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Eyeheart Everything

4.24 of 5 stars 4.24  ·  rating details  ·  75 ratings  ·  16 reviews
"Somewhere between the laughtrack of Mark Leyner's work and European surrealism, Hansen's stories shock, titillate, and bombard the reader with dark shards of comedy." - KEVIN SAMPSELL, author of Creamy Bullets
Paperback, 216 pages
Published November 1st 2010 by Mykle Systems Labs (first published March 1st 2000)
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(showing 1-30 of 236)
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a lot of this book is funny; humor is directed against things that i dislike in short-form bursts that can be read even while walking down the street. but there are less satire-y pieces that are just good writing, like uhf and the fun we tried to have. and then there are pieces that i think you have to be mykle hansen to understand; i get the feeling there are all sorts of references that are not for me. but its okay because the bits i do understand are well worth it.
Dec 06, 2008 Mykle rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  (Review from the author)
Recommends it for: People with hearts and/or eyes
My books are so awesome, I would give them six stars if only this option was available. so instead, I will give them five stars and then remove a star from every other book in Goodreads, using my magic h@xx0r powers. With these stars I will create a form of perfect inexhaustible energy, and then I will quit my job and eat waffles until bedtime.
I could go on and on about the stories that I loved in this collection- from the insane personal ads to the tale of the man who was born typing, the guys who trace a phone call with their television to the crazy Mykle Systems Labs advertisements urging the reader to send a dollar to what is presumably the author’s address in Portland- but that would be too easy. Instead, I’d like to focus on the afterward.

See, these stories were written by Mykle Hansen before he became famous. These were the thi...more
Mr. eggers you have egg on your face, how could you not have published the famous mykle hansen. Now he will get famous without you and you will be left behind whimpering in the corner because you simply have no sense of taste (I say this fully aware that I own several of the nonrequired reading books and love them dearly).

This book is like taking your really smart friend to the bar and then getting them super drunk and letting them talk about whatever they want.

It is like my best friend's imit...more
Steve Libbey
Apr 30, 2008 Steve Libbey rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: spiders
There could be this fight, and it could take place on the top of Mt. Everest, and Mykle Hansen would wear an orange cape and BEAT THE CRAP out of David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell with his superior funny. Then UFOs would cry and explode candy and TV shows would all be canceled.

Then he would hug them because they are actually quite witty as well, and the universe would congratulate itself on good taste.
Apr 30, 2008 heather rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: probably everyone
Recommended to heather by: Steve Libbey
Shelves: favorites
Mykle Hansen knows nothing about my raging crush on his prose. But it's seriously huge. So big that I've only humbled myself to write about it in hopes that other people will develop equally huge crushes on his prose and he will eventually rule the world. This book is tragicomedy at its most brilliant and risky. The stories switch styles, tenses and form with flouncy success. Eyeheart Everything is a discombobulating short-short fiction tangle of lightness and heaviness and the hypothetical and...more
I thought this book was mostly funny, but one story seemed to be a real story about driving half-drunk to the beach. When I next saw Mykle, I had to tell him that that type of behavior was not acceptable. But then it turned out that story was fiction, and I just don't understand funny anyway.

I should probably re-read it. In the years since I have last read it, I might have forgotten not to LICK EXPOSED WIRES.
This is a book of short-lived insanities - surreal stories that often fall somewhere between prose and poetry. Many of them are absolutely incredible. Others are just odd. Some speak deeply, some feign disinterest. It's a mixed bag, but the highs are so high and the lows so strange that it's worth picking up again and again.
Scribble Orca
Dec 19, 2010 Scribble Orca marked it as to-be-consideread
What can I say? I have to read this now, the author gave me the most mindblowingly AWESOME bad advice that his book would have to be an improvement.
There's three different types of short stories in this collection: random/surreal stories, stream of consciousness stories, and fake advertisements.

I have to say, I'm really not much of a fan of stream of consciousness. I find them to just be ranting, and nothing really interesting comes out of them. I don't know why.

The random stories cracked me up, and I honestly want to send a few to various friends. The story of the shark and bag of oranges was fantastic, as was the first story, about the wo...more
The stories in this book by Mykle Hansen are extremely funny. Even funnier is seeing him read them aloud. There are a few stories in here that are absolutely phenomenal, but they're all very good and, as I said, very FUNNY!
Steev Hise
Dec 15, 2007 Steev Hise rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone, especially peeps who want a glimpse into the lives of cool young portlanders
Shelves: politics
i love this book. i can't wait till mykle's new novel comes out, Help I'm Being Eaten By Bears! The podcast of him reading it is way fun.
Oct 09, 2007 missy rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: funny folks
Shelves: short-stories
mykle is a genius. he cracks me the hell up.
c.vance c.vance
like most compilations, it's hard to keep the quality up throughout the book.
but there are two great stories and a fair number of entertaining ones.... which brings up the overwhelming one star stories in the book.
I was disappointed with this collection of short stories. I really enjoyed Help! A Bear is Eating Me, but I did not enjoy this book. With the exception of a few stories, it all just seemed to like rambling.
Dave Adamshick
funny and odd book
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Mykle Hansen's inability to have a normal reaction is key to the popularity of his surreal fiction and neo-gonzo journalism. He is the author of the acclaimed short-story collection EYEHEART EVERYTHING, several dozen 'zines, a religious self-help column in the Portland Mercury, and over fifty thousand lines of Perl. HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! is his first novel. RAMPAGING FUCKERS OF EVERYTHING ON...more
More about Mykle Hansen...
HELP!  A Bear is Eating Me! Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere The Cannibal's Guide to Ethical Living Hooray for Death! I, Slutbot

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