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Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me
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Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me

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3.34  ·  Rating Details ·  2,387 Ratings  ·  371 Reviews
Relationships end and even the most callow among us take something away. That's what this books is about - whether it be major life lessons, like 'If you lie, you will get caught', simple truths like, 'Flowers work', or something wholly unique like, 'Watch out for the high strung brother in the military'.
Hardcover, 223 pages
Published February 4th 2008 by Grand Central Publishing (first published February 1st 2008)
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(showing 1-30)
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Justin
Jan 19, 2008 Justin rated it it was ok
Anthologies can be kind of repetitive, with entry after entry harping on the same tired theme. The theme for Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me feels particularly uninspired, as the topic of men bitching about women is arguably the most prominent in the history of literature. But the credentials of editor Ben Karlin (co-editor of America: The Book) combined with the book’s impressive list of contributors (Andy Richter, Stephen Colbert, Neal Pollack, more) piqued my interest all the ...more
Chloe
Apr 08, 2009 Chloe rated it really liked it
I heard this in its Audiobook format, which probably led me to appreciate it more than I otherwise would have. Having each author read their short essay was perfect, especially with such instantly recognizable voices as Patton Oswalt, John Oliver and Will Forte. It's a very short read, even the audiobook was barely over three hours long, but one that will have you chuckling all the way. I particularly liked Dan Savage's ode to the vagina that scared him out of the closet and Larry Wilmore's "my ...more
Jennifer
Feb 07, 2008 Jennifer rated it it was amazing
Shelves: greatreads
I know what you're thinking and no I am not and was not a lesbian, not that there is anything at all wrong with that. I picked up this book at ye old Costco, simply because of some of the writers names on the cover: Nick Hornby, Stephen Colbert, Bob Odenkirk, Andy Richter, and Dan Savage, to name a few. Also, I secretly wanted to know what relationships were like for men. As a straight woman, you never can tell. Men are simple in their thoughts and emotions - NOT SIMPLETONS - just not as complex ...more
Hannah Messler
Dec 16, 2008 Hannah Messler rated it it was ok
Eh. I'd hoped this was going to be hilarious and insightful, but all the humor was pretty much the same thing all the way through--low-grade irony and drab self-flagellation. Buncha weinerdogs.
doreen
Feb 08, 2008 doreen rated it liked it
Recommends it for: single guy friends, or any guy friends in general
Shelves: memoir, collections
This is a great read. The writing from most of the contributors is funny, interesting and enjoyable; I think there was only maybe one or two works that were sort of "meh" for me. On the whole, I found myself very engaged in the writing, having finished this book in two days (I took a break to watch the first disc of Pee-Wee's Playhouse).

The formatting of each essay/anecdote differs, including comic-strip contributions and and illustration (Marcel Dzama!). My favourite entries include "Lesson #9:
...more
Valerie
Feb 10, 2008 Valerie rated it liked it
Shelves: short-stories
I was expecting much more from this book. Edited by Ben Karlin - former editor of The Onion, former executive producer of The Daily Show and co-creator of The Colbert Report - this book should have been a rip-roarin'-romp through male inadequacy and insecurity. It started out strong, but somewhere along the line it became the male version of chick lit: dick lit. And boring to boot.

At first, it was good for a few laughs. But then I laughed less. And got bored. And maybe started to skim a bit. And
...more
Anastacia
Dec 31, 2008 Anastacia rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Those who enjoy short stories, essays, humor.
Shelves: humor
This was one of the funniest books I have ever read, and it's one I will reach for many times to read again. A collection of humorous short stories by some of the funniest, wittiest men of our time, this is a book that never fails to cause me to laugh out loud until the end.

The book is a collection of essays written by hilarious men such as Nick Hornby, Stephen Colbert, Bob Odenkirk (who discusses why nine years is the perfect amount of time to be in a bad relationship ("by year nine you try eve
...more
Jamie Collins
Mar 01, 2009 Jamie Collins rated it it was ok
Shelves: humor
This is a pretty weak collection. I ended up skimming over several of these essays.

