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Haunted

3.51 of 5 stars 3.51 · rating details · 40,025 ratings · 2,464 reviews

Haunted is a novel made up of twenty-three horrifying, hilarious, and stomach-churning stories. They’re told by people who have answered an ad for a writer’s retreat and unwittingly joined a “Survivor”-like scenario where the host withholds heat, power, and food. As the storytellers grow more desperate, their tales become more extreme, and they ruthlessly plot to make them...more

Paperback, 411 pages

Published April 11th 2006 by Anchor (first published 2005)

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Oct 22, 2010 Paul rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: novels, spooky-ookums, whats-all-the-fuss-about

I'm only on p 75 of this thing and I'm about to hurl it at the wall. What is it supposed to be? Does this guy really think these lame parodies are funny? This is from the section called "Slumming", which is about rich people, a couple of whom are pretending to be poor :

"Inky always said being absent is the new being present." (p 69)
"Poverty, Inky says, is the new wealth." (p71)
"Social divers, Inky says, are the new social climbers." (p71)
"Nobodies are the new celebrity." (p72)
"Public is the new...more

70 likes · like · see review

Jan 31, 2009 Lex rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: hearty German stock

Apparently working in a vet clinic for the better part of 5 years is precisely the recipe required to inure one to the effects of Palahniuk's writing.

You'll see tons of "OMG SO GWOSS!!" reviews here, but this ain't one of 'em. I was entertained. All the blood-and-guts and bodily fluids in the world don't really gross me out. What really sickens me is people.

And that's what Palahniuk does best: he writes about the dark sides of people and how precious little it takes to make those sides surface....more

59 likes · like · see review

Aug 21, 2007 Carrie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: horror

This book is vile. It is disgusting. No matter how much you can take, you will squirm and say "Oh My GOD!" out loud on the bus or plane or couch or wherever it is you read. It is a nasty book. But Haunted is so much more than that and so worth reading.

Haunted is set in a drab old theater, past it's prime, boarded up, invisible, and impenetrable to the outside world. Inside the theater are 23 characters. 23 people with names like the Earl of Slander and Agent Tattletale. Each character is introd...more

33 likes · like · see review

Jun 21, 2007 Jeremy rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: horror, old-town-library

People who are just trying to be gross can't help but be entertaining, no matter how see-thru their intent. You can't ignore the little boy who's trying to wipe his boogers on you, and when his parents have finally collared him, with anger and gag relex fully suppressed you have to admit the whole thing was actually pretty funny.

Chuck Paloonyhoonyhookiak is just trying to wipe his boogers on you. When he's done with that, he'll gladly exhaust whatever other bodily fluids happen to be available...more

19 likes · like · see review

Mar 12, 2013 nik rated it 4 of 5 stars

I had a hard time finishing Haunted, if you wanna know the truth. But it's just the way I like it, the way it is. There’s really no easy way to read a Chuck book. Ha-ha. Some stories were a waste of time. Some were just too excellent: Guts, Exodus, Box-shit, and that scene or whatever it was when Comrade Snarky said, "I fainted....and you ate my ass?” … “You fed me my own ass?” Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

As a whole, the book has a disoriented flow. If we talk about music, it'll be like a beautiful so...more I had a hard time finishing Haunted, if you wanna know the truth. But it's just the way I like it, the way it is. There’s really no easy way to read a Chuck book. Ha-ha. Some stories were a waste of time. Some were just too excellent: Guts, Exodus, Box-shit, and that scene or whatever it was when Comrade Snarky said, "I fainted....and you ate my ass?” … “You fed me my own ass?” Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

As a whole, the book has a disoriented flow. If we talk about music, it'll be like a beautiful sound of discordant notes fitting together into the music sheet played by the orchestra to your ears. But hey, this book, in its truest nature, causes both psychological and physiological disorientation. Fucking gory and gross. Especially that part wherein someone was rotting in the forest. The writing there was beyond excellent. Some stories and scenes just stand alone. Live all by itself. They can survive without the other or without being in the book. The way this book was written was really eccentric. You can get lost easily if you're not used to the way Chucky writes. This book requires a high dose of patience—if you don't have it, then don't read it. It's not reader-friendly. At some parts of the book, you'll tell yourself, "Why the fuck am I still reading this?" or "This is a waste of fucking time." ... I told myself that—lots of times. That’s a normal experience though when you’re reading a Chuck book.

