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How to Be a Gentleman: A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy
In a world of cellular phones, express lanes, business lunches, and political correctness, being a gentleman seems to be more and more complicated. Gentlemanly behavior, says John Bridges, is not about do's and don'ts, but about common sense and courtesy. A gentleman does not use his cellular phone during a concert, nor does he borrow more money than he can afford to pay b...more
Hardcover, 144 pages
Published
March 13th 2001
by Rutledge Hill Press
(first published November 30th 1997)
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Its difficult for me to rate this book. I don't like part of its style, in that it simply describes 'what the gentleman ought to do' with alot less of the why than I would like. Manners are not esoteric rules that people memorize, they are the result of consistent courtesy and reflection about the best way to do things. They should be intelligible.
There is however another dimension to learning especially with behavior and relationships, and that is by observing or by doing (i.e. gentlemanly beh...more
There is however another dimension to learning especially with behavior and relationships, and that is by observing or by doing (i.e. gentlemanly beh...more
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I just want to say that I am a fan of this etiquette-type literature (so I am a bit biased), not so much because I take it as literal rules to live by (I think people should live exactly as they wish at parties and elsewhere-- this is what makes life such an adventure.), but because I find the arbitrariness and randomness of some of the rules in these books completely hilarious. When Bridges follows something that sounds somewhat serious and practical ("A gentleman always lets his suit jacket sp...more
When I was in college, I used to subscribe to Esquire, and back in those days (late 70s, early 80s), it contained short bits on how men were expected to behave. I rather liked them, and I definitely got something out of them. Most of the rest of what I know about how to behave, I picked up from reading many, many novels.
That being said, I don't feel like I got a lot out of this book, reading it at 50. As the author acknowledges, most of behavior is determined based on consideration for others, s...more
That being said, I don't feel like I got a lot out of this book, reading it at 50. As the author acknowledges, most of behavior is determined based on consideration for others, s...more
Most things didn't really apply to me because of my young age (and also sometimes due to religion) For example a lesson in wine - in no will I be drinking wine at this age and faith.
I wouldn't say the courtesies outlined in this book were all-encompassing (it was a short read). I think this is more of an addition to Other How To Be a GentleMan books. Most of the articles also will probably not apply to young men - more like those in their prime (25-45 years old).
But again, I got this book from...more
I wouldn't say the courtesies outlined in this book were all-encompassing (it was a short read). I think this is more of an addition to Other How To Be a GentleMan books. Most of the articles also will probably not apply to young men - more like those in their prime (25-45 years old).
But again, I got this book from...more
I seriously read this while I was bored in a Mississippi living room. It's a great reminder of why upper class white Southern people are the most boring people imaginable... if only I needed reminders?
A dry, basic guide to manners. Good enough for what it is and smartly organized, Bridges dishes solid advice on how to be a modern day gentleman. Even though I think a lot of what this book has to say is common knowledge, I guess if it truly was common then we wouldn't need this book in the first place. I enjoyed the example dialog that illustrates the point Bridges is making in each section, as it comes off as a little cheesy and humorous. This book is clearly meant for people with an upper cla...more
I learned useful tidbits such as "anytime a person can identify the brand of scent that a man is wearing, he is wearing too much."
Also "if the food set before him is intended to be eaten piping-hot (or icy cold), and if a gentleman is the first person to be served at his table, he waits for one other person to be served, and then he begins to eat."
It has a light, practical tone with snippets of advice instead of long lists of rules. The book intends to help the gentleman behave in a way that...more
Also "if the food set before him is intended to be eaten piping-hot (or icy cold), and if a gentleman is the first person to be served at his table, he waits for one other person to be served, and then he begins to eat."
It has a light, practical tone with snippets of advice instead of long lists of rules. The book intends to help the gentleman behave in a way that...more
1. A gentleman says "please" and "thank you," readily and often.
2. A gentleman does not disparage the beliefs of others-whether they relate to matters of faith, politics, or sports teams.
3. A gentleman always carries a handkerchief, and is ready to lend it, especially to a weeping lady, should the need arise.
4. A gentleman never allows a door to slam in the face of another personmale or female, young or old, absolute stranger or longtime best friend.
5. A gentleman does not make jokes about race,...more
2. A gentleman does not disparage the beliefs of others-whether they relate to matters of faith, politics, or sports teams.
3. A gentleman always carries a handkerchief, and is ready to lend it, especially to a weeping lady, should the need arise.
4. A gentleman never allows a door to slam in the face of another personmale or female, young or old, absolute stranger or longtime best friend.
5. A gentleman does not make jokes about race,...more
Half advice on how not to be a dick which should be self evident, half tips about manners which are oudated and pointless. That sounds cynical but its actually pleasing to read. It tells "what a gentleman" would do under various stressors and situations. You get to ask yourself "what do/would I do in this scenario, and therefore am I a gentleman?" Im guessing its meant to be picked up randomly and flipped though for a while, not really "read" in the normal sense. A bathroom book, or a side table...more
I'm convinced one of my bosses lives by every rule in this book.
