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Comfort & Joy

4.08 of 5 stars 4.08 · rating details · 504 ratings · 48 reviews

Ford McKinney is a devastatingly handsome, successful doctor, raised in an old Savannah family among good breeding and money. His longtime boyfriend, Dan Krell, is a shy hospital administrator with a painful childhood past. When the holidays arrive, they decide it's time to go home together. But the depth of their commitment is tested when Ford's parents cannot reconcile t...more

Paperback, 291 pages

Published October 1st 2003 by Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill (first published 1993)

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Jan 04, 2009 Punk rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: queer

Fiction. Full of flashbacks, red herrings, and the unsettling business of hemophilia, this novel jerked me around until I lost track of which Christmas it was and what occasion it marked for Dan and Ford's relationship. Complete with half-assed themes (Ford has a little boy inside him; Dan has two people inside him -- what? why? who?) and the gay equivalent of Cold Comfort Farm's famously vague "something nasty in the woodshed," this book left me feeling both cheated and disturbed. Something ba...more

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Feb 10, 2009 Alan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Dan Krell is an introverted hospital bureaucrat with a painful childhood past. Ford Mckinny is an attractive, successful doctor raised in an old-money, Eastern family. The two meet and form a somewhat shaky relationship, and before it achieves stability, the holidays roll around and they decide to go home as a couple. But the depth of their commitment is sorely tested when Ford’s family cannot reconcile themselves to their son’s sexuality, and Dan’s long-kept family secrets are somewhat revealed...more Dan Krell is an introverted hospital bureaucrat with a painful childhood past. Ford Mckinny is an attractive, successful doctor raised in an old-money, Eastern family. The two meet and form a somewhat shaky relationship, and before it achieves stability, the holidays roll around and they decide to go home as a couple. But the depth of their commitment is sorely tested when Ford’s family cannot reconcile themselves to their son’s sexuality, and Dan’s long-kept family secrets are somewhat revealed. Will strife tear them apart or make their love stronger?

My impressions while reading the first hundred or so pages was, here we go again, another coming out story, that is, searching for love and acceptance, not only between the main romantic-interest characters, but also from friends and family. Admittedly there is much of that, but Comfort&Joy blossoms into a story of thoughtful beauty that explores the complexities of commitment and desire as two men journey towards love.

There were times with the prose seemed too detailed, tediously so. Yet that detail, I realized, transformed mundane situations into glittering moments filled with meaning.

Beautifully written as it is, I had two major complaints about the story. The first was that much of Dan Krell’s past that was supposedly so painful, was hinted at but was really never exposed to my satisfaction, which left me sorely disappointed. He was the one character that I liked and wanted to understand, but either I didn’t get it, or the story fell short.

The second problem I had was that Ford McKinny’s back story was long and tedious, and a bit too cliché. Also, the fact that he was nearing or slightly beyond 30 years old and was afraid to come out to his parents, did not make him a sympathetic character in my eyes. It’s a personal bias, but I’ve grown tired of gay men who are shown as being weaklings who are afraid to come out. I felt that anyone who had the strength and gumption to survive years of medical school and internship would have the nerve to face his parents and say “I’m gay, deal with it!” Had this story happened in the fifties or sixties, I could better understand, but not today.

That said, I still enjoyed the story and recommend it to anyone looking for a sensitive, passionate, and finely wrought love story. The prose is delightfully written, which added greatly to my enjoyment of a truly worthwhile read.

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Dec 29, 2008 Trin rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: american-lit, fiction, queerlit

This is a queer romance, set around Christmas, so I thought it would be the perfect holiday read for me. Um. Not so much. The tone is just so dour—I’m not sure there’s a joke in the entire book. Neither Ford nor Dan particularly grabbed me. And Grimsley has this annoying tendency to write sentences. That stop. And devolve. Into fragments. Argh!

There are some nice atmospheric moments, but I never felt involved with the characters and was thus pretty bored.

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May 07, 2013 Ulysses Dietz rated it 5 of 5 stars

What draws two people together? What makes them decide to be a couple? How do they overcome the barriers that divide them; the things they hate about each other in spite of their love?