Writers' Retreat, being away from the world of three months to create their own masterpiece—Disasterpieces; this made me think of the Fucking Show titled Big Brother. Inside this book exists really fucked-up characters. Disgusting, I must say. The idea was really an innovation. And as usual, the sick twisted mind of the author didn't fail to make me applause using one hand. In the first place, I didn't know I can do it. This is the new taste of horror, as Chuck said; it’s like humor and horror inside a bottle of beer. Intoxicating. Horrifying. Funny. Really funny.

The world is meant for suffering—for you to suffer. If you understand that, you might chase suffering—and suffering might run away from you. You might even need to feel you're suffering just to feel you're alive and life is worth living. Quoting from Mr. Whittier (a creature from this book) , "Think of a rock polisher, one of those drums, goes round and round, rolls twenty-four/seven, full of water and rocks and gravel. Grinding it all up. Round and round. Polishing those ugly rocks into gemstones. That’s the earth. Why it goes around. We’re the rocks. And what happens to us—the drama and pain and joy and war and sickness and victory and abuse—why, that’s just the water and sand to erode us. Grind us down. To polish us up, nice and bright."

On the characters’ attempt to metamorphose their sufferings into something they can sell, they craft it into stories. They distort it. Make it worse. Make it better. Make it unreal.The story behind the story behind the story. The truth behind the truth. The reality behind the reality. Perhaps, that is what's happening in this world. The world being turned into fiction. Isn't that at least scary?

The narrative style of Chuck in Haunted is really incomparable. And this book of his, hits a lot of things. Obviously, you might know what those things are.

The book is definitely Haunted. The cover of the book should be given beyond five stars. Now, let me clap with one hand. *clap
(less)

7 likes · like · see review

Nov 06, 2007 Cynthia rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: shock-seekers and Palahniuk fans.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.
Instead of reviewing the entire novel, I will just be focusing on my personal favourite chapter "Guts".
To date, there have been 53 known occurrences of audience members fainting during readings of “Guts”. This doesn’t surprise me at all, knowing the repulsive content of the story.
"Guts" is your mother, father, preacher and teacher shaking that disapproving finger at self pleasure. Needless to say, this short story will have you thinking twice about creeping that wondering...more WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.
Instead of reviewing the entire novel, I will just be focusing on my personal favourite chapter "Guts".
To date, there have been 53 known occurrences of audience members fainting during readings of “Guts”. This doesn’t surprise me at all, knowing the repulsive content of the story.
"Guts" is your mother, father, preacher and teacher shaking that disapproving finger at self pleasure. Needless to say, this short story will have you thinking twice about creeping that wondering hand down your pants at night. The narrator Saint Gut-Free (who’s alias is explained at the end of the chapter) a specifically terrifying masturbation escapade. While finding satisfaction in his family pool by sticking his rear end in the water intake at the bottom of the pool, Gut-Free finds his small intestines -in Layman’s terms- being sucked out of his asshole. All the while submerged under water. In a desperate attempt to reach the surface for air, he gnaws through the innards with his own teeth. We have all studied anatomy and know that human waste passes through the small intestine before happily plopping down in your toilet. Let’s just assume that Gut-Free wasn’t enjoying a delicious five-star meal. However, the tale doesn’t end here. The Saint’s original motive in the pool was achieved, and the left over sperm later impregnated his younger sister while she was enjoying an evening swim. It’s not shocking that the family had the child aborted before it could be conceived by the preteen girl.
Now, when asked why he is oh so heroinly chic thin, Saint Gut -Free can only smile. His six inches of remained small intestines don't allow much room for weight gain. Thus he is "Gut-Free".
Not only did this tale send shivers down my spine, but a suppressed chuckle in my throat as well. I found Palahniuk's writing style to be unique and innovative. What captured me the most was the straight-forward, bare-all tone that was conveyed through the narrator. He, a self diagnosed compulsive masturbator and sex addict explains his experience all too vividly. It makes the reader feel as if they too are chowing down on feces infested intestines in a swimming pool. And of course I mean that in the best way possible. (less)

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Aug 16, 2007 Rachel rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: chuck, fiction

This is chuck's worst work. It pains me to say that, but its just true. a group of would-be writers on a writer's retreat each is given the chance to tell a story. The stories are all basically gross for the sake of being gross with little to no redeeming value.

