me of Blonde in that they both deal with celebrity life and death – Blonde with Marilyn Monroe, My Sister My love with JonBenet Ramsay – and also, in the way the story is told.
In my opinion, one of the main themes of JCO’s works are ’the american dream gone bad’. This novel follows the brief life of Bliss Rampike, ice skating prodigy, and her murder when she’s (probably) about to break through. But it also tells the story behind the shy smile of the (not natural) blonde little girl – how her mother uses her skating abilities to not only live out her own childhood dreams but also to gain a higher social status in the community. The mother’s comments when things go wrong – ’don’t disappoint mummy’ and ’next time we’ll pray harder’ – are chilling to read and it seems like her love is dependent on the children being able to help her achieve her goals. Little Bliss wasn’t much loved before she showed huge skating potential and then took her brother’s place as the favourite child.
My favourite scene – and the most heart wrenching – was when little Bliss scolds her old raggedy doll using her mother’s exact words – the doll’s name is a secret but Bliss reveals to her brother that she has given it her own birth name, the name her mother decided wasn’t going to cut it if Bliss was to be a famous ice skater...
Another thing that was really scary was the over-medicating of all the children, not just the Rampike children but all the children in this suburbian environment. They all had so many diagnoses and got so many pills - and were pretty much all just screwed up for life...
What most impresses me about JCO is her way of finding the perfect voice to tell her stories. In this novel, Skyler Rampike, the brother of Bliss Rampike, is at the same time the main protagonist as well as the voice telling the story – and it switches between him telling the story in third person and speaking directly to the reader in first person, sometimes in footnotes explaining things or even commenting on what he has told or critizing his own ability to tell the story. And the author chimes in from time to time as well.
Since this is inspired by a real life murder, sometimes it can be hard not to transfer the events in the novel to the real life murder. In the JonBenet Ramsey case, the murder still hasn't been solved, in the Bliss Rampike case we get to know who did it. It felt very true in the book but somehow, knowing what I know of the real case, it felt a bit off and that's the reason the book only gets 4 stars because otherwise it is so well executed and written and the story flows so well in it's own awkward way that it deserved a five.

(less)

1 like · like · see review

Jul 17, 2008 Jeanne rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone intrigued by the JonBenet Ramsey case

If you were intrigued by the murder of the pint-sized beauty queen, JonBenet Ramsey, you'll love the latest offering from JCO.

With My Sister, My Love, Oates tells the story of Bliss Rampike's short-lived skating career and her bizarre murder. And the best part? The story is told from her older brother's point of view. Poor Skyler Rampike! First, he's maimed in a gymnastics accident, then he plays second fiddle to his little sis, a skating prodigy, and finally, he is left on his own to mourn the...more

2 likes · like · see review

Jan 09, 2009 Kate Walker rated it 2 of 5 stars

This one sucked me in like all the rest, but 100 pages from the end I'm done. It is very similar in tone and style to, Blonde, which reimagined the life and death of Marilyn Monroe. This one gives the same treatment to the life and death of Jonbenet Ramsey. I was intrigued by the portrayal of the dysfunctional family and the dreadful stage mother phenomenon. However, the murder of the little girl was so horrible it gave me an anxiety attack and I finally realized I should just stop reading the d...more

2 likes · like · see review

Jan 17, 2009 Ginger rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is an over-the-top fictionalization of the Jon Benet Ramsey murder. JCO uses a some obnoxious devices, like footnotes and shifting POV, but she's just so damn good I couldn't put it down. This book is darkly humorous. It's kind of stomach-turning...but in a fun way.

3 likes · like · see review

Aug 31, 2008 Koeeoaddi rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: recreational-outrage, loathsome-characters

Repetitive, intermittantly hilarious, corrosive as battery acid, My Sister, My Love is JonBenet Ramsey's story, told by Burke Ramsey, thinly disguised as 'Skyler Rampike' with the author herself lurking around the edges of the narrative. If the solution in the book is correct, then 5 stars for the clever Ms Oates and I'm not going to Hell for laughing like a loon at one of the funeral scenes. If she's wrong, then 3 very mean spirited bitchy stars and a wish for 150 fewer pages.*

*Yes, I know that...more

1 like · like · see review

Oct 13, 2008 Sarah rated it 2 of 5 stars

having just finished this book, i'm a bit resentful it took me all 500+ pages to decide i really don't like it. oates' narrator is a very troubled (tragic to almost the point of comedy) 19-yr old boy who continually stresses how he doesn't really know how to write. his constant asides and self-evalutaion get really annoying, besides from making the reader squint to read the small, self-conscious italics. who is joyce kidding? she's written more than shakespeare, so the whole 'forgive my inexperi...more

2 likes · like · see review

Jan 12, 2009 Marie rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: kindle-edition

Repetitive, overloaded, too long by half, and crammed with pointless footnotes, this book was infuriating because it had big swaths of brilliance and could have been great with some judicious pruning. Unfortunately, any brilliance was almost immediately ruined by ridiculous, self-conscious chatter. If I had been reading a paper copy of this book, I think I would have been compelled to break out a red pen and start editing the damn thing.

