I'm Ok, You're Ok
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

I'm Ok, You're Ok

3.63 of 5 stars 3.63  ·  rating details  ·  9,986 ratings  ·  161 reviews
Transactional Analysis delineates three observable ego-states (Parent, Adult, Child) as the basis for the content & quality of interpersonal communication. Happy childhood notwithstanding, says Harris, most live out the Not ok feelings of a defenseless child, dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking & caring. At some stage early on we adopt a position about ou...more
Paperback, 287 pages
Published June 8th 1973 by Pan Books (first published 1967)
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about I'm Ok, You're Ok, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about I'm Ok, You're Ok

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
History has not been kind to I'm Okay-You're Okay: Inter-racial marriages and pre-marital sex are not quite the taboo subjects they used to be and it's been a while since I saw the word "retards" used seriously. Indeed, the world Harris portrays seems straight out of Leave it to Beaver, which cements the whole feel of the book in the time and place it was written.

But there is much to learn here on the topic of transactional analysis and the P-A-C (parent, adult and child) within us all. Particu...more
این کتاب به نوعی عصاره مشرب روانشناسی معاصر آمریکاست که در تقابل جدی با مکتب اروپایی لکان قرار دارد.
تامس هریس با محور قرار دادن علوم رفتاری به تحلیل رفتار آدمی دست می زند و تقسیم بندی او شامل کودک-بالغ -والد است که به زعم نویسنده، علی زغم شباهت به تقسیم بندی مشهور فروید (نهاد-من-فرا من) با آن متفاوت است.
از جمله برجستگی های این کتاب، کاربرد آن برای استفاده در ادبیات نمایشی است، چنانکه ابراهیم مکی در کتاب "شناخت عوامل نمایش" خواندن این کتاب را به عنوان پایه ای برای تحلیل رفتار های انسان و در نتیجه...more
It's rare that you come across a book that takes you six months to finish, with more or less weekly efforts to just get it over with. 274 pages later and I still can't identify Harris's thesis.

This book suffers from trying to be everything and ends up being nothing. Despite my bitter frustration from laboring through this insipid, disorganized mess, I still will give Harris the benefit of the doubt and assume this was all done in good faith and was a concerted effort to reach out to people in n...more
Mary Lou
Lots of good information my favorites:

When it doubt leave it out (restrain first impulse)
Blaming your faults on your nature does not change the nature of your faults
If you do not chart a course, you will fall back in the same spot
Love is not glazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it
If you baby a baby when he's a baby you won't have to baby him the rest of his life
People attract not that which they want,...more
Adam Bryant
My mom called me a hippy for reading this book, but it gave me a unique perspective on how to approach interpersonal relationships with everyone in my life. I learned lessons in the book that I use on a daily basis in parenting, being a husband, and working with others, nearly 15 years after reading it for the first time. If you half to ever talk to other humans, you should read it.
About fourteen billion years ago when I was a young child, I remember my mother had this book on my parents’ bookshelf. I remember three things about it. Firstly, it was one of the few titles on that memorable shelf that I could understand at that age. I also remember the strong vivid colours of the cover, so redolent of the 70s. The final thing I remember is that it was definitely my mother’s book and not my father’s. I think in later years, although my memory is scratched from my furious effor...more
Susanna - Censored by GoodReads
I'm still trying to figure out why a psychiatrist thought this was a good book to give a deeply depressed 12-year-old.
Gary Patton
Dr. Harris' book was the second of the late 1960s & early ‘70s pop-psychology books about "Transactional Analysis that was written for the mass North American market. It's predecessor was "Games People Play" by Eric Berne, the father of "Transactional analysis, and Dr. Harris' mentor and teacher.

Both were run-away Best Sellers ...each holding NY Times Best Seller list records. Might this be because: "Self-help’s readers — guilt-stricken, fear-plagued, stupid-choice-making as they are — can b...more
Snopsis, although not mine, of the Book - Over 7 Million sold per Amazon.

Transactional Analysis delineates three observable ego-states (Parent, Adult, and Child) as the basis for the content and quality of interpersonal communication. "Happy childhood" notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the Not ok feelings of a defenseless child, dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring. At some stage early in our lives we adopt a "position" about ourselves and others that de...more
I had to read this book twice before I realised its significance. It would be a huge mistake to think that this is simply a 1960's psychobabble book, understanding transactional analysis can really help you understand what other people mean, not just what they say. It's a book that should be read by anyone who has to deal with people on a day-to-day basis... and that's most of us.
Not to be dismissed as 60's pop psychology. An easy read, but makes me differenciate rational decisionmaking from acceptance of unevaluated truth statements.
Urban Sedlar
An eye-opening interpretation of interpersonal relationships; it develops a theory, free of often misunderstood psychological jargon, that anyone should be able to understand in the same manner.

