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Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

4.13  ·  Rating Details  ·  4,256 Ratings  ·  803 Reviews
Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years Let Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D., help you start your child off on the right foot. The tools in Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood will give you the building blocks you need to create children who grow up to be responsible, successful teens and adults. And as a bonus you will enjoy every stage of your child's life and loo ...more
Paperback, 200 pages
Published January 1st 2010 by Love & Logic Press (first published 2000)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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May 12, 2008 Sonya rated it it was ok
Wow.... Okay, so there are a couple (I mean literally two) of key points that work for my parenting style. However, there are some big red flags that come up for me personally. I know this is a popular method with many people so will keep my opinions close this time. Happy to talk individually w/ anyone about it though.
**Sorry, had to add a note after reading the reviews and some
great information on Psychology Today's website / magazine. I feel that I took a bit of a cowardly exit by keeping my
Feb 07, 2008 Shelley rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting-family
This book has a lot of great ideas. I think the technique is pretty good, and they write it in an easy-to-use way. However, it was so obnoxious to read that I could barely stomach the first half of the book. After that I got over the annoyance and just gleaned the good techniques. The Fays seem to be high on their own theory. They even make comments such as "Is it possible that there would be no such thing as the United States of America if King George had known about Love and Logic?" Barf! The ...more
Mar 30, 2012 Elise rated it it was amazing
I'm not even done yet, but it's life-changing. I really love this book. Take it with a grain of salt and some prayer (like any parenting advice), but for quite a while I feel like I've been running into a brick wall with my parenting - it's not quite what I want (I get angry and frustrated way to easily and just plain don't like who I become in those moments), but I had no exact strategy to change my parenting/discipline techniques, so always ended up back in the same boat.
Enter this book, and
What I liked about this book:
- its clear outline and need for enforcable statements and rules, and the need to set limits and boundaries for your child
- its emphasis on staying calm, being positive and loving, even in a difficult situation
- its emphasis on teaching consequences and helping your kids learn to think
- suggesting to give lots of choices and sharing power/control where you can

What I didn't like:
- pretty much everything else. I particularly hated the tone of the Authors. They sounded
Jun 05, 2008 Meg rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: ANYONE
Recommended to Meg by: my dad (marriage and family counselor)
That's right! Another book that receives a rare 5-star rating from Meg! If you have children, or if you work with children, or if you've heard of children before, do yourself a favor and read this book NOW. All the Love & Logic books are amazing, but this one is packed with concrete examples and conversations with young kids... instead of just a bunch of theoretical mumbo-jumbo. I'm terrified to think how much worse a parent I would be if I hadn't read it.
Feb 16, 2012 Emily rated it it was amazing
Great parenting book! I agree with a lot of what they advocate. A few things I gleaned from it:
-Replace anger and frustration with empathy.
-Replace threats and warnings with simple actions (stop talking the talk so much and just walk the walk).
-Set limits you can enforce.
-Give away the control you don't need (give your kids lots of opportunities to choose).
-Point out your kids' interests that you notice, and resist the urge to follow it up with "That's great!". Let them have their interests with
Jun 28, 2009 Danielle rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenting
Ideas from this book I liked: 1. Let the consequence for your chid's actions be the (primary) teacher (that is, don't lecture, just act). 2. Always discipline with empathy. 3. Don't let your child see your anger or frustration when they misbehave. If you lose control it tells your child they're unmanageable, which makes them feel insecure. 4. Encourage your child to think through problems and find solutions for themselves. 5. Hand over any control you don't absolutely need to your child, so that ...more
Nov 17, 2011 Brette rated it it was ok
The central idea of this parenting book (and the Love and Logic system) is a good one: instead of solving all their problems, let your children learn from natural consequences, helping them develop logic on their own. For example, if Bear throws food at dinner, dinner should be over, and I should let him go hungry for a little while. Good plan. I just don't think it necessarily works for every single scenario, especially through toddlerhood. I don't think he's ready for adult-like logic, especia ...more
Aug 12, 2011 Jessica rated it liked it
aside from the overly and ridiculously (at least to me with MY kids) unrealistic examples of love and logic at work with young kids, i actually thought the basic principles of love and logic make a lot of sense. i especially liked the idea that actions speak louder than words -- you don't need to give a million warnings, just one and then act on the consequence. i also appreciated the concept that you don't need to act in anger or frustration, but just put the kid in their room for as long as it ...more
Lisa Wuertz
Aug 26, 2010 Lisa Wuertz rated it liked it
I liked this book, but I think that the subtitle is totally off: "Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years." More like from 3 to the teenage years. While there are a few things the authors address that are applicable to infants and anyone under the age of three, most of it is not.

