Be sexy but not sexual. Don't be a prude but don't be a slut. These are the cultural messages that barrage teenage girls. In movies and magazine... read full description
reviews
May 29, 2009
Nicola
rated it: 
When researching Dilemmas of Desire, Deborah Tolman expected to uncover a wealth of feelings about sexuality from teenage girls who had never had the opportunity to reveal or interrogate their sexual identity. Instead, she found a number of girls who were so detached from their sexuality that they had “silent bodies” that deadened any sexual feelings. They described their sexual experiences in terms of “it just happened” and “I just went along with what he wanted”.
Tolman’s “silent bo More...
Tolman’s “silent bo More...
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Apr 01, 2010
Michael
rated it: 
This was an eye-opening book for me in terms of female sexuality for both teens and adults, as well as just what sexuality is. The book made me aware of some blind spots I have, even though most people would consider me to be a Sensitive New Age Guy in many respects.
Executive summary: important reading for school counselors, teachers, parents, coaches, youth workers, and anyone pursuing women's studies. There is a great deal of dysfunction in our society, and this book sheds some ligh More...
Executive summary: important reading for school counselors, teachers, parents, coaches, youth workers, and anyone pursuing women's studies. There is a great deal of dysfunction in our society, and this book sheds some ligh More...
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Jun 17, 2010
Jen
rated it: 
Who bears the responsibility for a teenage pregnancy? Is it possible to balance out the fear and objectification of the current ways children and adolescents learn about sexuality, including graphic slides of STD sores and music videos of strong, implicit messages about gender and sexuality? Is there room for women to have desire when the messages about being objects and gatekeepers prove to be internalized?
Tolman sets out to illuminate how girls describe their sexual desires, which is n More...
Tolman sets out to illuminate how girls describe their sexual desires, which is n More...
Dec 17, 2009
Tate
rated it:
A little dry but insightful. I just found out this woman teaches where I hope to go to grad school!
Jun 14, 2009
Jenna
rated it:
Another look at some of the hidden worlds of girls and social problems ...
Why is there this unjust double-standard between girls and boys. Boys who have girls crawling all over them are "studs" and their parents are "proud." Girls, on the other hand, are to be protected from guys lining up at the door lest they acquire a less savory reputation as "sluts." The author tells the stories of girls who have sexual desire. The societal view of girls as swee More...
Why is there this unjust double-standard between girls and boys. Boys who have girls crawling all over them are "studs" and their parents are "proud." Girls, on the other hand, are to be protected from guys lining up at the door lest they acquire a less savory reputation as "sluts." The author tells the stories of girls who have sexual desire. The societal view of girls as swee More...
May 21, 2011
I'm in a reading funk, and this book is definitely not helping. Rather it is filled with gratuitous details instead of getting to the point, and hearing the real girls story. But I'll pick it up soon. (20% is read.)
May 14, 2008
Colin
rated it:
Absolutely fantastic study of young women and how they experience sexual attraction and desire. Best book studying sexuality that I've ever read. Tolman is a student of Carol Gilligan but manages to not let that affect her work too much. Interview-based and really interesting and applicable. Mostly hetero folks.
Oct 01, 2008
Brad
rated it:
Probably the best angle taken by any author on the subject of women's sexuality, and sexual autonomy. She does a nice job of discussing her research in a way that is both interesting and emphasizes the humanity and individuality of the girls she studies.
May 07, 2010
AJ
rated it:
I got about a chapter in (yes, I managed to finish the introduction) plus a few pages and decided not to continue after realizing that this book reads like a textbook. It's probably very interesting, but not something I want to spend time reading.
Jun 26, 2007
Elysabeth
rated it:
I used this book for my thesis and I'm glad I did. Tolman makes really interesting points about acknowledging teenage girls' desire and sexuality as valid--something that may not often come up in the discussion of sexual impulses in teenagers.
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