"Comfort & Joy" is a beautiful book in the tradition of Eudora Welty--a very southern story that nonetheless resonates across any such regional distinction. It is about two men, but the pieces of their stories could be assigned to any two people's lives. Grimsley fills the book with seemingly inconsequential mi...more What draws two people together? What makes them decide to be a couple? How do they overcome the barriers that divide them; the things they hate about each other in spite of their love?

"Comfort & Joy" is a beautiful book in the tradition of Eudora Welty--a very southern story that nonetheless resonates across any such regional distinction. It is about two men, but the pieces of their stories could be assigned to any two people's lives. Grimsley fills the book with seemingly inconsequential minutia that offer the reader a crystalline vision of two people's lives as they slowly begin to merge. It demonstrates in a mature, adult way both the accidental quality of love, and its ability to endure and thrive in spite of the essential brokenness of human nature.

The set-pieces that make up the structure of the narrative, which spans the time around two consecutive Christmases, are all familiar from both film and literature. Clashing backgrounds, difficult families, traumatic childhoods--and yet in "Comfort & Joy" they are specific to these men and their lives. Grimsley has tailored broad realities to the uniqueness of Ford and Dan. He manages to dance around the edges of stereotype (rich Savannah, poor backwoods North Carolina) without ever falling into caricature. These people feel real, like people I've met.

All of the ingredients of a typical "gay romance" are here--and yet not one of them is used in a romantic way. There is nothing easy here, and yet the discomfort is never so great as to ruin the pleasure of reading Grimsley's prose and following these two complex, sympathetic men on their journey.

As usual, I ignored the rave reviews and read the negative ones. Everyone's entitled to his opinion, but the negative reviews were idiotic. As someone who's shared a life with another man for 37 years, there is a goldmine of truth here, unmitigated by violins and unbridled declarations of love. If you know nothing about gay people, this would be a good place to start. If you are part of a couple of any sort, you'll find echoes of your own life in these pages, even if the basics are unfamiliar.(less)

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Mar 23, 2013 Jaya rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: good, slashreaders

SlashReaders: I've read a number of Jim Grimsely's books over the years and they fall into two categories for me. I either enjoy them or they just leave me feeling rather apathetic about them. I have yet to be able to really define the difference. 'Comfort & Joy', is not what I would describe as a happy book, it deals with a lot of issues and baggage. One of the things that I find intriguing and also frustrating about Grimsley's writing is his tendency to jump from one scene to another witho...more

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Jun 07, 2012 Brian Bixler rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

when I turned the last page of "Comfort & Joy," I couldn't wait to explore more of Jim Grimsley's titles. I had fallen in love not only with the characters but the language. These were people I wish I knew, that I would welcome as friends. It has become one of my favorite books. This novel about a comforting, joyous and loving relationship between two men really moved me. I was intrigued by the book's mysteries, the allusions to tragedy whose secrets remained buried in the pages, leaving the...more

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Jun 09, 2011 Jeruen Dery rated it 4 of 5 stars

I suppose after having read a couple of books that took me a full month to read, this is something different. It only took me this weekend to actually finish this novel.

So, what is this novel about? This novel talks about the challenges that a same-sex couple faced, dealing with each other, and also dealing with their families. One is a doctor, coming from a very upper-class family from the southern US, while the other is a hospital administrator, and his family doesn't have a lot of money. The...more I suppose after having read a couple of books that took me a full month to read, this is something different. It only took me this weekend to actually finish this novel.

So, what is this novel about? This novel talks about the challenges that a same-sex couple faced, dealing with each other, and also dealing with their families. One is a doctor, coming from a very upper-class family from the southern US, while the other is a hospital administrator, and his family doesn't have a lot of money. The doctor makes a lot of money, while the hospital administrator has health problems. He has hemophilia, and due to that he is HIV positive. Thus, there are plenty of conflicts in this book. And somehow I am surprised that the author was able to pack it all in less than 300 pages.

