I Was Told There'd Be Cake

by Sloane Crosley

book data

4,951 ratings, 3.37 average rating, 1,487 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		13%
4		33%
3		35%
2		14%
1		4%

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published

April 1st 2008 by Riverhead Trade

binding

Paperback, 240 pages

isbn

159448306X (isbn13: 9781594483066)

description

Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory. F...more

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10/10/08

Randomanthony rated it:

Read in October, 2008

HOW TO WRITE A MEMOIR/PERSONAL COLLECTION OF ESSAYS LIKE SEDARIS, BURROUGHS, VOWELL, KLOSTERMAN, AND NOW SLOANE CROSBY:

So you want to be a successful memoirist/personal essayist? Follow these ten steps and wait for the book deals to roll into your mailbox!

1. Write about your upbringing in ways that make it sound charming in its quirkiness (e.g. the Vowell/Klosterman strategy), charming in its weirdness (the Sedaris strategy) or terrifying (the Burroughs strategy). Under...more

Like this review? yes (40 people liked it)

14 comments

04/09/08

kira rated it:

Read in April, 2008

<Sigh.> What can I say?

I never intended to read this book. I probably never would have, had I not received it in a publicity mailing at work. The day it arrived, I was between books and just wanted something to read on the subway. So I did. And then I kept reading.

I tend to not like to read books by "successful" people around my age. If the books suck, I'm angry for wasting my time. Worse, if they're actually good, I'm angry that this person, who might as ...more <Sigh.> What can I say?

I never intended to read this book. I probably never would have, had I not received it in a publicity mailing at work. The day it arrived, I was between books and just wanted something to read on the subway. So I did. And then I kept reading.

I tend to not like to read books by "successful" people around my age. If the books suck, I'm angry for wasting my time. Worse, if they're actually good, I'm angry that this person, who might as well be me, actually had the motivation and energy to write enough material for a book, get a book deal, and as a result be critically praised and read by thousands. The nerve! It completely invalidates my excuses of being too busy, too lazy, too scared, etc.

Anyway, Crosley's writing is not the most elegant I've ever read, but it's far, far from the worst(see my review of Smashed by Koren Zailckas). In the end, all that really needs to be said is yes, this book had me laughing out loud several times. And yes, I finished it in two days.

I wanted to hate this book and this author. But how can I hate someone who is so much like me? I am Sloane Crosley's ideal audience. We are about the same age and have similar backgrounds. I too moved to "the city" after college to work in book publishing. I get what she's saying. I empathize. There are SO MANY young women exactly like Sloan, and me, in NYC. (Don't believe me? Hang out in the lobby of a publishing company building for ten minutes or sign up for one volunteer project through any city organization.) I try not to think about it, because it makes me feel entirely unoriginal. It's almost enough to make me want to pack up my things and move to rural Montana. But really, what would that solve? I digress.

The line that really sold me is at the very end of the very last essay. She writes, "I was just like everyone else I knew: almost positive that there was something profoundly and undiagnosably wrong with me." Maybe she just threw that in for dramatic effect, or maybe she really means it. Either way, I bought it. And that's ME too, as well as just about every single one of my friends.

So, in conclusion, make me laugh, through in a few little nuggets of truth like the above, and I won't regret the time I spent reading your book. And really, that says a lot these days.(less)

Like this review? yes (23 people liked it)

3 comments

07/16/08

Jen rated it:

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in July, 2008

I started writing a review 1/2 way through the book because I had a lot to say about Ms. Crossley. I'm posting the 1/2 way point review because I just couldn't finish the book.
*****

I’m more then 1/2 way through “I Was Told There’d Be Cake”, a book of essays by Sloane Crosley. I started it Sunday, by this morning’s bus ride I’ve plowed through this book relatively easily. She’s a good writer. She manages to keep my ever wandering attention as I over stimulate m...more

Like this review? yes (21 people liked it)

4 comments

04/20/08

christa rated it:

Read in April, 2008

this book isn't bad, but it isn't good either. it just is. most of the essays are about as quirky as your mom after two glasses of wine, putting her hand over her mouth and gasping about the 'sh-' word. sloane crosley is scared she will suffer an untimely death and whoever cleans out her apartment will find her stash of toy ponies. ... this is not really the stuff of shocking hilarity.

it's almost quaint in its lack of risk-taking. sloane crosley comes across as a sweet, self-depreci...more

Like this review? yes (17 people liked it)

1 comment

07/08/08

Sean rated it:

First, I have to be fair-I only read about 3/4 of this book because it was all I could stand. Maybe the last 1/4 was amazing.

I found it rambling, uninspired, boring and not very funny. It sounded like the stories you tell your friends-your friends think the stories are funny because they know you. Maybe they even tell you that you're really funny and you should write all these stories down and publish them because you are so funny and your stories are so unique. But you know bett...more

Like this review? yes (11 people liked it)

1 comment

05/20/08

AG rated it:

bookshelves: read-2008

Read in May, 2008

Sloane Crosley is similar to me and my friends in education, background, life experience, career trajectory, and the like. The big difference is she has a book deal, and we do not. As such, I tried to read this with an open mind and not hate her off the bat.

Turned out that was all an unnecessary gesture on my part, as even someone completely remote from her experience would realize she is one of the most talentless hacks to come along in ages. This book was unbearable! These "e...more

Like this review? yes (10 people liked it)

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04/15/08

Michele rated it:

Read in April, 2008

recommends it for: 20-somethings

Essays for Twenty-Somethings
Always on the lookout for a new, fresh voice, and one touted as a "mercurial wit" on a par with David Sedaris and Dorothy Parker, had to be good, right? Well . . . I'm sorry to report these front and back cover comparisons are just good copywriting. I'm not saying this author isn't talented. She is. She's funny, smart, quirky, writes well, and has a few 20-something stories to relate to, perhaps, essay-readers of her generation and fellow Manhattan-ite...more

Like this review? yes (9 people liked it)

3 comments

07/03/08

Candi rated it:

To be fair I didn't read this entire book, but I did read an essay first published on Slate (or Salon?) in which Sloane recounts her ambivalent experience with what seems like a hard-won one night stand.

As a seasoned slut myself, I thought the essay was offensive. Typical ivy-educated, upper-middle class girl wants to experience promiscuity lite by indulging in one--just one!--meaningless, ephemeral sexual experience. Being a young and liberal woman, she feels entitled to tap into ...more

Like this review? yes (9 people liked it)

1 comment

01/17/09

R. rated it:

bookshelves: 2009

Read in January, 2009

I found that each essay had, hovering in the background, an exquisite sadness. An aching. To belong, to have belonged. A desire to not fuck up despite a penchant for fucking up.

This book may be, on the surface, a collection of humorous essays; but a ghost, called Lost Opportunities, hovers beneath that glassy surface, knocking.

Longing to breathe.

Longing to breathe the air of a wider, gentler world and to drop the burden of the "Lost".

...more

Like this review? yes (9 people liked it)

6 comments

06/30/08

Felicity rated it:

Read in July, 2008

recommends it for: No one (not even my worst enemy!)

This book is so awful, so awful I couldn't bring myself to finish it. Maybe I just missed the punch lines (I think these essays were meant to be humorous), but my overwhelming response to these essays was "So what?" Apparently, they are based upon Ms. Crosley's life--I hate to break it to her, but I just don't think her life has been that interesting. The final affront was an apparent joke in her less-than-humorous essay about a possible move to Australia (thank goodness for us Aust...more

Like this review? yes (5 people liked it)

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04/21/08

Katie rated it:

Read in May, 2008

This was our May 2008 book club read...can't say I was thrilled with it. The point was often missing from many of the essays, and while I laughed and happily flipped through the pages, the content seemed better suited for a blog than a book, for the most part. Crosley has a good voice, but I just didn't see the magic that other essayists - like the ubiquitous but amazing David Sedaris - bring to their books. You won't be bored reading this, but it's more like you're listening to your friend tell...more

Like this review? yes (5 people liked it)

1 comment

04/30/08

Ryan rated it:

bookshelves: essays, memoirs, new-york

Read in May, 2008

The jacket of this book simultaneously sold and ruined the book for me. I bought it based on the blurb on the cover (from Jonathan Lethem no less!) comparing her to David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell, and the back where another author calls her the twenty-first century Dorothy Parker. I was intrigued. The power of the blurb: I probably wouldn't have even picked up the book in the store without them, but those are some pretty big shoes to fill, and I think my expectations were a little high.
...more

Like this review? yes (4 people liked it)

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06/02/08

George rated it:

bookshelves: memoirs

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in June, 2008

If someone wants to read this book, I am willing to swap.

Sloane Crosley writes essays about herself. She has a smooth, polished writing style. Her titles are great – standouts include “The Pony Problem,” “Bring-Your-Machete-to-Work-Day” and of course “I Was Told There’d Be Cake.” Some of her essays are funny and insightful. I particularly liked “The Ursula Cookie” and “Sign Language for Infidels.”

Memoir writing is popular now, but there are pitfal...more

Like this review? yes (4 people liked it)

5 comments

05/31/08

Aaron rated it:

Read in May, 2008

recommended to Aaron by: salon.com
recommends it for: Those wanting to learn to become more effectively self-referential

It's hard not to blame David Sedaris for Sloane Crosley. I mean to use "blame" lightly - I don't think Sloane Crosley is a thing anyone should necessary be sorry for, but by popularizing the whole "my family is weird in a way that is eccentric but essentially without serious conflict" genre of self-data mining, he's opened the door for people like Crosley to tell very similar stories about their OWN harmless strangeness.

I suppose this is essentially livejournal l...more

Like this review? yes (3 people liked it)

1 comment

05/13/08

Whitney rated it:

Read in May, 2008

The nice thing about a collection of essays is that you can read one, put the book down, and come back to it later, and not really have to remember what you read before.

Even if I hadn't been stuck on a plane for 6 hours, I probably would have read most of Sloan Crosley's essays in one sitting. They're funny and a little sad, and easy to relate to. I couldn't put the book down, and frankly, I didn't want to.

Thanks Sloan Crosley, for making my six hour flight to Boston (...more

Like this review? yes (3 people liked it)

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08/17/08

Penny rated it:

Read in February, 2009

A quick, fun read -- essays of a 20-something living in New York. As I spent half my 20s in New York, it took me back. Sloane Crosley has a nice wit and turn of phrase, and can pull you in from the first sentence of her various essays. Here is how three essays started:
"As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day."
"In 1978, my mother painted an abstract picture of herself holdin...more

Like this review? yes (2 people liked it)

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07/08/08

Christina rated it:

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in July, 2008

recommends it for: social anthropologists in the year 2200

I learned nothing from this book. Except, had I thought to compile my blog posts and everyday suburban thoughts into a book of essays, I could have been published by age 30.

Sloane would be the spokeswoman of my generation if she had anything moderately interesting to say about us. However, after reading her book about our shared lives of relative privilege I feel as though I was raised in Wonder Bread world with not so much as a dash of Arby's sauce. I have no idea why any of the...more

Like this review? yes (3 people liked it)

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06/26/08

Jaclyn Hamlin rated it:

Read in September, 2008

It's true that to enjoy "I Was Told There'd Be Cake," you have to be in Sloane Crosley's target audience, and it's true that her target audience is a fairly small group. Sloane writes for people just like herself... young professionals with a suburbanite upbringing, trying to make it in [insert industry here] in [insert big city here].

Sloane is a young publishing professional trying to make it in New York City.

