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159th out of 411 books
—
429 voters
1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
*650,000 copies of the previous editions have been sold.More than 30% new material in the 3rd edition.2nd Edition released 1995.
Paperback, 224 pages
Published
February 1st 2004
by Parentmagic, Inc.
(first published 1995)
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This book was recommended to me by a friend who has 10 children. It was helpful in understanding what to do when you as a parent get frustrated with your children. I especially liked the authors explanation on little-adult syndrome. Children are not naturally logical like adults and I make that mistake all the time with my five year-old becuase he talks to me like he's an adult sometimes. To make the counting discipline effective you have to use silence. I've found it effective and it certainly...more
How in the world do you begin to discipline a young child? When they get older, it's easy: no TV, no dessert, no play time with friends. But what about when all they do is run around and torment the place? Enter "1-2-3 Magic". It has a simple premise. Tell the child to stop doing something. If he doesn't stop, "that's one". Give him until three, with about five seconds in between one and two. On three, he's off to his room or isolated in a chair for a minute or two. When the timeout is complete,...more
Great parenting book (but I have to admit, I think I have now had my fill for a while on parenting books). I have heard references to this book several times over the years and I finally decided on my sister's recommendation to read it. Unfortunately, we get a few parenting book recommendations... haha.
I know if I apply this consistently, it will be positive all around. I have started, but I know I need to be more consistent AND get Eric on board.
So here are my notes for me or anyone else who fe...more
I know if I apply this consistently, it will be positive all around. I have started, but I know I need to be more consistent AND get Eric on board.
So here are my notes for me or anyone else who fe...more
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This book provided some helpful advice for disciplining my two little ones, ages 4 and 2. Although we have always in our home used a straight-forward time out system, the common-sense and easy method this book focuses on, this book provided additional suggestions for tweaking the time outs to better suit our family. For example, if both kids are acting up simultaneously, we do 1-2-3 Separate and both kids are sent to opposite areas of the common room; and if the kids are teasing our (fortunately...more
I knew this was going to be a terrible book. It was recommended to me by a terrible speech therapist who was a behavioral therapist wanna-be, and a bad one at that. Thankfully she got fired because apparently no one else liked her approach either, which was based on this book. I read the book though, because hey, I'm open minded. You wont see me say this often, but I lost some brain cells by reading that book. I would not be so unkind as to recommend this book to anyone. Now, usually I can take...more
This is the best, easiest, and most effective method of discipline for children that I have found. Working as a substitute teacher for several years and as a kindergarten teacher for one year - a few years ago - it was a life saver. I had read many books on the subject because it was my understanding that a peaceful and maintained classroom are the foundations for learning.
The video was also recommended by the teacher with whom I was sharing the classroom in my first and last year teaching. She...more
The video was also recommended by the teacher with whom I was sharing the classroom in my first and last year teaching. She...more
As the parent of two toddlers, a boy and a girl, I feel that I constantly need to learn something new every day about being a good parent, while avoiding overparenting.
I particularly enjoyed the 1-2-3 counting technique described in the book, which I successfully use with my kids to enforce discipline. Among other things the author talks about the importance of positive reinforcement and effective communication.
However, the idea that resonates the most is centered around our lack of attentiven...more
I particularly enjoyed the 1-2-3 counting technique described in the book, which I successfully use with my kids to enforce discipline. Among other things the author talks about the importance of positive reinforcement and effective communication.
However, the idea that resonates the most is centered around our lack of attentiven...more
This would actually be four and half stars for me. I knocked off half a star for having to sit through the intro and first chapter which was really nothing but brag, brag, brag about the book and it's success. ~I bought the book, you don't need to sell me on it~ or, in my case ~I'm reading the book (it was a gift), you don't need to sell me on it~ comes readily to mind.
Once passed the point of egomania, however, this is a great, easy to read book. To be honest, when it was given to me, I sort of...more
Once passed the point of egomania, however, this is a great, easy to read book. To be honest, when it was given to me, I sort of...more
We've had this book sitting on our shelf for a while now, and when my daughter turned 2, I finally decided it was time to read it. I swear, she knew what was up, because when I started reading it, she started acting up. But when I finished the first section (Controlling Obnoxious Behavior), she calmed right back down. Maybe it was because I was implementing the technique?
