Quiet, Please: Dispatches From A Public Librarian

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Quiet, Please: Dispatches From A Public Librarian

by Scott Douglas (Goodreads Author)

3.15 of 5 stars 3.15 · rating details · 1,124 ratings · 337 reviews

For most of us, librarians are the quiet people behind the desk, who, apart from the occasional �shush,” vanish into the background. But in Quiet, Please, McSweeney’s contributor Scott Douglas puts the quirky caretakers of our literature front and center. With a keen eye for the absurd and a Kesey-esque cast of characters (witness the librarian who is sure Thomas Pynchon i...more

Hardcover, 330 pages

Published March 25th 2008 by Da Capo Press (first published March 24th 2008)

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Community Reviews

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Jun 27, 2008 Sarah rated it 1 of 5 stars

Disappointing.

I had high expectations of this book. I hoped the author's observations about public librarianship and library school would be amusing or insightful. They were neither.

Some advice to Mr. Douglas:

* ~~"Smelt" is not the past tense of the verb smell~~, and "desert" is not what comes at the end of a meal.
* Footnotes are a bold choice, and should be used only by those with the skill to pull it off. For good examples, please see Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell or the front matter to A Hea...more

30 likes · like · see review

Jun 23, 2008 Suzanne rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: adult-nonfiction

I loved this book. Why? Because
A) I thought library school was the biggest waste of my time and money and will tell it to anyone who will listen
2) I think librarians by and large are the most socially defunct group of people (I may be included in that)
III) Although I love the patrons, I have repeatedly said "This job would be great if it wasn't for the patrons."

This book reminded me of the many patrons who left me shaking my head (in both wonder and disgust). Two favorites include:
- The man w...more I loved this book. Why? Because
A) I thought library school was the biggest waste of my time and money and will tell it to anyone who will listen
2) I think librarians by and large are the most socially defunct group of people (I may be included in that)
III) Although I love the patrons, I have repeatedly said "This job would be great if it wasn't for the patrons."

This book reminded me of the many patrons who left me shaking my head (in both wonder and disgust). Two favorites include:
- The man who handed me a picture of a couch and said "I need to email this to my daughter." He did not want me to scan it (we didn't have a scanner nor had he ever heard of one); he wanted me to somehow (with magic, I assume) get that picture onto one of his 30 flash drives (that itself is a long story) and attach it to an email. (He demonstrated this want by banging the picture and the flashdrives together and saying "But can't you just like get it on here?")
- The man who approached the children's circulation desk and announced "I am looking for something educational for my kids." I initially thought of applauding because, well, he had found the right place. Instead I lamely replied "You mean like books... like to read?" (Yes, I have one of them there MLIS degrees and yes, it is the dumbest patrons that make you, the librarian, appear to be the mentally deficient one). He was, in fact, looking for books, like to read.

And, of course, there are the library employees who are worse than worst patrons. There are the bun heads, the racists, and the bitter ol' hens who make what seems like the most boring job in the world riddled with more drama than LC and Heidi at the same club opening (see--librarians are hip; I so know what The Hills is all about).

Most of all, this book really made me miss my favorite coworkers at HWML (favorite being the ones who didn't hate me).

Disclaimer (added many days later): Not ALL librarians are either bun heads, racists, or bitter ol' hens. The clerks are too. No, but seriously, there are many, many wonderful librarians out there but it's the crazies that make for good story. And yes library school was a waste of time. Theory does not equate practice, and as Douglas pointed out in his book, there should be more internships and practicums instead of lecture, lecture, lecture. Either you're good at what you do or you aren't. Logging endless classroom hours isn't going to change that. Out of my 36 MLIS credits, 12 of them were useful and applicable to actual librarian work.(less)

14 likes · like · see review

Apr 07, 2008 Greg rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography, libraries

A review where I find I'm writing more about myself than the book at hand, only because the farther along I read in the book the more I saw myself in the book -- which might not be the best way of reading a memoir.

