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Brother and Sister

3.07 of 5 stars 3.07 · rating details · 705 ratings · 86 reviews

Brought up by the same parents, but born to two different mothers, Nathalie and David have grown up as brother and sister, and share a fierce loyalty. Their decision as adults to try to find their birth mothers is no straightforward matter. It affects, acutely and often painfully, their spouses and children, the people they work with, and, most poignantly, the two women wh...more

Paperback, 320 pages

Published April 11th 2005 by Bloomsbury USA (first published 2004)

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Jan 19, 2013 t.A rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: not-for-me, families

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I tried very hard not to hate this book, but it was difficult. I had trouble even finishing it, but I kept going, simply because I could tell that it was supposed to be a good book, just not a book that I was interested in.

Even though I paid less than a dollar for this book, it tried my patience. Every few chapters, I wanted to give up, and halfway through the book, I found that I wasn't so much reading as skimming, hoping to stumble upon something that would draw me back in. I found nothing. T...more I tried very hard not to hate this book, but it was difficult. I had trouble even finishing it, but I kept going, simply because I could tell that it was supposed to be a good book, just not a book that I was interested in.

Even though I paid less than a dollar for this book, it tried my patience. Every few chapters, I wanted to give up, and halfway through the book, I found that I wasn't so much reading as skimming, hoping to stumble upon something that would draw me back in. I found nothing. The characters, to me, were not quite likeable, in a way that I didn't understand what made them act the way they did and feel the way they did.

I can understand feeling a bit alienated, a bit insecure in your relationship, if suddenly you sense your partner pulling away and creating what you feel is a life where you have no place. But to feel insecure because your partner wants to learn about her past? To seek comfort in the arms of someone else rather than talk through your problems at home?

I can understand that the mother was in pain from not being able to have a child of her own, that she had put all her love into her adopted children -but, really? She didn't consider that at some point they would have questions about where they'd come from that she couldn't answer? For her to fall to pieces the way she did, I just couldn't understand how that was realistic. I know people who are adopted, I know people who have adopted, and thankfully they've all been much more understanding than what was portrayed in this book. I simply found too many of the characters to be utterly awful people whom I grew to hate more and more with every page.

The writing itself wasn't all bad. There were scenes that tried to help the reader understand certain aspects of the characters. Some of the imagery was good. But the pace just didn't keep me interested. The characters weren't people that I wanted to read about. It's not only so much that I didn't care what happened to them, but that I wasn't actually rooting for good things to happen to them.

I usually say that, while I might never read a book again, that I'm glad I at least read it once. Unfortunately, that is not true for this one. I can't think of anything I would have missed by passing this by. The blurb on the jacket made me think I might really enjoy this, but the potential was never realized. It saddens me greatly that this is a book that won't be sticking around on my bookshelf.
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May 28, 2011 Nancy rated it 2 of 5 stars

contrived but interesting exploration of the spectrum of reactions and ripples of adoption from two adopted siblings who look for their birthmothers as adults. the POV switches around so you get intimate with each birthmother and their families, the adopting parents, and the spouses, children and coworkers of the adopted brother and sister. she explains and analyzes the emotion explicitly, which might be tedious for some people but is right up my alley :) none of it particularly matches my exper...more

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Jan 12, 2009 Faith rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2005

Nathalie and David are brother and sister, but they are both adopted and have different biological parents. All their lives they have wondered about where they really come from, and now when they both have partners and children of their own, they deside to find out about their pasts and find their biological mothers. This upsetts everybody. Their own families, their adoptive parents, their biological mothers and their families...

Everything feels quite constructed. Every posible problem about ad...more

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Apr 04, 2009 Louise rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

This was a fairly good story but I wasn't particularily struck by the author's writing style. It was one of those books that you 'sort of enjoy' but at the same time, 'sort of DON'T enjoy'.

From back cover:

"We all need to know where we came from, where we belong. But for David and Nathalie, this need to know is more urgent than for most people, because they are adopted. Brought up by the same parents, but born to different mothers, they have grown up, fiercely loyal to one another, as brother and...more

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Nov 30, 2009 Manda rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2008

Precis: Two children adopted into the same family attempt to find their birth family. Tears and happiness await.

