Quiet, Please

by Scott Douglas (Goodreads author!)

published	March 24th 2008 by Da Capo Press
binding	Hardcover
isbn	0786720913 (isbn13: 9780786720910)
pages	320
description	An unexpectedly raucous and illuminating memoir set in a Southern California public library. For most of us, librarians are the quiet people behin...more [close] An unexpectedly raucous and illuminating memoir set in a Southern California public library. For most of us, librarians are the quiet people behind the desk, who, apart from the occasional "shush," vanish into the background. But in Quiet, Please, McSweeney's contributor Scott Douglas puts the quirky caretakers of our literature front and center. With a keen eye for the absurd and a Kesey-esque cast of characters (witness the librarian who is sure Thomas Pynchon is Julia Roberts's latest flame), Douglas takes us where few readers have gone before. Punctuated by his own highly subjective research into library history--from Andrew Carnegie's Gilded Age to today's Afghanistan--Douglas gives us a surprising (and sometimes hilarious) look at the lives which make up the social institution that is his library. [close]
date added	10-16-07 edit book

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Greg rated it:

04/07/08

bookshelves: biography, libraries

Read in April, 2008

A review where I find I'm writing more about myself than the book at hand, only because the farther along I read in the book the more I saw myself in the book -- which might not be the best way of reading a memoir.

When I first came across this book I thought 'oh cool - a book about being a librarian', then I thought it will be nice in the biography section with the other book that came out a few months ago about being a librarian, and I'll mean to read it and probably not, or at least until ...more A review where I find I'm writing more about myself than the book at hand, only because the farther along I read in the book the more I saw myself in the book -- which might not be the best way of reading a memoir.

When I first came across this book I thought 'oh cool - a book about being a librarian', then I thought it will be nice in the biography section with the other book that came out a few months ago about being a librarian, and I'll mean to read it and probably not, or at least until it comes out in paperback, and then maybe still forget about it. Then though I happened to open the book up to an early page and noticed first footnotes (and not that I would phrase it as a man-crush like the author does, I will admit being a complete sucker for David Foster Wallace (and Thomas Pynchon, but not Mark Twain who I avoid like the plague because of a horrible first experience with him at the hands of an incompetent English teacher)), which (I'm back on footnotes here) are an instant selling point to me and on the same page the story about trying to impress a librarian by reading Thomas Pynchon, only to find out the librarian thinks Pynchon is maybe some actor in a Julia Roberts movie. That's all I needed to see, the book went right on top of my to buy pile of books and actually made it out of the to buy pile in the first week it was there (no little feat let me tell you, books can live in that pile for quite awhile).
Parts of the book were a little disheartening, since I'm currently enrolled in Library School, and hearing some of the bad things about being a librarian, and the way he questioned his decision to become one and stuff, but as the book went on I found myself seeing that it's not so bad, and that a lot of the humorous horror stories he's relating could be lifted out of my own experiences working at the bookstore, with maybe a few little details changed (for example, he has a patron come up and tell him there is a man sleeping in a restroom stall, I had a woman come up to me and tell me there was a woman scratching her skin off in the ladies room, or perverts jerking off on the computers compared to some guy blowing his wad on a woman's leather jacket (while she was wearing it) in the Woman's Study aisle). Besides taking an amused solace in similar kinds of experience I also loved reading his short tales of going to Library School. I was also happy to find out that there is some kind of web-page out there for Librarians with Tattoos, it's nice to know that in the future I could belong to something bigger than myself.
I found the book to be overall really enjoyable, I'd recommend it to people, especially people who don't work in places where the homeless and crazy come to spend their days just for the wonderfully bizarre tales they bring with them.
Good stuff. ...less

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Suzanne rated it:

06/23/08

bookshelves: adult-nonfiction

I loved this book. Why? Because
A) I thought library school was the biggest waste of my time and money and will tell it to anyone who will listen
2) I think librarians by and large are the most socially defunct group of people (I may be included in that)
III) Although I love the patrons, I have repeatedly said "This job would be great if it wasn't for the patrons."

This book reminded me of the many patrons who left me shaking my head (in both wonder and disgust). Two favorites ...more I loved this book. Why? Because
A) I thought library school was the biggest waste of my time and money and will tell it to anyone who will listen
2) I think librarians by and large are the most socially defunct group of people (I may be included in that)
III) Although I love the patrons, I have repeatedly said "This job would be great if it wasn't for the patrons."