When I first came across this book I thought 'oh cool - a book about being a librarian', then I thought it will be nice in the biography section with the other book that came out a few months ago about being a librarian, and I'll mean to read it and probably not, or at least until it c...more A review where I find I'm writing more about myself than the book at hand, only because the farther along I read in the book the more I saw myself in the book -- which might not be the best way of reading a memoir.

When I first came across this book I thought 'oh cool - a book about being a librarian', then I thought it will be nice in the biography section with the other book that came out a few months ago about being a librarian, and I'll mean to read it and probably not, or at least until it comes out in paperback, and then maybe still forget about it. Then though I happened to open the book up to an early page and noticed first footnotes (and not that I would phrase it as a man-crush like the author does, I will admit being a complete sucker for David Foster Wallace (and Thomas Pynchon, but not Mark Twain who I avoid like the plague because of a horrible first experience with him at the hands of an incompetent English teacher)), which (I'm back on footnotes here) are an instant selling point to me and on the same page the story about trying to impress a librarian by reading Thomas Pynchon, only to find out the librarian thinks Pynchon is maybe some actor in a Julia Roberts movie. That's all I needed to see, the book went right on top of my to buy pile of books and actually made it out of the to buy pile in the first week it was there (no little feat let me tell you, books can live in that pile for quite awhile).
Parts of the book were a little disheartening, since I'm currently enrolled in Library School, and hearing some of the bad things about being a librarian, and the way he questioned his decision to become one and stuff, but as the book went on I found myself seeing that it's not so bad, and that a lot of the humorous horror stories he's relating could be lifted out of my own experiences working at the bookstore, with maybe a few little details changed (for example, he has a patron come up and tell him there is a man sleeping in a restroom stall, I had a woman come up to me and tell me there was a woman scratching her skin off in the ladies room, or perverts jerking off on the computers compared to some guy blowing his wad on a woman's leather jacket (while she was wearing it) in the Woman's Study aisle). Besides taking an amused solace in similar kinds of experience I also loved reading his short tales of going to Library School. I was also happy to find out that there is some kind of web-page out there for Librarians with Tattoos, it's nice to know that in the future I could belong to something bigger than myself.
I found the book to be overall really enjoyable, I'd recommend it to people, especially people who don't work in places where the homeless and crazy come to spend their days just for the wonderfully bizarre tales they bring with them.
Good stuff. (less)

10 likes · like · see review

May 23, 2008 Carly rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: complete jerks

A narcissist tells stories about working in the public library - not a good match between job and personality. If only there were a 0 stars rating.

If you want to read a book about working the public library, try Free For All: Oddballs, Geeks & Gangstas in the Public Library by Borchert. Borchert is funny and also has an ounce of compassion for his fellow man.

15 likes · like · see review

Sep 22, 2010 Rita Meade rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

Let me preface this by saying that in no way do I consider myself to be a perfect librarian. On a bad day, you might hear me complain about a difficult patron or a frustrating encounter with a co-worker. I can be impatient and annoyed and upset. More often than not, however, you will hear me sing the praises of my job and the endearingly wacky people I encounter on a daily basis. Honestly, if I ever appear as mean-spirited or bitter as Douglas does in this book, feel free to revoke my MLS degree...more

16 likes · like · see review

Sep 06, 2008 Trin rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: booksaboutbooks, biography, american-lit

Supposedly a memoir about Douglas’ work as a public librarian, this book is actually about how Douglas is smart and sane, while everyone else who works at or comes into the library is crazy and dumb. My god: rarely have I read a memoir where the author comes off as more of a pretentious ass. If Douglas were funny it might work, but instead he’s just mean. And not even honestly mean: he keeps trying to turn his mocking into little lessons about the importance of community, or “covering” a chapter...more

19 likes · like · see review

Apr 03, 2008 Jen rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: book-a-week-project, non-fiction

Check out my review at http://bookaweekwithjen.blogspot.com/...

