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When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
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When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

4.42  ·  Rating Details  ·  103 Ratings  ·  9 Reviews
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?

Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Here, a counselor reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children-and h
Paperback, 384 pages
Published March 1st 2005 by Berkley (first published 2004)
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Caroline Abbott
Nov 04, 2014 Caroline Abbott rated it it was amazing
Another great book to help the abused by Lundy Bancroft. So helpful for moms who have been abused who have children who were unfortunately stuck in the abuse with her. Now she wants to help them heal, but she is still needing healing herself. Such good practical steps, and a lot of great information I didn't know. I can't recommend this one enough! Thanks Lundy!!
Terrah Mayes
Mar 06, 2013 Terrah Mayes rated it it was amazing
All social workers should require the parents of children who've had to witness, experience or hear domestic abuse to read this book! Kids blame themselves- this is a hard book to read- but it's important to understand the effects on all children.
Oct 13, 2012 Corin rated it it was amazing
Any woman going through a divorce should read this, as well as any woman in a relationship that feels abusive, even if she's not sure what is happening to her "meets the definition."
Oct 27, 2015 Anjle rated it it was amazing
This is a very accessible, easily understandable, and well-organized book.
I would recommend it to parents and children who were direct victims of or witness to abuse.

I read this as an adult survivor of child abuse, and it gave me insight into why my mother made the decisions she did.
I've since given it to her to read, and so far, it has opened up a lot of discussion and helped me heal my relationship with my mother somewhat (I am much less resentful and angry than I was a few years ago).

It al
Kenzie Gordon
Jan 14, 2016 Kenzie Gordon rated it it was amazing
A great resource for non-abusive parents and supporters of children who have been/are being exposed to domestic violence; designed to be readable and accessible, it contains honest assessments of judicial and child protection systems and helpful advice on how to navigate it in kids' best interests.
Christine Murdock
The best information I have received in regards to children and domestic violence. especially, when it comes to disipline and behavior issues. It is important to understand how children express their feelings and how best to support and comfort them.
Heidi Smith
May 31, 2014 Heidi Smith rated it really liked it
Shelves: kids
This book is mostly geared towards women who have been or are in abusive relationships. Most of it was interesting, but not necessarily related to my situation with foster parenting. There were parts, however, that were excellent and very insightful.
Apr 20, 2008 Courtney rated it it was amazing
same same - this writer writes about a subject - I wish i could articulate on so well. He is such a resource for survivors and those that care about them.
May 03, 2009 Laura rated it really liked it
for work...
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  • The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
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  • On Being Raped
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  • Shattered Bonds: The Color Of Child Welfare
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  • Aftermath: Violence and the Remaking of a Self
  • The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse
  • Trauma Through a Child's Eyes: Awakening the Ordinary Miracle of Healing
  • The Elephant in the Playroom: Ordinary Parents Write Intimately and Honestly About the Extraordinary Highs and Heartbreaking Lows of Raising Kids with Special Needs
  • A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant, and a Prayer: Writings to Stop Violence Against Women and girls
  • You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child
  • Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse
  • You've Got Dragons
  • I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know
  • Men's Work: How to Stop the Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart
  • The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond
Lundy Bancroft is an author, workshop leader, and consultant on domestic abuse and child maltreatment. His best known book is Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (first published in 2002). With 20 years of experience specializing in interventions for abusive men and their families, he is a former co-director of Emerge, the first counseling program in the United Stat ...more
More about Lundy Bancroft...

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