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3.87 of 5 stars 3.87  ·  rating details  ·  721 ratings  ·  84 reviews
Publisher's SummaryWhen she was 14, Jasvinder Sanghera was shown a photo of the man chosen to be her husband. She was terrified. She'd witnessed the torment her sisters endured in their arranged marriages, so she ran away from home and was grief-stricken when her parents disowned her.

Shame is the heart-rending true story of a young girl's attempt to escape from a cruel, cl
Paperback, 289 pages
Published December 1st 2007 by Hodder & Stoughton (first published 2007)
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Having read her earlier work i was drawn to this book to follow Jasvinder's life story. I feel her writing style is far superior in this work. Several points come to my attention. The whole issue of forced marriages and honour killings have been given much publicity in UK. Despite this, many British Asians hold on to v conservative views, right into the 2nd generation, eg Sunny, the writer's nephew with his chauvanist attitude towards women. It is also very sad to see that members of that Sikh c ...more
"Não te atrevas a desgraçar esta família. Se quiseres chora ao fundo do jardim, mas não tragas os teus problemas para aqui." É isto que a mãe de uma jovem indiana lhe diz quando esta confessa que é violada pelo irmão e pelo tio, depois de lhe dar um estalo na cara.

Este livro fala da vida de muitas mulheres asiáticas, onde os casamentos forçados e a violência conjugal são o pão nosso de cada dia. As jovens são forçadas a casar-se com homens que nunca viram, homens estes que mais tarde se revelam
Mar 03, 2010 Jeannie rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone interested in foreign women issues
Recommended to Jeannie by: Sabrina ~Thank you So Much!!
Shelves: i-own
This is absolutely one of the best books I have read in a very long time. I didn't know this happened in England of all places so I was very shocked to find it out. It is almost beyond my comprehension that mothers and fathers, whole families and towns would treat women in this manner. What a horrible horrible shame it is! I have read a lot on this subject but never knew it went on outside of those countries. What in the world will it take for them to realize how wrong it is to treat someone you ...more
Very thought provoking read about how the author escaped from her family who were going to force her into marriage. After hearing her speak about her life and experiences, I just felt I had to read it. She set up a charity Karma Nirvana to help Asian women to escape from their families and honour crimes. With her help forced marriage is now a criminal offence in this country. A must read book for all women and those in authority.
This topic really interests me, most recently because I met a friend of mine at work who is Indian. She was born in England but lives in California now. She told me a lot about her culture and the things her family expects of her. It was all new information to me, and I wanted to read more about it. We had to order this book online because we had a hard time finding it here, as it was published in England. We both read it in just a few days.

I loved it. Jasvinder's story is so unbelievable to me,
♥ Marlene♥
Lots to say about this book but not finding words to formulate.

First of all it pissed me off, the way her parents thought they were better than The English people, they considered white, low class (there words , not mine) but the whites were good enough to let them live there and care for them and this is what is wrong with Europe nowadays.
Then they stick with there own, do not mix with white people, don't learn English and let there daughters marry people from their former country so the husba
✟Sabrina Rutter✟
After reading Shame, Jasvinder's first memoir about her life, and then reading Daughter's of Shame where she tells about some of the women, and men she has helped in her service Karma Nirvana I was really excited to read an update about her life now in Shame Travels.

After being disowned by her family for twenty nine years Jasvinder is finally at a place where she feels comfortable enough to travel to India for the first time in her life. She's nervous, and scared because her father told her when
I wanted to sympathise and feel sorry for the author.. but all I felt was that she chose her own outcome. Left her parents to marry a man she didnt love, then left him for an affair that turned violent... Bad decisions... but I think they were fuelled by the rebellion against her parents. She never wanted to do what they asked.. always the opposite. I am also not saying that her parents were perfect.. far from it actually. But they didnt know the world or the alternative customs.