This book reminded me of the many patrons who left me shaking my head (in both wonder and disgust). Two favorites include:
- The man who handed me a picture of a couch and said "I need to email this to my daughter." He did not want me to scan it (we didn't have a scanner nor had he ever heard of one); he wanted me to somehow (with magic, I assume) get that picture onto one of his 30 flash drives (that itself is a long story) and attach it to an email. (He demonstrated this want by banging the picture and the flashdrives together and saying "But can't you just like get it on here?")
- The man who approached the children's circulation desk and announced "I am looking for something educational for my kids." I initially thought of applauding because, well, he had found the right place. Instead I lamely replied "You mean like books... like to read?" (Yes, I have one of them there MLIS degrees and yes, it is the dumbest patrons that make you, the librarian, appear to be the mentally deficient one). He was, in fact, looking for books, like to read.

And, of course, there are the library employees who are worse than worst patrons. There are the bun heads, the racists, and the bitter ol' hens who make what seems like the most boring job in the world riddled with more drama than LC and Heidi at the same club opening (see--librarians are hip; I so know what The Hills is all about).

Most of all, this book really made me miss my favorite coworkers at HWML (favorite being the ones who didn't hate me).

Disclaimer (added many days later): Not ALL librarians are either bun heads, racists, or bitter ol' hens. The clerks are too. No, but seriously, there are many, many wonderful librarians out there but it's the crazies that make for good story. And yes library school was a waste of time. Theory does not equate practice, and as Douglas pointed out in his book, there should be more internships and practicums instead of lecture, lecture, lecture. Either you're good at what you do or you aren't. Logging endless classroom hours isn't going to change that. Out of my 36 MLIS credits, 12 of them were useful and applicable to actual librarian work....less

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Kara rated it:

07/15/08

bookshelves: funnies-, weird-topics

Read in July, 2008

recommends it for: Anyone who wants to know what being a librarian is really like

As a Young Adult Librarian, I both love and hate this book. What makes librarianship is the patrons, the author has that right. The patrons, whether mean, rude, nice or crazy make the day interesting, and are ultimately who you are serving as a librarian. It's wonderful to connect them to the information they need, from a kid doing a report on steroids to someone needing info on how to sue the aliens that keep illegally entering his home and taking his stuff back to their space ship for testing...more As a Young Adult Librarian, I both love and hate this book. What makes librarianship is the patrons, the author has that right. The patrons, whether mean, rude, nice or crazy make the day interesting, and are ultimately who you are serving as a librarian. It's wonderful to connect them to the information they need, from a kid doing a report on steroids to someone needing info on how to sue the aliens that keep illegally entering his home and taking his stuff back to their space ship for testing.

But what really gets to me is his attitude toward librarians. For one, he seems to have endless time on his hands during work. What library does he work at? It's come to my attention that he probably doesn't do any book ordering/collection development. I, as well as my fellow librarians always have work to do and usually feel behind with all of the projects we are juggling. And what this society really does not need is negative press toward librarians, particularly untrue press.

We do not sit behind the desks playing Free Cell. And most of the librarians I know do read.That is infact one of the great perks of the job. How can you be expected to be a good librarian if you don't read? Especially as a reference librarian, or doing readers advisory, reading is essential.

And with Scott Douglas' attitude toward teens, I'm just thrilled he's not a Young Adult Librarian. No wonder a kid tried to hit him.

I am only half-way through the book at the moment.I can only hope that later on in the book once he gets his MLIS he stops playing Free Cell and does his job. I have to say I'm pretty appalled at the image of librarian's he is painting, and this is from a fellow librarian. This is not what we need as a profession and as a community.

Having now finished the book, I am still appalled by his description of the profession and attitude. However, his stories about what Librarians have to deal with are 100% accurate--from the angry crazy man who thinks the librarian stole his generator, the guy who sings whenever he flushes the toilet, the woman who thinks the government is stealing her print requests, to the man who thinks Satan talks to him only when he gets close to the librarian. Despite it all, the librarian serves the people--all the people. And Scott Douglas does do a great job of describing the different patrons that we as librarians and public servants deal with on a daily basis. ...less

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Sidhe rated it:

05/07/08

Read in May, 2008

recommends it for: Employees at my library system, or at any library

Scott Douglas is brilliant! And he is, at the same time, just a regular guy. As a 5-year library employee (who would like to eventually get her Masters, but has to wait for financial reasons for a few years more), I could relate to so many of his stories, both of crazy patrons, and intra-office drama/gossip. His unique perspective of having worked at both a smaller and larger library ensures that librarians of all sorts will be able to relate to something in his book. For me, it was his old ...more Scott Douglas is brilliant! And he is, at the same time, just a regular guy. As a 5-year library employee (who would like to eventually get her Masters, but has to wait for financial reasons for a few years more), I could relate to so many of his stories, both of crazy patrons, and intra-office drama/gossip. His unique perspective of having worked at both a smaller and larger library ensures that librarians of all sorts will be able to relate to something in his book. For me, it was his old (first) work building...the one with mold on the ceilings and a regular list of eclectic patrons coming in the door.