A note to Kindle readers: this book will give your clickwhe...more

3 likes · like · see review

Jan 31, 2009 Laurel-Rain rated it 4 of 5 stars

In this dark novel of family dysfunction at its most terrifying, Joyce Carol Oates weaves a tale of a wealthy suburban family, obsessed with its youngest family member's stardom as an ice-skating princess, and how the older sibling, awkward and unable to keep up with the family image, is shunted aside.

Young Bliss Rampike ("Bliss" being a stage name) is pushed to excel. Dolled up (literally), she resembles a porcelain image. Nothing about her seems real, and when any possibility of a real girl e...more In this dark novel of family dysfunction at its most terrifying, Joyce Carol Oates weaves a tale of a wealthy suburban family, obsessed with its youngest family member's stardom as an ice-skating princess, and how the older sibling, awkward and unable to keep up with the family image, is shunted aside.

Young Bliss Rampike ("Bliss" being a stage name) is pushed to excel. Dolled up (literally), she resembles a porcelain image. Nothing about her seems real, and when any possibility of a real girl emerges, her mother, terrifyingly adroit in her stage-mother role, is there to prod her on.

The older brother Skylar is also there, with his dark thoughts and terrifying moments of clumsiness. In family portraits for the media, he is pushed to remove the "pain" look from his face.

Behind these moments, of course, Skylar also remembers a time --before Bliss, before his awkwardness -- when he was "the little man", his mother's adored child.

This could simply be a tale of sibling rivalry, or one of living in the eye of the media. But it all becomes "tabloid hell", when one mysterious night, Bliss is found dead in the furnace room.

Most of the book is presented from the perspective of Skylar Rampike, who takes the reader down a long and winding road of awkwardness, terror, and emotional disturbance...However, the story is uneven, diverging frequently, and full of footnotes to explain and describe events.

At the end, something of the mystery is revealed, but many unanswered questions remain. Is anything true? Is it all just a fabrication by a disturbed young man? Did the young boy suffer from more than emotional abuse at the hands of his mother? The relationship is twisted to the point that Skylar "leaves" the family shortly after the murder...first to be hospitalized and then for many years to reside in "special schools"...But even after he is an adult, he stays
away. The reader suspects this detachment is more than escape from the media storm...He seems to be struggling to save his very soul.

In this family horror tale, resembling the story of Jon-Benet Ramsey, the beauty queen murdered at approximately the same time as the child in this book, Ms. Oates has crafted a truly ingenious description of family life gone awry. At times, I found the story tedious, with its winding and weaving down many paths...but I couldn't put it down or discard it. I had to plod along to the gory finish.

I would not recommend this book for those who are in search of light-hearted stories with a happy ending. The reader has to be enthralled by the pursuit of the answers the book can provide in order to hang in there.

I was unsure of how to rate this book, since it would not have wide appeal. I decided on four stars...it is excellent writing and a beautifully crafted exploration of the psyche of the characters...but many would find it tedious and rambling.

Ms. Oates is not everyone's "cup of tea", and after reading this one, I'll probably wait awhile before submerging myself in another of her books, although I have several awaiting me on my To Be Read stack.
(less)

like · see review

Dec 18, 2008 Judith rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a fascinating story, loosely based on the Jon-Benet Ramsey incident, with enough changes in the characters and setting to avoid liability for defamation. Told from the perspective of the older brother, it was heartbreaking and suspenseful. Raised in a middle-class family that was clawing its way to the top of the financial and social ladder, the brother, "Skyler Rampike" describes his parents' cruel efforts to make him into a child superstar athlete until his sister, "Bliss" displays gre...more

like · see review

Mar 18, 2013 Claudia rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: letteratura-americana, 5-stelle-più-1

Questo è il secondo libro della Oates che leggo, il secondo libro che mi ritrovo ad amare. Ci ho messo quasi due settimane a finirlo, ma non per la mole - 667 pagine - perchè in realtà non volevo terminare di leggerlo, non volevo lasciare la famiglia Rampike.
La trama e la bislacca copertina (quella bambola/bambina è inquietante) è ispirata ad un fatto realmente accaduto in America (e mai risolto), la misteriosa morte di una bambina che partecipava ai concorsi di bellezza nonostante la sua tenera...more

Questo è il secondo libro della Oates che leggo, il secondo libro che mi ritrovo ad amare. Ci ho messo quasi due settimane a finirlo, ma non per la mole - 667 pagine - perchè in realtà non volevo terminare di leggerlo, non volevo lasciare la famiglia Rampike.
La trama e la bislacca copertina (quella bambola/bambina è inquietante) è ispirata ad un fatto realmente accaduto in America (e mai risolto), la misteriosa morte di una bambina che partecipava ai concorsi di bellezza nonostante la sua tenera età.
La Oates anche questa volta imposta un romanzo bastato sui sentimenti, sulle contraddizioni, sulle colpe, i pentimenti e sopratutto sulla psicologia dei suoi personaggi.
Betsy e Bix Rampike sono due genitori americani modello, vivono in una bella villa, hanno due figli, una domestica e una buona vita sociale. O meglio, questo è quello che crede chi non li conosce. Betsy in realtà è una stella mancata del pattinaggio artistico e cerca in tutti i modi di far diventare il primogenito Skyler un grande pattinatore. Ma Skyler non è capace e non pattina bene, allora i genitori modello obbligano Skyler ad andare in palestra, ma qui subisce un grave incidente che lo renderà menomato e zoppo per tutta la vita. Per fortuna c'è Edna Louise, o meglio, Bliss - scusate - che risolleva le sorti della famiglia. Bliss pattina come un angelo, anche se ha solo 4 anni. Per due anni Bliss calca le piste di pattinaggio degli stati orientali e vince quasi tutte le gare. Finché... finché non viene trovata morta nel locale caldaia, in casa, una notte di gennaio. Povera Bliss... ma... chi l'ha uccisa? La stampa si accanisce su un pedofilo locale, ma la verità è ben diversa.