Other problems I have with this book:
-It definitely reads like a cheesey self-help book. Complete with catch phrases, one-liners, and mantras. These kinds of things annoy me.
-There is a lot of emphasis placed on "se
Oct 11, 2008 Nikki rated it liked it
Recommends it for: parents
Shelves: parenting
[update after thinking about this a long time and worrying that I gave the wrong impression to everyone who got this email update originally]
So I have a really hard time assigning a rating to this book. The philosophy itself should get a five, because I think it is a fabulous philosophy. But the explaining of the philosophy should get a one or two, because this is hands down the most disorganized book I've ever read.

I repeat, though: the philosophy should get a five, and I'm looking into hiring
Jul 20, 2010 JoyfulK rated it it was amazing
This little book is the clearest introduction I've found to the Love and Logic parenting system, an excellent system that is adaptable to situations including parenting, step-parenting, co-parenting, teaching, and counseling.

The system is based on empathy, natural & logical consequences, and helping kids make age-appropriate decisions on their own---so that they take on increasing levels of responsibility for themselves and move towards healthy interdependence. Although this book uses examp
Sep 19, 2015 Rachel rated it really liked it
Recommended by my sister after I told her how I was starting to feel exhausted by all the decisions and disciplining during the day of my almost-two-year-old. 90% of the time, everything was great, but when it wasn't, it was emotionally and physically draining for him and me. I felt like I was constantly being "the bad guy." I'm glad to read about this method because it mostly describes what I want to do (act, with love, not talk or lecture) and helps me figure out how to get there. And my son i ...more
Emilia P
Mar 19, 2015 Emilia P rated it really liked it
Shelves: real-books
This method-ish was mentioned by the moms in my church group, and it's easy to see why -- it's got a slightly old-fashioned tone that probably resonates with a lot of Christians (and are these guys Christiany? Maybe?) but I thought it was pretty reasonable -- logical consequences, not thinking little kids are too dumb to know what they're doing wrong, and setting the groundwork early so they know how to take care of themselves and be responsible when they get older. I'm sure some of this is comm ...more
Apr 10, 2014 Molly rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenthood
This was picked for my daughter's Montessori school book club of parents and teachers; fortunately, the lead teacher wasn't enamored with this book either.

My first issue is the barrier--the first hoop, the first swoon or sorrow--I will always have with a book: the writing style. And in this case, it's miserable. There's a weird, used-car salesman grin behind every sentence, and most of the points the authors raise come with a completely asinine scenario with unrealistic conclusions. "And then th
Dec 10, 2015 Stacy rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
Really helpful for me. Easy, fun to read, super helpful tips. A few to remember:

1. Give young children lots of options (all of which work for you). This has been super helpful. My toddler will initially say no, but when I turn the proposition into a choice, she'll happily choose one of the two options.

2. Using empathy instead of anger. Instead of losing your temper, saying, "This is so sad." My toddler has responded really well to my using more empathy, not surprisingly.

3. The towel trick. Nothi
Natalie Cornish
Apr 17, 2014 Natalie Cornish rated it liked it
The concepts offered in this book seem simple, but they are difficult to remember in the heat of the moment. Take the authors advice and master one concept before adding another. I still don't know if this will work for my family, but it is worth a try!
Jan 30, 2014 Tiffany rated it liked it
3.5 stars really. I read this book in hopes of learning some new parenting strategies for our middle child. We struggle with tantrums with her and nothing really seems to work. At times I loved the book and at other times I wasn't too fond of it. I like the general idea behind the technique, but I felt like the book made it seem much more simple and easy than it really is when you are trying to implement the strategies. I felt like some of the examples were too fake or too ideal. All that being ...more
Mar 06, 2013 Stacy rated it really liked it
I don’t read many how-to parenting books, but Gage has some behavioral issues and another mother recommended this to me.

Here’s what I liked

This really will help make dealing with misbehavior easier. You let go of the anger by feigning sincere empathy for your toddler/hellion. After only a few days of trying some of these techniques my blood pressure hasn’t spiked once

I like the philosophy behind it. All that love and empathy has to be good, right?

Concrete examples of what to do in a (limited) n
Sep 10, 2012 Karah rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, parenting
Our elementary staff is using Love & Logic for professional development this year so reading this book was two-fold. One, I thought it would really help me learn more "L&L" lingo and two, it might actually help me as a parent of a two year old.

