I'm Not Supposed to Be Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder. "What the hell was that?" raged Rachel Reiland when she read the diagnosis written in her medical chart. As the 29-year old accountant, wife, and mother of young children would soon discover, it was the diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes- including bouts of anorexia, s...more
Besides Reiland constantly pissing me off which began in the first quarter of the book when her therapist "threatened" to send her to a state psych ward and she in turn wrote a horrid little paragraph of how rotten that wo ...more
It is true that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It is true that I have been gone through what Rachel had suffered: self-destructive thoughts and actions, depression, abuse, manipulation, black and white thinking, hatred, and disintegrated personality. Tiredness, emptiness, chaos, and intense passion, I’ve had them all.
"For all these years, you’ve lived under the illusion that, somehow, you made it because you were tough enough to overpower the abuse, the hatred, the hard knocks of life. But really you made it because love is so powerful that tiny little doses of it are enough to overcome the pain of the worst things life can dish out. Toughness was a faulty coping mechanism you devised to get by. But, in reality, it has been your ability to never ...more
For the first 300 pages or so, I didn't like it. It was one of those books that I didn't want to continue reading, but I couldn't put down. I couldn't bear to think that ...more
Add to this the fact that I currently work with a young man with BPD, and I couldn't wait to read this one.
I enjoyed this book, I really liked hearing about the individual experience of BPD, from her perspective, rather than more externally as if from a text book, I thought it was a great way to show people what it's really like, that it's an experi ...more
So many relationships are ruined through untreated addiction and mental illness. This story of courage and personal responsibility shows all of us another way.
The words “mental illness” are scary words. What I remember from the film on mental illness we watched in junior high health class was the shock treatments those ...more
The following quote is from the epilogue of the book and it speaks about it in general terms.
Tempting as it may be to draw one conclusion or another from my story and universalize it to apply to another's experience, it is not my intention for my book to be seen as some sort of cookie-cutter approach and explanation of mental illness, It is not ab advocacy of any particular form of therapy over another. Nor is it meant to take sides in the legitimate and necessary debate withi...more
This book i ...more
she really told all....all the embarassing and awful shit; i'm sure the book helps lots of people who feel as she did.
First of all, the title, "My RECOVERY from BPD"? I'm pretty damn sure people with BPD can't possibly "recover" from it, it's part of who we are and we somehow learn to live with it.
It is a memoir, but an awful one, through the entire book, it described how she coped her mental "problems" by going to mental hospital, talk to therapist and finally 'recover' from it, sorry this just seems ...more
considering the dysfunctional families and the story of being brought up in such conditions is almost a typical scenario for most of the familes.
I wept a lot reading through this book, for I was able to read through my own childhood on many occasions.
the parts related to how she used to view God is very similar to my vision, though until now I haven't made real peace with him. my realization to matters didn't reach that state ...more