Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “The Blessing” as Want to Read:
The Blessing
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

The Blessing

4.17  ·  Rating Details  ·  665 Ratings  ·  84 Reviews
Explains how the biblical gift of "the blessing" is the key to one's self-worth and emotional well-being.

Every human needs the gift of "the blessing"—the unconditional love and approval that comes from a healthy relationship with one's parents. In this update to the best-selling classic The Blessing, coauthors John Trent and Gary Smalley offer a fresh perspective on this l
Paperback, 272 pages
Published July 12th 2004 by Thomas Nelson (first published 1986)
More Details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about The Blessing, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about The Blessing

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 1,426)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  Rating Details
Andy Mitchell
Oct 01, 2011 Andy Mitchell rated it it was amazing
I first read this book over ten years ago, before I was a parent.

From the adult child point-of-view, this book confirmed what I knew already, that my parents are top-notch!

Now, I returned to this book as the parent of a 6-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son, and I found it a more challenging read.

How have I fulfilled the five elements of the blessing, an ancient practice of encouraging children to grow up into productive, responsible, loved adults?

1) Meaningful touch

2) A spoken (or written) mes
Dec 25, 2012 Lisa rated it it was amazing
The Blessing [Revised and Updated] by John Trent and Gary Smalley
The Blessing powerfully communicates biblical truths on how to instill self-worth and emotional well-being into others based on these five essential elements:

Meaningful touch
A spoken message
Attaching high value
Picturing a special future
An active commitment

In The Blessing John Trent and Gary Smalley shares countless true life stories of men and women and their personal examples of “the blessing.” While some have received a bles
Erlyn Trinidad
Jul 02, 2012 Erlyn Trinidad rated it it was amazing
Another good find I would say. The Blessing is truly a wonderful blessing that I would like to recommend to anyone who could read, just because we all have the power to bless, but most especially to all parents and educators, who, like parents, play a major role in making and breaking the self-image of children.

Unlike most books I've read as of late, that I am racing to finish, this one is something that I had to pace. Not only it is very insightful but could also be a very emotional read, not o
Gordon Alley
Oct 21, 2014 Gordon Alley rated it really liked it
This is a great book for all relationships of life: for spouses, for parents to children, for children to parents, and for churches to its members.

Gary Smalley and John Trent share the story of the blessing in the life of Jacob and Esau and their father Isaac. Many children struggle through their lives as adults because they lacked the five key elements of the blessing. These elements are meaningful touch, spoken words, expressing high-value, picturing a special future, and active commitment.

Lisa Beth
May 06, 2013 Lisa Beth rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
This is a great book. It gave me concrete suggestions to make sure my children know they have my blessing and admonished me to change some of the parenting habits I have now. It also gave me insight into the hearts of people I love who have never (and never will) received their parents blessings and ideas for ways to bless them. I was also encouraged to make blessing my spouse a fixture in our marriage and I am excited about planning evenings of blessing for both him and our children!
Chris King
Great book, very encouraging, and easy to read.

I do not think that all of a person's problems stem from their parents, and I strongly believe that each of us is responsible to try to rise above our past, even if we had a terrible upbringing. But there's no denying that the way you are raised and treated by your family has a profound affect on you. This book underscores and describes that effect.

The author emphasizes the importance and impact of parents' words and actions on their children, and
Greg Taylor
Aug 29, 2014 Greg Taylor rated it really liked it
This is a modern day classic for living a life of biblical blessing that comes from God and that people are called to give in turn to one another. The five blessings are powerful and explained in full with good illustrations and even practical ways to do the blessings formally and informally. This book may remind you of Love Languages and in many ways Blessings overlap with the ways of loving others, but there is particularity of blessing that is more penetrating for the future of a person when ...more
Catherine Gillespie
Feb 07, 2015 Catherine Gillespie rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenting
I loved the concept of this book, and there were some good points in it, but honestly nothing that I hadn’t read in Connecting Church & Home or other Christian parenting books. The idea is that parents should actively and verbally bless their children, in the sense of encouraging them, giving them positive labels, and being affectionate. These are good ideas, but weren’t written in a particularly distinctive way. I was hoping for something more insightful or profound.

{Read my full review her
Feb 11, 2015 Janice rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: hokum
The Blessing, by Gary Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D., was definitely written for a Christian audience. The family blessing includes: meaningful touch, a spoken message, attaching high value to the one being blessed, picturing a special future for the one being blessed and an active commitment to fulfill the blessing.
With a 1986 copyright, the material is dated and unscientific. What the authors call the blessing, I would guess today would be called validation or affirmation. While well meaning,
Feb 24, 2016 Debie rated it it was amazing
Shelves: own
I loved this book! I think this should be a "must read" for all parents...but this is a great book for everyone. [Make sure to get the Revised & Updated version of the book.]