But I am glad th
Andreea Tanase
The book would have been no remarkable literary achievement in itself, had it not been a truthful and representative depiction of a shocking reality most of us are not even aware of.
If you forgive the author her sometimes clumsy style and focus on the story, you get an insight into the Indian community in the UK and especially the perpetual drama of young girls whose families put cast, pride and the family 'good name' before their daughters' hapiness or even lieves.
This is a must read and an ey
I finished reading this book without sleeping whole night and a day.Interesting.I salute her struggle.
But I have to say her 'why didn't you love Jassey even he has played a great role to be 'you'?'
#In a paragraph she writes "My mom and dad at least will approved off - a jatt." I understood this mean the proud of her at last she got married one of the high cast family.has she narrow mind on cast system. If am i wrong plz don't hesitate to make me right.
I appreciate the way of her writing style th
Manpreet Kaur
This book is absolutely mind-blowing. I was able to imagine the scenes as I was reading it. It shows you a different side of other cultures tahts you are not familiar with. I cried so much throughout the book, especially at the point where her mother's in the hosptal and she says "Tu ai gayi!!" at this point I could picture this mother and daughter scene and cried my eyes out. Jasvinder you are the strongest person I have known about in my life, you are truly inspirational.

I wouldn't say that I
I was not overly impressed with this book. certainly it shed some light on the patriarchial culture and the culture of shame that frequently happens in South Asian communities, but while reading this, I couldn't help but feel as if a lot of the circumstances in her life, she brought on herself. She ran away to escape an arranged marriage and landed with a man that she didn't love. she wound up pregnant and married him anyway, then had an affair with an abusive man, then left her husband and went ...more
Christine Bernadette
A true story about the horrors experienced by some women. And I really can't believe this is true to life. I mean, when you read this, you'll realize you're still lucky you're not one of the girls forced to be married at an early age to an older man. Or, abused by your own relatives.

Luckily there's Karma Nirvana now - the foundation founded by Jasvinder Sanghera herself to help the abused women.
Tim Way
You’ll read this book in one or two sittings and you will cry. This is a true story of Jasvinder’s life and the lives of other young women who would often rather commit suicide than shame their family.

Jas was born and raised in Derby to high-caste Sikh parents who had emigrated from the Punjab. She saw each of her older sisters be casually shown a photo of the similar caste man from the Punjab that they would marry. When she was fifteen, she was shown her photo; she did not want to marry the man
Bailey Basak Bayraktar
Just finished the book, was easy to read, uncomfortable truths about very solid cultures. Hard to put yourself in their shoes, as an outsider i am finding it really difficult to understand why and what for. Strongly recommended for those having indian friends, to see how hard their life is or else could have been. For people suffering from any honour based abuses, this book could be the wake-up call.
✟Sabrina Rutter✟
Jasvinder saw it all to much in her everyday life, abuse, murder in the name of honour, and families turning their backs on one another just to save face. When she ran away around the age of 15 it became personal.
This is the story of how one Asian woman cut her ties with abusive tradition and became a voice for those afraid to use their own.
Ayuni Anis
This book definitely opens up the reality of honour killings and Forced Marriage Unit. It was interesting that the writer provided detailed explanation of the reality in India, at her village, Kang Shabu and as well as the condition of living there.

Rated this book 2 star because I would have very much wanted to know what exactly happened during her daughter's wedding, whether her sister, Bachanu turned up for her wedding and helped her with the preparations. I also felt that too much reiteration
Coming from a different cultural background it's hard to understand that family honour would matter more than the love of your children. It's a heartbreaking to think that this is allowed to happen in todays society, but unfortunately it does. You hear about these things in the news more and more often.

She is an inspiration for women all over the world that dispite your background you can triumph over adversity. Co-founder of Karma Nirvana which is a community based project that supports South
Very moving.
I'm not Indian, Sikh or from the UK, but many aspects of Jasvinder's relationship with her mother resonated with me, as did the 'frozen values' to some extent.
The self-imposed 'shame' that families adopt and the way that certain cultural contexts also react to that 'shame' is almost cannibalistic - why would people CHOOSE to treat their own that way? Why buy into it? The age old question. Also, in part of my own cultural context, the shame does not extend back to that country of ori
Zabetta Camilleri
Show that you don't need to be perfect to do amazing stuff.

An ode to all those women who continue to fight against all odds for what is right
Nishalini Rajasekar
Absolutely brilliant and inspiring! This book is a non-fiction about Jasvinder, one of the top 100 inspirational women in the world and a co-founder of Karma Nirvana, a national project that supports both men and women affected by honour-based crimes and forced marriages. I was quite shocked that honour-based crimes still exist in a developed country like UK and never knew that a helpline existed before reading this book.

