Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: Mengungkap Perbedaan Pikiran Pria dan Wanita Agar Sukses Membina Hubungan

by Allan Pease, Barbara Pease

book data

462 ratings, 3.68 average rating, 92 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		21%
4		38%
3		29%
2		8%
1		2%

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published

2005 (first published 1999) by UFUK press

binding

Paperback, 405 pages

url

http://www.kutukutubuku.com/images/pop_c...

isbn

9793330015

description

Lupakan segala sesuatu yang dianggap benar tentang lawan jenis yang pernah Anda dengar. Pria dan wanita tidak sama.

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08/27/07

Temee Tapiheroe rated it:

(review of isbn 1566491568)

Read in February, 2007

recommends it for: women who desperately need explanation about men, and men who need good point of views about women.

Well, because I am a woman, so I learned lot of things about men from this book. And I got so much explanations why sometimes women (like me) just couldn't understand men. Hahaha.. I think, men should read this book too. If they were reading this, good for them. With this book, men would much more understand us. Like my boyfriend, he finds so much familiar things (that happened between us) in this book, and he said : "I understand you better than before, cause this book gave me how-to-think...more

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12/11/08

Reinhold rated it:

(review of isbn 3548359698)

bookshelves: borrowed-or-ebook, non-fiction

Read in May, 2004

Sehr interessant, aber viel zu einseitig und vereinfachend

Nach längerer Zeit habe ich mich nun doch entschieden dieses Buch zu lesen und muss sagen, dass ich sehr zwiegespalten bin. Ein großer Pluspunkt ist der locker flockige Schreibstil, der durchaus ernst zu nehmende Themen leicht erfassbar macht. Manchmal allerdings überspannen die beiden den Bogen. Die beiden Autoren versuchen darzulegen, dass Frauen und Männer unterschiedlich sind, dennoch schaffen sie aber den Hochseilakt...more Sehr interessant, aber viel zu einseitig und vereinfachend

Nach längerer Zeit habe ich mich nun doch entschieden dieses Buch zu lesen und muss sagen, dass ich sehr zwiegespalten bin. Ein großer Pluspunkt ist der locker flockige Schreibstil, der durchaus ernst zu nehmende Themen leicht erfassbar macht. Manchmal allerdings überspannen die beiden den Bogen. Die beiden Autoren versuchen darzulegen, dass Frauen und Männer unterschiedlich sind, dennoch schaffen sie aber den Hochseilakt niemals als Traditionalisten zu erscheinen. Im Gegenteil fordern sie: "Gleichberechtigung bei gleichzeitiger Anerkennung der Unterschiedlichkeit."

Bei dieser Darstellung geht das Buch allerdings immer auf ein und das gleiche Schema zurück: "Der Mann war der Jäger, die Frau die Hüterin des heimischen Herdes und daher ist eine natürliche Determination im Denken gegeben." Diese Logik ist zwar schwer zu entkräften, erscheint letztlich aber doch als zu engstirnig - so einfach ist es denn wohl doch nicht. Während des Lesens des Buches wurde ich permanent von dem Gedanken eingeholt, es würde nur eine Seite der Wahrheit beschrieben und gegenläufigen Gesichtspunkten kein Raum eingeräumt. Dies ist eine sehr gefährliche Art und Weise Bücher zu schreiben.

Ein weiterer Kritikpunkt ist sicherlich die häufige Wiederholung der immer wieder gleichen Fakten. Dies kann lästig werden, zwingt andererseits allerdings zu einer intensiven Auseinandersetzung mit dem Thema. Die erzwungene Reflexion und das Erkennen von typischen Mustern ist mit Sicherheit der wertvollste Output des Buches. Schließlich erkennt man viele Situationen wieder und denkt sich dann still und heimlich, 'naja da könnte ich ja ansetzen', auch wenn man es vielleicht nicht gerne zugeben wird. Musterunterbrechung gibt es bekanntlich nur wenn man das Muster erkennt.