One infamous story involving a pool was so hard to get through I had to take 3 breaks. Its so descriptive and disgusting I had to take a breather for fear of vomiting (i am not alone in this, he read this particular story at signings and...more

15 likes · like · see review

Jul 17, 2007 Cloudhidden rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: no one

This is honestly the worst book I have ever read. I finished it, only because of my amazement at how bad it was and how it never deviated from that.

I was intrigued by the premise: a group of writers volunteer to go on a retreat to write their masterpiece. The book has a chapter of plot, followed by either a poem or short story from one of the participants. Sounds cool!

The book falls apart immediately. All of the stories/poems are obviously written by the same person. They share themes, style, an...more

17 likes · like · see review

Mar 23, 2012 Simona Bartolotta rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Palahniuk, hai per caso voglia di prendermi per i fondelli?

Questa la domanda che mi martellava il cervello sin dalle prime dieci pagine. La ragione è semplice: questo non è un libro, è un mucchio di stupidate.
Stupidata numero 1), le poesie di inizio -o fine?- capitolo. Ora, spiegatemi quali stranezze dovrebbero comunicarmi data la loro completa assenza di un qualsivoglia significato.
Stupidata 2), i personaggi. Di una piattezza assurda. Non uno che faccia sfoggio di un carattere un po' diverso d...more Palahniuk, hai per caso voglia di prendermi per i fondelli?

Questa la domanda che mi martellava il cervello sin dalle prime dieci pagine. La ragione è semplice: questo non è un libro, è un mucchio di stupidate.
Stupidata numero 1), le poesie di inizio -o fine?- capitolo. Ora, spiegatemi quali stranezze dovrebbero comunicarmi data la loro completa assenza di un qualsivoglia significato.
Stupidata 2), i personaggi. Di una piattezza assurda. Non uno che faccia sfoggio di un carattere un po' diverso dalla massa.
(Sto davvero parlando di carattere con questi personaggi? Mi correggo: non ce l'hanno, un carattere. Non fanno altro che pensare a come fare soldi una volta usciti dalla prigionia e al modo più teatrale di scannarsi tra loro.)
Stupidata 3), la storia di fondo, che fa da cornice ai racconti. O più che la storia in sé, lo sviluppo, perché l'idea di partenza era assai intrigante. Ma diamine, sviluppata male, male, male.
Stupidata/inutilità 4), la perversione pazzesca di cui l'autore vuole informarci di essere dotato più o meno ogni tre righe. E qui devo aprire una lunga parentesi.
Chiariamoci, non ho nulla in contrario verso i romanzi con quella punta di macabro che spesso e volentieri costituisce la ciliegina sulla torta; non ho nulla in contrario ai romanzi con un pizzico di erotismo, non ci scandalizziamo mica. Ma, a mio parere, quando inserisci nella tua storia determinati elementi in così abbondante quantità, quegli elementi devono avere una funzione narrativa che non sia semplicemente fine a se stessa. Io, in quanto lettrice pienamente in possesso delle mie facoltà mentali, mi sento insultata nel leggere qualcosa che mi dà l'impressione di perdersi a metà strada senza raggiungere un obiettivo concreto. Mi sento presa in giro, ecco. Mi hai fatto leggere questa accozzaglia di vaneggiamenti su tipi perversi, macellai, barboni e massaggiatrici di piedi che uccidono (WTF?) per portarmi alla conclusione che... cosa?