I have read too much Trollope. I can honestly say that I have met many of the characters in this book before in Trollope’s other books, and that they are behaving the same now as they did then. I know that most of the marriages will be undergoing power struggles, with the people in it unhealthily dependant on each other. I know that some of the adult children will be incapable of livin...more

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Aug 12, 2010 Susan added it

"We all need to know where we come from, where we belong. But for David and Nathalie, this need to know is even more urgent, since they are adopt...more "We all need to know where we come from, where we belong. But for David and Nathalie, this need to know is even more urgent, since they are adopted. Brought up by the same parents but born to two different mothers, they have grown up as brother and sister, and share a fierce loyalty." Their decision, in their late thirties, to embark upon the jo...more

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Mar 03, 2012 Dana rated it 4 of 5 stars

Needed a quiet lazy morning, so I curled up in my favorite squishy soft chair and read for hours. Finished another Joanna Trollope novel, Brother and Sister, which was very good. It is the story of 2 grown siblings, both adopted by the same family, but born to different birthmothers, who go in search of those birthmothers. Of course, because this is my beloved Joanna Trollope, there and many other wonderful characters, plots and sub plots, lots of human angst and love and tears. This book is not...more

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Oct 23, 2012 Smitha rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: borrowed, ethereal

A slightly slow paced novel which deals with adoption and its aftermath. Two adopted children, a girl and a boy (brother and sister of the title) go in search of their natural parents, though they had a comfortable life at home with their loving adoptive parents. Their identity search upsets the apple cart and causes distress, depression, feeling of inadequacy and similar negative emotions in their near and dear. Their birth mothers are also affected. It was an interesting read with deep psychol...more

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Jan 13, 2011 Bronwyn Rykiert rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: audiobook, family

David and Natalie were adopted and had a happy childhood with their adoptive parents Lynn and Ralph, and they did not miss where they came from or did they? In their 30’s, in relationships and with children they decide to go on the journey to find their parents, David reluctantly and Natalie’s insistence.

Both got more than they bargained for and not anything like they were hoping for. I found it hard to believe that neither partner wanted to embrace their journey, they were both jealous of somet...more

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Mar 15, 2013 Minnie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: audio-books

I am a dyed-in-the-wool Joanna Trollope fan so if she were to publish her laundry list, I would be thrilled to read it. Brother and Sister was most ably narrated by Lindsay Duncan and did not disappoint at all. There are no great surprises in a Trollope novel, just the lives of ordinary people and how they deal with a bend in their life road. But the way she tells her stories, presents the problems and how her characters deal with their problems has a ring of authenticity that few authors can em...more

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Jan 06, 2013 Jennifer rated it 4 of 5 stars

I have recently found my biological brother after a very long search covering years and I looked very hard to find a book that would help me sort out some of my feelings. I found that not only were there hardly any books on adoptions period, but that the library collection of them was even worse. I finally decided on this one because even though the synopsis was not the same as what I was living, it was still similar.

I really felt like the author nailed it. There were so many times I was reading...more I have recently found my biological brother after a very long search covering years and I looked very hard to find a book that would help me sort out some of my feelings. I found that not only were there hardly any books on adoptions period, but that the library collection of them was even worse. I finally decided on this one because even though the synopsis was not the same as what I was living, it was still similar.

I really felt like the author nailed it. There were so many times I was reading the book and would think, "That's absolutely true. That happened!" I wish I had made notes to comment on as I can't remember all of them now, but the book was very believable.

[Spoiler alert:]
Towards the end when you learn about Steve's affair (although I have major issues with calling sleeping with a person one time an affair, but regardless), I was stunned. I was totally on Nathalie's side and couldn't believe that he could have cheated on her. And then I realized that when I finally found my brother, we devoted our entire time to each other. My husband had made a comment to me that I shouldn't forget about him, and my brother's wife had gotten upset at the amount of time we were in contact with each other. And that's when I realized that that does happen.

When Betty told Cora that the photo she had of Nathalie was enough and Cora insisted it was not nearly enough, I got it. Having a picture of my brother meant nearly nothing to me. You want to take the relationship further - you want to see what will happen, how this other person turned out.

And then when they did meet, and they found out that they may be blood, but they were two different people, with different lifestyles - another thing spot on. You think you're going to have an instant connection - and some people absolutely do, but for others, you spend a lot of time struggling to regain things (time) that you will never be able to regain.

When I read that Carole's family was leaving for her first visit with David, but that they would be back later, it didn't even dawn on me how detrimental that could be. Until she revealed to David that her husband and sons wanted to meet him. He was stunned and I pictured a "deer in headlights" look upon his face. My brother and I still have not met family beyond spouses because nearly four months in, we still aren't 100% sure about our relationship. Telling your biological son that your husband and others sons are going to meet him that day is such a bad idea - unless you have discussed it first.

