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180th out of 1,871 books
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3,704 voters
Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom
Celia Rivenbark's essays about life in today's South are like caramel popcorn---sweet, salty, and utterly irresistible
Celia Rivenbark is a master at summing up the South in all its glorious excesses and contradictions. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you'll discover:
* How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disneyworld (or run the risk of eating c...more
Celia Rivenbark is a master at summing up the South in all its glorious excesses and contradictions. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you'll discover:
* How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disneyworld (or run the risk of eating c...more
Hardcover, 272 pages
Published
September 5th 2006
by St. Martin's Press
(first published January 1st 2006)
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Warning: if you're into bashing fake people like the writer and I. I snickered a lot when reading this book. How I 'feel' for Celia's frustation seeing motherm dressing their six-year-old daughters like a skank. How I 'root' for her taking on the super perfect moms who know the details on successfully going to Disneyland. How I was laughing in tears when she tackle the my-child-is-an-allstater moms and just plainfully being a slacker mom (instead of soccer mom). Celia is hilariously funny, I mus...more
Aug 15, 2007
Nicole
rated it
1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Moms who think they are really sassy but are actually just like other moms
Rivenbark calls herself a "Slacker Mom" for not taking her child to Disney World until after all the other moms had taken their kids. Woah, lady, you are soooo bad!
This book is overly precious, even for chick lit. The author spends a lot of time patting herself on the back for "telling it like it is."
All in all, it was just cute; I didn't expect it to be a great work of literature, but I had hoped it might be wittier.
It gets an extra star because the titular chapter is funny. But loses it again...more
This book is overly precious, even for chick lit. The author spends a lot of time patting herself on the back for "telling it like it is."
All in all, it was just cute; I didn't expect it to be a great work of literature, but I had hoped it might be wittier.
It gets an extra star because the titular chapter is funny. But loses it again...more
I LOVED this book. Rarely do I read a book where I am laughing out loud...not once...not twice...not three times....not four, not five, not six etc. You get the picture. In every single chapter there was something, usually lots of somethings, that had me laughing out loud and looking around for someone to share it with. This book is a quick read and written "blog style" for lack of a better word. Each chapter is short and hilarious. Celia Rivenbark is a humor columnist in North Carolina and I fe...more
Rivenbark's tone was meant to be sardonic and honest-to-a-fault, but often comes across as bitter and overly defensive. She is funny, there is no doubt that her voice has a strong, Southern twang that leaps out of the words, but she focuses so much on what she is not (A Supermom, hip, into documentaries, young) that the negativity becomes very tiring.
There is a definite niche for these kinds of writings, and a need for it but Rivenbark's writing has become dated in just five years since publi...more
There is a definite niche for these kinds of writings, and a need for it but Rivenbark's writing has become dated in just five years since publi...more
May 23, 2008
treehugger
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
people who like to laugh, north carolinians especially
Headed to the outer banks and hoping this will prove to be the quintessential rainy beach read, as the weather doesn't seem to want to cooperate with our vacation plans!!
Well, this book was exactly what I wanted - a fun read with plenty o' good ole southern humor. I think it's funny that she lives near me, in one of the largest (and yankee-saturated) metropolitan hubs south of the Mason-Dixon line, and still talks about how she lives in the 'deep south'. Probably my only gripe with this book!
Fun...more
Well, this book was exactly what I wanted - a fun read with plenty o' good ole southern humor. I think it's funny that she lives near me, in one of the largest (and yankee-saturated) metropolitan hubs south of the Mason-Dixon line, and still talks about how she lives in the 'deep south'. Probably my only gripe with this book!
Fun...more
I want to meet Celia Rivenbark. I don't know how hysterical she is in person, but on paper, she had me cracking up. Her book is basically sectioned off ramblings about what she finds amazing or what she finds 'most unfortunate', as she says often. Actually, 'most unfortunate' is apparently the best way to describe something awful in the south. There will be a lot of southern witticism and lingo hidden throughout the pages of the book, but it only adds to the comedy. My particular favorite senten...more
Meh. The funniest thing about the book for me was the sensationalistic title. It was quippy, the author was lippy. Yippy skippy. Bleh.