Caro signor Chuck, io voglio crederti sulla fiducia, e per questo continuerò a credere che le tue intenzioni erano buone e che tu credevi che questi raccontini mi avrebbero trasmesso qualcosa di importante. Non è stato così. Magari tu volevi comunicarmi la tua idea e sono stata io che non l'ho recepita. Questo tuo modo di spiegarti non mi piace. Potresti essere più chiaro e ragionevole, la prossima volta?(less)

8 likes · like · see review

Feb 05, 2008 Jorge rated it 4 of 5 stars

Los Fantasmas de Palahniuk.
Para todos aquellos con tripas de buena hechura, para no caer en el desmayo como los setenta que han desfallecido en las lecturas publicas del autor durante su tour. Para los que disfruten de la severa critica de la cultura y vida estadounidense. Para los que los procesos mas mórbidos del cuerpo, desde los diferentes mecanismos que toman parte en la muerte por asfixia, por quemadura o la podredumbre de la descomposición humana les resulten interesantes. Para los que e...more

5 likes · like · see review

Feb 01, 2013 Marvin rated it 2 of 5 stars

Warning: The cover of this edition glows in the dark. Do not place on your bed stand unless you want to have a heart attack. I speak from experience.

There are 21 short stories in Haunted. Some of them are amazing such as the notorious "Guts". Others are so-so. A couple of them are just boring. All of them are written to shock yet the brevity of the tales keeps both writer and reader focused. If this was a short story collection, I would rate it a strong three stars.

Unfortunately it is not. Palah...more

7 likes · like · see review

Jul 27, 2008 Toby rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Sometimes in the humor section of the bookstore you can find a spoof of a popular book or writer. That's not what Haunted is, but it's the first thing that comes to mind.

While the cover promises that Haunted is "A Novel," the innards tell a different story: 24 short short stories and 24 prose poems tied together by a thin framing device. This frame is supposed to evoke storytelling parties of the past, such as the Canterbury Tales or the Decameron, in which the participants each tell a story. He...more

10 likes · like · see review

May 11, 2008 Josh Cutting rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book is incredibly uneven, that's its downfall. There are some really good moments, some really bad moments, and one or two truly brillant ones. Looking at it as what it essentially is; a collection of short stories, it's really no better or worse than any other short story collection, and actually should get extra points for its brazen audacity. The unifying material that links all of the stories together is terribly weak, and is what ultimately sinks the book.

The first story "Guts" is the...more

19 likes · like · see review

Jan 24, 2008 Patrick rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2005

I was really excited about this one after being disappointed with "Lullaby" and "Diary." Basically, it's a book of short stories each by a fictional author, each introduced by a poem about the writer, and linked together by mini-chapters about the writers' retreat they are all on. Trapped in a house and running out of food, they write, record, and videotape their experience, certain that when they are finally rescued, they will all become media darlings destined for reality tv fame, if any of th...more

13 likes · like · see review

Sep 11, 2007 Emily rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: chuckpalahniuk

easily the most disgusting book i've ever read. There's an afterword at the end where he talks about how books are the only medium where you have free range to tell the story however you want to tell it, to say whatever you want to say. Whereas in movies, you're trying to hit a certain audience and your work is censored and edited to a certain extent. Books alow you to travel to this deep, dark secret private place inside yourself. That's why he writes. A very compelling explanation. I think one...more

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Nov 24, 2007 Linda rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: those who are easily morbidly fascinated

Shelves: fiction

So I went to a very tiny library for the first time ever. Library was so tiny that the only book by Chuck Palahniuk was Haunted. (They only had three Stephen King books shelved!)I was hoping to find Choke or Diary as my cherry-popping experience with Chuck Palahniuk. Alas, I made due with Haunted which I've heard nothing about prior to the day I started reading it.

Since then I read that the first short story was actually featured in Playboy.

Also, my brother said he heard during the public readin...more

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May 07, 2013 Jeff S rated it 5 of 5 stars

Oh Man, that was a good book. Hard to keep my lunch down at times but enjoyable to say the least. Like all of his books there is a theme behind them that says abandon what you think you know about yourself to find out what you are truely made of. This book isn't for everyone though, I highly doubt it will ever be on the big screen as CP can bearly get through public readings of it without people fainting from the blunt force trama that is CP mindfucking you.
"A book takes time and effort to cons...more

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Jun 18, 2008 Mikey Terry rated it 1 of 5 stars

Absolute trash. It's sad when an author has an excellent social commentary and then butchers it with stories about eating newborns, self mutilation, and stagnant plot progression.

