Love the One You're With

by Emily Giffin

book data

7,133 ratings, 3.44 average rating, 1,517 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		14%
4		33%
3		35%
2		12%
1		2%

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published

May 13th 2008 by St. Martin's Press

binding

Hardcover, 342 pages

isbn

0312348673 (isbn13: 9780312348670)

description

The New York Times bestselling author of Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Baby Proof delivers another captivating novel about women and the cho...more

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793 books | 2454 voters

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other reviews (showing 1-20 of 12,036)

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01/07/08

Sarah rated it:

bookshelves: junk-food

Read in June, 2008

The thing I like about Emily Giffin is that she doesn't talk down to her readers. Nor does she assume that everyone who wants to read a light, fun, chick book gives two hoots about what brand of clothing the heroine wears. Her books aren't cerebral by any means, but they're smart.

This is a story about a happily married woman who runs into the One That Got Away. The encounter brings up a host of memories and feelings and is the catalyst to a series of events that will leave her wonde...more The thing I like about Emily Giffin is that she doesn't talk down to her readers. Nor does she assume that everyone who wants to read a light, fun, chick book gives two hoots about what brand of clothing the heroine wears. Her books aren't cerebral by any means, but they're smart.

This is a story about a happily married woman who runs into the One That Got Away. The encounter brings up a host of memories and feelings and is the catalyst to a series of events that will leave her wondering if the life she's chosen is the life she was meant to have.

I thought the character of Ellen was written very well. So well, in fact, that it makes me wonder if the author has been in this situation or if a close friend of hers has. I particularly thought the fact that Ellen had lost her mother at an early age was handled very well. This aspect of Ellen's life influenced many of her decisions and gave some insight into her psyche. In almost every chapter Ellen (who is also the narrator) mentioned how much she missed her mother, and while some readers might think it was too much, it felt real to me. I've had close friends lose a parent and I know that it is something they think about every single day.

I also thought Giffin perfectly captured the nuances of a new marriage - both its simple joys and its bumps in the road. It occurred to me that unmarried readers might not fully appreciate Ellen's feelings or motivations as marriage is something you can really only understand if you've experienced it.

While the character of Ellen was superbly developed, I thought all of the supporting cast - including the husband, the ex-boyfriend, the sister, and the best friend - were lacking. Although the book is written in the first person from Ellen's perspective, I thought more could be done to make these other characters come to life. This is particularly true of the character of Margot, Ellen's best friend and sister-in-law. I just didn't care about her.

Finally, reading this book made me ache to return to New York! It wasn't about the glamour and superficiality of New York like so many "chick lit" books I've read, but I thought it really captured the essence of what NY truly is: the burroughs, the culture, the pace. The feeling of being at the center of the world.(less)

Like this review? yes (14 people liked it)

9 comments

06/08/08

Jillian rated it:

bookshelves: in-2008

Read in July, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

I was very disappointed by this book. I really liked her other novels and found them to be quick, fun, beach-reads that still conjured up some feelings and life lessons. I felt nothing with this book except anger towards the main character and sort of annoyed at certain scenarios that were so incredibly far fetched that it made me say "Are you kidding me?" out loud. I wasn't rooting for anyone; I wasn't happy at the end of the book, or sad that it was over like I was with Something B...more I was very disappointed by this book. I really liked her other novels and found them to be quick, fun, beach-reads that still conjured up some feelings and life lessons. I felt nothing with this book except anger towards the main character and sort of annoyed at certain scenarios that were so incredibly far fetched that it made me say "Are you kidding me?" out loud. I wasn't rooting for anyone; I wasn't happy at the end of the book, or sad that it was over like I was with Something Blue. I found the story was lacking substance and that with a different spin, it could have been a much better, more believable story.