I expected better from Dan Savage (his books about his family are very good). David Wain's entry composed entirely of cellphone conversations was good. I also liked Patton Oswalt's essay where he explains how a past relationship with a crazy stripper puts his minor quibbles with his wife into perspective. And Ben Karlin's mom's forward was better than Karlin's essay.
Books Ring Mah Bell
done. chucklelicious. I was not sure who half these people were, very funny men. easy and quick. just like your mom.
Elevate Difference
Apr 18, 2009 Elevate Difference rated it liked it
I have a love/hate relationship with liberal publications, like the New York Times, that discuss progressive issues and at the same time print articles that seem to use stone age mentality to “prove” the differences between women and men. I am forever intrigued by science’s never-ending love affair with sexual dimorphism, and articles with the headlines “What Do Women Want?” and “Varying Sweat Scents Noted By Women” seem to fill the pages of publications every day.

I have a similar love/hate rel
...more
lp
Mar 03, 2009 lp rated it did not like it
Bad. Disappointing. And further evidence that Stephen Colbert is not funny in print. A piece by Patton Oswalt was quite amusing, in which he realizes how awesome his wife is particularly in comparing her to his ex-girlfriend (a terrible, violent, uneducated stripper.) Actually, now that I think about it, Damian of Kulash, Jr. (of OKGO) had a pretty sweet (as in aww) piece, and Adam Schlesinger (of Fountains of Wayne. I know.) did an interesting and humorous breakdown of a cheesy love song. Oh, a ...more
Kimberly Ann
Jan 25, 2016 Kimberly Ann rated it did not like it
Oy ve! Where did they get this many whack-jobs?

So, I want to tell you, these are Not the type of men I'd be with! They are in no way, shape or form even qualified as mensch. More like, schlemiel...clueless.

What's more is all of these guys are now the pride & joy of their mammalas! All are now very successful comedians! But did I find them funny, well not at all...... I'm thinking, that this book written by men is for men...because I honestly didn't get what they were talking about.....

Do I b
...more
Oriana
May 24, 2010 Oriana rated it liked it
Shelves: read-2010
Meh and meh and meh. This is pretty much what you'd expect -- a bunch of moderately clever dudes being self-deprecatingly funny -- except less funny than you'd hope. Despite a whole lot of filler, there are some some great moments, like when Andy Richter calls the people who run television networks a bunch of "gutless cunts" or when Dan Savage describes his first time putting his finger in a vagina as it feeling like "a large, lukewarm piece of lasagna with hair". David Rees is funny. Will Forte ...more
Patrick
Feb 08, 2008 Patrick rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2008
Really funny collection of essays, including, but not limited to: Bob Odenkirk's transcription of part of his seminar: "9 Years is Exactly the Right Amount of Time to be in a Bad Relationship," Stephen Colbert's would-be heart-warming story that is all but completely blacked out by his wife's marker to keep things private, Will Forte's reminiscence of a girlfriend who kept riding off on another guy's motorcycle but kept insisting they were "just friends," Patton Oswalt comparing his wife at her ...more
Kim
Mar 24, 2008 Kim rated it did not like it
Recommended to Kim by: found it on my own
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Marissa Morrison
Feb 17, 2008 Marissa Morrison rated it it was ok
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Amy
Apr 24, 2015 Amy rated it did not like it
My husband I listened to this on a car ride. We expected it to be a comedy, and while some of the short stories were humorous, overall, it was very disappointing. We didn't laugh, and we found ourselves skipping over most of the "chapters" because they were just crude and not funny. Very disappointed especially with all of the contributors.
Ciara
Jan 31, 2015 Ciara rated it liked it
**********2.8/5**********