So, what do I like about this book? Well, style-wise, I like the fact that the story was written in a non-linear fashion. The narrative did not follow temporal order but instead were linked together in thematic order. This placed the burden of linking to the reader, which I liked. This meant that the author trusted the reader to have the intelligence to be able to do this. Aside from this, a lot of importance has been placed with the dialogue. The reader is therefore given the ability to infer the character's emotions by discerning this from the dialogue between each character.

I suppose if I would find something that is negative in this book, is the fact that there are too many conflicts in the story. Yes, there is the issue of same-sex relationships and acceptance, there is the issue of hemophilia and HIV, there is the issue of family relations and parental expectations with respect to their children. I guess I feel that there is too much drama. I rarely read LGBT literature, so I do not know whether this is a trend or not when it comes to this genre, but the only other LGBT novel that I read a couple of years back was similar in structure: there was a lot of emotional turmoil inside. I am not saying that non-LGBT literature has the right amount of drama, but I wish there was more aside from the emotional conflicts that was portrayed in this book.

So, did I enjoy this? Yes. Would I recommend it, perhaps. If one wants a novel that easily swoons one's emotions, and is a page-turner because one's feelings are affected, then this is one such book. However, is this a book that would induce one to ponder about more complex and complicated things? Perhaps not. In that sense, it felt like an airport novel: one doesn't need to engage one's brain power too much in order to understand the various conflicts that the book presents, and the conflict is transparent enough to hold the reader in attention in order for the pages to turn, so by the end of the trip, the novel is finished. After all, I was able to read it in just 3 days.
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Dec 31, 2012 Liz Winters rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m

I really loved the author's writing style. I can't even aspire to write as well as he does. His writing especially shone for me in his description of the relationship between Dan and Ford. Both of the characters really came to life and it was easy to feel everything they were feeling as they progressed through the story.

There was such artistry in the way the author painted the scenes between the men, from the awkward beginning of the relationship, through the inevitable bumps and problem resolut...more

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Oct 29, 2010 Matt rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is another wonderful Jim Grimsley book. As usual the storyline is somewhat dark and you wonder if things are going to end up tragically or not.

In brief, it's the story of a physician, who is gradually coming to terms with "possibly" being gay, falling for a hospital administrator who is openly gay. They are both from vastly different backgrounds which complicates their relationship.

The physician is from an extremely wealthy and prestigious family in Savannah, Georgia, and his family absolut...more

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Dec 27, 2012 Richard rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-12

Jim Grimsley also wrote Dream Boy, which I completely love. This makes reading his other books a little tricky, since I can't help but have high expectations. Comfort and Joy had been kicking around my apartment for a few years because I was saving it for a holiday read... and every year I would either forget or be too busy. Until now.

It doesn't completely suck, but it does seem a little superficial. The stakes are very slight, and the biggest threat to Ford and Dan's extremely low-key romance i...more

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Jan 05, 2013 Talya Andor rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jim Grimsley's writing style is lyrical in a very natural, unforced way. This is a book with many unhappy themes, but it seems fitting for the holidays when some of us are headed for the kind of conflicts with our partner and families the way this one is. It's focused on interpersonal relationships, primarily that between the two main protagonists. An important contextual note is the fact that this book was written in the early 1990s, and takes place in the South. Having an open relationship the...more

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Jan 25, 2013 Ed Hartnett rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was one of those rare books that I so wanted the story to continue for another 100 pages or so. I was so drawn in to Ford & Dan's relationship that when I was getting down to the last 20 pages, I did not want their story to end. Seeing their love for each other grow throughout the novel, seeing Ford finally getting comfortable in his own skin and not be self-loathing about his being gay, seeing him finally facing his self-righteous, narrow-minded parents and essentially tell them to go...more

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Sep 09, 2011 Manuela rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: tearjerker, mm, disability

This story has a slow pace, which sometimes bores me in books. It's not the case here. I really enjoyed it. It feels like a journey, for Ford as an individual and for Ford&Dan as a couple. It's sometimes painful, sometimes frustrating, but always speaking of honest feelings of love. At times I wanted to slap some sense into Ford, but then he would always do something to redeem himself. The problems the characters face feel real and so do their reactions to them. Everything is handled by the...more

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Apr 17, 2012 Kernos rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Anyone who is in or knows someone in a Gay relationship.

