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Since You Asked

4.14  ·  Rating Details ·  66 Ratings  ·  17 Reviews
Composed of his 96 most memorable columns, this outstanding collection is a dramatic testament to the quality of writing and thought of's Cary Tennis. For more than 6 years, Tennis has earned a name for himself as an advice-columnist extraordinaire, addressing issues like sexual rejection, marriage, and suicide with sensitivity and style. Long-term fans will be d ...more
Paperback, 390 pages
Published November 15th 2007 by Cary Tennis Books (first published November 1st 2007)
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Tiffany Cain
Jan 16, 2008 Tiffany Cain rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-lately
Is there anything better than reading about other peoples' problems? Especially when they are kind of weird problems? No. No, there is not.
Jul 19, 2008 Ashley rated it really liked it
I am a Cary Tennis junky. My husband bought me this compilation for our first anniversary. I'm sure it isn't everybody's idea of the perfect present; nevertheless, I love it.

I don't know that I can articulate exactly why I love this collection so. It's due, in part, to the zany nature of the advice sought. After all, who can resist headlines like: "I found my dad's gay porn" and "The sound of people eating drives me insane?" Mostly, though, I return to the column each morning because of Tennis'
Apr 21, 2009 laura marked it as to-read
"The word that comes to mind upon meeting [Cary Tennis:], or upon reading one of his sometimes sprawling columns, is free. He doesn't make small talk, or even really medium-sized. He'll get a wild look in his eyes and lick his teeth. Sometimes he closes his eyes while talking, and leaves them closed. He is generally from another planet. Once I watched him hug a plush toy when he thought no one was watching. He has poodles and a hat collection. " -chris colin for SFgate

i love cary tennis. i reall
Feb 16, 2009 Philip rated it it was amazing
This is a great book for picking up and wandering through. Guess I should be checking out his column for free at but it's nice to have a whole collection of his Advice Columns right here in your hands. Each Q&A situation is like a short story . . . He takes incredible intuitive leaps and risks to address people's existential and relationship problems, often with amazing insight and a willingness to expose his own human vulnerability and frailties. Loved it!
Roger Scime
Apr 20, 2011 Roger Scime rated it it was amazing
Cary Tennis has been penning the Since You Asked column for, since 1991, offering sagely advice on such topics as:

Help! I’m falling for a fat man — Weighing in, in Washington
My wife quit shaving her legs and it turns me off — Worried in South Carolina
I’m a gifted high achiever who wants to be a flight attendant —Undecided
At what point can I just give up on my son? — Giving Up on the Kid
Should I stick with my girlfriend through here cancer? — Confused in Colorado
If my wife dressed bette
Jan 03, 2009 dirt rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: People who loves indexes
Giving a book 5 stars feels good, especially after a slump of 2 star books. This book really is amazing. Mr. Tennis really is creating art in the form of an advice column. I've been an occasional reader of the Since You Asked column on I was delighted to see the "Right-wing Reading in the Corporate John" entry because it is my all-time favorite.

My other recommended entries are:

- We Left Paradise for the Suburbs
- I'm a Gifted High Achiever Who Wants to be a Flight Attendant
- American B
Timothy Finnegan
Oct 25, 2010 Timothy Finnegan rated it really liked it
Cary Tennis converts the vinegar of the typical advice columnist into the wine of self-fufillment. He write regularly for He's someone I would like to know. I was tickled that he wrote his own return address in pen when sending me his book. The letters to him are usually banal affairs, rife with narcissistic self-interest. His responses go to the heart of what most of us sense but cannot articulate when we love and hunger for passion in our lives. Thank you Cary.
Apr 08, 2013 Robin rated it it was amazing
Advice columns are a strange concept in a cynical world. Cary's advice usually comes down to believing in & being kind to oneself, considering how one's actions affect others, and being brave enough to live a true life, whatever that encompasses for the individual reader. I read this in small doses, and he makes me laugh and feel just a little bit more hopeful than I did a few minutes before. Good advice, I think.
Feb 28, 2010 Monica rated it really liked it
I sometimes read Cary Tennis' column in Salon, although I'm not the biggest fan. Saw this at the library, though, and picked it up. I did mainly skim it, and only read what appealed to me. But I really enjoyed what I read. There are some real pearls of wisdom in here. I did think, hmmm, I'd like to have this on my shelf.
Aug 25, 2010 Richard rated it really liked it
In the introduction of the book, Tennis says that he has "found the advice column to be an almost perfect literary form." He proves it with this collection of his "agony aunt" handiwork. No Ann Landers, Cary Tennis is able to tackle the tough issues with a thoroughly modern and nonjudgemental wit.
Feb 26, 2009 Michael rated it liked it
I wanted to rate this three-and-a-half stars, for the record.

Cary Tennis writes the most eloquent responses to the questions he's asked. Some questions are profound while others are just bizarre; this book contains his picks of the best. Read and live vicariously through others.
Jonathan Tennis
Dec 03, 2015 Jonathan Tennis rated it it was amazing
It was a sad day when Cary's advice column went away. But the good news is that this collection gives you an opportunity to read (re-read) some of the best letters and responses of the column.
Bryan Scott
Aug 06, 2016 Bryan Scott rated it really liked it
Very great practical advice and easy to read. Great for trips. Letters are short and answers are concise.
Nov 21, 2008 Kim rated it it was amazing
I haven't read the book (I bought it for a friend and skimmed through it) but I'm a big fan of Cary's and I love his column.
Cate White
Cate White rated it it was amazing
Oct 23, 2012
Dolly Dimple
Dolly Dimple rated it it was amazing
Jun 04, 2010
T.J. Jarrett
T.J. Jarrett rated it it was amazing
Nov 04, 2014
Kukusan rated it it was amazing
Dec 17, 2014
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Charlie Hundley rated it liked it
Nov 08, 2009
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Sep 11, 2010
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Nov 21, 2008
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Jun 12, 2009
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Jan 11, 2014
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Apr 04, 2011
Corinne rated it it was amazing
Mar 20, 2011
Lindsay rated it it was amazing
Jan 01, 2011
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Nathan Hirstein
Nathan Hirstein rated it really liked it
Mar 29, 2009
May 26, 2016 Sara rated it liked it
Shelves: advice-columns
I loved reading Cary Tennis on back in the day. He's even more readable in book format.
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