luv it

hihi

It's something for us, girls, to read.
Katie
Feb 20, 2008 Katie rated it liked it
A collection of essays from male comedians and writers about dating, relationships and their issues with women. Some of the contributions were entertaining and others not so much. I laughed out loud a couple times, but not quite as often as I hoped. Overall a quick, light read with a little something fun for anyone who has ever dated anyone, ever.
Trevor
Feb 05, 2008 Trevor rated it liked it
Shelves: nonphixion
I was hoping for more laugh-out-loud stories, and while there were many smiles, I ended up feeling a little down -- these are stories wrought with insecurities, damages, and regrets written within plenty of self-deprecation -- It had me, and will have others (guys and girls), reflecting on past romances that left their psychological welts and fond memories behind.
Felicity
Jan 25, 2008 Felicity rated it did not like it
Eh.
I thought there was going to be something interesting or at least funny in this book. I really found neither.
clare
Apr 30, 2009 clare rated it liked it
At first I was like, "oh, how cute. Men are sensitive and insecure etc." Eventually I found myself thinking, "Where are your huevos?"
Chelsea
Jun 10, 2013 Chelsea rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great audio book, with essays read by the authors (very funny men, with some witty observations on dating -- usually unsuccessfully).
R.
Mar 03, 2008 R. rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2008
Highly recommend Paul Simms' "I'm Easy" which can be read at The New Yorker under the title "Four Short Crushes":

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2007/0...

Bradley
Feb 08, 2017 Bradley rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2017
Karlin has rounded up a great group of contributors for this collection of essays about unrequited love, failed marriages, awkward sex, childhood longing, and holding grudges. Contributors include Dan Savage, Stephen Colbert, Patton Oswalt, Will Forte, Larry Wilmore, and other great voices including comedians, songwriters, cartoonists, and columnists. With more than 30 essays, the stories told and lessons shared are relatable, funny, and sometimes tragic. However, what they all have in common is ...more
Sarah
Sep 30, 2016 Sarah rated it really liked it
This is book is hilarious. I got the audiobook version which featured every author reading their story. However, in place of Nick Hornby, the very funny John Oliver did his one along with his own very funny intro. Loved their cute anecdotes. Some were better than others, but I particularly enjoyed Will Forte's one. Might have to see what else he has done. Great for light fun reading about a man's dating perspective. Just what I needed!
Sara
Sep 22, 2016 Sara rated it it was ok
The title is so misleading. Going by the title alone, there was little evidence of much learned in the majority of the essays. Like others, I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt despite poor ratings from readers before me, because the collection of authors was just too good to pass up. Thanks to 3 essays, it went from 1 to 2 stars for me. I really, really enjoyed 2 and half essays in this collection. Just think of it as humor and not life lessons as you make your way to the one or two th ...more
Matt
Aug 01, 2016 Matt rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a quick, easy read for me, but I also am nowhere near dumpsville at present, so the gravity of the subject matter isn't pressing on me. But even if you have recently been dumped, this book is likely to cheer you up. My roommate, a recent dumpee, saw it sitting out and told me he enjoyed a few of the stories in it. The short stories and essays collected here are all funny but the humor varies from piece to piece. I enjoyed all of it, except for a few tired, bad jokes. Bob Odenkirk's exce ...more
Ross Vincent
Mar 07, 2014 Ross Vincent rated it it was amazing
Shelves: e-books-read
I don’t pretend to know my way with the fair sex- knowing that I am idiot and that they are in charge has made life SO much easier, at times. (Plus, it helps to have “Yes Dear” as a reflex response and well as being able to say “I’m sorry” and “You are right/ I was Wrong/ I should have listen to you”). Of course, given my history, there is a reason I have Ross Rule #63 (If a Woman is in love with me, there is a 75 – 90% chance that there is something unstable about them; finding that right minor ...more
Melissa
Jan 30, 2012 Melissa rated it liked it
It's kinda funny for me to have read a book that is explicitly written by only men, considering that I'm that woman you know who is always pointing out the often unnoticed absence of women in the arts -- particularly in humor!

I read it, though, because A) I seriously love me some Dan Savage and B) I guess I wanted to read something to convince me that men's hearts are as tender and squishy as women's. I'm still not sure I'm convinced of that second point. Can you imagine a book written by women
...more
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