Recommended to Kernos by: M/M Group

Shelves: gay-fiction

March 22 2010

I can certainly relate to this novel, as I suspect many males in long term spousal relationships can do. I too had to choose between my spouse (of 30 years) and my parents. This book ends with such a choice made by Ford, leaving the future to the experience of the reader. It took about 5 years before my parents came around to accept us completely and now give Chris their love, always ask about him. Sometimes, I even think they like him better than me :-) He has become like an adopte...more

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Mar 14, 2010 Feliz rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, contemporary, german

Original Title: "Comfort and Joy"

Ford McKinney is a wealthy doctor from a family of wealthy doctors. Dan Crell's family is living in a trailer park, and Dan is working as a hospital administrative in the same hospital as Ford.
Both men are gay, but while Dan has long ago come to terms with his sexuality, Ford is still in denial about himself. And what is more, Dan is HIV positive, and a hemophiliac.

That a relationship between the two very unlikely partners should work, is hard to believe, and...more

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Apr 21, 2009 Elisa Ramblings added it

Ford is the classical good boy of a wealthy southern family. Third generation doctor, he has always followed the steps his parents have setted for him. But when he is expected to marry a good girl from a wealthy southern family he begins to question some of that steps. Cause almost by accident, he discovers that he is more attracted from men than women.

Told be truth, till almost his late twenties years, he pleases himself with the adoration from other men. Ford is an handsome man, wealthy, a doc...more Ford is the classical good boy of a wealthy southern family. Third generation doctor, he has always followed the steps his parents have setted for him. But when he is expected to marry a good girl from a wealthy southern family he begins to question some of that steps. Cause almost by accident, he discovers that he is more attracted from men than women.

Told be truth, till almost his late twenties years, he pleases himself with the adoration from other men. Ford is an handsome man, wealthy, a doctor, and he is used to be spoilt first by his family and then by his friends and lovers.

First time he sees Dan, he is impressed by the angel voice of the man singing a Christmas carol. But Dan is a shy man and probably in that moment Ford is not ready for love, and so neither of them make a move. An year after they have the change to meet again and this time Ford finally makes that move. But as always Ford takes the lead and dictats how their relationship should be. Dan, even if shy and average plain jane, is not willing to loose himself in Ford's aurea.

The relationship between them is not simple: even if Ford, step by step, tries to find his way out of the closet, he never claims that Dan is his lover, he uses direct words like "he sleeps with me", but he never one calls him other than my friend. On the other hand Dan comes from a very poor family and he is very stubborn in searching to prove his independence: accept to live with Dan and risk to cancel all his independence's claims is a very hard step. Plus Dan has a critical illness that put at risk their life together: from one part Dan tries to hide the problems his illness affects him, cause it's one more thing that puts him on an inferiority level from Ford, on the other hand Ford, even if conscious and caring of Dan's illness, sometime regrets the boundaries that cause them.

The story travel in two time levels: the main story tell us the journey of Dan and Ford to spend Christmas with Dan's family, and between loving and conformtable family's pictures, we read how Dan and Ford's meet, of all the problems they have to overcome to be together, how always love is never put in question, but that they will succeed. The two time levels converge in one common ending, that could be an happily ever after, and could be not: not all the open issues in their relationship are straightened...

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1565123964/?...(less)

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Oct 12, 2008 Chris rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The holiday season is that time of year when favorites and least-favorites come to mind more often than any other time of year. I look forward to a visit from my favorite aunt, my favorite ornament surfaces for its annual display, and I’m likely to pay several visits to my favorite store. I’m also reminded of my least favorite gift (and somehow remember exactly when and from whom I received it), that least favorite New Year’s Eve I arrived at home on the verge of tears, and my least favorite Chr...more

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Mar 27, 2008 Sianeka rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay-themed

This is the story of Danny Crell, a lonely young man from a harsh and difficult background, and the story of Ford McKinney, a rich and pedigreed young doctor who is also lonely and tired of being pigeon-holed into the life his family has created for him. They find each other and a romance develops. But can they each overcome their background and hangups to let this new love work? This story of men finding love and happiness, and searching together to make a foundation for a long-lasting relation...more

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May 10, 2013 Tricia rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a truly great romance story; it is a quick read that leaves a pleasant impression with the reader. Most of the charm comes from the two main characters who are each well developed and their actions/reactions made understandable through a beautiful narrative. While the story is full of distress and sadness, somehow the overall effect is not depressing, but uplifting. I have not read this author prior, but will certainly investigate his other novels.