4 likes · like · see review

May 07, 2008 Grace rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Employees at my library system, or at any library

Scott Douglas is brilliant! And he is, at the same time, just a regular guy. As a 5-year library employee (who would like to eventually get her Masters, but has to wait for financial reasons for a few years more), I could relate to so many of his stories, both of crazy patrons, and intra-office drama/gossip. His unique perspective of having worked at both a smaller and larger library ensures that librarians of all sorts will be able to relate to something in his book. For me, it was his old (fir...more Scott Douglas is brilliant! And he is, at the same time, just a regular guy. As a 5-year library employee (who would like to eventually get her Masters, but has to wait for financial reasons for a few years more), I could relate to so many of his stories, both of crazy patrons, and intra-office drama/gossip. His unique perspective of having worked at both a smaller and larger library ensures that librarians of all sorts will be able to relate to something in his book. For me, it was his old (first) work building...the one with mold on the ceilings and a regular list of eclectic patrons coming in the door.

But this book really succeeds in that it is not just a cynical tell-all of all the insane things library employees have to put up with (my personal list, by the way, includes maggots in the binding of a book, being asked by a patron if he could body paint me, a patron who once printed out 100 sheets of paper with the simple internet query "how you put in PC at home" at the top of a search engine page, and so the list goes on). Scott's book is also, more importantly, the narration of an epic quest. The quest is one to find one's place in the working world, and to find satisfaction in one's job. Throughout the book, he questions whether library work is something he really WANTS to do, or something he merely has ended up doing. In the end, he finds a peace and resolution with his role as a librarian that seems to satisfy both him, and the reader (some of which have asked...or are currently asking...themselves the same question).

Two stories in this book especially moved me. The first was about a young handicapped patron and a Christmas gift, and the second was Scott's description of the closing of his old library. Throughout the book, he drives home the fact that as library employees, we are public servants, but for some reason, his description of standing alone in an empty building that had so many memories, and how when the patrons were gone, it was no longer a library at all...that was the story that drove home the fact to me the most.

High recommended to all of my fellow library employees on Good Reads. Stick your name on hold for it...you won't regret it!!!(less)

3 likes · like · see review

Jan 27, 2008 Steve rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: abawi3

God damn this is a good book. As an ex-library worker I might be biased, but this book is so funny, and smart and sincere.

Scott Douglas is relatable. We like the same things, and we're enraged by the same things. If we hung out, we'd probably drink wine and talk about our favorite movie librarians (mine would have to be Andy Dufresne in the Shawshank Redemption, I'd imagine his would be Parker Posey's Mary in Party Girl, because who doesn't love her? (this is of course eliminating Sylvia Marpol...more

3 likes · like · see review

Apr 29, 2008 Anne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Every so often I get a nagging feeling that I should have become a librarian. Many thanks to Scott Douglas for an engaging behind-the-stacks look at this career. He is clearly meant to be a librarian, though he sort of wrestles with that notion, and I am clearly not, as I learned through reading this book. Librarians, Douglas points out, don't just sit around reading and revering books and dispensing knowledge; they also serve the public, and, well, I really can't deal with the public. Douglas s...more

3 likes · like · see review

Feb 25, 2008 Roland rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: librarians, library technicians, library assistants, library clerks, library pages, library aides

Recommended to Roland by: Scott, obviously

A great story about one man's quest to...work in a library. Much better than that other piece of crap library book on the market, which is the equivalent of listening to a cranky old man bitch about his job for a few hundred pages.

Oh, and my being in the book in no way colors my review of it.