Just in these examples, the story is extremely realistic, and I encountered this throughout the book. I am glad that such a book was written and only wish that the number of books available on the topic were greater. Having said that, I think Trollope really did it well.

One issue I had with the book was the ending. It just stopped. I don't expect that everything would be wrapped up all perfectly, but I expected some sort of closure. Some sort of winding down all that the author had started. Second issue is that there were a lot of characters and I often got Daniel and David confused and more than once I had to stop and think about who Steve was because I couldn't remember. Lastly, there was a lot of lead up of the book, but not much of a climax. They each met their mother once and that was it. I have done a lot of research throughout my own journey and found that that's just not accurate. Sure, some people see each other once and never again, but the majority do stay in touch, at least through email or phone calls. The idea that Nathalie and David would meet their mothers once and then the book would end is unrealistic and sloppy. There could have been significantly less build up, and more time spent on developing a relationship (or lack thereof) with their mothers. There was a lot of potential there, but instead it just ended.(less)

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Feb 22, 2009 Bea Alden rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: domestic-fiction

Usually I love Joanna Trollope's books, but I liked this book less than the others I've read. It's about an adopted brother and sister who feel drawn in adult life to seek out their birth mothers. The story revolves around the emotional effects of this quest, on both of them and on all the people in their families. Somehow the exploration of each person's feelings seemed a bit overdrawn. Especially the feelings of the men! I thought the men in this story emoted way more than actual men would do!

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Jun 24, 2008 Khaya rated it 2 of 5 stars

Recommended to Khaya by: Ariella

I happened to be at Sefer ve-Sefel yesterday with some books to sell and was thinking of adding this one to the pile, even though I hadn't finished it. I'm not sure why I decided not to, but this morning I thought, why am I struggling to finish this book when I'm really not enjoying it? And that was when I decided to put it down.

I usually really like Joanna Trollope, so this was a surprise to me. Here too, her writing and characterization were superior to some of the mediocre books I've read; ho...more

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Mar 11, 2013 Jay rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The multitude of issues that affect adoptees lives are raised in this novel which is beautifully read by Lindsay Duncan. The far-reaching effects of Natalie's decision to seek her birth mother are explored from many points of view. I became extremely irritated by the reactions of some of the characters, but recognised that they were probably realistic. As I reached the end of this convoluted tale with many loose ends still trailing, I was pleased that Joanna Trollope refrained from leaving nothi...more

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Jul 25, 2011 Tori rated it 3 of 5 stars

2004- What happens when an adult man and woman suddenly decide to seek out their biological mothers? Joanna Trollope introduces us to a wide cast of characters in this novel, and examines the effect the main characters', siblings Nathalie and David, sudden pressing search for their biological mothers has on those who surround them. It all starts when Steve, Nathalie's common-law husband has a friend at work whose girlfriend wants to interview adult adoptees. After talking with her, Nathalie deci...more

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Mar 29, 2011 Carolyn rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

With a variety of characters, their lives entwined by decisions past & present, this is a story of family, including the adopted brother & sister seeking to find their birth mothers. The entertwining of family is a theme shared also by Trollope's book, OTHER PEOLE'S CHILDREN. It reminds me of the small pebble dropped in water; the ripples extend into unknown territory where waits the unknown; no certainties; no guarantees.

I listened to this on CD and enjoyed the performance by Lindsay...more

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Sep 04, 2012 Victoria rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: not-for-me, family, lit-fic, sold, brit-lit

This was certainly a fast read. In general, I enjoyed it - this topic of adoption was interesting, but it wasn't really what I expected. I think I was hoping it would be a bit more like a Jodi Picoult book and it never reached that dramatic of a level. The characters, I think, were what was really lacking - they weren't entirely fleshed out and the P.O.V.s, particularly of the children, were weak. The writing was a little weak too - but that was probably more to do with the fact that I have been...more

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Mar 08, 2013 Ann rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is about an adopted brother and sister who decide to search for their mothers. Trollope is good at family dynamics and all of her characters have enough flaws to make them interesting. Trollope is a comfort read for me, and I usually read one of her books a year. I wouldn't want a steady diet, but every once in awhile I thoroughly enjoy a trip into her world of sticky family relationships.