The main idea put forward is that everyone consists of three separate states: the parent, the child and the adult. Parent state mimics how you perceived your own parents from birth to the age of ~5, the child state is a tape recording of your own feelings of inferiority as a child (from birth to the age o...more
Gabriel-paul Israel
I really enjoyed reading this book. I have struggled for a very long time with the crossed lines of transactional analysis. I find that the diagrams in the book are wonderful for further understanding of the Parent, Adult, Child paradigm. I have been learning this paradigm for awhile without knowing where the paradigm first began. I use of the information within the paradigm has helped me grow and better understand myself. Furthermore, I think that the importance of the discussion of the labels...more
Ken Henry
This was required reading in college. It has without a doubt has some insightful arguments. A elementary level of communication skills.
However, another "feel good book that misses out on the importance of evaluating ones self upon a wrong system of beliefs.
Would better be described in the self help books, " fake it till you make it." A clean shave , clean cut hair and new cloths
and now by self pronouncement your O..K. and so is everyone else.
It most certain is written from a world view of man. "...more
Saman Kashi

من هیچ وقت دوست نداشتم و ندارم که کسی برایم معلم باشد و معلم‌بازی در بیاورد. همیشه از نصیحت متنفر بودم. به همین خاطر نه از کسی نصیحت می‌شنوم و نه به کسی نصیحت می‌کنم. دوره‌ی این حرف‌ها گذشته است دیگر

یادم می‌اید چند وقت پیش با یکی از دوستان صحبت می‌کردم. می‌گفت : من هر وقت به کسی کتاب هدیه می‌دهم برایش به عنوان تقدیم نامه یک جمله‌ی قصار یا تکان‌دهنده یا سنگین می‌نویسم. بهش گفتم من متنفرم از این که کسی کتابی به من هدیه بدهد که به عنوان تقدیم‌نامه برایم جمله‌ی قصار بنویسد و از این تیپ حرف‌ها. مثل ب...more
این اثر توماس هریس را اسماعیل فصیح به فارسی برگردانده و نشر نو در 1365 منتشر کرده است. توماس هریس یک روانپزشک است و این کتابش در دهه ی هفتاد، به عنوان پر فروش، یا "بست سللر" دو سال در صدر فروش بازار کتاب بود. شاید تنها علت ترجمه ی این کتاب به فارسی هم، احتمال فروش بالای آن بوده، که متاسفانه بنظر می رسد چنین نشد. در این زمینه در دهه ی چهل شمسی، یکی دیگر از این پیامبران آمریکایی با فرمول "زندگی خوش و خوب" در ایران مشهور شد، "دیل کارنگی"؛ که معقتد بود می داند "موفقیت" چگونه به دست می آید. حتی در بر...more
Mikey Chapman
I want to find something good to say about this book, but I'm struggling. I first heard about transactional analysis from a University Lecturer of mine, and when I came across this book in the dusty recesses of a second hand bookshop I thought why not.
I can't say I regret piking it up, as it does effectively outline the basis of transactional analysis, however it is dated in its setting, and does go off on many tangents. I also can't say that I didn't like the tangents, on the contrary I was int...more
William Perrin
This book is for the politically disaffected. It seems a major shame to me that any author would mix his own liberal political views into any writing, but that's exactly what has happened with this book. In Harris' section on "The Social Implications of PAC" - Chapter 13 - page 259 Harris writes about the "Berkley Uprising" and do I really care? No that isn't why I chose to read the book. This book is littered with such non-sense from page 1 straight through the rest of the material. I've heard...more
Jonathan Karmel
This book about transactional analysis is one of the best selling self-help books of all time, so I thought it was interesting just to learn about this popular theory of psychology from a generation ago.

Although this was presented as a novel theory of human behavior when it was written, it seems to be very much based on Freud's ideas about psychology. The basic idea is that as very young children, we all develop feelings of "not OK" from having bad behavior corrected by our parents, and we all l...more
Arun ks
"To say that we are free is merely to mean that we know what we are doing". Been in emotional unrest and lack of a way to make sense of what i do (The games that I played..)