Letztlich aber bleibt der Eindruck, dass extreme Positionen als Mittelwert dargestellt werden. Die durchschnittliche Frau ist durchaus in der Lage sich zu orientieren und eine Straßenkarte zu lesen, ebenso wie der durchschnittliche Mann durchaus dazu in der Lage ist Einfühlungsvermögen zu entwickeln und monogam zu leben. Die Schwarzweißmalerei des Buches ist ein wirklich enorm schwerwiegender Punkt und deshalb gibt es massive Abzüge. Einige Kompensation gibt es durch die dahinterliegenden Wahrheit und das Bemühen all das verständlich und humorvoll zu beschreiben. Letztlich kann aber nicht mehr als eine mittlere Bewertung herauskommen. Ist das nun eine Empfehlung, werden Sie vielleicht fragen? Nun, ich möchte es nicht missen dieses Buch gelesen zu haben, aber vor überzogenen Erwartungen muss gewarnt werden. (less)

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02/19/08

aTeh rated it:

Read in February, 2006

recommends it for: wira.broto@gmail.com

hmmmmm....
buku ini mengungkapkan perbedaan pikiran antara pria dan wanita agar sukses membina hubungan. Lupakan segala sesuatu yang dianggap benar tentang lawan jenis yang pernah anda dengar. Pria dan Wanita adalah tidk sama. memahami hal ini merupakan free ticket bagi anda untuk mampu menikmati kebahagiaan, menjalin dan mempertahankan hubungan.
so... enjoy this book...

Like this review? yes (1 person liked it)

1 comment

05/27/08

Tedy rated it:

Read in January, 2008

recommended to Tedy by: my bebe..(jangan baca bebek ya)
recommends it for: cowok dan cewek, no bencong...

wew..after you read this book you'll know exactly the reasons why are men and women have a different way in everything.

bis baca buku ini gua cuman bisa mikir sambil cengar-cengir sendiri...oh iya ya...oh gitu...baru tahu gua kenapa gua gak suka nemenin cewek gua ke mall...kenapa cewek gua suka cerewet kalo kumis ma jenggot gua dipotong, dll..dll..

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01/10/09

Michael rated it:

(review of isbn 0767907639)

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in January, 2009

recommended to Michael by: Karina
recommends it for: Yes

I rated this book as a 4 only for the fact that I rounded up from a 3.5. I found the book to be very entertaining with the occasional informative statistics, which I typically only glanced at. It is a great book to remember all the differences that men and women share in this world. As well, it is a great reminder to put your self in there shoes (even though girls have so many). I highly recommend reading this book, but when doing so - do it with your current sexual conquest or amazing girl as i...more

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03/27/09

Jennifer rated it:

(review of isbn 0767907639)

Read in April, 2009

I received it as a gift. I hated it! If I could give it zero stars I would.

The husband and wife who wrote this book claim to be social scientists. Their style of writing is not in the least bit scientific. They do the reader the grand favor of presenting "facts" backed up by hard science and sifting through the information on gender differences so the reader doesn't have to.

In my opinion, what they really did was start out with a theory and discard anything t...more I received it as a gift. I hated it! If I could give it zero stars I would.

The husband and wife who wrote this book claim to be social scientists. Their style of writing is not in the least bit scientific. They do the reader the grand favor of presenting "facts" backed up by hard science and sifting through the information on gender differences so the reader doesn't have to.

In my opinion, what they really did was start out with a theory and discard anything that didn't agree with it. Some of the physiological gender differences they refer to might actually be backed by scientific data. But the Peases fail to footnote any of the so-called facts with documentation of actual scientific publications or studies.

And they also do the reader the great favor of telling him or her that if they disagree with their conclusions, it is only because the reader has been "victimized" by idealization.

I don't think their conclusion that men and women are different is nearly as shocking as they think it is. In fact I agree that there are differences between the genders, and some of it is based on biology. However, the Peases discard theories of socialization to explain some gender differences and instead insist gender differences are mostly based on men and women evolving differently.

And while they claim that they support women's rights to equality and working outside the home for equal compensation, they simultaneously advance the theory that relationships were happier when women got their self-esteem from providing a happy home for their hardworking husband and offspring. Their theory is pretty easy to challenge. After all if women were really so happy historically being homemakers, why would so many of them risked bliss on the homefront to join the workforce, fought for the right to vote, etc.

I found this book as pandering to stereotypes and managing to insult both genders. Gender based humor shows up in a lot of entertainment. The reason I find it so angering in this book is that the Peases claim their information is all backed by science. And yet most of their conclusions are not backed by much data. They will do things like cite "a recent study" or throw out a statistic without actually giving any information about who performed the study, was it peer-reviewed, how was the study set up, etc.