But this book really succeeds in that it is not just a cynical tell-all of all the insane things library employees have to put up with (my personal list, by the way, includes maggots in the binding of a book, being asked by a patron if he could body paint me, a patron who once printed out 100 sheets of paper with the simple internet query "how you put in PC at home" at the top of a search engine page, and so the list goes on). Scott's book is also, more importantly, the narration of an epic quest. The quest is one to find one's place in the working world, and to find satisfaction in one's job. Throughout the book, he questions whether library work is something he really WANTS to do, or something he merely has ended up doing. In the end, he finds a peace and resolution with his role as a librarian that seems to satisfy both him, and the reader (some of which have asked...or are currently asking...themselves the same question).

Two stories in this book especially moved me. The first was about a young handicapped patron and a Christmas gift, and the second was Scott's description of the closing of his old library. Throughout the book, he drives home the fact that as library employees, we are public servants, but for some reason, his description of standing alone in an empty building that had so many memories, and how when the patrons were gone, it was no longer a library at all...that was the story that drove home the fact to me the most.

High recommended to all of my fellow library employees on Good Reads. Stick your name on hold for it...you won't regret it!!!...less

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April rated it:

07/01/08

bookshelves: abandoned

Read in July, 2008

I tried. I really did. I really wanted to like this book but after a couple of weeks and only getting through a couple of chapters I have decided to abandon it. I wanted to like this because I am a librarian and it sounded fun. And it does have some interesting tidbits like the historical sidebars but the biggest problem I have with it is the negativity and it just doesn't let up by page 50. I cannot imagine being in this author's position and actually wanting to become a librarian. Maybe it's j...more

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margueya rated it:

05/06/08

I loved, loved LOVED this book. I picked it up totally randomly at a book store (!) while waiting for the bus after eyeing it a few times - it looked sort of interesting, then I skimmed it and was hooked.
This is an annecdotal memoir of a man's experience or sort of coming of age in, of all places, the library as he climbs the library ladder to become a librarian. In short, it is hysterically funny as well as touching and insightful.
There were so many amazing lines that made me stop and lau...more

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Mary Jo added it

06/10/08

Read in June, 2008

Quiet Please: Dispatches from a Public Librarian held such promise, the initial flip through the pages had me wanting more, it seemed so clever really the way the chapters were set up, the funny little footnotes~ until one actually sat down to read it word for word. What was initially taken as clever and insightful was actually a very sad account of someone who is clearly in the wrong profession. In all fairness to the author and the book I had to apply book club rules - read the first 50 pages ...more

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Jenny rated it:

04/13/08

Read in April, 2008

recommends it for: all of my librarian friends

It is shocking how many similar our library stories are. The most notable one is when he tells a co-worker that it's a small library and sometimes you have do things that aren't in your job description. I have two co-workers that like using the phrase "But it's not in my job description." Finally my boss printed out their job descriptions and most of the stuff they weren't doing was in fact in their job description. Plus we do work at a very small branch.

Another thing is I, like S...more

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Carrie rated it:

07/08/08

Read in May, 2008

recommends it for: other librarians, people considering library school, anyone who deals with the general public.

Scott Douglas is a writer for McSweeneys, and I've enjoyed his column about being a librarian for a couple years now http://mcsweeneys.net/links/li.... His list of items found in his library - with no commentary - has left me in stitches. So I was excited when his book about being a librarian came out. Although I enjoyed it, it wasn't as good as I hoped it would be. It tells the story of how he decided to become a librarian, wh...more

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Julie rated it:

05/05/08

Read in May, 2008

recommended to Julie by: Anne Flounders

As a current library student, this book left me with the sinking feeling that all my time as a librarian would be spent fighting off the world's most undesirable humans, who also happen to be the most common library patrons. I clung desperately to Douglas' bright spots, mostly about how he does feel like librarianism is the profession for him (despite the lunatics, and the coworkers). Most inspiring (and most in line with my thoughts as a future librarian) was the description in the epilogue of ...more

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Sarah rated it:

06/27/08

Read in June, 2008

Disappointing.

I had high expectations of this book. I hoped the author's observations about public librarianship and library school would be amusing or insightful. They were neither.

