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Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood
Parents need help to teach their teens how to make decisions responsibly--and do so without going crazy or damaging the relationship.
Parenting Teens with Love and Logic, from the duo who wrote Parenting with Love and Logic, empowers parents with the skills necessary to set limits, teach important skills, and encourage decision-making in their teenagers.
Covering a wide rang...more
Parenting Teens with Love and Logic, from the duo who wrote Parenting with Love and Logic, empowers parents with the skills necessary to set limits, teach important skills, and encourage decision-making in their teenagers.
Covering a wide rang...more
Hardcover, 320 pages
Published
April 19th 2006
by NavPress
(first published January 1st 1992)
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I had heard a lot about the Love and Logic method, but had never read any of the books. Since my two are teens, I decided to give this a try. While I did find myself agreeing with a lot of what the authors had to say about teens learning to make their own decisions (with guidance of parents, but in a way as not to be a dictator or helicopter parent) I found the examples of sample dialogue absolutely laughable. I can't see any teen talking to their parents that way. From my experience most teens...more
Good points: (which parents will hopefully already know)
1. Be consistent
2. Hold your teens responsible
3. Let natural consequences happen so your teen can learn from their mistakes
Things I also agree with:
1. Allowances are not related to doing chores
2. Negotiate curfews by occasion
3. Grounding is not really effective, especially if done repetitively
Reasons I won't recommend this book:
p. 64 - authors misrepresent and then slam the well-proven theory of positive reinforcement (which is not handing...more
1. Be consistent
2. Hold your teens responsible
3. Let natural consequences happen so your teen can learn from their mistakes
Things I also agree with:
1. Allowances are not related to doing chores
2. Negotiate curfews by occasion
3. Grounding is not really effective, especially if done repetitively
Reasons I won't recommend this book:
p. 64 - authors misrepresent and then slam the well-proven theory of positive reinforcement (which is not handing...more
While one book can't "fit all," especially in the area of parenting teens, I would say this book is worth the time and effort to read! Overall, the approach is sensible and down-to-earth. These authors nail some of the major issues that I would think crop up in most households with teens, such as driving privileges, backtalk, an entitlement attitude, music issues, etc. PTWL&L is due for an update, however, as current media/technology issues are not addressed--but maybe that should be covered...more
I'm suprised that this book got so many 4-5 star ratings. I completely disagreed with many of the principles this book teaches. What I got from this book is this: let your teenagers make their own decisions and live with the consequences, that will teach them responsibility. Hello! Isn't that what adulthood is? I quit reading when I got to this part: Three Messages for Teenagers 1. I love you. 2. If you have any questions, ask. 3. Good luck in life. Good luck? I don't think so. Teenagers should...more
Not really helpful. I read the basic love and logic book so long ago I guess I needed a refresher before I started this one. They don't explain their technique enough. Most of their examples are so extreme that I'm not sure they really apply to more garden-variety teen problems. Though I guess they are designed to make you feel better about your kid? I liked their theory that parents need to turn into more of "consultants" as children age, asking questions and trying to make your children take t...more
Having a teenager is even more confusing and frustrating than I anticipated, and this kind of book is reassuring by default because it reminds me that it's not just MY teenager driving ME nuts--most teenagers do this to their parents. This knowledge alone helps me breathe a little easier through the most ridiculous things that come out of the spawn's mouth.
Above and beyond the default reassurances of not being alone, there are some solid techniques in here aimed at putting teenagers in the posit...more
Above and beyond the default reassurances of not being alone, there are some solid techniques in here aimed at putting teenagers in the posit...more
This is an incredibe book. I wish I had read it sooner. Cline explains the necessity of consistency. He discusses the danger of rescuing teens and how doing so threatens their maturity. The book discuses a variey of parenting styles with the pros and cons of each. Part 3, called Parenting Pearls was my favorite part. Practical solutions are offered for issues such as back talk, driving, curfews, dating, parties, internet, grades, money, music, and jobs, just to name a few.
I recommend this book t...more
I recommend this book t...more
There were some good ideas in this book, but they were completely outweighed by the extremely hokey sample conversations. Not only that, some of the sample conversations were just downright offensive. Also, some of the ideas had no logical follow-through. Such as if you make a deal, or negotiate, with your teen and they don't hold up their end of the bargain, then what? Since you're not supposed to punish your teen, I'm not exactly sure what you are supposed to do. Throw them out on the street?...more
I am of two minds about this book and the approach. On one hand many of the principles are sound and have given me a calm framework for working through common issues with my teens. It is also a reminder that adolescence is a time to start granting your child greater autonomy. I do feel that the degree to which a parent can do that depends a lot on the child - and when the child betrays certain trusts sometimes they have to have some freedoms temporarily reduced. The options presented in the book...more
I loved this book. I started implementing a lot of the "mannerisms" for lack of a better word right away and I saw a difference right away. I wasn't having lots of problems with my kids anyway, but hey, forewarned is forearmed, and good-enough really isn't good-enough, I want great! I am buying the book and will review it often. The first half goes through how to implement teaching kids through love and logic, what to do and how to do it and why to do it that way, with lots of actual case-study...more
Like the first one on parenting kids this just reiterates some of the same stuff but also add a few things like how to handle teenagers with the more logical approach which seems right because they want to see the logic behind the parenting or they just think you are "forcing them" or making up crap to make their lives miserable. That's how it is around here anyway. Some of the situations totally seem like crap but others like the part about hairstyles and clothing and also about them doing thin...more
Apr 18, 2012
tami
added it
Highly recommend. Every time I pick up this book, I need it, and parent better immediately. LOVE the specific chapters for quick look-ups in a pinch. I have no problem with teaching or implementing things in our home, what this book helps me with is not 'reacting', and calmly having a consistent, respectful response. LOVE the example of the mother who left her teens in the car and got a ride home from a friend! I did something similar with car rides home from school----they can learn! Ha!
