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Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

4.13 of 5 stars 4.13  ·  rating details  ·  3,995 ratings  ·  785 reviews
Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years Let Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D., help you start your child off on the right foot. The tools in Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood will give you the building blocks you need to create children who grow up to be responsible, successful teens and adults. And as a bonus you will enjoy every stage of your child's life and loo ...more
Paperback, 200 pages
Published January 1st 2010 by Love & Logic Press (first published 2000)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Sonya
Wow.... Okay, so there are a couple (I mean literally two) of key points that work for my parenting style. However, there are some big red flags that come up for me personally. I know this is a popular method with many people so will keep my opinions close this time. Happy to talk individually w/ anyone about it though.
**Sorry, had to add a note after reading the reviews and some
great information on Psychology Today's website / magazine. I feel that I took a bit of a cowardly exit by keeping my
...more
Shelley
This book has a lot of great ideas. I think the technique is pretty good, and they write it in an easy-to-use way. However, it was so obnoxious to read that I could barely stomach the first half of the book. After that I got over the annoyance and just gleaned the good techniques. The Fays seem to be high on their own theory. They even make comments such as "Is it possible that there would be no such thing as the United States of America if King George had known about Love and Logic?" Barf! The ...more
Elise
I'm not even done yet, but it's life-changing. I really love this book. Take it with a grain of salt and some prayer (like any parenting advice), but for quite a while I feel like I've been running into a brick wall with my parenting - it's not quite what I want (I get angry and frustrated way to easily and just plain don't like who I become in those moments), but I had no exact strategy to change my parenting/discipline techniques, so always ended up back in the same boat.
Enter this book, and
...more
Franziska
What I liked about this book:
- its clear outline and need for enforcable statements and rules, and the need to set limits and boundaries for your child
- its emphasis on staying calm, being positive and loving, even in a difficult situation
- its emphasis on teaching consequences and helping your kids learn to think
- suggesting to give lots of choices and sharing power/control where you can

What I didn't like:
- pretty much everything else. I particularly hated the tone of the Authors. They sounded
...more
Meg
Jun 05, 2008 Meg rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: ANYONE
Recommended to Meg by: my dad (marriage and family counselor)
That's right! Another book that receives a rare 5-star rating from Meg! If you have children, or if you work with children, or if you've heard of children before, do yourself a favor and read this book NOW. All the Love & Logic books are amazing, but this one is packed with concrete examples and conversations with young kids... instead of just a bunch of theoretical mumbo-jumbo. I'm terrified to think how much worse a parent I would be if I hadn't read it.
Emily
Great parenting book! I agree with a lot of what they advocate. A few things I gleaned from it:
-Replace anger and frustration with empathy.
-Replace threats and warnings with simple actions (stop talking the talk so much and just walk the walk).
-Set limits you can enforce.
-Give away the control you don't need (give your kids lots of opportunities to choose).
-Point out your kids' interests that you notice, and resist the urge to follow it up with "That's great!". Let them have their interests with
...more
Danielle
Ideas from this book I liked: 1. Let the consequence for your chid's actions be the (primary) teacher (that is, don't lecture, just act). 2. Always discipline with empathy. 3. Don't let your child see your anger or frustration when they misbehave. If you lose control it tells your child they're unmanageable, which makes them feel insecure. 4. Encourage your child to think through problems and find solutions for themselves. 5. Hand over any control you don't absolutely need to your child, so that ...more
Brette
The central idea of this parenting book (and the Love and Logic system) is a good one: instead of solving all their problems, let your children learn from natural consequences, helping them develop logic on their own. For example, if Bear throws food at dinner, dinner should be over, and I should let him go hungry for a little while. Good plan. I just don't think it necessarily works for every single scenario, especially through toddlerhood. I don't think he's ready for adult-like logic, especia ...more
Jessica
aside from the overly and ridiculously (at least to me with MY kids) unrealistic examples of love and logic at work with young kids, i actually thought the basic principles of love and logic make a lot of sense. i especially liked the idea that actions speak louder than words -- you don't need to give a million warnings, just one and then act on the consequence. i also appreciated the concept that you don't need to act in anger or frustration, but just put the kid in their room for as long as it ...more
Lisa Wuertz
I liked this book, but I think that the subtitle is totally off: "Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years." More like from 3 to the teenage years. While there are a few things the authors address that are applicable to infants and anyone under the age of three, most of it is not.