In questo splendido romanzo, la Oates affresca una società americana dei primi anni '90. Il romanzo vuole anche essere una critica alla società che sfrutta i bambini come 'piccoli fenomeni da baraccone', privandoli delle cose che per diritto dovrebbero avere tutti i bambini. Una società che intossica i propri figli con antidepressivi in tenera età e dove i problemi si affogano con i tradimenti o con l'alcool.
Joyce Carol Oates per me ha firmato un altro romanzo meraviglioso/imponente/incredibile, un romanzo che diventerà una pietra miliare della letteratura americana.
(less)

like · see review

Jan 24, 2013 Stefanie rated it 2 of 5 stars

Well, this is what happens when you pick up a random book from the library. I'm so back and forth on this book. On the one hand, I was compelled- I wanted to see how the story played out. On the other hand, the style was frustrating and I'm not entirely sure the ending was worth it.

My Sister, My Love is a fictional story based on what I assume is the Jon Benet-Ramsey (No idea how that's spelled) case. I barely remember that case- I would have been about the same age as the narrator, 9 or 10, whe...more Well, this is what happens when you pick up a random book from the library. I'm so back and forth on this book. On the one hand, I was compelled- I wanted to see how the story played out. On the other hand, the style was frustrating and I'm not entirely sure the ending was worth it.

My Sister, My Love is a fictional story based on what I assume is the Jon Benet-Ramsey (No idea how that's spelled) case. I barely remember that case- I would have been about the same age as the narrator, 9 or 10, when it happened. I know it was a Big Thing and there was a lot of tabloid press on it; hell, even today I can picture the little girl, who (not accidentally) looks like Bliss Rampike. This fictional book even makes an allusion to the OJ Simpson case, another thing that I know of but very little specifically about (although I do know he is indirectly responsible for the Kardashians, and for that he deserves eight consecutive life sentences with no chance of parole.)

Anyway, regardless of just how much is grounded in reality (i.e. the barest bones of the premise), the book was... frustrating. Skyler's first person narrative really takes off sometimes, for several chapters at a time even. Though disjointed, many of the scenes felt realistic and deeply profound, especially those from the early years of Skyler's life. The problem is, he is writing about the past with the perspective of the future, as he CONSTANTLY FUCKING REMINDS US. I don't mind a little meta in a story, or an unreliable narrator, and I get that he spends a lot of his life steeped in psychotheraputic drugs, but it's all too much at once. It so jarringly takes you out of the story and ruins the pacing and legitimacy of some especially dynamic moments. While I have no doubt it was done on purpose, the technique was overused and felt incredibly trite by the end of this 560 page behemoth.

Additionally, the characters are sort of terrible. At first I was okay with it- not everyone needs to be perfect; kids don't have to respect their parents; adults DO managed to fuck up kids pretty bad, even those who "mean well." But by the end of the book, everyone feels like a caricature of an actual human being. Again, back to Skyler, I understand that he's supposed to be a fairly young man writing this novel, but you get the idea that despite the lapses in his history, he did receive a pretty decent education. Thus, his voice felt completely out of place. Though I wasn't nineteen SUPER recently, nor did my family undergo tragedy in quite the same way, nor was I medicated so thoroughly, I still knew enough nineteen-year-olds with similar histories (okay, minus the slain sister, but again, you'd be surprised how well people can handle tragedy) who would write a less self-depricating story than that one. Sure, adults fuck kids up, but smart kids can be surprisingly resilient. It felt like Oates couldn't decide whether or not she wanted Skyler to actually be smart. She also took Betsey to such extremes with her Christian mission and her eventual demise that, despite the fact I'm all about rooting against the zealous, blind follower/exploiter of religion, I didn't feel vindicated. Hard to explain that one without spoilers.

Despite my many frustrations with the book, I was pretty taken with it while I could remain immersed in it, which lent me towards a higher rating- until I reached the conclusion, which felt somehow rushed and flat and also, in the last scene, too trite and impossible and yet predictable. I think the most frustrating thing about this is that any complaints I have about this book- that it was pedestrian, melodramatic yet somehow blasé, and ultimately fell flat of what I believe it was aiming for- were already addressed and summarily dismissed by the narrator. If your book has flaws, don't write them off in a footnote, do something to fix them. That, ultimately, led to me ranking it a two instead of a three.(less)

like · see review

Oct 28, 2012 Grant rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. My Sister, My Love
By Joyce Carol Oates

My Sister, My Love is a book that was told a different way than anyone has heard of before. It was told by Bliss Rampikes, not so famous brother Skyler. The book was about how Bliss started to become so famous that she started to have people becoming obsessed with her. One day, her parents couldn’t find her so they searched the whole house and found her dead in the heating room. In the end, when everything falls apart in Skyler’s life, such as reading the ne...more My Sister, My Love
By Joyce Carol Oates

My Sister, My Love is a book that was told a different way than anyone has heard of before. It was told by Bliss Rampikes, not so famous brother Skyler. The book was about how Bliss started to become so famous that she started to have people becoming obsessed with her. One day, her parents couldn’t find her so they searched the whole house and found her dead in the heating room. In the end, when everything falls apart in Skyler’s life, such as reading the news tabloids and finding out who actually killed his beloved sister, his life turns around when he never thought it would.