3 likes · like · see review

Dec 28, 2008 Neil rated it 2 of 5 stars

Is this what working in a library is like? Well yes and no. Every library is different and from what I've seen in my time in the profession, every library worker's experience of the library is different. Mr. Douglas, whether through his own mentality or through exaggerations meant to obtain what he thought would be a funny book, seems to see librarianship as long stretches of boredom punctuated by encounters with crazy patrons and co-workers. It's one legitimate experience of the library, one th...more Is this what working in a library is like? Well yes and no. Every library is different and from what I've seen in my time in the profession, every library worker's experience of the library is different. Mr. Douglas, whether through his own mentality or through exaggerations meant to obtain what he thought would be a funny book, seems to see librarianship as long stretches of boredom punctuated by encounters with crazy patrons and co-workers. It's one legitimate experience of the library, one that is true-to-life for many who work in libraries. There are many difficult encounters with wacky, annoying, or simply sad people in the library. Everyone who works there has bad days and I've seen many get bogged down permanently in their obsession with that part of the job.

But for others, library work remains continually engaging. Whether it's pride in creating a great local institution, the pleasure of providing good service, or an ongoing love of getting to work with books and other collections every day and introduce these materials to others, many who work in libraries find the job continually sustaining.

If Douglas was funnier, or a better writer, this could still be a good book, but there are glaring problems. His use of footnotes for material that should be written into the text is annoying in the extreme, the equivalent of a drummer's rimshot to try to milk a laugh out of comic material that isn't particularly funny.

Two of the writer's personal traits annoy me too. One is the tendency to slam co-workers and patrons with cheap shots, then try to leaven the cruelty by proclaiming "I really liked them." I suspect this appreciation for the foibles of the people he met in the library is in some cases genuine, but his writing rarely shows the upsides that he appreciated, just his displeasure at what he didn't like about them.

What makes me really crazy is Douglas's own laziness, and how he never realizes how this creates most of his negative experiences. He admits that he spends most of his time off desk doing nothing and acts as if this is normal for the profession. As a hardworking librarian, that makes me angry. I don't want the job I love degraded by someone who practices it badly. As in almost any profession, one can find ways to coast, but there is no end of work to be done in a library. Those who can't find any of it ought to be fired. Even at the desk, which Douglas claims is his favorite part of the job, he seems prone to vaguely pointing in a direction or mumbling a Dewey number when asked a question. That's crummy service and I hope it isn't really typical of his work.

There's also no arc to this story. Douglas is unhappy with his job but doesn't really want to leave it. It seems like he is working toward some epiphany about his job, but instead, he finds a girlfriend and that makes him happy. It doesn't have much to do with everything that bothers him about his job or his life, it just provides him with a distraction. I couldn't help but think that his career, his relationship, or both are in trouble when this new distraction becomes less new.

Finally, I'm bothered by the author's absolute dismissal of library school. My library school experience was good, but like any other educational opportunity, you get out of it what you put into it. There were classes that didn't apply much to what I do now, but others were excellent. Most were somewhere in the middle, and I worked to make them relevant by thinking about the theory and figuring out how I would apply it in practice. Douglas should have tried the same. I have co-workers who have the same gripes as Douglas about the MLS degree, but I can't help but notice that they are generally less effective as librarians as those who have more mixed reviews of their schooling. I don't think it's a coincidence. Douglas ought to be a little more thankful that people are working to provide advanced education and set professional standards so he can make a living in the career he has chosen. Instead, this book is a wonderful argument for why shoddy librarians could be replaced by untrained part-time workers.

This isn't completely unreadable. There are flickers of insight and compassion. I suspect Douglas is a better librarian than this book indicates, that he is trying to portray himself self-deprecatingly to achieve laughs. But it just doesn't quite work and he comes off more as lazy and thoughtless. It also demonstrates the problems with trying to turn a blog into a book. What narrative structure there is here seems like it was imposed as an afterthought.