Replace "publishing professional" with "...more It's true that to enjoy "I Was Told There'd Be Cake," you have to be in Sloane Crosley's target audience, and it's true that her target audience is a fairly small group. Sloane writes for people just like herself... young professionals with a suburbanite upbringing, trying to make it in [insert industry here] in [insert big city here].

Sloane is a young publishing professional trying to make it in New York City.

Replace "publishing professional" with "lawyer" and replace "New York City" with "Washington, DC" and you've got me. I know Sloane Crosley's experiences because I basically lived them. The freakishly compelling summer camp with platform tents, decorated dining halls and promise-to-be-friends-forever-then-forget-about-you-on-September-1st camp friends? Check. Suburban middle school dances in clashing patterns? Check. A My Little Pony collection? Sadly, check, although fortunately I didn't move mine with me to DC and they don't all represent failed relationships. Oh, and Oregon Trail? Check. Oh, my goodness, check. So, yes, I found Sloane to be absolutely hysterical. Mainly because I basically AM Sloane.

"You On A Stick," her diatribe about being maid of honor in the wedding of her best friend from seventh grade, who she'd barely spoken to in a decade... well, I haven't directly had that experience, but I know others who have, so that one rang very true, and it was hi-larious. "Please. Le chapeau you have to make me, please."

"Christmas in July," her story about her bizarre summer camp... I loved it because I went to a camp just like it. Mine was even steeped in Native American lore, too. Unique? Nope, it was the nineties.

"The Ursula Cookie" was sidesplitting in its march toward office humiliation and doom. "The Pony Problem" made me laugh so hard that I had to interrupt my husband's football watching to read him the end.

And my absolute favorite of Sloane's witty creations - "Bring-Your-Machete-To-Work-Day," about the wonderful, brilliant Oregon Trail game. If you haven't played Oregon Trail, you won't get it. If you have, you'll read this story as I did: with tears streaming down your face. I tried to force my poor hubby to listen to me read this one on an Amtrak train. Unfortunately, I couldn't choke out the words to the story because I was laughing too hard. And then my glasses fogged up from laughing until I cried, and I had to put the book away. My hubs laughed, but more from seeing me so tickled than from the actual story.

And that's the real point of this review. If you're Sloane, or me, or one of the countless other young twentysomething women who were raised in the suburbs and now live, work, and try to find the humor in a major urban center, you'll get the ultimate kick out of these essays. If you're not a member of that fairly large but admittedly narrow demographic... stick to Sedaris.(less)

Like this review? yes (2 people liked it)

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04/09/08

Katherine rated it:

Read in April, 2008

I really liked this book. More than I expected and more than is justified by the quality of the writing or the stories. The bottom line is that this is a book about twenty-something girls who grew up in the suburbs and live in New York - and I like that (much as I like myself). It also probably marks the first time I've read a book that described someone's childhood and realized, by the shock of recognition, that it occurred during the same time as my own (Crosley is five years older than me)...more

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04/03/08

Julie rated it:

Read in June, 2008

recommended to Julie by: Amazon

I was attracted by the title, since the presence of cake is a major motivational force in my life. Unfortunately, the book didn’t come with cake, and it was poorer for it. While I admired some of the sharp prose, I felt that I was reading a weird cross of The Devil Wears Prada (and all the other young-woman-just-out-of-college-finding-her-way-in-NYC novels) and David Sedaris: memoir-type essays written by a woman in her late 20’s in NYC who works menial jobs in publishing. She covers the...more

Like this review? yes (2 people liked it)

3 comments

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"When I was 14, a camp counselor explained what "eating out" was and I vowed to never have it done to me. It seemed cannibalistic and unhygienic. I also remember that she claimed--in front of an entire cabin of girls--to have been "eaten out" by one of the maintenance men in a hot tub. Under hot water. Either something is amiss in my memory of this conversation or she found the most talented man on the planet and all hope is lost for the rest of us." More quotes...