Skyler is the reason I enjoyed this book so much because his life in a way relates to mine. When he talks about the things that are going on around him they are so true and he’s really not afraid to say anything. There’ a lot more going on in his life than what people around him know and you’ll learn all about it.

The book, My Sister, My Love really tells you a lot about how Bliss had so many struggles through her career of being a famous ice skater. Joyce Carol, really related this book to the actual life of Jon Benet Ramsey. In Bliss’s career, she had a lot of problems going on at home, such as her mom wanting to be really popular in the town of Fair Hills, New Jersey.

The theme of the story is about how one thing can be perceived in many different ways. This is why My Sister, My Love is so true to everyone’s lives,because everything is taken a different way by people. The ways things are taken differently in this book, is how the all of tabloids had their own say on the murder and how they made up their own stories of who actually killed her.

This story is dated back to 1997, but this kind of investigation goes on all of the time. Any famous or not so famous crime, can be taken in all sorts of ways with people, tabloids, etc.

In one word that I would describe this book, is that it is very heart-wrenching. If you want to know who the author thinks the killer is, and find out what Skyler thinks of this, you’ll just have to read the book!
(less)

like · see review

May 23, 2012 Sara rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Splendido affresco della medio-alta borghesia americana, che nonostante tutto mi affascina sempre. Villette nei quartieri residenziali, golf club, baseball sui megaschermi e psicofarmaci che curano ogni sorta di finta patologia. Bigottismo e fanatismo religioso, affiancati da adulterio e filmini porno. Competizione e desiderio di arrivare sempre più in alto. L'esasperazione dell'apparire.

"Sorella, mio unico amore" racconta della morte della "bellissimissima" Bliss Rampike, piccola campionessa d...more

like · see review

Feb 20, 2012 Judy Croome rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

JUST TO ASSURE THE READER: YOUR EXPERIENCE OF THE BOOK WILL BE DIFFERENT TO MINE. Never will you know how many “anonymous reader-reviewers” (including your cybercesspoolspace so-called friends) will press the “NO-this-is-not-helpful” button on your review and if asked why, why say NO, why hurt another person, the answer is Because you and I are both anonymous to each other, that’s why.

 And, in case you’re wondering at the postmodernist/strange/odd shape this review will take, the canny reader...more JUST TO ASSURE THE READER: YOUR EXPERIENCE OF THE BOOK WILL BE DIFFERENT TO MINE. Never will you know how many “anonymous reader-reviewers” (including your cybercesspoolspace so-called friends) will press the “NO-this-is-not-helpful” button on your review and if asked why, why say NO, why hurt another person, the answer is Because you and I are both anonymous to each other, that’s why.

 And, in case you’re wondering at the postmodernist/strange/odd shape this review will take, the canny reader (of which, yes, there are some) will know why. The rest of you, like poor befuddled me: read on! All will be revealed.

This long (very long/enormously long/mind-numbingly long)  book of nearly 600 pages is, despite the very prominent legal disclaimer that says “it is a work of the imagination solely” Oates’ re-invention of the well-publicised Colorado murder of child model JonBenét Ramsey.

 Perhaps I’m being too harsh here. What do you think, reader? Has five long days reading this book soured my perception? I did, after all, find the first 200 pages a fascinating work of genius. Perhaps I suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or I Like My Books Shorter Disorder (ILMBSD) or even (horrible thought) Can’t Concentrate For Too Long Disorder (CFFTLD) which negatively impacted my enjoyment?

 Hard to believe that the real “infamous” All-American family on which this rambling/frenetic/dare-I-say-it boring novel is based didn’t sue the author. The parallels between the JonBenét Ramsey case and Skyler Rampike’s narrative of the murder of his younger sister, 6 year-old ice skating champion Bliss (previously known as Edna Louise) are remarkably similar (Remember this character, readers, she is important.)

Told “mainly” or “mostly” from the viewpoint of almost 20-year-old dropout/nutty/creepy Skyler Rampike looking back on his childhood leading up the life–defining moment when his young celebrity sister (Do you remember her?) is murdered. Leaping back and forth between his present and past (before-murder past and after-murder past), it’s difficult to find a single appealing character.

Perhaps the childrens’ neuroses can be blamed on the parents. But, as Pastor Bob finally says to Skyler when the (somewhat predictable) mystery of Who Killed JonBenét?  is finally revealed and Skyler turns to him for advice, “You’re not a child, Skyler, what do you expect me to tell you?” So, dear readers, can you see where I’m going with this? Despite the occasional glimpse - and the surprisingly optimistic note of his story’s ending - Skyler is as unappealing and screwed-up as the rest of the people inhabiting this bitter, dark (and in no way as tasty as bitter dark chocolate) novel.

 Oh NO! Did I say JonBenét? I meant Who Killed Bliss Rampike?