In the end though, I hope this book is not taken as the only version of librarianship by those who don't work in libraries. I hope it isn't taken as an excuse by lousy librarians to do their job even more poorly. If you thought this book was great and you work in a library or are thinking about working in a library, please consider another career.(less)

4 likes · like · see review

Jun 10, 2008 Mary Jo added it

Quiet Please: Dispatches from a Public Librarian held such promise, the initial flip through the pages had me wanting more, it seemed so clever really the way the chapters were set up, the funny little footnotes~ until one actually sat down to read it word for word. What was initially taken as clever and insightful was actually a very sad account of someone who is clearly in the wrong profession. In all fairness to the author and the book I had to apply book club rules - read the first 50 pages...more

3 likes · like · see review

Apr 13, 2008 Jenny rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: all of my librarian friends

Shelves: librarian-nonfiction

It is shocking how many similar our library stories are. The most notable one is when he tells a co-worker that it's a small library and sometimes you have do things that aren't in your job description. I have two co-workers that like using the phrase "But it's not in my job description." Finally my boss printed out their job descriptions and most of the stuff they weren't doing was in fact in their job description. Plus we do work at a very small branch.

Another thing is I, like Scott, also som...more

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Mar 19, 2009 Khaya rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: People with a sense of humor seeking an inside scoop into the library

Recommended to Khaya by: margueya

Shelves: humorous-or-trying-to-be, memoirs, should-ve-been-shorter

This book, a memoir about working as a public librarian, was readable, often funny, and usually interesting though occasionally tedious and repetitive. What was actually more interesting than reading this book, though, was reading the range of goodreads reviews. People loved it, hated it, and fell in the middle.

Reading the reviews of this book was actually reminiscent of reading the trails of comments following particularly snarky reviews of popular books on goodreads. I read a lot of these revi...more This book, a memoir about working as a public librarian, was readable, often funny, and usually interesting though occasionally tedious and repetitive. What was actually more interesting than reading this book, though, was reading the range of goodreads reviews. People loved it, hated it, and fell in the middle.

Reading the reviews of this book was actually reminiscent of reading the trails of comments following particularly snarky reviews of popular books on goodreads. I read a lot of these reviews and comments, and I often find these long, drawn-out arguments between commentors saying things like, “You go, girl – I hated this book too!” vs. other commentors saying things like, “You’re obviously one hell of a snob; you think you’re better than everyone else and how dare you insult this precious work of literature?” and then a few saying, “Lighten up, people – I didn’t think the book was that bad, but she’s entitled to her opinion.” Goodreads reviewers’ reactions to this book and its author spanned a similar spectrum.

What seems to have evoked a particularly strong reaction was Scott’s biting and irreverent tone – unexpected and kind of incongruous in a memoir about working as a public librarian. While some reviewers thought it was hysterical, lots of others felt it was overly cynical and bitter and that Scott was clearly in the wrong job. My personal reaction to his tone was that I enjoyed his humor overall, although it got old and repetitive at times. I disagree with the assumption that Scott hates his job; I was often touched by some of his anecdotes which emphasized the “love” aspect of Scott’s love-hate relationship with public service. Although a lot of weight is given to crazy library staff and crazier patrons, Scott also describes his personal growth in the job, and his actually (dare I say it?) idealistic and inspiring insights into the varied and sometimes surprising community needs that libraries try to fill. I did not feel that his reaction to his job was one-dimensional, which was one of the things that kept me reading.

I had mixed feelings about the frequent footnotes – that was a cute device at first which eventually became tiresome. I did enjoy the library history and other trivia asides. They broke up the book for me, and were often surprisingly interesting. The Acknowledgements section was also great.

With all its positive aspects, the book was a little too long for me which was why I came down on the side of 3 stars rather than 4. By p. 200 I was already a little tired of reading it and feeling like, okay, I got the point and I’m ready to move on to a different book. Unfortunately, I still had 120-odd pages to go at that point. Oddly, though, every time I sighed and picked the book up hoping to just finish it already, I found myself immediately immersed once again and turning pages rapidly.

All in all, I would recommend this book to most people seeking a light, funny, and interesting read about an unexpected but highly relevant topic. After all, presumably we goodreads readers love books, and what lover of books doesn’t love the library? (less)

3 likes · like · see review

Jun 16, 2008 Hope rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: library-stuff, non-fiction

This is taking forever to read because, well, as much as I wanted to like it, it just isn't very good. I am abandoning it for now - too much else to read that is actually worth reading.