Other problems I have with this book:
-It definitely reads like a cheesey self-help book. Complete with catch phrases, one-liners, and mantras. These kinds of things annoy me.
-There is a lot of emphasis placed on "se
...more
Nikki
Oct 11, 2008 Nikki rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: parents
Shelves: parenting
[update after thinking about this a long time and worrying that I gave the wrong impression to everyone who got this email update originally]
So I have a really hard time assigning a rating to this book. The philosophy itself should get a five, because I think it is a fabulous philosophy. But the explaining of the philosophy should get a one or two, because this is hands down the most disorganized book I've ever read.

I repeat, though: the philosophy should get a five, and I'm looking into hiring
...more
JoyfulK
This little book is the clearest introduction I've found to the Love and Logic parenting system, an excellent system that is adaptable to situations including parenting, step-parenting, co-parenting, teaching, and counseling.

The system is based on empathy, natural & logical consequences, and helping kids make age-appropriate decisions on their own---so that they take on increasing levels of responsibility for themselves and move towards healthy interdependence. Although this book uses examp
...more
Emilia P
This method-ish was mentioned by the moms in my church group, and it's easy to see why -- it's got a slightly old-fashioned tone that probably resonates with a lot of Christians (and are these guys Christiany? Maybe?) but I thought it was pretty reasonable -- logical consequences, not thinking little kids are too dumb to know what they're doing wrong, and setting the groundwork early so they know how to take care of themselves and be responsible when they get older. I'm sure some of this is comm ...more
Molly
This was picked for my daughter's Montessori school book club of parents and teachers; fortunately, the lead teacher wasn't enamored with this book either.

My first issue is the barrier--the first hoop, the first swoon or sorrow--I will always have with a book: the writing style. And in this case, it's miserable. There's a weird, used-car salesman grin behind every sentence, and most of the points the authors raise come with a completely asinine scenario with unrealistic conclusions. "And then th
...more
Natalie Cornish
The concepts offered in this book seem simple, but they are difficult to remember in the heat of the moment. Take the authors advice and master one concept before adding another. I still don't know if this will work for my family, but it is worth a try!
Tiffany
3.5 stars really. I read this book in hopes of learning some new parenting strategies for our middle child. We struggle with tantrums with her and nothing really seems to work. At times I loved the book and at other times I wasn't too fond of it. I like the general idea behind the technique, but I felt like the book made it seem much more simple and easy than it really is when you are trying to implement the strategies. I felt like some of the examples were too fake or too ideal. All that being ...more
Stacy
I don’t read many how-to parenting books, but Gage has some behavioral issues and another mother recommended this to me.

Here’s what I liked


This really will help make dealing with misbehavior easier. You let go of the anger by feigning sincere empathy for your toddler/hellion. After only a few days of trying some of these techniques my blood pressure hasn’t spiked once

I like the philosophy behind it. All that love and empathy has to be good, right?

Concrete examples of what to do in a (limited) n
...more
Karah
Our elementary staff is using Love & Logic for professional development this year so reading this book was two-fold. One, I thought it would really help me learn more "L&L" lingo and two, it might actually help me as a parent of a two year old.

Overall, I found the book really useful. I think being familiar with Love & Logic helped-- and I might recommend reading a more basic L&L book before this one. I felt like this book assumed that the reader had some prior knowledge of L&
...more
Tanya W
This is a really great parenting book for those with young children. Applying a simple principle in this book has enabled me to see a big change in just a couple of days in my 1 1/2 year old son's behavior. The Uh-Oh song is an amazing conditioning tool... when I look at my baby who is touching or doing something he shouldn't, I look at him and say Uh-Oh and start the song... he quickly moves away from what is forbidden and finds something else to do.