The caustic humour stopped being funny long before the end. The only irony I could find was that in Oates’ malicious portrayal of the Tabloid Media she condemned the very thing she does herself in this novel (and BLONDE and BLACK WATER). She takes a personal tragedy (and even if the family were involved in the poor kid’s murder, it’s still a personal tragedy) and picks picks picks over it (like Skyler in his not-good moments picks picks picks his face and scalp raw). Like the tabloids she condemns, Oates puts her own spin on it, never mind how it will affect those who are intimately involved in the story (and we all know, despite the LARGE legal disclaimer, it’s the Ramsey family, of which the father and brother of poor JonBenét are still around somewhere in America.)

 Admittedly the Gutter Press should stay where they belong…in the gutter. The Press has such power and that power is too often abused and corrupted in the heady rush to publish an ever-more salacious story. But what of the readers who buy those scandal sheets? Just like Bix Rampike (who after suing and suing) ended up investing in some of the more profitable tabloids, surely the tabloid readers themselves carry some blame?<?i>

Ultimately, I endured this novel as part of some research I’m doing. But the repetitive/brutal/deleterious (you see, I can use Big Words too!) tone of the novel; the author’s inability to sustain the voice of the sometimes nine-year-old, at other times nearly twenty-year-old Skyler Rampike; and the too-clever tricks and games played in the text (such as black-outs and parenthesis and footnotes to footnotes ) all contributed to the general confusion and pretentiousness of the novel. (Did the author really think to impress us with the oh-so-casual mention of the intellectual and minimalist Arvo Pärt?) This novel would have greatly benefited from a ruthless editor, who slashed 50 000/100 000/ 150 000/take your pick words from the draft manuscript and saved us the effort of wading through the mammoth book. (Note to self: Another advantage of the Kindle is that I didn’t get wrist sprain from holding this gigantic tome.)

 Do you remember earlier I said all would be revealed?  I hope you had the deurhoevermoed that I did, and have continued reading until the end of my review. (I hope too, that you’ll press the YES button, when asked if this review was helpful!)

 I, too, can use strange foreign words to impress upon you, my dear reader, how very erudite and knowledgeable I (as the author imitating a supposedly dyslexic young boy) can be! This word is Afrikaans and, loosely translated, means “endurance.”

 Now it is time, dear loyal reader, to reveal why I have written my review in this weird/strange/odd way. I have imitated/copied/satirised the style of MY SISTER, MY LOVE. If you LOVED this review, you will (I promise) thoroughly enjoy MY SISTER, MY LOVE (and will probably give it 5 stars.) If you AB-so-LUTELY hated the way I ‘ve written this review: run! Run away from this book! It may be the death of you. It was almost the death of me but I’m a tough (and simple) boere meisie from South Africa and I survived to write this review. I hope it helps you make your decision whether to buy this book or not!
(less)

1 like · like · see review

Sep 17, 2011 Talia Carner rated it 5 of 5 stars

How does a family turn dysfunctional? In this wonderful novel, no doubt inspired by the JonBenet Ramsey case, Oates explores the intimate family dynamics that cause the tragic death of the family's star--the six-years old ice-skating prodigy.

The same intensity that compels parents to push their children to the highest achievement is the same intensity that also becomes too heavy for the family's complex, yet fragile, fabric to bear.

Each parents' view of own self, disappointment from what they...more How does a family turn dysfunctional? In this wonderful novel, no doubt inspired by the JonBenet Ramsey case, Oates explores the intimate family dynamics that cause the tragic death of the family's star--the six-years old ice-skating prodigy.

The same intensity that compels parents to push their children to the highest achievement is the same intensity that also becomes too heavy for the family's complex, yet fragile, fabric to bear.

Each parents' view of own self, disappointment from what they could have been or would have liked to become, traps the children. In this novel, the father's athletic prowess turn detrimental for the young boy, Skyler, who would be forever maimed. But then, the little girl, Marie-Louise-renamed-Bliss, begins to blossom as the athlete her brother could not become and the kind of star ice-skater her mother had once wished to be....

The awkward nineteen-year old Skyler is the narrator of the story, the formerly graceless and uncoordinated child who watched with envy as his mother bestowd all her attention on his younger sister, whom he had loved dearly and is still haunted by her life and death. Skyler's voice is as strong as it is perceptive of the nuances that made up his parents' dance of marriage. Power-struggle, intimacy, ambition, religiosity, self-worth (or lack of it,) all come to play in this excellent story that examines the catastrophic results of the parents' drive on their children--and on their own lives

Unlike some reviewers, I am not bothered by the inspiration for this novel being quite obviously the unsolved murder of the Ramsey case. As an author, I see the curiousity in crawling inside the family home to undersand the dynamics that might possibly lead to such tragedy. Joyce Carol Oates takes this story to an entire new place both geographically and artistically. The characters are delineated and stand completely on their own, their dynamics uniquely the product of their respective histories and personalities. The father's pompousness and the mother's gauche social ambitions concoct a poisonous cocktail that seeps into their children's veins.

My heart went to the six-year-old Bliss when she was at the height of her career. Driven to long hours of practice, outwardly pampered yet manipulated, cut off from other children, dragged to those doctors and therapists the mother finds who conspire to ignore the child's injuries, frailty, learning disability, and painful isolation as she is "home-schooled." This lonely child's only contact with normalcy is her brother Skyler, merely a few years older and ill-prepared to take the emotional burden of his little sister's fears and needs.