3 likes · like · see review

Dec 17, 2008 John rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: library_books, bio-and-memoir

Folks seem to have either loved the book, or hated it. Me, I fall in between.
Started out great with pieces on how the author came to become a librarian, including (the irrelevance of) library school. After that, the entries vary from gossipy, regarding patrons and co-workers, to meaningless (to me anyway) fake interviews. Good intentions, but the parts don't make a whole. Sometimes blogs are best left as blogs.
I really wish I'd heard more about the job itself, beyond office politics and the occa...more

1 like · like · see review

Aug 22, 2008 Alisa rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: No one

Shelves: non-fiction

I expected to like this. He's a librarian, I'm a librarian, and the few excerpts I'd read sounded like he had some interesting crazy patrons stories.

But in fact I hated it. I *forced* myself to read to page 156, and then skimmed through the rest in about 5 minutes. The problem is, the author is a pretentious jerk. And while I'm happy to read a book by a jerk if he makes me laugh, this guy is also not funny in any way, which is a huge problem in a book that doesn't have anything else going for it...more

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May 06, 2008 marg rated it 4 of 5 stars

I loved, loved LOVED this book. I picked it up totally randomly at a book store (!) while waiting for the bus after eyeing it a few times - it looked sort of interesting, then I skimmed it and was hooked.
This is an annecdotal memoir of a man's experience or sort of coming of age in, of all places, the library as he climbs the library ladder to become a librarian. In short, it is hysterically funny as well as touching and insightful.
There were so many amazing lines that made me stop and laugh out...more

2 likes · like · see review

May 05, 2008 Julie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Julie by: Anne Flounders

Shelves: non-fiction

As a current library student, this book left me with the sinking feeling that all my time as a librarian would be spent fighting off the world's most undesirable humans, who also happen to be the most common library patrons. I clung desperately to Douglas' bright spots, mostly about how he does feel like librarianism is the profession for him (despite the lunatics, and the coworkers). Most inspiring (and most in line with my thoughts as a future librarian) was the description in the epilogue of...more

1 like · like · see review

May 04, 2008 Marie rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: librarians and anybody who thinks we all sit around reading books all day

Point one: it seems that my favorite books all make liberal use of footnotes: Terry Pratchett's oeuvre, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, even The Mezzanine.

Point two: I think I will force a copy into the hands of any patron who dares utter some variation on the theme "so this must be such a lovely, quiet job, getting to sit around and read all day."

Point three: I'm going to make my mother read it immediately so as to judge its effect on non-librarians. Will she laugh? Will she cry? Will she onl...more

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May 09, 2008 Debra rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone considering a career in librarianship, any librarian, and any library user

Recommended to Debra by: review in USA today

Shelves: nonfiction, biography-memoir, libraries

I've worked for 29 years in libraries 2,000 miles from Anaheim -- but Scott has captured the highs and lows so well. Nothing is more satisfying than making a room full of children laugh and love a book you've introduced to them. Or tracking down an obscure answer to an impossible question. Or getting to know wonderful patrons. Librarianship is fun.

But then there are the nasty patrons of all stripes. The endless stream of meetings and committees. The days that I try to find another career.

I parti...more

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Aug 21, 2009 Tom Mueller rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

It's very refreshing to read of what Librarianship is - for me - truly about; people. Douglas relates tales of his library as it really is. Some tales are funny, some heart-wrenching, all have the ring of truth, with the focus always on people.
I can envision some of those I've worked with in his characters (coworkers).

1 like · like · see review

Jan 19, 2009 Penny rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 50-book-challenge-2009

Homophobic, fat-hating, unlikeable, but he had some interesting points about libraries. Too bad he was a giant dick.