The counting has worked pretty well for us. I rarely make it to 3, which makes me sound like a great parent, but in reality I...more
The counting has worked pretty well for us. I rarely make it to 3, which makes me sound like a great parent, but in reality I...more
I didn't finish this book. I got fed up with it after reading the phrase, "1-2-3-Magic is not magic, it just seems like it!" five times in the first thirty pages. It was also peppered with sarcastic remarks that were probably meant to be cute and funny but just got on my nerves and were borderline offensive. ("What if you have children who always respond to words and reasons? You are certainly lucky! Recent research has indicated that there are three such children in this country. If you have on...more
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This is a pretty good basic parenting book, simple to understand and read through. In my opinion, the most effective parts are actually the things they ask you to start with: knowing that being a parent involves two attitudes (firm/fair and warm/loving) and that discipline requires a minimum of both words and emotion. Once you have that down, the actual parenting methods they discuss are mostly window dressing. This is only from my own experience, however, so your mileage may vary. And the book...more
I read this book the first time when my oldest child was a few months short of two and it helped me gain peace of mind, lose my anger and gain patience, but other than that it didn't really help too much. He was still just too young.
Since then, my very energetic, loud and curious three and four year olds have started driving me crazy. It was a good time to revisit this book since we're living with my in-laws and they find my children to be intolerable.
It definitely helps remind me that kids are...more
Since then, my very energetic, loud and curious three and four year olds have started driving me crazy. It was a good time to revisit this book since we're living with my in-laws and they find my children to be intolerable.
It definitely helps remind me that kids are...more
This book was a quick and easy read, as well as a quick and easy solution to our day to day trivial battles. The no-talking, no-emotions, 1-2-3 approach to timeout has worked wonders on my 3-year-old son, and I can't wait to be able to use it for my daughter who is currently 17 months old and too young for the system. The no-talking, no-emotion rule is intriguing at first, and I could see how it would work, but wondered if it would even effect my son and our relationship. Well, it has, for the b...more
I have a love/hate relationship with parenting books. I love the ideas in (most of) them but actually instigating the changes rarely happens. They also tend to be hard for me to get through because they go into such depths of explanations, etc, etc. I guess I have parenting ADD :(
Not the case with this super quick read "1-2-3 Magic". It is a quick read and, because they only focus on three things, it's a quick implement. I admit to being skeptical - I have always mocked the parents who count, "1...more
Not the case with this super quick read "1-2-3 Magic". It is a quick read and, because they only focus on three things, it's a quick implement. I admit to being skeptical - I have always mocked the parents who count, "1...more
It is always hard to fully implement the parenting techniques given in any book, because your situation never seems to quite fit the mold. We have had some success using 1-2-3 magic, but there was certainly no "magic" to it. I am sure the author would accuse us of not following it as exact as we should, but trust me, you cannot always send your child to "take 5" or give them another equally as impacting discipline when you are supposed to. Further, our child tested this method (i.e., let us get...more
I have not read a parenting book in about twelve years (not because I think I have it all figured out, because I'm too busy parenting). :) This book is awesomeness. I feel like I have really good kids (at least they work for me) and this took their goodness to a new level. Taking the emotion out of discipline is exactly what I needed. I want to be able to save all emotion for the good parts of parenting and skip on it for the frustrating parts. I truly believe that anyone who follows this idea,...more
I think this book had great ideas for disciplining children, ideas that make sense for any parent who wants to be in control of their home. The most useful section for me was part 1, about ending "Stop Behaviors." We've been using the 1-2-3 and the No Emotion, No Talking Rules when enforcing a rule with Adeline. She's still in the Testing phase because she's mad at us for disciplining her so consistently when she throws a tantrum, but we do usually gain control sooner than we did before.
Part 2,...more
Part 2,...more
while i wouldn't use this book as gospel on how to raise your child, this book has been VERY helpful in giving me tools to handle my 3-year-old as he tests his boundaries and asserts his need for independence. the big light bulb went off when i read (paraphrased) 'the best way to guarantee that your child will repeat negative behavior is to have a highly emotional reaction to it.' it helped me realize what my child is looking for when he's acting out and how to redirect our situations to an ulti...more
I recommend this book for anyone who feels like they have lost control of their children and household. This book gives you a good method to help you take back that control. This is a method that will work with all children not just the strong-willed. We haven't put it into practice yet so I can't give a full review, but we are going too as soon as I sit down with my husband to watch the DVD that you can get with it. Kyle didn't read the book so I feel that we need to watch the DVD for his sake....more
Hmmm. Seems a little harsh to me but then I am struggling with discipline of my 2 year old also. I do not like losing it emotionally or shouting or anything like that and she sure likes pressing my buttons lately!! The counting and time out ehhh....I'm not a huge fan of time outs. And Shea Anne broke my heart the other day "I in time out again" with little teary eyes. I do think we need some other tools or reactions, and to let some things just go and pick our battles. Maybe I will give this a t...more
Mar 06, 2009
Clint
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Parents of kids, baby sitters, primary teachers, and grandparents even.