I only found the ending to be dragging. Skyler's life as a misfit teenager, while yet another exploration of the family's disastrous affect on the children, is less interesting. Not so the mother's reinventing herself time and again, living off the legacy of her dead daughter, cashing on it yet again to make herself the star she had always wanted to become.

(less)

1 like · like · see review

Jul 28, 2011 Allison rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is what I think Oates does best: take a true story/event that we all know about, fictionalize it, and write it from the perspective of someone whose head we could never get in to. Tthe best of the lot is the acclaimed 2001 Pulitzer Prize finalist Blonde, which is the story of the life of Marilyn Monroe, written from Marilyn's perspective but not in the first person. Oates uses composite characters and situations, but the result is so raw and heartbreaking and vicious and ultimately -- true....more This is what I think Oates does best: take a true story/event that we all know about, fictionalize it, and write it from the perspective of someone whose head we could never get in to. Tthe best of the lot is the acclaimed 2001 Pulitzer Prize finalist Blonde, which is the story of the life of Marilyn Monroe, written from Marilyn's perspective but not in the first person. Oates uses composite characters and situations, but the result is so raw and heartbreaking and vicious and ultimately -- true. Following in close second is Black Water, a retelling of the story of the Chappaquiddick incident which involved Ted Kennedy and the drowning of a young woman who was with him when he drove off a bridge. The novel is told from the perspective of the young woman, in first person. It's so tragic and honestly rendered and the life of this woman is memorialized in the novel in a way that it was not in real life.

This novel, My Sister, My Love, is great, but not on par with the others of its genre. There is a satiric edge to the novel that takes away from the tragedy of the storyline. The book is based on the JonBenet Ramsey case, and focuses on the point of view of the older brother of JonBenet. Oates wants to make a point here about the excesses within American culture: too much money, too much emphasis on status, too much stress on children, too many wealthy people getting away with murder. She makes the point, but it is at the expense of the reader developing any sense of identification or empathy with the characters, even the JonBenet character, who is obviously innocent of the sins of her family. The craft of the novel is laudable -- it is presented as a sort of journal written by the older brother and flashes forward and back with heavy use of footnotes. There are handwritten passages, pages that look like there are stains on them, crossed out words, etc. This adds a note of realism, yet it is overshadowed by the ridiculousness of the characters and those around them. Caricatures instead of characters. It's a shame, because the despite the media frenzy around this story and all the reasons our attention should not have been riveted to the twists and turns of the case, there was a 6-year-old child who was raped and murdered. The savagery of that fact is blunted in the novel, despite the fact that the novel reveals the killer, something that may never happen in real life.

(less)

like · see review

Feb 21, 2011 Roberta rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2010

Faccio una premessa: i romanzi della Oates non sono semplici. Non lo sono per la scrittura e la struttura complesse, ma anche e soprattutto per gli argomenti. I suoi romanzi sono sempre oscuri e gotici e trattano storie difficili e dolorose, finalizzate anche alla denuncia sociale.
In questo romanzo la Oates romanza la storia di JonBenet Ramsey (una giovanissima reginetta di bellezza professionale di soli sei anni, trovata strangolata nella cantina dei genitori la notte di Natale, omicidio che n...more Faccio una premessa: i romanzi della Oates non sono semplici. Non lo sono per la scrittura e la struttura complesse, ma anche e soprattutto per gli argomenti. I suoi romanzi sono sempre oscuri e gotici e trattano storie difficili e dolorose, finalizzate anche alla denuncia sociale.
In questo romanzo la Oates romanza la storia di JonBenet Ramsey (una giovanissima reginetta di bellezza professionale di soli sei anni, trovata strangolata nella cantina dei genitori la notte di Natale, omicidio che non è mai stato risolto), denunciando la rapacità e la venalità della borghesia americana. Bix e Betsey vivono a Fair Hill insieme ai figli Skyler e Edna Louise. La casa a Fair Hill, New Jersey, è solo una delle tappe dell'inarrestabile ascesa di Bix Rampike, vorace uomo di successo. Betsey non riesce a inserirsi nella società snob di Fair Hill e quando scopre l'incredibile bravura della figlia nel pattinaggio decide di sfruttarla per la sua personale arrampicata sociale, stravolgendo la vita della figlia (addirittura al punto di cambiarle il nome in Bliss).
La voce narrante è quella di Skyler Rampike, il fratello di Edna Louise/Bliss, stravolto dai sensi di colpa nei confronti della sorellina morta, una morte che non è mai stata davvero chiarita, anche se un noto pedofilo della zona, dopo aver confessato l'omicidio, è stato condannato alla pena di morte. Il dolore e l'inferno della stampa scandalistica dividono i Rampike sopravvissuti: Bix e Betsey si separano e Skyler viene sballottato fra cliniche case di cura e costosissime scuole private.
A dieci anni dalla morte di Bliss, Skyler, sospettato (almeno dalla stampa scandalistica) di essere l'omicida e sconvolto dai sensi di colpa e dall'impossibilità di ricordare gli avvenimenti di quella notte, decide di scrivere la sua storia, e quindi la storia di sua sorella, nel disperato tentativo di esorcizzare i suoi demoni, raccontando così anche la sua infanzia persa nel tentativo di soddisfare le esigenti aspettative dei genitori.
Nella scrittura complessa, ripetitiva, piena di note a piè di pagina e spesso semidelirante di Skyler, conosciamo a fondo i Rampike e la loro turpitudine. Anche gli altri personaggi che gravitano intorno ai protagonisti sono totalmente egoisti, narcisisti e soprattutto amorali. In alternativa, sono persone talmente disturbate psicologicamente da non poter essere catalogate propriamente.
La Oates denuncia la tendenza a trattare bambine di pochi anni come se fossero adulte, non solo truccandole e sottoponendole a tours de force estetici, ma anche sottoponendole a stress psicologici intensi grazie all'altissima competizione (nel caso di Bliss, si tratta del pattinaggio su ghiaccio). Inoltre l'autrice denuncia una società quasi grottesca nei suoi comportamenti assurdi e predatori finalizzati soprattutto al vuoto riconoscimento sociale, alla fama, al successo.
Il romanzo è molto sfaccettato: se il tema principale è quello dell'omicidio della bambina, altre tematiche importanti e oscure sono affrontate, quali le malattie mentali (specialmente nei giovanissimi), cattiva educazione da parte dei genitori, arrivismo sociale, fame di successo e notorietà e il potere dei media. Nonostante io creda sia stato molto crudele riservare questo trattamento ai genitori della vera Bliss, sicuramente questo è un libro che affascina e suscita molte riflessioni, merita di essere letto.(less)