To add on, I really liked the fact that the author illustrated about Sikhis
Claudia Monteiro
Mais um livro, que nos retrata a discriminação com que as mulheres são tratadas, só pelo facto de serem mulheres.
A autora deste livro conta-nos como foi banida da sua família pelo simples facto de não aceitar um casamento arranjado pelos pais. Jasvinder oriunda de uma familia sikh que imigrara para Inglaterra, queria realizar coisas, tais como se licenciar, mas para a comunidade tais opções não eram vistas com bons olhos.
Começava então a luta de Jasvinder, para sobreviver sem os pais. Apesar de
Nelson Lourenço
Nome do Livro em Português : "Banida"


"Do seu ponto de vista, eu conspurcara o nome da familía ao fugir com um chamar. A minha mãe sempre me dissera que os chamars são a casta mais baixa, as pessoas que recolhem estrume nos campos; algumas pessoas chamam-lhes intocáveis. Eu pertenço a uma família de jatts - na Índia, os jatts são proprietários de terras, e não importa que o único pedaço de terra de que o meu pai é dono, em Derby, seja o pequeno relvado atrás da nossa casa, porque ser de um
Shame Travels is the 3rd book by Jasvinder Sanghera, a sequel to her first two books, Shame and Daughters of Shame. Jasvinder Sanghera is an activist and advocate for women's rights who was born in Derby. She is the co-founder of Karma Nirvana, a community-based project where several refuge centres across the United Kingdom serve as safe-housing for South Asian women fleeing forced marriages. This book details her journey to India, to the village in rural Punjab where her father was born, and to ...more
Um relato sincero e cru sobre a forma como pensam e vivem os hindus por esse mundo fora. Reparar que existem tantas semelhanças na forma como as mulheres são tratadas e consideradas tanto para os islâmicos quanto para os hindus, foi algo que me deixou ainda mais triste em relação ao que vai por esse mundo fora.

Não sou religiosa, mas considero que uma religião que trata e vê as mulheres como meras moedas de troca em combinações familiares, e que incute nas crianças, desde pequenas, que os problem
Nazia Ahmed
True story, it describes some harsh realities about Jasvinder's past life.
A review I read by a reader below:
By Heer Kaur (22 Mar 2007)
"I felt she generalised far too much about the asian society, her family life and upbringing are so alien to me. I am a british asian also, who's parents originate from India. I feel she just asumed all asians live like she did, BUT WE DONT. I felt she, yet again, like many others put us in a stereotype.
Not all asian girls are forced in to arrange marriages with
Saud Anis
shame was inspirational heartwarming and yet quite overwhelming,the author gave one side of the picture as the torture and misfortune she went through is undoubtedly not acceptable in any society but the path she took to escape through all of her turmoil can be taken both positively and negatively what was missing in the book was she should have told the readers how to interpret her message what was she really trying to convey through her words i found her message ambiguous and not thorough but ...more
Georgina Ball
This book explores a religion and culture which I was not familiar with. I know other religions/cultures can be strict but until reading this book I was not completely aware of the rules regarding family honour and shame and social views of this culture. This book really opened my eyes. The books starts with Jasvinder's childhood and ends at present day, so it spans a long period of time - and quite quickly. The book is not 'all woe is me' at some points you do not side with Jasvinder but she is ...more
Rajesh Chaudhary
Apr 25, 2013 Rajesh Chaudhary rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Recommend to all bibliophiles and those who are more interested in human right issues.
Recommended to Rajesh by: Nobody. I chose it by myself.
Shelves: already-read
It was not for the first time in her life that she realized that she is also going to be married off by her parents in her puberty-age just like they did to her elder sisters, and she seemed quite apprehended about the impending situation -- one of the dreaded situation she was going to face soon.

This is a story of a young punjabi girl who fights off to live her own life. Having born in London, she thinks that she is different than her older sisters who are servile in their attitude to their re
I started to read this book yesterday; finished it today. I could not help but to follow Jas, I was nosy? interfering? I think I was more haunted by the familiarity of the phenomenon in my community, there was instances in which I could have sworn that she was talking to me.
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Jasvinder Sanghera is an activist and advocate for women's rights who was born in Derby. She is the co-founder of Karma Nirvana, a community-based project where there are a group of refuge centers in the United Kingdom for South Asian women fleeing forced marriages. A victim of a forced marriage herself, she tells her story and those of other British victims in her novel "Shame", published by Hodd ...more
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