I think it's better to read the etiquette book for the other gender -- most of it is the same nowadays and it's easier to say "oh, that's a good rule for gentlemen; I should follow it too" than it is to hear there's a recommendation for ladies that you're not following. And of course there are exceptions for everything. I didn't find this an offensive read at all (in contrast to many of the reviewers of How to Be a Lady.)
I think it's better to read the etiquette book for the other gender -- most of it is the same nowadays and it's easier to say "oh, that's a good rule for gentlemen; I should follow it too" than it is to hear there's a recommendation for ladies that you're not following. And of course there are exceptions for everything. I didn't find this an offensive read at all (in contrast to many of the reviewers of How to Be a Lady.)
Some useful stuff, but a bit preppy for my liking. Not so sure about the sections on formal attire, cumberbunds and sports jackets for those of us who don't live on the US East Coast!
Most of the rest is common sense, unless you have been living under a rock.
All of that being said, there are a lot of people out there who could clearly use a little help with their basic manners. This book will help.
Most of the rest is common sense, unless you have been living under a rock.
All of that being said, there are a lot of people out there who could clearly use a little help with their basic manners. This book will help.
This was definitely a good book and worth reading. It gives a lot of good tips about how to show good etiquette and upbringing in a variety of social situations. At times the guy would make ridiculous suggestions, but for the most part I think that every guy should read this book, especially if he is looking to go into the business world.
Despite not being a gentleman, I read this book. (It was left on my Kindle.) Some useful tips for men who don't know or weren't trained on how to be a gentleman or for those of us who were unsure on the proper way to eat an artichoke. I wish it would have addressed flatulence, however. Even my most "gentlemanly" friends have problems with this issue. :)
Dec 16, 2011
Huma Rashid
rated it
3 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
21st-century,
america,
compilation,
culture,
england,
instructional,
nonfiction,
proletariat,
self-help
I'm not a gentleman, but I *am* curious. I read this book on a whim, just to see what it had to say. It's a solid text filled with pithy little notes, and longer explanations as necessary, and even some helpful diagrams about things like how to tie a bowtie. A quick, easy read (even though I didn't agree with everything in it - serious political differences, for example, are a great reason to decline an invitation to the White House) full of rules of conduct that I wish more men would abide by....more
This short volume is intended to be a primer on gentlemanly behavior. It's organized as a collection of short pithy comments and guidelines with very little depth.
Much of the advice boils down to common sense and should be a review for most people. But I definitely had my share of "ah-ha!" moments, when I realized I had just never adequately thought through a situation before and was not behaving appropriately. I suspect all but the most refined of readers would have similar moments of discovery...more
Much of the advice boils down to common sense and should be a review for most people. But I definitely had my share of "ah-ha!" moments, when I realized I had just never adequately thought through a situation before and was not behaving appropriately. I suspect all but the most refined of readers would have similar moments of discovery...more
My friends husband had this book I read it while staying at their house. I liked it so much that I bought it for my new nephew. Although I can't aspire to be a gentleman I found some of the common tips like introductions very useful.
Mom gave this to me...hopefully I will remember all of its lessons so as to not embarrass her. Honestly though, this book is a good, clear reminder of how to behave while around other people and how to take pride in himself.
An excellent reference to give as a gift to those friends or relatives who wants to be a better man. I'm please to had a father to teach me most of the manners and customs included in the book.
A bit American for my taste but the basics are there. I'm sure plenty of men would benefit from reading this book. For such men, I would recommend it.
Typical. A cookbook but not a recipe for success as a gentleman. Why not tell stories, offer anecdotes to persuade reader and inspire action vs ....
A book for all men to read. Nice that it is written by a man, not some P.O.S. manual written by a woman with unrealistic expectations from Venus.
Jun 04, 2009
Kerne Fahey
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
gentlemen, un-gentlemen
Recommended to Kerne by:
my wife
A collection of aphorisms concerning gentlemanly behavior. Includes diagrams for proper dinnerware arrangement. Too short and sweet, over all.
A truly outstanding and memorable work on the manners that seemed to have been forgotten in this "me" age.
A must have. A must read
A must have. A must read
This book provided various tips on etiquette. Interesting and not a waste of time. I recommend it to all males.
wasn't fantastic, wasn't too bad. learned some neat things I probably should have already known lol.
I'm not sure you can learn it out of a book, but it probably doesn't hurt to be reminded once in a while.
A good book overall, with useful advice. Nothing groundbreaking, and a bit shorter than I would have liked.
Don't underestimate the importance of common courtesy. This book is great! 5 out of 5, no question
Example of a helpful tip: "A gentleman does not over-excite his friends' children." Oops!
Sep 25, 2009
Kate
marked it as to-read
Just bought this for my husband and sons. Probably will have to read myself to help them along.
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John Bridges is the author of the bestselling book, HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN, today's most popular guide to etiquette for the modern man. When it comes to handling any issue related to courtesy, common or uncommon -- whether it's how to use a shrimp fork, how to conduct yourself in a business meeting, or knowing when to turn off your cell phone -- John is "Mr. Right."
"Over the course of my life, I've...more
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