Have always turned myself away when i have read a comment or review about a book as life changing.

Here i am admitting that reading this book has been mind liberating,enlightening,life defining experience in my life for having given me a language to interpret my own mind.
RK Byers
labels almost everything, answers almost nothing.
Dennis Schroll
This book helped me out of several personal crisis. Knowing you are as good as the next person and not someone less that others gave my personality a big boost. I recommend this book to those searching for their identity in this world. Dennis Schroll
J.J. Rodeo
هدف اصلي اين كتاب اينه كه مفاهيم روانشناسي رو در يه چارچوب همه فهم بيان كنه و به نظر من تا حدود زيادي در اين زمينه موفق بود. اما اواخر كتاب كمي شعاري و غير واقع بينانه بود
Id, ego and super ego.. not a simple subject to write :) but author has to be lauded for his great efforts..

It will definitely leave your thoughts abstract.. :)
Boring once you get the main premise. Some fun moments w/dated view points and the earliest attempts at political correctness.

Dieses Werk stellte zu der Zeit als es entstanden ist, bestimmt einen großen Schritt in eine sehr wesentliche Richtung der Psychologie und -therapie dar. Ehe man allerdings an dieses Buch herangeht sollte man sich klar machen, dass das Buch vor 30 Jahren entstanden ist. Wenn man sich weiters vor Augen hält, dass es richtunggebend für eine wichtige Theorie innerhalb der Psychologie darstellt, dann kann man sich ausmalen, dass hier in der Zwischenzeit enorme Weiterentwicklungen geschehen s...more
Out I’m Ok you’re OK

What a wonderful title but how disengaged I have been throughout this book. In its presentation I had learned that George from Seinfeld was reading from this book, in one of the episodes of the famous sitcom
Somehow I expected a different, perhaps through a wrong association, humorous book.
There have been some interesting passages, but overall I did not enjoy the book as much as I had hoped or expected. The “PAC” principle seems to apply in our lives and may be common sense: w...more
Senior year, my public high school added several kooky elective classes in the pursuit of being current, cool, catholic and reduced the number of English credits required to graduate thus making Senior English non-required and clearing a slot in our schedules for an elective. Urged by those of my friends who were not all-AP and were doing likewise, I signed up for a course of what today is called psychobabble. The nebulous feel-good course description sounded mushy, arcane, and lazy. Our textboo...more
Feb 15, 2014 Anindya rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Anindya by: Mr. Venkeshwaralu
Shelves: back-2-reality
A pretty good book to figure out why you are what you are. However, I was recommended to read this to answer one more question - knowing what you are and why so, what you need to do to be what you want to be. I don't think I could figure that out.

Its a good book. One of those that demand time (read as pondering after finishing every chapter to internalize the matter).
Pritha Khalida
Baru selesai baca buku ini setelah 2 minggu. Lama juga ya? Tanpa bermaksud cari-cari alasan, tapi memang isinya rada berat buat seorang pecinta bacaan 'ringan' kayak saya, jadi mesti betul-betul dipahami.
Well, melalui buku yang menggambarkan beberapa kisah tentang kehidupan sehari-hari ini, saya belajar tentang gimana sih mestinya bersikap dengan sesama tanpa bikin 'huru-hara'.
Saya juga belajar untuk lebih memahami maksud-maksud dan keinginan orang lain.
Khas psikologi populer ya kelihatannya?
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 99 100 next »
topics  posts  views  last activity   
Book Ratings 3 21 Jun 05, 2013 05:27AM  
  • What Do You Say After You Say Hello?
  • Born To Win: Transactional Analysis With Gestalt Experiments
  • Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life
  • When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope - Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy
  • Healing the Shame that Binds You
  • On Death and Dying
  • The Feeling Good Handbook
  • On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy
  • Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
  • A New Guide to Rational Living
  • Your Erroneous Zones
  • Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families
  • Toward a Psychology of Being
  • Our Inner Conflicts: A Constructive Theory of Neurosis
  • The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships
  • Gestalt Therapy Verbatim
  • Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types
  • Necessary Losses: The Loves Illusions Dependencies and Impossible Expectations That All of us Have
ماندن در وضعیت آخر I'm Ok, You're Ok The Book of Choice Live Life Abundantly! Begin Now to Reach Your Lifetime Goals with 25 Goal-Achieving Techniques

Share This Book