5 likes · like · see review

Apr 06, 2009 Thee_ron_clark rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: mystery, other, other-horror, other-stuff

Murder, rape, castration, sex, masturbation, mutilation, and deception are just a few parts of this truly twisted novel. This is the third book I have read by Chuck Palahniuk and by far the best and most disturbing at the same time.

The story follows a group of would be authors, poets, and screen writers who agree to a three-month retreat away from the world in which they can create their masterpieces. Once locked away in a huge and inescapable old theater, the folks from the retreat find it dif...more

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May 20, 2013 Jessica Chase rated it 3 of 5 stars

I happen to be one of those annoying Chuck Palahniuk fans everyone keeps talking about, but even I didn't like this one so much. The stories were good and bad, some really good, some just plain okay. But the whole writer's retreat part was a wonderful idea of course, you know, dark and gritty, but the whole Bizzaro style fiction thing, I don't know, I didn't even find the blood and gore that disturbing really, the story just wasn't good enough to put me into a fantasy. Yes there are some very di...more

1 like · like · see review

Sep 03, 2008 Scoobs rated it 1 of 5 stars

boo

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Aug 06, 2012 Travis rated it 4 of 5 stars

The book was a difficult read. Even more difficult to review. I struggled with how many stars to give it to the point where I've waited a few weeks to even write a review. It wasn't my favorite book by any means but I didn't hate it either. What it did do was stir so much visceral emotion that I haven't been able to pick up another book since. A reaction that intense warrants recognition so I reluctantly opted for 4 stars purely on its dark influence over my joy of reading (or lack there of now)...more

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Apr 06, 2012 Ryland Dinneen rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: horror lovers, short story readers

Here is a question I want all you avid readers to think about:
Have you ever read a story that has made you question what genre it actually may be?
Ok, well if you are an avid reader then that is a definite yes. We have all read short stories and then asked ourself afterwords, "What the hell was that all about?". In this book, there are a few of those, and because of Chuck Palahniuk's oddly unique writing style, some are very hard to keep up with.
"Writer's Retreat: Abandon your life for three mont...more Here is a question I want all you avid readers to think about:
Have you ever read a story that has made you question what genre it actually may be?
Ok, well if you are an avid reader then that is a definite yes. We have all read short stories and then asked ourself afterwords, "What the hell was that all about?". In this book, there are a few of those, and because of Chuck Palahniuk's oddly unique writing style, some are very hard to keep up with.
"Writer's Retreat: Abandon your life for three months." A bunch of writers answer an add that reads these words, hoping to leave the hustle and bustle of everyday life to work on a literary masterpiece. With odd nicknames given to them based on the stories they have told (Saint Gut-Free, Lady Baglady, Baroness Frostbite, etc.), they venture on to a bus with the creator of this retreat, Mr. Whittier, to an old and abandoned theater. Soon it becomes apparent that they are trapped inside with scarcely limited food, heat, water, and electricity. Yet that is not the entire story. Each character has a story to tell about themselves or people they know. Before every story comes a quick free-verse poem about the character, and inbetween every story is a narrative about the affairs of the trapped characters. The stories told can get gruesome, creepy, funny, ironic, but all undoubtedly dark.
The thing is, Chuck has made things very difficult. Not the plot itself, but how he has written it. Often the book becomes very vague and hard to understand, requiring multiple times reading to actually be caught up with the current events. Converstions between characters actually hardly ever happen in the novel, and only short remarks are made in a seemingly random way that not all readers would particularily enjoy. To quickly say, it definetly is different than most writing styles, and I appreciate it for that, yet that doesn't mean it is a great writing style. It almost seems to come and go, if that sounds rational. Things aren't often described in great detail, but more like descriptive sentences. Or just one descriptive sentence. Yet there is more to the book that should be noted.
This book is not as disgusting and vile as it is made out to be. Then again, I did read "American Psycho", and once you read that NOTHING is disgusting anymore. But really, unless you cannot handle gore, this book should not truly mortify you like most reviews say it will. I would have to say the only story that truly disgusted me was the first one, "Guts", the notorious story about a boy who gets his intestines sucked out of his anus and into the filter of his pool while masturbating underwater. It does make one shudder, believe me. A few more did strike me as gruesome, such as Hot Potting, Ritual, and Poster Child. A few of the stories did have humour to them and made me giggle, such as Punch Drunk. Many stories do not make a bit of sense and are easily forgetable, such as Green Room, Something's Got To Give, and Ambition. Yet you must pull through the bad to get to the good. A few stories are flawless, to begin with. These stories include Guts, Civil Twilight, Exodus, Slumming, and my personal favourite, The Nightmare Box, all because they effectlivly send chills down your spine. The Nightmare Box raises many questions that are left semi-answered by Chuck - the way they should be. I won't spoil, but it is definelty the most chilling, suspenseful, disturbing, philosophical, magical, and utterly fantastic story I have ever read. It almost makes me wonder why Chuck didn't write more of stories like that. Sigh.
The narrative is what I would say oddly gruesome. Picture yourself with no food, and when delivering your other trap-mate's baby, deciding to eat it out of hunger. Then eating the mother.
Uh..yeah no thank you.
Luckily for us, events like these are not described in great deal, which is why it is not as disgusting as it is made out to seem. They are often implied by one-liners after the event. Lucky us.
I would have to say that the most interesting part of this book would be the descent into madness on the character's part. They begin dreaming of how the press will find them and the movies they will make out of this. The characters grow to love the pain they are in, so much that they begin self-mutilation just to receive the most attention when they are found. Villains are elected to be the most hated, and the events that actually happened are changed by the character's mind so that they become more interesting (in this case, most horrid and terrifying). Chuck masterfully shows us how quickly the dark side in everyone can come out.
I do suggest this book. Yet be forewarned, it is more gross than it is scary. It will take half the book to actually become interested, and do not feel guilty if you just want to leave the book because of lack of interest. Though this is a fun read, there are alot of better books out there.(less)