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Oct 03, 2011 Snowmore rated it 5 of 5 stars

It's been a few years since I read this book, and I still consider it one of my favourites in the m/m genre, though I hate to limit it to that genre. To me it was just a story looking into the lives of two men and the life they are building together, as one struggles with his family's ideas on his sexuality.

Mr. Grimsley has a fluid writing style, which helped me to become engaged with the characters. I will re-read this book.

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Nov 03, 2009 Katie M. rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2008, queer, 2010, reread, 2012

I'm inexplicably crazy about this book. It's a pretty made-for-tv-movie of a story about a gay couple going home for the holidays, but it's sweet and moving and on the whole entirely convincing. It had some of the aspects of Dream Boy A Novel that I liked (without the unfortunate is-this-a-hallucination-or-did-it-really-happen? ending), and vastly beat out the dark genericness that was Boulevard. Apparently it's the sequel to Winter Birds, which sounds like his classic and one that I probably ne...more

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Aug 02, 2011 Erika rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Erika by: Public Library

Shelves: fiction

This was the second Jim Grimsley novel I have read, and it sent me searching for more books authored by him. In "Comfort and Joy" we meet Danny and Ford, two gay men who fall in love. The story is about making a relationship work, coming out to family and friends and remaining an individual while growing as a couple. The characters seem real with real emotions, and Danny and Ford remind us that love is not about being straight or gay, but about being human. The author handles the love scenes in...more

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May 21, 2012 Kim rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was really engaging particularly the scenes between Dan and Ford. Also the brief relationship between Ford and McKenzie was wonderfully written. The only parts that annoyed me were the scenes with Ford's family not because of their disapproval of the relationship between him and Dan but because they were so cliche an didn't seem like real people.

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Nov 15, 2011 Bob rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Bob by: Goodreads

Shelves: gay-fiction

What a fabulous discovery! Two very different men, a Doctor and a Hospital Administrator work out the many issues of a burgeoning relationship involving both families, work environment and personal demons. I couldn't put it down--the characters were engaging, the plot well-crafted and it reads like buttah. I plan to read more of his work.

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May 25, 2013 Sajan Oshea rated it 5 of 5 stars

It was a really nice story. I am non-native English speaker, so I don't understand the cultural background in the country completely. But every sentence and phrase of the characters the author describes touched me, and sometimes I considered my life while reading. I hope they would be accepted by their family someday.

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Mar 07, 2013 Edina Rose rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm-classic

Sometimes too lyrical and I'm sure people will have something to say about the structure of the story, but overall I liked the author's style. This is one of the best love stories I've read in the MM genre. It's simply WONDERFUL. The love between the two guys, I mean. It's not embellished. It depicts love with its contradictions: I love you but sometimes I hate you too. I want you but sometimes I don't. I want to stay with you but sometimes I want to break up. And the absolute certitude that abo...more

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Jan 25, 2009 maria rated it 5 of 5 stars

this story is about a man bringing his significant other home to meet his family. he is worried because his family is poor while his boyfriend comes from a wealthy family, and also their relationship has been having some problems. this is a love story with real life problems.

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Feb 14, 2013 Scotty rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is one of my favorite books of all time. I've read it 5-6 times and find something interesting about the characters with each reading. Two very different individuals learn to love one another.....and to deal with their families. I highly recommend.

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Jan 22, 2012 Laura rated it 4 of 5 stars

Lovely relationship drama hitting all the right notes. It's impossible not to care deeply about these characters as they struggle to love each other in the face of family conflicts, as well as their own fears and self-doubt. Docked a star for failing to answer a question to my satisfaction--what happened in the house at Harvey Crossroads that so damaged Danny? Otherwise, a very satisfying read, with a great ending.