And what ex-boyfriend waltzes back in to his married ex-girlfriend's life 8 years later and thinks that he's good enough for her to leave her marriage even though they've had zero contact? I had a difficult time understanding or seeing the significance of Leo and Ellie's past relationship in order for it to have the obsession effect on her almost a decade later. I understand she was a mess when they broke up but shouldn't she have dealt with those feelings before she got married? Their interaction was minimal but when they were together, I didn't feel the intensity that she talked about so much. Which was why I felt the cheating part was so disgusting because there was nothing there. And I believe that she started cheating the moment she held hands with him on the plane - right up to the sneaky emails, texts, phone calls, and kiss scene at the end.

Even though in Something Borrowed, cheating is a main element to the story, she wrote it in such a way that you didn't hate Rachel or Dex for doing what she they were doing, instead you understood. You don't have to agree with something to understand it and that's what was lacking for me in this novel. I just felt like the story didn't go anywhere until the end and then everything happened in like a two hour span and that was that. She had all these life-changing moments squished into like three sentences. (less)

Like this review? yes (17 people liked it)

7 comments

08/04/08

J.M. Cornwell rated it:

Has a copy to sell/swap

A modern yuppie romance.

Newlywed Ellen bumps into Leo, her old boyfriend, in the street in New York City on a rainy day. Stunned, she goes to a nearby coffee shop to gather herself. Leo calls her cell phone and asks where she is, showing up a few moments later. They have coffee and she tells him she’s married. He touches her hand and leaves but Leo doesn’t leave Ellen’s thoughts, not even when she’s with her husband, Andy, the man she loves and adores, the man she married.
...more A modern yuppie romance.

Newlywed Ellen bumps into Leo, her old boyfriend, in the street in New York City on a rainy day. Stunned, she goes to a nearby coffee shop to gather herself. Leo calls her cell phone and asks where she is, showing up a few moments later. They have coffee and she tells him she’s married. He touches her hand and leaves but Leo doesn’t leave Ellen’s thoughts, not even when she’s with her husband, Andy, the man she loves and adores, the man she married.

Leo contacts Ellen again with a career-making offer to photograph a celebrity in Los Angeles. Her sister Suzanne goes with her because Suzanne is a fan and ends up acting as chaperone. Leo is writing an article about the celebrity and Ellen is taking the pictures. Ellen leaves feeling as though she has dodged a bullet until Leo shows up on the plane sitting next to her. They talk and fall asleep holding hands, waking the next morning and say goodbye once again, this time on Leo’s doorstep. Ellen doesn’t plan to see him again, but Leo has other plans, and so does Andy.

Andy quit his job at a high-powered law firm in New York and wants to move back to Atlanta to be near his family and partner in his father’s law practice. Ellen reluctantly agrees. She’s rich and her handsome husband loves her, but nothing feels right. She misses the electric excitement of New York City and her career – and she misses Leo. Did she make a mistake marrying Andy, moving to Atlanta, giving up her career . . . not giving Leo another chance?

Not everyone gets the dream – handsome husband, big house, country club, loving family, wealth – but Emily Giffin makes it seem possible in Love the One You’re With. Ellen, Leo and Andy are well ensconced in lucrative careers. The men are handsome and the women are beautiful. Everyone, except for Suzanne, is rich and not all that attainable for the average Joe or Jane. Despite these fantasies, Giffin’s tale of exploring the road not taken has much to commend it.

The emotions resonate clearly and the situation, although a little out of the average woman’s reach, is basic. What do you do when you find out your best friend kept you from reuniting with the man you loved? Even in the rarefied atmosphere of country clubs and jaunts across the country to photograph celebrities and feature articles, it comes down to the basics – relationships – and this is something Giffin portrays with a lack of guile and plenty of heart. Giffin’s prose is clean and uncluttered and the characters eminently authentic. Only one plot point seemed a bit contrived – a phone call at a crucial moment – but the rest of the story is one to which anyone caught between the present and the past can relate.

Love the One You’re With is a story that goes straight to the heart of what it means to love and be loved, and to find a way to live with difficult choices.

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06/06/08

Angeld01 rated it:

Read in June, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

This was another great book by Emily Giffen staying true to her form of regular people making some tough and non-conventional choices. I both disliked, and related to Ellen. I also liked how the scope of this book covered both the modern love story (in that the one we end up with is rarely the 1st one we have loved) and how losing Andy would have meant losing so much more for Ellen.