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Apr 13, 2013 Nymphredyl rated it 5 of 5 stars

My parents are doctors. They've never been particular about their jobs and they never saw anything wrong with taking me to their working places or letting me watch them (I was rather well behaved) considering my father's line of work takes him into the forensic area I can handle a lot.
I must recognize with shame that 10 pages, perhaps, into the book I seriously considered quitting despite my cinism but in the end, most likely because of my cinism ( yeah I looked at the back of the book with the...more

1 like · like · see review

Jan 08, 2013 Victory Grey rated it 3 of 5 stars

I first read this book right after it came out, and didn't love it. Being it's been a number of years, I decided to revisit it and determine just what it was that I didn't like about it in comparison with Palahiuk's other books, which for the most part I have enjoyed.

Before you write my comments off as the same one tends to hear about this book, it isn't the over-the-top horror or graphic nature of the storytelling that bothered me with this book. It's rather the actual structure of the book fee...more I first read this book right after it came out, and didn't love it. Being it's been a number of years, I decided to revisit it and determine just what it was that I didn't like about it in comparison with Palahiuk's other books, which for the most part I have enjoyed.

Before you write my comments off as the same one tends to hear about this book, it isn't the over-the-top horror or graphic nature of the storytelling that bothered me with this book. It's rather the actual structure of the book feels so forced, the frame narrative so concocted around the short stories that it was just impossible to be immersed in the story. My chief complaint revolves around a stylistic component, and though I'm sure some would argue with me, it goes like this:

There are something like 17 characters in this book, each one a writer. Each one with a horrible story in their past that have resulted in their wanting to break free of the ugly world, to escape a society that has somehow failed them or simply failed to include them. As each writer tells their story, the perspective shifts from the big collective "we-us-our" perspective and into first person. And every damn one of them has the exact same voice. Palahiuk's voice. In most of his other books, this works out, the character can still form with his style, his short sentences, his chorusing, his particular way of making a point. This book exposes a limitation to his style, which in many books works as a strength: his voice is just far too distinctive to pull this off. Every character, in first person, speaks the same way. Makes references the same way. There is no effort to change style in the least. This problem extends to the poem that introduces each character before their story. When it shifts back into the narrative after the story, or when the narrative pokes through the story (since we're to assume that, despite being writers and despite that the titles say the story is BY the character, all the stories are being told verbally), again--same voice. This lends itself to the novel's second weakness, which is its characters. Everything being told with this blanket-voice, despite the author's best efforts to mold them otherwise, the characters suffer. They are caricatures of villains, outcasts, with no redeeming qualities. The only marginally sympathetic characters do not receive much focus due to the fact the the rest of the occupants of the old theater are far more interesting to play with from a writer's standpoint. Who are you supposed to root for in this book? Are we supposed to be embracing our intrinsically ribald nature by enjoying their self-inflicted suffering, hoping to see them fail or hoping to see one of them emerge as the group's conscience?

Haunted is a novel full to its margins with villains, and not a protagonist in sight. No one to cheer on, even despite yourself. Stylistic choice or no, a commentary on the people created by our society or not, for a novel to have momentum, a reader yearns for a character to root for. A writer's job is to make a reader care about a character, sometimes against their own will. Palahniuk only succeeds in creating a zoo of characters to hate. You want them all to fail, to get what's coming to them, and the book only alludes to that ending. We are not even given the satisfaction of seeing their grand, grotesque scheme backfire entirely, we are simply left to conclude that it will, that it does, that this collection of awful people receive what they ultimately deserve.

The premise is forced, watery, built around a gimmick, over the top at times, and just plain difficult to get through for all its literary self-awareness and satire. This is one of Palahiuk's least enjoyable reads, second only to the tangled dialectic mess that is Pygmy, which is a chore to read for entirely different reasons.(less)

1 like · like · see review

Sep 07, 2011 Catherine Forbes rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: horror

A group of amateur writers decide to get whisked away to a writers retreat; a place where they can write their masterpieces away from the bothers of everyday life. They soon realise they cannot escape the so-called retreat and take matters into their own hands. What better way to become famous than being a survivor of a horrible kidnapping? The group start to make things worse for themselves; destroying the food they have, breaking the heater, etc. They become crazy, even chopping off fingers a...more A group of amateur writers decide to get whisked away to a writers retreat; a place where they can write their masterpieces away from the bothers of everyday life. They soon realise they cannot escape the so-called retreat and take matters into their own hands. What better way to become famous than being a survivor of a horrible kidnapping? The group start to make things worse for themselves; destroying the food they have, breaking the heater, etc. They become crazy, even chopping off fingers and toes, just to make themselves look worse for when they are rescued. Each tells stories along the way, trying to shock each other.

I tried to get through this book. I really did. It did start off as promising, but it became awful. So terribly awful. Why read a book you aren’t enjoying, right? I wasted time, time I could have spent reading something else. But oh well, these things happen. I read half of this and instantly regretted buying it. I see now folk tend to exaggerate on their reviews, and by a great deal.

The first story told by Saint Gut-Free was entertaining. I believe others have had a hard time reading it, even wanting to vomit, but I can say, gore in books, no matter in how much detail, doesn’t affect me in the slightest.

Everything after that was bad. The stories were boring and the characters completely stupid. I really hope they all die because they deserve to. Also, the writing was annoying and made me think how? How can people possibly like this book?

The whole thing was supposed to make you think of the darkness inside people. In this case, how they will do anything for money. If the rest of humanity were like this lot, we would have died out long ago. We are the most intelligent species for a reason. Honestly, I can't say I'd start hacking off digits and near kill myself for the hope of money. There are people who would, obviously, and do so, but around fifteen people and none of them had any sense.

Will I try to read this again in the future? HELL NO!