like · see review

Jan 25, 2011 Laysee rated it 1 of 5 stars

My Sister, My Love read like one painful, exhausting marathon. Skyler Rampike, the 19-year-old narrator, sought to make sense of the mystery surrounding his sister’s death. Six-year-old Bliss, a child prodigy skater, was found murdered in her home. The murder case was never solved and Bliss’s death plunged the family into tabloid hell and irrevocable dysfunction. Betsy and Bix Rampike were portrayed almost stereotypically as self-seeking and pretentious upper middle class parents who wanted to l...more

like · see review

Oct 05, 2010 Sarah rated it 1 of 5 stars

The reason why I recommend J.C.O to every single person who reads books is that she has the incredible and uncanny ability to write about the God awful and profane (usually the place in our souls where violent destruction and lust intersect) while at the same time treating her subjects with compassion. This book disappoints, in that while its subject is truly a God-awful and profane mess (the world of child celebrity as experienced by a little boy whose 6 year old sister is an ice skating celebr...more The reason why I recommend J.C.O to every single person who reads books is that she has the incredible and uncanny ability to write about the God awful and profane (usually the place in our souls where violent destruction and lust intersect) while at the same time treating her subjects with compassion. This book disappoints, in that while its subject is truly a God-awful and profane mess (the world of child celebrity as experienced by a little boy whose 6 year old sister is an ice skating celebrity and who is tragically and violently murdered), there is no attempt at creating any kind of humane or compassionate characters, beyond the (unreliable?) narrator (the young boy as a 19 year old adult, ten years after the murder).

Heavily modelend on the Jon Benet Ramsey murder, this book trades in a lot of stereotypes about upper-middle class social climbers, bourgeosie pride, prejudice and ambition, and the underlying greed and vanity which act as a corrosive rot beneath such carefully shined surfaces. As a reader, there is a morbid pleasure, perhaps, in the well-written, snide observations about the vanity and moral vacuity and sheer ridiculousness of these people- but the book never moves beyond that place, and even a reader as class conscious and bitter as this one cannot believe in characters so utterly lacking any redemptive traits.

It is as if, in the lives of adults who push their children into stardom for the sake of their own private vanities and ambitions, J.C.O has met her waterloo- the one group of people who are so depraved that even she can not find any catch hold for her sympathies. You can't fault her for this- it's an easy enough group to loath. But at the same time, her writing is so dense and beautiful and challenging and good, it's a serious disappointment to come out of the back end of 600 pages for cheap moral superiority, particularly when you have come to value J.C.O for her ability to show the common threads that bind our contemporary monsters- our racists and rapists and skinheads and incest victims turned sociopaths- with our everyday, ordinary selves.

(less)

1 like · like · see review

Jul 15, 2009 Lisa Mettauer rated it 3 of 5 stars

I’m not a person who is fascinated by creepy news stories - celebrity trials, serial killers, mass murders - I don’t want to know about any of it. So I can’t explain why I was attracted to one of Joyce Carol Oates‘ latest novels, My Sister, My Love: The Intimate Story of Skyler Rampike. It’s a story based on the life and murder of JonBenet Ramsey, the six-year-old beauty queen who was murdered in her own house, and whose killer was never found.

In this novel the Rampikes live in New Jersey. “Bix,...more I’m not a person who is fascinated by creepy news stories - celebrity trials, serial killers, mass murders - I don’t want to know about any of it. So I can’t explain why I was attracted to one of Joyce Carol Oates‘ latest novels, My Sister, My Love: The Intimate Story of Skyler Rampike. It’s a story based on the life and murder of JonBenet Ramsey, the six-year-old beauty queen who was murdered in her own house, and whose killer was never found.