Overall, I found the book really useful. I think being familiar with Love & Logic helped-- and I might recommend reading a more basic L&L book before this one. I felt like this book assumed that the reader had some prior knowledge of L&
Tanya W
Apr 13, 2009 Tanya W rated it it was amazing
This is a really great parenting book for those with young children. Applying a simple principle in this book has enabled me to see a big change in just a couple of days in my 1 1/2 year old son's behavior. The Uh-Oh song is an amazing conditioning tool... when I look at my baby who is touching or doing something he shouldn't, I look at him and say Uh-Oh and start the song... he quickly moves away from what is forbidden and finds something else to do.

This is a relief since he is such a curious
Apr 27, 2016 Jessica rated it really liked it
Over all, I like the Love and Logic philosophy. I think it can be hard to apply without sounding sarcastic, and I don't think it fixes everything, but for the most part, I think it's good.
A word about the energy drain, which seems to be a major complaint of this book. When I think of natural consequences for temper tantrums, bickering, and general disrespect, here's the honest to God truth, when my kid acts that way, the natural consequence is that I don't want to be around him. And that's the
Feb 08, 2012 Diane rated it liked it
I quickly skimmed over this book and found a few helpful tips. I know several friends who use the Love and Logic system in their home. I've always heard positive things. I'm trying to give my children more options throughout the day so they have more choices. I feel like such a dictator most of the time. This has helped them feel more in control and then they seem to recognize when it's my choice, they need to agree to it since I've agreed to their choices throughout the day. I also feel like I ...more
Jun 05, 2009 Rachel rated it liked it
I thought this book had some good theories. However it also advocated some things that I dont think would work for my child. Specifically they suggested letting your child get away from you in a store to see what happens. (actually letting your kid think they got away from you, you should be able to see them.) This has never worked for us, she just keeps on running. I think that natural consequences are really good, I just think that they work better for some kids than others. According to them ...more
Sep 14, 2009 Emily rated it it was amazing
Adding onto my other Love and Logic review, this book is perfect for learning how to implement the principles of Love and Logic with little children (especially toddlers).
(My review of Love and Logic):
LOVED (and still Love) this book. First heard about it in my school counseling program and from my sisters-in-law (all of whom use Love and Logic with their children).
I'm definitely going to be referencing it throughout the next 15 years. I love the idea of giving options and choices to my children
Jennifer Choisser
Jun 28, 2010 Jennifer Choisser rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenting
If you are trying to make a paragdiam shift away from punitive discipline I think this book is a good place to start.

The concept behind Love and Logic is great. The author makes clear that its important to be sincere with you child and give them choices in a non-manipulative manner. Unfortunatly, I think that many of the suggestions for 12-24 month old kids is real off base, examples of these would be sending a young child to their room and taking away their meal--these suggestions seem to go ag
Lisa Nelson
Feb 28, 2012 Lisa Nelson rated it liked it
Recommends it for: all parents
Recommended to Lisa by: Julie
Shelves: non-fiction
This book had some great easy to use practical advice. I thought it was magic with my kids several times, especially my four year old. The message I liked the most was being able to stay in control of my emotions. All too often to resort to getting on my kids level.
I did agree with many goodreads reviewers regarding some all to perfect scenarios in the book. Also, with my 7 year old who has some anxiety saying, "don't worry about your punishment I'll figure out what I'm going to do later," is t
Aug 14, 2014 Summer rated it it was amazing
I read the first Love and Logic book a few weeks ago, but a lot of it is geared toward older children. Some of it I could apply to my 14 month-old son, but I'd have to really think about it. When I saw this book was available, I e-mailed the L&L folks to see if it was worth it and didn't just pull the early childhood parts from the original book. Of course, they said it was and that it would be perfect for where we are as parents. So I gave it a whirl.

This book is great for where we are now!
Sombryn Williams
May 22, 2014 Sombryn Williams rated it liked it
I teach high school and use the Rules for Love and Logic in my classroom with great success. Now that I have my own child, I was excited to read this book dedicated to the early childhood years.

However, I'm afraid my reaction is mixed. On the one hand, I thought the book gave valuable advice and I plan on implementing many of the strategies listed. On the other, the tone of the book really bothered me. Some of the commentary came across and judgmental and polarizing. I felt as though the younge
Kholoud Nakshabandi
Sep 09, 2012 Kholoud Nakshabandi rated it really liked it
An absolutely fun to read book with lots of real life scenarios when it comes to raising kids. I couldn't stop laughing and learning smooth tactic techniques to use with kids from early years of age. Rule of this book is that it's never too early to start building your child's character and values system.
A must read if you are an about to be mom like myself :) !
P.S. I know that in real life the solutions would not be as "pink" as the book pictures, BUT it is worth knowing !
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“happiness comes from doing great things-rather than getting great things” 7 likes
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