© Catherine Forbes 2011(less)

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Feb 22, 2011 Tee Jay rated it 2 of 5 stars

This is a bad book barely held together by fleeting and brief moments of fantastic insight. Just when I felt like I was wasting my time and the novel couldn't get any more disgusting, stupid, boring, or any other negative sentiment, it would then turn for just a brief second and capture my interest fully and completely. At these dispersed points the book would almost redeem itself. Then, within no time at all, the nice respite from the garbage prose would come to an end and the author would then...more

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Aug 13, 2009 Dan rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: novels

The novel begins with a group of people getting on a bus that is going to take them to a writer’s retreat where, for three months, they will be able to work on their short stories, novels, screenplays, and poems. During this time, they will have no phone, no Internet, no newspapers, no television. The characters tell each other short stories, and in this respect, the novel resembles works like Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and Bocaccio’s The Decameron. However, they begin running out of food, and t...more The novel begins with a group of people getting on a bus that is going to take them to a writer’s retreat where, for three months, they will be able to work on their short stories, novels, screenplays, and poems. During this time, they will have no phone, no Internet, no newspapers, no television. The characters tell each other short stories, and in this respect, the novel resembles works like Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and Bocaccio’s The Decameron. However, they begin running out of food, and then some of the guests die violently. Moreover, they are inside a building with a locked door, and they do not know where the key is.

As the circumstances of their detention become more critical, there is a kind of competition among the characters to see who can suffer the most and thus become the victim on whom the media will focus its attention; in this way Palahniuk’s novel is a comment on victim culture and on reality television shows like Survivor .

One problem in terms of realism is that although the different stories are represented as having been written by different characters, the style of writing does not differ greatly from story to story: the style of Brandon Whittier resembles that of the Earl of Slander, which resembles that of Lady Baglady, etc. All right, so Mother Nature repeats a particular phrase at the beginning of many of her sentences, and Sister Vigilante writes sentences that are grammatically awkward because of repetitions of the subject of the sentence, but in general most of these characters write like Palahniuk. This is not a bad thing—Palahniuk is a really entertaining writer. But is it realistic that two-dozen people getting together at a writers’ retreat would all write like Palahniuk? Would it not be more realistic if there were some difference among the writing styles of the different characters? And if some stories were included that had actual problems of organization and expression? I know, I know, you’re more likely interested in reading this book because you like Palahniuk’s style, not because you’re looking for realism. I like Palahniuk’s style too. I’m just saying, the way he’s got almost two dozen different characters here each telling a story, he could have tried something a little different.

There is something amusing about the cover of the book that I only found out about when I kept the book beside my bed for late-night reading.
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Jan 23, 2011 Misha marked it as to-read

Shelves: unfinished

Feeling misanthropic today. Seems like a good time to pick up some Palahniuk.

Guts. So, this is the story that makes people puke? Eh. I mean, it's gross, but is it really any more shocking than those urban legends about Richard Gere and the gerbil? I'm still holding my dinner.

While I'm on the subject of gerbiling: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBJ3rk...

What else have you got, Palahniuk? Bring it.

A couple of passages I like:

- The air will always be too filled with something. Your body too sore o...more

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Aug 19, 2008 Krystal rated it 5 of 5 stars

Don't be fooled, I may have chosen 5 stars for this novel, but not because I loved it. This book is dynamic.

This novel looks so innocent and harmless, sitting there with it's ghostly lavender and white cover and "Fight Club" was great, I'll give it a read.

This novel will stretch you to breaking point and beyond what you have ever read before. To give an example, when Chuck Palahniuk gives a public reading of the short story "Guts", the ambulance shows up before the end of it. People have fainted...more

7 likes · like · see review

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The Nation 2.0: Thoughts?	9	45	Apr 12, 2013 05:39am
The WTF? Book Club: Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk (September Book Selection))	6	27	Feb 08, 2013 11:43pm
What's The Name o...: People locked in an old theater as part of a writing project [s]	6	25	Jan 23, 2013 03:25pm
WTF?: The WTF? Book Club Discussion (September)	1	13	Sep 26, 2012 03:49am
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About Chuck Palahniuk

Charles Michael "Chuck" Palahniuk is an American Transgressional fiction novelist and freelance journalist of Ukrainian ancestry born in Pasco, Washington. The press release for his book, Rant, states he is now living in Vancouver, Washington. He is best known for the award-winning novel Fight Club, which was later made into a film directed by David Fincher.

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“People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves.” — 722 people liked it

“The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people. And maybe the reason vampires don’t die is because they can never see themselves in photographs or mirrors.” — 398 people liked it

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