It's hard to say what I would do if a smoldering love from the past were to appear - but as Ellie even...more

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02/23/08

Karina rated it:

bookshelves: contemporary-fiction-chick-lit, favorites

Read in May, 2008

recommends it for: all lovers of women's fiction or just a good read

I remember when Emily Giffin's first book came out, and since it dealt with cheating, I did not pick it up for the longest time. Then I read a thoroughly positive review of it (I think on chicklitbooks.com, which may no longer be around) and I decided I had to see what the fuss was about.

The reviewer did not do the book justice. It grabbed me from page one and wouldn't let go, even when it was dealing with messy topics such as betraying your best friend.

Since that first b...more

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04/04/08

Jeanne rated it:

bookshelves: chick-lit

Read in May, 2008

recommends it for: fans of chick lit

So, I was totally psyched to read the latest offering from Emily Giffin. I loved, loved, loved her other novels.

But her latest is different. It starts out slowly, almost slow enough to make me quit. And the protagonist, Ellen Graham, isn’t exactly likable. She is a photographer and a newlywed, and she has just run into her ex, Leo. This is where the story gets good!

Running into her ex leads to both physical and emotional reactions in Ellen. Is Leo the love of he...more

Like this review? yes (5 people liked it)

1 comment

05/26/08

Jennifer rated it:

(review of isbn 0752875825)

bookshelves: chick-lit

Read in May, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

Like this review? yes (2 people liked it)

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01/24/08

Danielle rated it:

(review of isbn 0752875825)

bookshelves: for-the-ladies, own

Read in May, 2008

recommends it for: Anyone!

First off, I couldn't put this book down, I started it on Sunday (late morning) and finished it Monday evening.

This is my second favorite Emily Giffin book (behind Something Borrowed). There was a similar dynamic between Ellen and Margot, much like that of Rachel and Darcy in Something Borrowed. While the premise of the book wasn't the same, you get the same test of loyalty since Ellen is married to Margot's older brother Andy. In fact, I would say that the test of loyalty might be s...more

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10/09/08

Christina rated it:

bookshelves: chick-lit

Read in October, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

Like this review? yes (2 people liked it)

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08/20/08

Sara rated it:

bookshelves: 2008, adult-fiction, chick-lit, did-not-finish, hated

Read in August, 2008

Emily Giffin is a very talented writer. Her first two books were nearly impossible to put down, she wrote the main characters so sympathetically and realistically that the stories truly came alive. Her third book was decent - not as mind-blowingly good as the first two, but still okay. This one, unfortunately, I couldn't even finish.

My problem does not stem with the plot - a married woman runs into an ex-boyfriend and starts wondering about him and how her life could have been dif...more

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06/23/08

Jessica rated it:

Read in June, 2008

A fine example of the current state of "chick lit" as the protagonists move from the search for the soul mate to what happens after the wedding. Here, our plucky girl in the city has just married a smart, successful, rich, nice, handsome guy who adores her and who happens to be the brother of her best friend from college. A chance run-in with her ex-boyfriend on the street somehow (inexplicably, in my view) leads to months of subterfuge and guilt-inducing internal dialogues about wheth...more

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03/03/08

Kelly (happyklamb10) rated it:

bookshelves: chick-lit, fiction

Read in July, 2008

I had both good and bad reactions to this book. Good: it definitely sucked me in. It was hard not to be constantly wondering what choices Ellen would make next. The last 30 pages were impossible to put down. I also though Giffin did a good job of examining love and choice from a variety of angles. A very multi-facted way of viewing the storyline.