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Oct 17, 2012 Sarah rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: literature-contemporary

I found this a bit dull and eventless. It took me about half the book to really get into it. In the end I just skimmed the last few chapters, I couldn’t be bothered reading it completely, I just wanted to know the final outcome, which wasn’t all that interesting in the end anyway. I wouldn’t recommend it to any of my friends, it wasn’t a bad book just not my kind of story or writing style.

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Oct 08, 2012 Colleen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: british-author, contemporary, family-relationships, womens-fiction

Better than her past two books, but not her best. Still, very enjoyable (despite the fact there is a five-year old character in this novel that easily wins my vote for most obnoxious child ever created...thankfully she wasn’t mentioned too often!). It’s the story of an adopted brother and sister who decide to find their birth mothers, and how this impacts on their families’ lives.

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Sep 08, 2012 Kelly rated it 3 of 5 stars

It was well-written (despite the couple typos I found) but I just didn't find the plot engaging enough or the characters compelling enough to really get into. I didn't really get much of a visceral pull into what should have been a very emotional subject matter. That said, I think Trollope accurately captured the feeling of someone finding a birth parent after many many years.

The ending was big downer for me. Everything just kind of falls apart and falls flat. I'll give Trollope another try, bu...more

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Apr 12, 2011 Jamie Pfammatter rated it 1 of 5 stars

It was truly just 'okay'. The plot synopsis intrigued me in the store but I had not read any of this authors other books so I decided to grab it at the library and was very glad I did not spend money on it. I did not enjoy the writing style. The characters did not evoke a single emotion in me and I was bored through much of the book.

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Jan 01, 2009 Sull rated it 2 of 5 stars

This was somehow not as gripping as JT's other novels, though it had her usual interesting earmarks--realistic, well-rounded characters with secrets that intermesh, and surprising plot twists that work. It's about two adopted adults who look for and find their two very different birth mothers, and the quiet chaos that ensues.

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Mar 31, 2012 Chloe Nathan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Well written book about two adopted children, each from a different mother. The book is about their adult quest to find their mothers, which, naturally, disrupts their current lives and relationships. JOanna Trollope is a wonderful writer. I have now read about six or seven of her books. Each one contains twists and surprises!

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Aug 07, 2010 Ann Stanland rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: summer-reads

I consider this a summer or beach read book.

I was however, higly interested in the topic about being adopted as my husband is exploring his adoption and is reading a special book about it. (Which I'm dying to get my hands on.)

I seems that this book would be upsetting to someone who is adopted and personally struggling with their issues surrounding adoption.

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Jan 15, 2009 Laurie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: staff-suggestions

Adopted siblings given up at birth by different mothers begin a search for their biological parents. Their searches affect their own families, their adoptive parents, the "real" parents, and many others. Interesting study of how an innocent decision can affect many lives and relationships.

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Feb 16, 2013 sis rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013

maybe it's my mindset, but i found this book very difficult to get into. if it hadn't been a JT book, i'd have put it aside altogether. i didn't hate it, but the characters didn't excite me. i wanted to like them, but in the end, i didn't care about them.
maybe nothing of else of hers will ever live up to _the choir_ or _the rector's wife_!

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May 12, 2010 Beth rated it 3 of 5 stars

Natalie and David, adoptive siblings from different birth parents seek out their birth mothers, upsetting spouses and adoptive parents along the way. Very middle-class British, with a very middle-class reader and therefore entirely delightful for this starry-eyed (starry-eared?) listener.

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Feb 20, 2011 Jeri rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Jeri by: Pam Hawes

Shelves: f-general, f-women

Two adopted children, same adopted parents but different mothers, go in search of their birth mothers. Tied by a strange tie, Natalique & David react differently in their search and affect those around them - husband, parents and children. Well written, poignant.

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Mar 17, 2009 Apoorva rated it 3 of 5 stars

nothing too special. very british in its sensibility, made me think I was reading Agatha Christie or something, with its nuanced character descriptions and dialogue, but overall, it didn't change my life in any way. Interesting for anyone curious about adoption and its ramifications, though, and not an unpleasant read.

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About Joanna Trollope

Joanna Trollope Potter Curteis (aka Caroline Harvey)

Joanna Trollope was born on 9 December 1943 in her grandfather's rectory in Minchinhampton, Gloucestershire, England, daughter of Rosemary Hodson and Arthur George Cecil Trollope. She is the eldest of three siblings. She is a fifth-generation niece of the Victorian novelist Anthony Trollope and is a cousin of the writer and broadcaster James Trol...more

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