My wife used to always watch the show Super-Nanny trying get tips for raising our kids. I couldn't stand it. It was 1% information to that load of drama and crazy kids. Bleh.
This book on the other hand is Excellent. Its a short book that really gives you a framework to:
1) Stop your kids obnoxious behavior,
2) Get your kids to Start doing stuff (chores, getting ready for bed, etc.) and
3) Helping you set aside time to build healthy friendships with your kids.
My wife read the book and was so exc...more
This book on the other hand is Excellent. Its a short book that really gives you a framework to:
1) Stop your kids obnoxious behavior,
2) Get your kids to Start doing stuff (chores, getting ready for bed, etc.) and
3) Helping you set aside time to build healthy friendships with your kids.
My wife read the book and was so exc...more
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One of my student teachers this semester picked this up for her classroom management, and the following week a friend was telling me what wonders it had worked on her 5 yo. I thought the universe had thrust the book in my face enough ties for me to read it, so I did.
The only reason it didn't get a 5 is b/c I think the counting part leaves out a crucial connection: why kids act out. My goal for Owen (and my students) is to understand how their feelings effect their behavior and to teach them to m...more
The only reason it didn't get a 5 is b/c I think the counting part leaves out a crucial connection: why kids act out. My goal for Owen (and my students) is to understand how their feelings effect their behavior and to teach them to m...more
First of all, I don't like reading parenting books because I find them tedious reading and each single new idea is buried in 3 or 4 chapters. So the fact that I read this one means I'm having one of my S.O.S. episodes with my kids. Nevertheless, I thought this book was great. It provided several new ideas in a practical, concise way that I'm actually excited to try out. It was also laugh out loud funny. It was like this author was hiding in my closet recording my every day conversation and playi...more
Now we just started using the practices in the book and we actually haven't counted any behaviors yet. So I may change my rating, good or bad after a couple weeks of using the method. I disagree with a few points in the book, but that is normal but overall Phelan was spot on with things. I really like the idea of counting because my 8 year old loves to argue. There is no room for arguing and I already feel relieved. I would recommend this book to those that have three-12 year old children. My tw...more
Simple methods for disciplining young children ("counting" bad behavior, incentivizing good behavior) with the intended result being a family environment that allows parents and children to enjoy being together. The writing style is a little goofy, and the author seems to be writing for lowest-common-denominator parents (people with anger management issues, some of whom hit their children or scream at them or are even kind of cruel in their speech -- sometimes, while reading his examples, I woul...more
Wonderul parenting book. Simple techniques to stop bad behavior and good suggestions to motivate your kids to do the things you want them to. Probably a lot of things you are already doing, but gives you a lot of food for thought on how to be an even more effective parent. Some of the highlights for me were: overparenting, anxious parent angry child syndrome, avoid "little-adult" talking, parents talk too much, no talking/no-emotion rules, and of course counting: "That's 1, That's 2, That's 3, T...more
A very good book that shows how to use the counting technique for stopping inappropriate behaviors and other techniques for starting certain behaviors, like getting ready for bed. We've been using the techniques and they are starting to become effective. These things tend to take longer with our daughter, but the program looks to be a good one. We also started use of a reward chart, which is helping to keep our daughter focused on developing routinized activities so that she can begin to transit...more
Aug 03, 2011
Miranda Clark
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
parenting-favorites
This book has revolutionized my household - especially for my darling 3 and 1/2 year old. "Momma, don't get to three," is now heard regularly to the response of raised eyebrows. Of course you actually have to do something when you get to three...ie. send them to time out of take away some privilege. But, I swear it works. My favorite part is when Phelan breaks down all the possible resistance to this discipline strategy into 6 basic categories - badgering, threatening, physical aggression, marty...more
This is the most effective discipline method I have ever tried! Love it...to this day I still only have to say, "That's one" to my kids and they settle right in. I highly recommend it to anyone with a young family.
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Colton's pediatrician recommended this book to us at his 18-month check-up when I told her that I've yet to find a form of discipline that works for Colton. She told me that Colton is still young but to be consistent and to read this book. I'm so happy I did! It's a wonderful book that gives terrific advice. I think the book is geared more towards disciplining kids who are around 4 years old and older, but the author gives you a great foundation to lay with young kids. Joe and I are going to sta...more
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