Bad: Sometimes Ellen just STRESSED me out. She had great internal dialogue, but the fact that she would never talk to Andy about her f...more

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07/03/08

Bree rated it:

bookshelves: chick-lit

Read in July, 2008

It took me days to read this book which a chick lit book takes 1 or 2 days to read. I found the main character Ellen as a whiny, ungrateful brat. That is funny because the author wrote a sad background story for her: poor, pittsburgh breed, lost her mother as teen. However I felt angry as I read the book that she was such a bitchy woe is me kind of girl. I tried to think about my past relationships to connect with her feelings of her ex but I just don't think any of my ex's are worth the fee...more

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02/21/08

KimmyB rated it:

Read in May, 2008

I'm unsure about this book (but I REALLY wanted to love it)...part of me wanted to give it 4 stars and then there were times when I was thinking 2-3. I probably would have given it 3.5 stars, but that option isn't on goodreads. I don't want to say too much because many of you are planning on reading this book...and I honestly can't pinpoint why I wasn't as big of a fan of this book as some of her others. I do think that as far as chick lit goes, Emily Giffin is one of the best authors out there....more

Like this review? yes (2 people liked it)

1 comment

05/21/08

Rupa rated it:

Read in May, 2008

I have to admit that I do like some "chick-lit" and that I have read all of Emily Giffin's books. That said, I really didn't think that this book was anything special. The plot was predictable, and the characters weren't particularly memorable. Giffin's first two books, "Something Borrowed" and "Something Blue" were certainly more engaging; I wasn't as impressed by "Baby Proof" or "Love the One You're With."

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01/23/09

Stephanie rated it:

bookshelves: books-read-in-2009

Read in February, 2009

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

Emily Giffin could very well be put in the category of genius women writers. When I was growing up, my mother would devour romance novels by Danielle Steel and Barbara Delinsky. When I asked her why she read so many of them, she told me that each of the books had a resonating undertone of the married life and the feelings that all married women feel at one point or another.

So, now, after I have devoured all of Emily Giffin's books, I feel the same way about her depiction of 25-30is...more

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03/08/09

Vegas Princess rated it:

bookshelves: chick-lit, favorite-books, fiction, read-in-2009

Read in March, 2009

I really enjoyed this book. The subject matter really hit home for me. Having been in a simialr situation as Ellen I could relate to her plight and understand how confused and in turmoil she was. That first love who you love with such passion and then who breaks your heart is tough to forget. And like Ellen, I never really got closure so there was always the what if questions. But as you get older and more experienced in ways of the heart, you realize you change as a person in love and how yo...more

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02/28/09

liz rated it:

bookshelves: fun-slash-junk

Read in January, 2009

So this is the fourth book by Emily Giffin that I've read, and I have to say, it was maybe my least favorite. I didn't think the main character was as dimensional as the characters in her other books (for me, this is what really makes her stand out among chick-lit authors), and there were far fewer standout descriptive phrases. I was also oddly disappointed by the protagonist, especially when I'd compare her life with my own. I know, I know, she's a fictional character and I'm taking the book...more

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11/10/08

Kathy rated it:

Read in November, 2008

This was a nice chick-lit book. Ellen, the main character is happily married to her best friend's brother and he's close to perfect. Suddenly, she runs into her old boyfriend. The one that she had a passionate, all consuming relationship with that ended with a broken heart. They start talking and things lead to...well, read the book to find out.

While I didn't always approve of some of Ellen's actions, I appreciated her dilemma. What would you do if the one who got away came back...more

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08/08/08

Harmony Rhoades rated it:

Read in August, 2008

Initial review: Argh. I've barely gotten through the first 30 pages and I already hate the main character. I may come back to this one if I get bored, since I have sincerely enjoyed her other books... but I'll have to be REALLY bored.

Now that I've finished the book (I wasn't exactly bored - more hugely procrastinating), I've bumped up the star rating slightly. While I continued to dislike the main character throughout, the story and characters progressively became less cliched and ...more

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Which book would you like to read in July for the general fiction group?

Love The One You're With by Emily Giffin

9 votes 39.1%

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

5 votes 21.7%

All The Numbers by Judy Merrill Larsen

3 votes 13.0%

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

6 votes 26.1%

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quotes from this book

"Maybe that's what it all comes down to. love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all." More quotes...