The Blessing shows us how important the love and unconditional acceptance from our parents is in shaping our self-worth, confidence and emotional growth. This will help you with understanding your own life and how you were raised in your own home, but especially how you can bless your own children or others.
I think it's
In our world of fast everything, do we really have the time to bless our children, spouses, families and friends? I know my own time management is stretched to the limit with keeping our home, educating our children, being an involved wife, and so much more. So, how do we bless others? Why is it so important?

In The Blessing (revised and updated), John Trent and Gary Smalley introduce us to 5 biblically proven ways to bless our children and others. With many examples, both from scripture and the
Oct 03, 2011 Juli rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Everybody wants to be loved and accepted. Mr. Trent explains how in the Old Testament Esau missed out on his father's blessing; it went to his younger brother. Even now, we also want this blessing of love and acceptance from our family and/or friends. This book explains how you can be a blessing to your children; who crave our acceptance and our love.

As soon as I started to read The Blessing e-book, I knew that I made the right choice in choosing this book to review. I am a parent and I want the
Jul 10, 2011 Coranne rated it really liked it

I enjoyed this book. It was written in a combination of stories, lessons, and real life applications. The blessing that we are to give to our children is made of five parts: meaningful touch, a spoken or written message, attaching a high value, picture a special future, and active commitment. I will admit- at the beginning of this book I was a little confused- the entire idea of this book is very similar to the 5 love languages and I knew that was written by someone different. After reading more
Daniel Butcher
Jun 29, 2011 Daniel Butcher rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance Revised & Updated by John Trent and Gary Smalley
John Trent and Gary Smalley in The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance present the principle and practical details of providing blessing especially for our children. The authors note the need of all humans to be accepted and the power of blessing in giving this gift of acceptance and love to our children as they grow into adulthood. Trent and Smalley l
Aug 21, 2008 Mikejencostanzo rated it liked it
Shelves: reviewed
There are some books that I read the whole way through and come out feeling like it's been a journey I'm glad I went on. The type of journey where I'm glad I read every word on every page, because the author's words, examples & stories served to shape me paragraph by paragraph, page by page. To skip any single portion of the book would be to miss out on a nuance of personal growth prepared by the author. The book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero was this type of book for me ...more
Jul 12, 2011 Erin rated it it was amazing
Shelves: inspirational
"Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance" -- who does not want a part of that?! Having a number of children in my sphere of influence, and wanting to make the most of each opportunity, I was thrilled to be able to read this book. Originally published 25 years ago, this updated version brings Biblical insight up to today's terms, complete with references to Facebook and Skype!

What is "the blessing"? It's a way of letting your child know that you love them, support them, and are ther
Aug 07, 2011 Dana rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I got this book for free to review from Booksneeze. I was excited to read it, but as soon as I began it, I knew I would have trouble getting through it. It has taken me over a month to read this book, because I had a hard time getting into it and did not really enjoy reading it. But, I needed to read it to review it, and I was hoping that I would get something out of it, so I would periodically pick it back up and read a bit more.
This revised and updated edition of the book has links to a websit
Thomas Freeman
Jun 26, 2011 Thomas Freeman rated it it was amazing
This book has been a “blessing” to me and I believe to my family. I know I have been impacted by it in the past without even knowing the source. I have been taught this before. I have heard about the importance of specifically and formally writing and sharing a wonderful vision of the future for your friends and loved ones. This book was probably one of the influencers in those who have shared this with me. And although I have been influenced, I don’t think I have ever formally committed to this ...more
Sharra Badgley
Jan 20, 2013 Sharra Badgley rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Originally published in 1986, The Blessing is a best-selling classic by John Trent, PH.D. and Gary Smalley, completely revised and enhanced with new material. The Blessing is a call to action, to live out the great commission lifestyle, through bestowing Biblical blessing to children, which will undoubtedly impact generations to come.

The Blessing is based on the five elements of the Biblical blessing as mentioned in Scripture:
Meaningful Touch - a non-verbal affirmation of laying on of hands, hug
Jul 05, 2011 Melanie rated it liked it
Shelves: religion, parenting
The Blessing- Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance
John Trent and Gary Smalley have outlined some important actions parents (and spouses or friends) can take towards encouraging and blessing the people around them. Through the five elements that make up what they have coined as the Blessing (meaningful touch, spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, and active commitment) Parents are encouraged to bless their families. There are many updated web tools peop
Jul 21, 2011 Elizabeth rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting, faith
The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance by John Trent
I received this book by agreeing to blog about it from Thomas Nelson Publishing and when my mom asked what I was reading now, she said, oh yes The Blessing. Well I had never heard of it but I should have guessed that she had as she did a great job of giving that to me and my brother.
The book shares the reason the blessing of a child is so important, shows how it happened in the Bible, then goes through several chapte
Jacob Stevens
Feb 29, 2016 Jacob Stevens rated it it was amazing
As a future parent, this was a great book. The Bible is full of the principle of passing on a blessing from parent to child. It was so interesting to see that exact same principle played out in today's context. It's a principle that hasn't changed. Children need to receive a blessing from (ideally) their parents in order to release them into the rest of their lives. I look forward to being able to do that with my future children. I would highly recommend this book to any person: parent, child, s ...more
Apr 13, 2009 Jodi rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: parents
I felt like this book was written just for me! I am trying so hard to raise my children so that they have confidence in themselves and feel loved by us and accepted. This book addressed exactly these issues so wonderfully! I know that I will never be a perfect parent, not do I want to be, but this book helped to show me that there are a lot of good things that I am doing already for my children. I probably do need to spend a little more time getting down and playing with my children and listenin ...more
Rebekah Sheppard
Focuses on positive verbal and non-verbal communication with your children and extended to spouse and friends.