5 likes · like · see review

Mar 13, 2009 meg rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographically-inclined, library-related

the more i think about this book the more maddening it is. call me a newbie, but i actually think librarianship is worthy and rewarding profession. this felt like it was written by someone who says condescending things like "you mean you have to go to SCHOOL to be a librarian?!" instead of an actual librarian who should know better. if you don't like your job, man up and get a new one instead of making fun of it, your coworkers, and your patrons to make some money. a few good parts didn't make u...more

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Aug 31, 2012 Cheryl/Aradanryl rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Cheryl/Aradanryl by: Barnes & Noble Free Nook Book

Shelves: non-fiction, library, in-nook, nook-freebie

This short book is basically a series of idle thoughts in no particular order. Definitely tongue in cheek and while I found them humorous at times, it may not strike academic or public librarians the same way.

Some favorites include Dispatch 33-Not Posted Rules of the Library; Aimee Bender is Evil; and Nicholson Baker is a big fat idiot. Just for the record I don't know who Aimee Bender or Nicholson Baker is but clearly some California librarians do and after reading the articles, I was tempted...more

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Jul 25, 2010 Karin rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, librarians, libraries, public-libraries, reference, borrowed-from-the-library

Scott Douglas is a reference librarian at the Anaheim Public Library and he’s been chronicling his days as a librarian for McSweeney’s (website) since 2003. He started off as a page and got hooked; his life has never been the same. Other librarians (especially in public library settings) will recognize the trials and tribulations (and joys and exaltations) of librarianship as Douglas describes the patrons he serves, the problems he encounters, and the occasional rapturous moments where he really...more

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Jul 21, 2009 Naomi rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people who like reading funny bitter people, and don't mind hating the author/protagonist.

Recommended to Naomi by: McSweeneys

Shelves: non-fiction, essays

I would have given this a three-star, since it was mostly pretty amusing, except that every couple of pages, Douglas has to remind us that he's racist, sexist, homophobic, and full of antipathy toward the elderly and the mentally challenged. And toward teenagers, but hey, who doesn't hate teenagers? (The guy's twenty-eight. He was in his early twenties when he started working at libraries. How can an early-twenty-year-old hate teens so much?) He keeps writing "What can I say? I'm a jerk!" as tho...more

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Jun 17, 2009 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs, non-fiction

A quick interesting read. I spent the summer after I graduated high school as a lowly library page, and I can definitely see the validity in all the characters Douglas describes. My second day in, a homeless man had crashed naked through the library windows and wandered aimlessly around the first floor until someone called the police. Honest to God. It's events like those that are just too strange to be believed, so for anyone who doubts the anecedotes that Douglas offers...believe me...it is 99...more

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Mar 25, 2010 Lindsay rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, worst-books-ever

Honestly one of the worst books I've read in a really long time. It started out okay, and it looked promising, but:

#1 His characters are so flat and one dimensional and caricatures of themselves. He even says that they are exaggerated to be funnier, which really doesn't work. In fact, when you make the characters look like they have absolutely no personality except to be a stupid, lazy, bitch, it really doesn't make me want to keep reading about them. This goes for the narrator as well.

#2 The en...more

1 like · like · see review

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Quiet Please vs. Free for All	2	87	Dec 21, 2008 01:07pm
Library-Themed Short Story	1	13	Jun 05, 2008 12:13pm
The Times Review of "Quiet, Please"	1	55	May 23, 2008 03:40pm
Metro Spirit	1	8	Apr 30, 2008 10:04pm
The Scotsman Review	1	8	Apr 20, 2008 12:19pm
LA Times Book Review (Discovery)	1	7	Apr 20, 2008 12:18pm
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Science > Library Science

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Quotes from Quiet, Please: Dispatc...

“There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say that smell is asbestos. ” — 42 people liked it

“I am convinced that grandkids are inherently evil people who tell their grandparents to "just go to the library and open up an e-mail account - it's free and so simple.” — 31 people liked it

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title link	preview: Quiet, Please: Dispatches From A Public Librarian
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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2045458.Quiet_Please?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1328808083l/2045458.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2045458.Quiet_Please?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Quiet, Please: Dispatches From A Public Librarian by Scott Douglas[/url]

Quiet, Please: Dispatches From A Public Librarian

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