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Dec 29, 2012 Gwen rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: alphabet-soup

Beautiful.

And now I have to go read Winter Birds.

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About Jim Grimsley

Jim Grimsley is a playwright and novelist. Jim's first novel, Winter Birds, was published by Algonquin Books in 1994. The novel won the 1995 Sue Kaufman Prize for First Fiction from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, and received a special citation from the Ernest Hemingway Foundation. Jim's second novel, Dream Boy, won the American Library Association GLBT Award for Literature (the Stonewa...more Jim Grimsley is a playwright and novelist. Jim's first novel, Winter Birds, was published by Algonquin Books in 1994. The novel won the 1995 Sue Kaufman Prize for First Fiction from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, and received a special citation from the Ernest Hemingway Foundation. Jim's second novel, Dream Boy, won the American Library Association GLBT Award for Literature (the Stonewall Prize) and was a Lambda finalist. His third novel, My Drowning, was released in January 1997 by Algonquin Books and for it he was named Georgia Author of the Year. His fourth novel, Comfort & Joy, was published in October, 1999, and was a Lambda finalist. A fantasy novel, Kirith Kirin, was published by Meisha Merlin Books in 2000 and won the Lambda in the science fiction and horror category for 2001. He has published short fiction in The Ontario Review and Asimov's and his stories have been anthologized in The Year's Best Science Fiction, Volume 16; Men on Men 4; Men on Men 2000; and Best Stories From the South, year 2001. Boulevard, published in 2002 by Algonquin, was again a Lambda finalist in the literature category and won Jim his second Georgia Author of the Year designation. His novel, The Ordinary, a science fiction novel published in 2004 by Tor Books, won a Lambda in the science fiction/fantasy/horror category. His latest two novels are The Last Green Tree, published by Tor Books of New York in 2006, and Forgiveness, published by the University of Texas Press as part of the inaugural James. A. Michener Fiction Series. His new story collection, Jesus Is Sending You This Message, was published in September 2008 by Alyson Books.

Jim received the Lila Wallace/Reader's Digest Writers Award for his body of work in 1997, and has twice been a finalist for the Rome Prize Fellowship in Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters (2003-2004). In 2005 he won an Academy Award in Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters.

He served as playwright in residence at About Face Theatre in Chicago under a National Theatre Artist Residency Program grant from Theate Communications Group/Pew Charitable Trust (1999-2004); he has been playwright in residence at 7Stages Theatre in Atlanta since 1986. In 1987 he received the George Oppenheimer/Newsday Award for Best New American Playwright for Mr. Universe. His collection of plays, Mr. Universe and Other Plays,was published by Algonquin Books in 1998, and was a Lambda finalist for drama.

His books have been translated into German, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, Hebrew, and Japanese.(less)

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Quotes from Comfort & Joy

“Words created the future, exacerbated problems, raised barriers between them. But in the silence of Ford's sleep, Ford could love Dan easily; in the stillness of Ford's rest, Dan could adore him without question or fear.” — 2 people liked it

“Why do men stay together? It is easy to understand why they fuck, but why do they stay together, what is the answer? Why do they live in the same house, share meals together, argue about money and parents, why do they have pets, plant begonias, bring home birthday cakes? Where are the children, where is the sense of permanence, what is the tie that binds?

Yet they slept peacefully, side by side, and the body of one became adjusted to the rhythm of the other, and the breathing of one slowed the breathing of the other, and they dreamed in tandem and shared fragments of each other's dreams, and they grew more like each other day by day, not in personality, but in the fissures of the brain, because, seeing the same things every day, day after day, they laid down crevices in themselves that were the same shape, that were the same events written into memory, and this was enough, without words, to keep them silent about the fact of their hates and their fears, their deep concerns about each other, and the certainty that one of them would die first and neither of them knew which one it would be. The certainty that one of them would leave first, and that only by waiting could they learn which of the two.” — 1 person liked it

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