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آیا تو آن گمشده ام هستی
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آیا تو آن گمشده ام هستی

3.84 of 5 stars 3.84  ·  rating details  ·  685 ratings  ·  84 reviews
یک کتاب روانشناسی برای شناخت فرد مناسب
Published 2007
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Hamideh Mohammadi
خواندن اين كتاب را به همه توصيه مي‌كنم: مجرد، متاهل، كساني كه در رابطه‌اي هستند، كساني كه يك رابطه شكست خورده را تمام كرده اند، كساني كه قصد ازدواج دارند...
در اين كتاب با الفباي رابطه، عشق، ضعف‌هاي مهلك، بمب‌هاي ساعتي روابط، داستان‌هاي عشقي، مفهموم تفاهم و صدها موارد ديگر آشنا مي شويم. نوسينده براي هر موضوع مثال‌هايي از دنياي واقعي و زندگي خودش ذكر كرده تا فهم آن‌را ساده تر كند. و براي تحليل رابطه يا وضعيت خواننده امتحان‌ها و تمرين هاي زيادي طراحي كرده

White
Good God! This was a good book. Talk about self-reflection and discovery. Through a series of custom test, Barbara De Angelis leads the reader into reasons for why we choose to have relationships with who we have them with, why they're gone wrong and how to not do it again in the future. I am going to give a copy to my best friend if she ever starts dating again.

We all seek out old habits but Deangelos teaches us how to break the mold of failure. You pick up a lot of self-esteem along the way an
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Eric Tracy
At the time I read this, which was just after Carol died, it was, to date, the single best, most informative and valuable book I'd ever picked up, and became my "bible" for awhile, or what others such as my wife call a purse book because it warrants carrying eveywhere and re-reading parts until you feel you've gained all you can from it. More than "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex*" when I was 16, more than Callahan's Place when I was 25.

So valuable to me that I recommended it to
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Jamie Wallace
Writing an impersonal, non-biased review for this book is, frankly, impossible if only because I'm personally walking away from this with a new perspective on life, love, and the pursuit of happiness as it were. It's a book that I can claim that I am a better person for reading it.

What Dr. DeAngelis set out to do with this book is to point out what works, and what doesn't in romantic relationships, and breaks it down to very specific reasons why certain relationships work, and certain relationsh
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Laren
This book is a very simple read, and it blew my mind when I first read it because I had never really looked at relationships like this before. The author has been criticized for allegedly overstepping her formal expertise in her books (for this one she was criticized because she has been divorced before). But I found it to be a lot of just plain common sense structured together in a way that might not have occurred to the reader (and maybe not to the author originally - presumably divorce is an ...more
Angela Cloud
I enjoyed this book tremendously. it was a difficult read because it forces you to really take a look at the decisions you've made in your relationships. If, like me, you've got a bad track record, it can be difficult to look at the reality of the quality of your relationships objectively, and even more difficult once you've looked at them objectively to realize that you've been repeating the same pattern over and over, all designed to fail every time.

I read the book on the recommendation of a F
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ستایش  دشتی
اينطور چيزها را هم خوانده ايم! بلي! :))
Zoe123
This was a gift from a friend after a painful breakup. It really lit a fire for me. I worked through all of the exercises, which I usually skip! Great tips for examining self-defeating behaviors in relationships so you can break your pattern and find someone special.
Mel
Easy read.... Perfect for those who need guidance in choosing the right partner... There are some very useful exercises which I recommend to do as these makes it easier for you to understand and see where and why you act the way you do. Although most of it focuses on relationships, it has an interesting insight on the psychoanalysis of your emotional structure which I found very liberating.... The exercises in there was not only fun to do but also highlighted the behaviour patterns of the relati ...more
J.J. Rodeo
چندان از روانشناسی سر رشته ندارم و امتیازی که به کتاب داده ام، داوری آدمی معمولی است. در فیلم ماتریکس صحنه ای هست که در آن، نئو دستش را در سینه ترینیتی فرو می کنم و گلوله ای را از قلبش بیرون می کشد. باربارا هم در این کتاب چنین کاری با من کرد. دستش را در روحم فرو برد و خیلی چیزهایی را در آورد که عمری زجرم می دادند اما من حتی از وجودشان خبر نداشتم.

یکی از مهمترین درس هایی که گرفتم، این بود که پیش از آغاز هرگونه رابطه عاطفی با دیگران، باید رابطه ای عاطفی با خودمان را آغاز کنیم و پس از دستیابی به ثر
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Juneko
Most pop psychology books are too trite & overly simplistic. This one is an exception. It gets right to the point. I used to use her handy checklists when I taught relationship dynamics as a paraprofessional psychiatric social worker. De Angelis is brutally straight & to the point, which is precisely what's often needed when people find themselves repeatedly drawn to the wrong people in their lives. De Angelis explains how this dynamic gets set into motion & what it is in ourselves t ...more
Penny Blanch
A very funny but useful read in the search for a happy relationship. Writing my own personals ad (one of the exercises) made me wet myself with laughter,until I realised I had been hooking up with the biggest losers in history. Then I just cried,and moved on. Now happily married thanks Babs! I like the 6 values to look for - pretty impossible to find,but at least I found a few of them rather than none at all.
Katherine Wertheim
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Beatrice McClearn
This book helped me tremendously after my divorce. I enjoy how she spoke about adding spirituality to your search criteria!! I can't say enough about how this book helped me get through that difficult time and not rebound as much as I would've had I not read it.
Dana
Jan 04, 2008 Dana rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: EVERYONE
Recommended to Dana by: a relationship counselor
Good for male and female. It helps you dig to the core of your decisions, reveals so much about yourself and your choices for a mate.
DO NOT PASS THIS ONE UP, YOU WILL THANK ME!!
Moira
Sure wish I'd had this book in my 20's. Just tons of good ideas, advice, exercises - anyone who plans to partner with another should read it - it will save time & energy.
Benjamin Yahyaei
For someone like me who reads a lot of philosophy and science books,I just criticize as I never did about any other books. Old fashioned and only fits sixties-seventies.
pd
Nov 21, 2014 pd rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to pd by: Gape
‮تقریبا تا هفتاد صفحه اول خجالت می‌کشیدم که کتابی با چنین عنوانی دستم گرفتم! جلوتر که رفتم حس کردم چیزهایی برام داره که مستحق ستاره‌های بیشتر و بیشتریه! (بهرحال وقتی تو این سایت عضوم، سخته که در طول کتاب به امتیاز دادن بهش فکر نکنم). به اواخرش که نزدیک شدم دیگه راضی شدم اون سقف چهارستاره‌ای ایده‌آلیسم‌زده‌م رو بهش بدم. اما نهایتا هیچ دلیلی ندیدم که اون یک ستاره رو ازش کم کنم؛ حتی اشارات انگشت‌شمارش به «مقدس» و «خدا» و ... که مدت‌هاست نسبت بهشون آلرژی دارم.