I first saw this book while working at a book-store a couple of years ago. I was interested in it just because the title reminds me of discussions my husband and I have had over the state of girls' clothing. I have no children, but have a teenage niece I used to shop for. Upon seeing the selection of clothes for her age group, my husband was disgusted and he wanted to ask basically the same thing Celia did, "excuse me, where are the clothes that WON'T make my daughter look like a skank/hoochie/h...more
This book was so hilarious and easy to relate to! Especially for a Southerner or someone who's been exposed to Southerners for a while. I think it should be considered mandatory for all people moving to the Southern USofA, to read a copy.
I picked it up because of the title. I can remember, in perfect detail, being one of the few kids who didn't have shirts that said things like "easy" or rude-Happy-Bunny crap on the front. I can remember thinking I was never going to get a shirt that dipped low...more
I picked it up because of the title. I can remember, in perfect detail, being one of the few kids who didn't have shirts that said things like "easy" or rude-Happy-Bunny crap on the front. I can remember thinking I was never going to get a shirt that dipped low...more
This is by far the funniest book I've ever read and would suggest it to any mother! A great read when you are TOO BUSY for a novel, you can pick it up and put it down when you need to. The chapter titles alone will leave you rolling on the floor! Loved her other book too, Were Just Like You Only Prettier! Southern Female Humor Rocks!
I found that I related to the author's views on the mother-child relationship and the relationship of mothers with each other. However, this book suffers from what now come across as overly harsh comments about Farrah and Michael Jackson, now that they have both died since the writing of this book. Some of the book was very funny, but either I didn't relate to the other items or they just weren't funny. It was a quick read and entertaining. It's a series of independent essays, so it's a particul...more
This book was hysterical and refreshing...I was happy to know that I have a similar laid-back view of child-rearing...I count to three:). Thanks, Sareena!
1 like · like · see review
The author apparently is a columnist for several papers, at least one in this state. There were references to places in and around the area, so she may even live somewhere in Raleigh. This is what kept me reading. I LOVE LOVE LOVE supporting the locals and to have a book in hand by someone that knows the same places I do is just 'tres cool' to me. David Sedaris is one of my favorites - introduced to me by my BFF a few moons ago. In fact, I have one of his in hand ready to read.
continued @ http:/...more
continued @ http:/...more
What an entertaining collection of essays! I love this format and I am always on the lookout for new essayists to add to my shelves. These essays are quite straightforward - and read almost conversationally. I would imagine that an audio version would be equally engaging. This collection does not have the timelessness of a more literary collection - the celebrity references in particular date the book. Still, several of the rants contained within the book are hard to suppress audible laughter as...more
I'm bummed to not have enjoyed this book as much as I hoped to. The author is very funny, but she seems to have over-done it. Kind of like how some people over-write to try and be uber clever, but it just comes across as trying too hard. I ended up picking and choosing my way through the chapters, skipping those with
current cultural references as of the time of writing the book, which by now dates the book and makes it less interesting to read about (celebrities or television programs from 5 or...more
current cultural references as of the time of writing the book, which by now dates the book and makes it less interesting to read about (celebrities or television programs from 5 or...more
I love love love this woman’s books her humor is so good! She just tells it like it is in the chapter for the title of this book she writes about when her daughter grows up from 4-6x to size 7-16
I enjoy the way she sees life and ag...more
"There must be some mistake," I said. "These are, well, slutty-looking. I'm talking clothes for a little girl in first grade."
"Thats all we got."
"But these look like things a hooker would wear!"
She smiled sadly. "You have no idea how many times I hear that every day."
I enjoy the way she sees life and ag...more
The author is a newspaper columnist and this book was released in 2006, so the references are about 5 years old.
Here are a few excerpts to show how hilarious this book was:
"I get it. Now that my kid is practically of child-bearing age (is six the new seventeen?) I must choose from ripped-on-purpose jeans and T-shirts that scream things like "Baby Doll" and "Jail Bait", not to mention a rather angry "Girls Rule and Boys Drool!" where an embroidered flower with buzzing bee should be.
When did this...more
Here are a few excerpts to show how hilarious this book was:
"I get it. Now that my kid is practically of child-bearing age (is six the new seventeen?) I must choose from ripped-on-purpose jeans and T-shirts that scream things like "Baby Doll" and "Jail Bait", not to mention a rather angry "Girls Rule and Boys Drool!" where an embroidered flower with buzzing bee should be.
When did this...more
It's not often I find myself laughing out loud while perusing the first few pages of a book while standing in the store, trying to decide if I want to read it or not.