This is a relief since he is such a curious
...more
Jessica
Over all, I like the Love and Logic philosophy. I think it can be hard to apply without sounding sarcastic, and I don't think it fixes everything, but for the most part, I think it's good.
A word about the energy drain, which seems to be a major complaint of this book. When I think of natural consequences for temper tantrums, bickering, and general disrespect, here's the honest to God truth, when my kid acts that way, the natural consequence is that I don't want to be around him. And that's the
...more
Diane
I quickly skimmed over this book and found a few helpful tips. I know several friends who use the Love and Logic system in their home. I've always heard positive things. I'm trying to give my children more options throughout the day so they have more choices. I feel like such a dictator most of the time. This has helped them feel more in control and then they seem to recognize when it's my choice, they need to agree to it since I've agreed to their choices throughout the day. I also feel like I ...more
Rachel
I thought this book had some good theories. However it also advocated some things that I dont think would work for my child. Specifically they suggested letting your child get away from you in a store to see what happens. (actually letting your kid think they got away from you, you should be able to see them.) This has never worked for us, she just keeps on running. I think that natural consequences are really good, I just think that they work better for some kids than others. According to them ...more
Emily
Adding onto my other Love and Logic review, this book is perfect for learning how to implement the principles of Love and Logic with little children (especially toddlers).
(My review of Love and Logic):
LOVED (and still Love) this book. First heard about it in my school counseling program and from my sisters-in-law (all of whom use Love and Logic with their children).
I'm definitely going to be referencing it throughout the next 15 years. I love the idea of giving options and choices to my children
...more
Jennifer Choisser
If you are trying to make a paragdiam shift away from punitive discipline I think this book is a good place to start.

The concept behind Love and Logic is great. The author makes clear that its important to be sincere with you child and give them choices in a non-manipulative manner. Unfortunatly, I think that many of the suggestions for 12-24 month old kids is real off base, examples of these would be sending a young child to their room and taking away their meal--these suggestions seem to go ag
...more
Lisa Nelson
Feb 28, 2012 Lisa Nelson rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: all parents
Recommended to Lisa by: Julie
Shelves: non-fiction
This book had some great easy to use practical advice. I thought it was magic with my kids several times, especially my four year old. The message I liked the most was being able to stay in control of my emotions. All too often to resort to getting on my kids level.
I did agree with many goodreads reviewers regarding some all to perfect scenarios in the book. Also, with my 7 year old who has some anxiety saying, "don't worry about your punishment I'll figure out what I'm going to do later," is t
...more
Summer
I read the first Love and Logic book a few weeks ago, but a lot of it is geared toward older children. Some of it I could apply to my 14 month-old son, but I'd have to really think about it. When I saw this book was available, I e-mailed the L&L folks to see if it was worth it and didn't just pull the early childhood parts from the original book. Of course, they said it was and that it would be perfect for where we are as parents. So I gave it a whirl.

This book is great for where we are now!
...more
Sombryn Williams
I teach high school and use the Rules for Love and Logic in my classroom with great success. Now that I have my own child, I was excited to read this book dedicated to the early childhood years.

However, I'm afraid my reaction is mixed. On the one hand, I thought the book gave valuable advice and I plan on implementing many of the strategies listed. On the other, the tone of the book really bothered me. Some of the commentary came across and judgmental and polarizing. I felt as though the younge
...more
Kholoud Nakshabandi
An absolutely fun to read book with lots of real life scenarios when it comes to raising kids. I couldn't stop laughing and learning smooth tactic techniques to use with kids from early years of age. Rule of this book is that it's never too early to start building your child's character and values system.
A must read if you are an about to be mom like myself :) !
P.S. I know that in real life the solutions would not be as "pink" as the book pictures, BUT it is worth knowing !
Sarah
I haven't finished the main "Parenting With Love and Logic" book yet, but this seems to me to be a condensed version and more specific to implementing some of the principles (such as the "Uh Oh" song) to children at a young age (e.g. how can I make this work with a 1 year old?). I greatly appreciated every page!
Rochelle
So, I'm 50% through this book and I'm just done. That's not to say I've not gleaned *anything* from it, but I'm done with the tone of the book and how the Fay's think you're an idiot parent if you try anything else.

His advice for tantrums? There's a section titled "Have some fun with tantrums" and advises you to leave your child in the aisle, hide around the corner so they think you abandoned them, and "giggle" as you watch them panic. Ah, that's "Love"!

There were other questionable techniques,
...more
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“happiness comes from doing great things-rather than getting great things” 7 likes
“Wise parents take simple actions early on so they can avoid having to take very painful ones later.” 3 likes
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