I almost want to give this five stars. What makes it so great for me is that it's REAL LIFE, brought down to manageable terms for young people. I have implemented this philosophy in my parenting and have seen great results - not only that the kids start behaving in the way I want them to, but that they start THINKING in the way a more mature brain does. They see natural consequences, take on more responsibility, and feel empowered and grown-up in appropriate increments.
Interestingly enough, getting pissy and crazed with your kids...not helpful.
Are you shocked and surprised?
This book was a good review of some parenting goals and a timely reminder of effective methods to achieve them. The book also gave me some new tips on how to make sure I am letting natural consequences be the bad guy, rather than taking that role.
I didn't love everything they had to say but I felt it was useful information and a worthwhile read.
Are you shocked and surprised?
This book was a good review of some parenting goals and a timely reminder of effective methods to achieve them. The book also gave me some new tips on how to make sure I am letting natural consequences be the bad guy, rather than taking that role.
I didn't love everything they had to say but I felt it was useful information and a worthwhile read.
I will have my first teenager in a few months. Before reading this book I felt a little apprehensive about parenting a teen. After reading this book I feel excited and empowered. this book had a lot of common sense suggestions. It made me feel like I am already a good parent and have a lot to look forward to. For me it was the right book at the right time. I do not think it will solve all my problems but I feel much better equipped to face the challenges that await.
I have heard a lot about this book through the teaching version "Teaching with Love and Logic"...after struggling with some parenting issues, this book really helped me be less angry and involved in the mistakes that my kiddos are working through right now...I have the "teaching" version checked out from the library currently...
The Love & Logic principles do work well. This book just isn't the best introduction to them. This one doesn't explain the principles very clearly, and even in the second edition, the examples are dated. Try one of the other books:
* Parenting with Love and Logic
* Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood
* Parenting with Love and Logic
* Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood
It is a funny thing to read these old parenting books....such as when they tell you how to deal with phone problems, as in when your teen ties up the house phone! Our library did not have the newer edition of this book; perhaps it would be more current. Anyway, there were some helpful ideas here.
This is pretty great. In fact I'm only less than 1/2 way through and I am using the techniques and seeing results already. I love how many real life situations are included, and scripts of what to say and how to say it. I read 1/2 of the first L&L book too, I just forgot how great it was!
Feb 22, 2009
Ellen
is currently reading it
a great tool in the parenting toolbox....and no it's not a hammer! It helps calm me when I don't comprehend my teenager. They have one for younger kids too..Parenting With Love and Logic. Good verbiage suggestions for having conversations about school, chores, grades, etc...
As the mother of four children, I highly recommend this book. Although I'm an avid reader, I unfortunately did not find this book until my third child was 17. It has been a life changer for our family. Whenever I am talking "kids" with people, I reference this book.
This book answered the "how to" questions that Culture of Honor left me with. Great practical help in communicating with and building a strong relationship with your teenagers--whether they are outstanding young people or troubled.
Found the book at my local library.
Found the book at my local library.
Great principles. Common sense advice and good examples for how to work with teens/youth. I need to read the one for kids, but the same principles apply I'm sure, it's just giving them different freedoms and choices. Love this theory.
OK I know I don't have any teens. I was reading it for my sister who DOES have teens, and I loved the concept so much that my husband is at the library RIGHT NOW picking up the Love and Logic book for younger kids. Can't wait to read it.
Never raise a teen by the book unless ur blindly going into it-the people suggesting it had no children!!!! I'm just now erasing years of damage from self help books by these quacks! Poor Mel, she is happier now than then!
excellent book on parenting teens and helping them with natural consequnces. It is easy to read and follow and makes so much sense. I read it when my teen was 17 wish I would have read it earlier would have helped .
Apr 02, 2009
Lisa Bushart Schmelder
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
parents of teens or tweens
Recommended to Lisa by:
a school flier set me in motion
I so wish I had read this series when my children were younger. Never too late to start! I became aware of some parenting styles/mistakes I want to avoid. Really helps avoid power struggles!
Good advice. I will have to keep this book eternally on my "to read" shelve since I will have to refer to it occasionally. I wish that there was section that said "If your child says/does this....., Here is what you can say/do in response....and here are the results you can expect" Maybe even better, someone could have a section for each type of child personality. Like, "the calm/good child", or "the child who has to test everything for themselves", or "the child who is impulsive", or "the child...more
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If you have teenagers or about to become a parent of a teenager or you teach teenagers, this book is going to help your relationship with yourself and the teenager over there.
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Jul 17, 2009 11:28am