I found myself laughing out loud at several points over the two night it took me to read the whole thing. It's not a big book and it's not "classical literature" by any stretch of the imagination. But it's worth the read.
It's for all the moms who have experienced the road most traveled... from the four-wheeler trail that runs alongs...more
I found myself laughing out loud at several points over the two night it took me to read the whole thing. It's not a big book and it's not "classical literature" by any stretch of the imagination. But it's worth the read.
It's for all the moms who have experienced the road most traveled... from the four-wheeler trail that runs alongs...more
I really tried to like this book. It's has the work Skank in the title, that right there is a winner for me! I was so deflated after the first chapter. I just couldn't relate. It was like she was stating the obvious throughout the whole book and she kept saying the same things over and over again but masking it with witty humor. Sorry Celia but it wasn't for me.
Silly Southern books are my guilty pleasure. I also love comedy books, and this is a hybrid of those two things, so I checked it out from the library. It was a really easy read; I blew through it in one day. But it was poignant and laugh out loud funny, a great Southern satirical view on family and pop culture. Worth reading!
So funny!!! OMG I so wished Celia lived by me....we would be great friends. One chapter about the children's toys made me laugh so hard I had to run to the potty, quickly. I tried sharing a passage that was so hilarious to me I had to read it about 7 times to be able to get through it without laughing so hard I was gasping for air.
I lost count of how many times I LOL'd while reading this book. I knew from the title alone I would love it. While it has some southern insider jokes you might not get if you're a northerner, it's still a harious read. Definitely my kind of humor and I will be adding the rest of the author's books to my "to read" list asap.
This book was sort of funny. I got more of the jokes because my sister-in-law is from the South. That said, if you are from the South, or living there now I think you would really enjoy this book. If you don't have any connections to the South you will find it moderately funny. But it almost became a chore to finish the book.
Jun 28, 2008
Elizabeth
rated it
2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
southerners with attitude!
Shelves:
my-books-read
This book is different from my "normal reads" which is why I like it. It gave me a different perspective of things. It was totally sassy and I loved the writting style. There were a few parts that made me giggle, more parts that made me grin, and other parts made my mouth drop. Like Celia Rivenbark says "A dedicated humor writer doesn't shy away from the tough stories, the ones that might even make a few enemies." This is why I kept reading. It does have a bit of cussing, but it was interesting....more
This book was absolutely hysterical!
I had seen it on display the last few times I went to the local public library, so I finally thought, "eh, why not?"
I took it home and read straight through it. It was so funny I even laughed out loud several times while reading. That takes a lot for me.
I had seen it on display the last few times I went to the local public library, so I finally thought, "eh, why not?"
I took it home and read straight through it. It was so funny I even laughed out loud several times while reading. That takes a lot for me.
My aunt got me this for my 40th birthday and I must say, it provides some light hearted laughs. It's a bunch of short stories, really, that most mothers of girls can relate to! I read a little each day while waiting for my girls' school bus because it doesn't require much concentration :)
If you are a parent, this book will make you laugh! I kept quoting funny parts to my husband, who finally asked if we could read it together. We read the chapters aloud, and shared some good laughs. Even if you don't agree with Rivenbark's opinions, you will still laugh at her interpretations.
I like Rivenbark's style of writing and was REALLY into this book for the first bit but after a while I was like, okay, we get it, you're a pseudo slacker mom and proud of it... I think that if I hadn't attempted to read it all at once I'd have enjoyed it much more. I will likely pick it up again in a few months and read a few of the chapters again.
This book made me laugh out loud! It's a collection of opinions and observations from a mouthy Southern broad (the author is a humor columnist). The way she words things reminded me of girls I grew up with and reflected some of my own feelings, but in a much funnier way.
If you live in "the south" or even if you don't, this is a HILARIOUS take on some of the things that southerners should and should not do. She has several other books, which I tried to read but will wait a little while in between to do so....became the like the same book.
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Celia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation's number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s.
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first ind...more
More about Celia Rivenbark...
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first ind...more
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“Okay, let's see if I got this straight. The butt is the new breast, and the lower back is the new ankle. Now if only we could figure out where the brain has moved.”
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11 people liked it
“This phrase did not have the ring of verisimilitude because I am famously bad at math. If I'm in charge of tipping at a restaurant, the waiter will either fall to his knees in gratitude or slash my tires. There ain't no Mr. In Between.”
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11 people liked it
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Aug 08, 2008 10:02am