‮از لحاظ محتوا هم، از تعدد عوامل و زوایا
...more
David
Nov 09, 2013 David marked it as no  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: by-women, fraud
The author's claimed Ph.D. is from an unaccredited diploma mill.
Christopher Roberts
So far it's a great book! I am still reading it!
Nlp
Best self help ever, funny and inspiring :D
Noor Al-talib
I wish I can rate this book with more than 5 stars!
Such a great book on emotional growth concerning relationships.
If you're in a relationship, just ended one or looking for a partner, this book is definitely recommended for you!
Now looking back at the very first pages of the book, I realized how much it has changed my perception and hopefully will make me more able to make right decisions in any upcoming relationship..
The New York Times #1 Bestseller was written beautifully in 3 chapters; Unde
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Sylvie
This book is a must-read for every woman who wonders why she gets in relations that don't work. Along with "Women who love too much" and "Men who hate women and the women who love them", it is an extraordinary book to help you understand where your illusions about love come from and what roots emotional dependency. It is a wonderful tool for personal growth for women who don't love themselves enough... and wish to change their behavior and love themselves first and foremost!
Veronica Ellington
Wanted:


Are you always blue & hating the world? Feeling like the world owes you! Then you’re the man for me! I won’t mind that your un-romantic and are disapproving in anything involving the idea of expressing your feelings. I love it when you bring me down with your emotionless ways and obverse consumption of video gaming. No need to go out with me it’s a plus if your anti-social and hate social gatherings. Don’t forget to point out my flaws but never give me a compliment & calling me d
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Jessica
Even though this book was written years ago it gives such a lot of useful advice that's still relevant today. Helpful whether you're single, married or about to get into a serious relationship. Even helpful if you're thinking about exiting one!

maryam
این کتاب در وقتی که به تجربیات دیگران نیاز داشتم ولی کسی رو نداشتم، کمک بسیار خوبی برایم بود. مثل یک مشاور و راهنما برام بود.
دو یا سه بار کامل خوندم، نکاتی رو ازش خلاصه برداری کردم. اگر کتاب برای خودم بود بازهم میخوندمش.
Tara Calaby
You can really tell this was first published in the early nineties, partially due to the terror of AIDS that seems to inform a good number of its arguments.

I love books like this because I'm a sucker for case studies and this one is FULL of case studies. Definitely a good one if you're also a bit of a voyeur when it comes to other people's relationship drama.

That said, if you're interested in a more serious manner, I think it should all be taken with a large grain of salt. The ideas in here are
...more
Mohammad Rezaei Niya
فوق العاده بود... ساختارش خیلی شبیه کتابهای زرد هست، ولی انصافا کتاب پرمغزی بود... بنظرم خوندنش برای همه ابنای بشر (!) لازم و ضروریه
Masumeh
کتابهای بارابارا شاید بیش از آنچه باید عامه پسند جلوه کنند اما این ابدن به این معنی نیست که شما در این کتابها مطالب خوبی پیدا نخواهید کرد.گاهی مسائلی مطرح میشود که می تواند به بسیاری از ابهامات پاسخ دهد مثلن کشش جنسی آنی به افرادی از جنس مخالف با ویژگی های خاص که در اینجا به نام بیوشیمی جنسی مطرح میشود یااشاره به یک سری روابط از پایه غلط مثل رابطه شاگرد-استادی بین دو طرف رابطه.
Asmasharifi
خوب اين كتاب هم در مورد روانشناسي روابطي هست كه مي خواهيم با ازدواج تبديلش كنيم به يه رابطه دائمي و حالتهاي مختلف رو بررسي كرده البته از لحاظ منطقي كاملا درسته و هيج مشكلي نداره اما من فك مي كنم كه اين جور كتابها بايد كمي بومي بشن و با فرهنگ ما ايرانيها هماهنگ بشه اينطوري خيلي كاربردي تر خواهد بود. ولي در كل كتاب خوبي هست ارزش خوندن داره مخصوصا اگه تو يه رابطه باشيد!!
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Barbara De Angelis Ph.D. is one of the most influential teachers of our time in the field of relationships and personal growth. For the past twenty-five years, she has reached tens of millions of people throughout the world with her positive messages about love, happiness and the search for meaning in our lives. As a best-selling author, popular television personality and sought after motivational ...more
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