In this novel the Rampikes live in New Jersey. “Bix,” a tireless skirt chaser, is climbing up the corporate ladder in a bioengineering firm; Betsey is a desperate social climber who keeps lists of the families she longs to be associated with in her upperclass neighborhood. She uses her children in her attempts to elevate her social status; first she pushes oldest child Skylar into gymnastics against his will, until an accident sidelines him. Next, when Edna Louise show promise as an ice skater, Betsey shunts Skyler aside and focuses obsessively on “Bliss” (Edna Louise’s skating name, delivered to Betsey by God).

Soon Bliss, with her dyed hair, ‘tasteful’ makeup, and provocative outfits, is winning skating competitions and her fame is spread beyond her neighborhood. The family environment becomes more toxic than ever; the children are medicated for syndromes you’ve never heard of to keep them under tight control. Bix is never around, and neither is Betsey, for that matter, as far as Sky is concerned. Poor little Bliss, transformed into a skating automaton, loves to skate, but is petrified that she will fall, and skates despite pain and injury. But then she’s murdered.

Sky narrates the story from 10 years later, when he is 19. He hasn’t lived with his parents since the murder, having been shipped off to a variety of private schools that protect the privacy of scandalized families. He survived his toxic family, but barely - he’s emotionally scarred and barely cleaned of his drug addiction. His cynical, grief-and guilt-laden voice transmits the pain he has endured all these years. His impressions of his family life from the viewpoint of a 9-year-old boy, his confusion over what happened on the night of the murder, and his painful forced separation from his parents sear into your heart. Oates’ commentary on our neurotic, fame and wealth obsessed society is spot on.

But the novel was overlong and could have used some editting (How can little ol’ me say that about JCO?!) The first 100 pages of this novel were gripping and compelling, but then the book seemed to wither under the repetitious cynicism of Skyler’s voice, the intrusion of footnotes, and the occasional stylistic tricks (eg. a story within the story). Having said that, it is a novel that has stuck with me for a while. It’s gotten many “starred” reviews from critics, and you can’t help but feel compassion and distress for Sky and his horrible aloneness. Finally, Oates gives us a resolution to the murder, which doesn’t exist for the JonBenet Ramsey case. You decide
(less)

like · see review

Aug 10, 2012 Mary Frances rated it 4 of 5 stars

I thought this was a fascinating book- written in a very unique style and with a narrator who is both troubled and unreliable, and yet perhaps very reliable? It's heartbreaking, the story of a young by whose life is ruined by damaged parents and the tragic murder of his little sister, an exploited chid whose figure skating "career" as age six is only slightly less troubling than the outright exploitation of Jon-Benet Ramsey, the inspiration for this book. Some might think the book in poor taste...more

like · see review

Sep 08, 2012 Fiona rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is perhaps one of the most engaging and well written books I have read in a long time. The way the author gets into the main character's head is fascinating, and gives a unique view into a fully visualised boy going through the most challenging aspects of his life. Skyler jumps off the pages at you, as does his father Bix Rampike, whose bullying, chauvanistic views bounce nicely off of the bitter, naive sarcasm of Skyler and the innocence of his younger sister Bliss. The only character that...more

1 like · like · see review

Sep 11, 2012 Jim Leckband rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

"Dysfunctional families are all alike. Ditto 'survivors.'"

Ha - take that Tolstoy! We are in the twentieth century now - no "happy" or "unhappy" families - just "dysfunctional". Why read Anna Karenina when Jerry Springer is just a flick away?

And that in a nutshell is the challenge that Oates presents to us. Written as a first-person narrative it recalls (and alludes to) many of the classic youth narratives such as The Catcher in the Rye, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Infinite Jest and Great ...more

like · see review

Aug 26, 2011 Sarah B. rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: my-collection

Funny story: I brought Lark and Termite to read on my vacation, but I just could not work with it. Not at the airport, not on the plane, and, finally, not during the incredible crazy kinky drunken SUPER LOUD neighbours' Saturday night romp at the hotel. The next day I went to a used book store and plucked My Sister, My Love: The Intimate Story of Skyler Rampike of the shelf almost instantly. It was exactly what I needed.

This was my first Oates novel and I loved it. I loved the blend of agony and...more

like · see review

Aug 06, 2011 Martin added it

Shelves: reading-group-book

For some reason, I have never even considered reading something my J.C.Oates. I have no idea why; she is such a substantial and natural part of any bookstore - maybe for that reason. Anyway, I'm glad my reading group made me read this.

The story - which I won't repeat here, since you can read that in any online bookstore - is most certainly not an uplifting one. So saying I enjoyed reading it is a bit misleading, because the story is nothing to enjoy; it's sad, heartbreaking, and leaves me angry...more

like · see review

title link	preview: My Sister, My Love: The Intimate Story of Skyler Rampike
avg rating	preview: My Sister, My Love: The Intimate Story of Skyler Rampike Goodreads rating: 3.37 (1566 ratings)
small image	preview: click here [close]
med image	preview: click here [close]
BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2254352.My_Sister_My_Love?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1266674775l/2254352.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2254352.My_Sister_My_Love?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]My Sister, My Love: The Intimate Story of Skyler Rampike by Joyce Carol Oates[/url]

My Sister, My Love: The Intimate Story of Skyler Rampike

Friend Reviews

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topic
Discuss This Book

combine
Other Editions (23)

Genres

Readers also enjoyed similar books

About Joyce Carol Oates

Books by Joyce Carol Oates

Share This Book

Share This Book on Your Website

Trivia About Sisareni, rakkaani