Five areas where family members, children and spouses, feel loved, accepted and positively uplifted:
- Meaningful touch
- A spoken message (of positive re-enforcement)
- Attaching "high value" to the recipient
- Picturing a special future for the recipient
- An active commitment to fulfill this person's growth
Dec 30, 2008 Debbie rated it really liked it
This book seems to be primarily for those who feel like they haven't received their parent's approval/blessing and want to make sure they know how to pass that blessing on to their own children. For that end, it's a very good book because it tells you in detail how to go about it. It also specifically speaks to those who feel like they never received this blessing from their parents and helps them work through that pain (whether those parents are dead or are still living and might someday give t ...more
Sep 02, 2015 Tiffany rated it really liked it
Though the book focuses on the blessing that every parent needs to give to his/her children, the underlying principles are applicable across all relationships. Wives can bless their husbands and vice versa. Coaches can bless their players and teachers can bless their students. If this simple but profoundly powerful practice was widely adopted, we could change the trajectory of countless lives.

Reading this book really struck a nerve in me as I examined the components of the blessing that I did r
Jan 25, 2015 Todd rated it really liked it
A good illustration of the importance of parents giving a blessing to their children. Smalley touches on a little broader point of how important it is as believers to share blessings with those we love around us, but the book is primarily focused on the parent-child relationship. You don't walk away from the book feeling overwhelmed by to-do's that make sure your child is ok. You come away with encouragement on how you can bless your child in little ways daily, weekly, monthly and as you watch t ...more
Jun 24, 2014 Shelly rated it it was amazing
After reading this book (and after 10 years of praying for my husband to know Christ) I wrote a blessing for him. With in 12 hours of reading my blessing to him, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. he came to know Christ before he died. I was so blessed and encouraged by this book and grateful that I was able to bless my husband.
Oct 13, 2015 Danica rated it liked it
I really liked the concept of this book. "The Blessing" is certainly Biblical, I just found the actual writing of this book to be a bit boring and repetitive. That said, there were valuable takeaways that I know will shape my parenting and I'm grateful for that. (I'd give it 3.5 stars if that were an option.)
Mar 02, 2012 Gayla rated it liked it
This book is really good! It focuses on the parent-child relationship in regards to verbal communication and actions. The authors give Biblical principles and examples of how blessing children affects their lives positively long-term from birth all the way into adulthood. Also, it addresses the results of children who do not receive any blessings at all from their parents, or a "withholding" of the blessing.

Honestly, I think I would have gotten more out of this book if I had my own children. I
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 47 48 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Love Is A Decision
  • The Most Important Place on Earth: What a Christian Home Looks Like and How to Build One
  • The Shaping of a Christian Family
  • How to Raise Selfless Kids in a Self-Centered World
  • The Mom Factor
  • Gospel-Powered Parenting, How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting
  • Raising a Modern Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood
  • Parenting Beyond Your Capacity: Connect Your Family to a Wider Community
  • Parenting Isn't for Cowards
  • Tender Warrior: God's Intention for a Man
  • Heartfelt Discipline: The Gentle Art of Training and Guiding Your Child
  • Grace-Based Parenting
  • You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child
  • Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home
  • Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments
  • The Ministry of Motherhood: Following Christ's Example in Reaching the Hearts of Our Children
Dr. John Trent is an award winning author of marriage and family books such as The Blessing.[1] He is the creator of the Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, and Beaver (LOGB) way of looking at personalities. He is the President of and the Center for StrongFamilies both are organizations committed to strengthening marriage and family relationships worldwide.[2] He and his wife Cindy h ...more
More about John Trent...

Share This Book

No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »

“If we are serious about helping our children move toward warmth and light and love, we need to light their footsteps on just such a positive path. The blessing is the best way I know to provide such a light. T” 0 likes
“Every person needs the blessing to feel truly loved and secure about himself or herself. W” 0 likes
More quotes…