Some advice to Mr. Douglas:

* "Smelt" is not the past tense of the verb smell, and "desert" is not what comes at the end of a meal.
* Footnotes are a bold choice, and should be used only by those with the skill to pull it off. For good examples, please see Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell ...more

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Steve rated it:

01/27/08

bookshelves: abawi3

Read in February, 2008

God damn this is a good book. As an ex-library worker I might be biased, but this book is so funny, and smart and sincere.

Scott Douglas is relatable. We like the same things, and we're enraged by the same things. If we hung out, we'd probably drink wine and talk about our favorite movie librarians (mine would have to be Andy Dufresne in the Shawshank Redemption, I'd imagine his would be Parker Posey's Mary in Party Girl, because who doesn't love her? (this is of course eliminating Sylvi...more

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Marie rated it:

05/04/08

Read in May, 2008

recommends it for: librarians and anybody who thinks we all sit around reading books all day

Point one: it seems that my favorite books all make liberal use of footnotes: Terry Pratchett's oeuvre, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, even The Mezzanine.

Point two: I think I will force a copy into the hands of any patron who dares utter some variation on the theme "so this must be such a lovely, quiet job, getting to sit around and read all day."

Point three: I'm going to make my mother read it immediately so as to judge its effect on non-librarians. Will she l...more

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Debra rated it:

05/09/08

bookshelves: biography-memoir, libraries, nonfiction

Read in May, 2008

recommended to Debra by: review in USA today
recommends it for: anyone considering a career in librarianship, any librarian, and any library user

I've worked for 29 years in libraries 2,000 miles from Anaheim -- but Scott has captured the highs and lows so well. Nothing is more satisfying than making a room full of children laugh and love a book you've introduced to them. Or tracking down an obscure answer to an impossible question. Or getting to know wonderful patrons. Librarianship is fun.

But then there are the nasty patrons of all stripes. The endless stream of meetings and committees. The days that I try to find another caree...more

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Anne rated it:

04/29/08

Read in April, 2008

Every so often I get a nagging feeling that I should have become a librarian. Many thanks to Scott Douglas for an engaging behind-the-stacks look at this career. He is clearly meant to be a librarian, though he sort of wrestles with that notion, and I am clearly not, as I learned through reading this book. Librarians, Douglas points out, don't just sit around reading and revering books and dispensing knowledge; they also serve the public, and, well, I really can't deal with the public. Douglas s...more

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Michelle rated it:

05/25/08

bookshelves: non-fiction

When someone returned this book, I cleaned my glasses to get a closer look, read one page and I've been laughing ever since!I thought maybe I could find myself (this book covers the ridiculous to the sublime in the world of public libraries). But, alas, I was not in there. (Whew!) Although Scott Douglas paints a very derogatory picture of the staff and patrons of the public library, this book had me in stitches. The public library is a living and changing organism at this point in history. ...more

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Kasia rated it:

06/05/08

bookshelves: i-heart-libraries, memoir, non-fiction

Read in May, 2008

recommends it for: librarians and their fans.

I definitely recommend this book to people who are interested in public libraries, but my feelings are mixed. Scott Douglas is definitely a good writer and a funny guy. I would totally want to hang out with him if I knew him. But sometimes the story is less than compelling... I don't know if it is because his story is so similar to my own experiences or not. It seems like librarians are going to be the ones most interested in reading this kind of memoir, but also the ones who are going to alre...more

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Carly rated it:

05/23/08

Read in January, 2008

recommends it for: complete jerks

A narcissist tells stories about working in the public library - not a good match between job and personality. If only there were a 0 stars rating.

If you want to read a book about working the public library, try Free For All: Oddballs, Geeks & Gangstas in the Public Library by Borchert. Borchert is funny and also has an ounce of compassion for his fellow man.

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Amy rated it:

07/15/08

Read in July, 2008

Douglas' insightful, honest, and somewhat cynical memoir is not a "THIS-is-why-I'm-a-librarian", feel-good sort of work that I expected. However, he's a terrific writer, obviously super bright, and a geek that I'd be friends with. =) I do appreciate his use of endnotes, which brought me back to my grad school days. My favorite use of his endnotes is:

You can tell a lot from a man by his taste in women. 1

1. Female librarians are different; no one can read their minds.
...more

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Matt rated it:

07/07/08

Read in April, 2008

Read a little too much like a bad 80's sitcom. Most of the characters were written so over the top, it seemed like the author had to keep mentioning that the they weren't necessarily based on anyone he actually worked with.

He does come close to nailing several aspects of public librarianship, but ultimately I just couldn't stand him.

"This sucks and that sucks and this person is so stupid, but at the end of the day libraries are really important..." That basically sums up the t...more

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Quiet, Please

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