I also find it comical when they make claims that girls are mainly motivated by cooperation and you can't tell a leader in a group of women. It makes me question whether the Peases ever set foot in a grade school. I certainly recall there being a pecking order with the girls that was at least as clear, if not more defined than that of the boys. (less)

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06/13/08

Canochinha rated it:

(review of isbn 9725300955)

bookshelves: own

É um livro engraçadíssimo, interessante e lê-se num ápice. A sua mensagem principal é: geneticamente, o homem é diferente da mulher e não há grande coisa a fazer. Podemos apenas tentar compreender essas diferenças e, conhecendo-as e o que as origina, viver melhor. Ajuda-nos a compreender por que os homens e as mulheres são, geralmente, de determinada forma ou porque agem de certa maneira. Encontram-se respostas a questões tão míticas como: "porque é que os homens nunca encont...more

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06/27/09

Robert rated it:

(review of isbn 0767907639)

bookshelves: non-fiction

recommends it for: Couples out there

Sebuah buku psikologi populer yang sangat menarik. Buku ini mencoba menjelaskan secara ilmiah dengan bahasa sederhana bahwa pria dan wanita mempunyai perbedaan dengan alasan-alasan di balik perbedaan tersebut. Meskipun mungkin masih kalah populer dengan buku-bukunya John Gray, "Mars & Venus", overall buku ini sangat direkomendasikan untuk mengenal lebih baik lawan jenis kita :-)

Sekilas seperti: diceramahi seorang dosen lawan jenis yang cerdas, humoris, penuh percaya diri, d...more

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06/26/09

Liliyah rated it:

bookshelves: d-inspiration

sebagai gambaran umum..buku ini cukup oke jd referensi how to understanding our mate... tp menurut gw..setiap manusia itu unik, sangat spesifik dan spesial..tak ada yg sama, kembar siam sekalipun..jd kalo mw, belajar how to understanding our mate....dinamika hubungan itu sendirilah guru terbaiknya ;)

.. *sok bijaakk hehe ..* thanx, hunny dah d pinjemin :)

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06/15/09

Michelle rated it:

(review of isbn 0767907639)

Can't we all just get along?! Nope. We, men and women, are wired differently from birth and trying to pretend that we are "equal" only widens the chasm between the sexes. We are different. Not better or worse, just different. The sooner we understand this, the more effectively we will be able to communicate and have healthy relationships.

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05/11/09

Pedro Bookoholic rated it:

(review of isbn 9725300955)

HAHAHA um livro bastante engraçado e bastante, bastante curioso... Confesso que fiz aqueles questionários todos e que fiquei bastante interessado no que são, afinal, homens e mulheres... Sem dúvida ensinou-me mais sobre o ser humano e as diferenças entre si!

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02/24/09

Liz rated it:

(review of isbn 0767907639)

bookshelves: 3-star, non-fiction

Read in March, 2009

Overall this is an enjoyable and entertaining book. I picked it up because I saw it in the library and couldn't resist because of the title. It kind of points out things that we know already, but talks about them on a neurological level. However, the language is not overly scientific so that most adults can easily grasp the concepts. A fun read.

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01/21/09

Chantal added it (review of isbn 0767907639)

Ok I know it looks like you'd find it in the love or self help section but this book is very entertaining and extremely interesting. If you're a woman or man and find the opposite sex intriguing pick it up you might like it.

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12/28/08

Helluqueen rated it:

(review of isbn 1566491568)

yeah,,bisa la.cuma jadi pusing karena kbanyakan ngbahas ke anatominya. secara biologi gue bagus karena hafalan :p hehe
jadi perlu menyiapkan hati dan ingatan buat nerusin buku ini...
*pfiiuuhh*
Ps:thanx to poppy and ciskush

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08/10/07

Deasy rated it:

(review of isbn 0752846191)

Read in July, 2007

Bagus!!!Baca punya temen sih,tapi jadi pengen punya...
Yang versi Indonesia covernya gak kayak gini..Nyari2 cover yang sama tapi gak nemu....Yang versi Indonesia warnanya putih gitu...
Buku ini ngejelasin kenapa sih cewek ama cowok tuh beda,
Kenapa sih cewek tu cerewet banget...
Trus kenapa sih cowok tu relatif lebih pendiem,
Kenapa cewek suka belanja,sementara cowok sebaliknya.En masih banyak hal lain....
Buku ini ngejelasin dengan cara yang sederhana jadi gampang ...more

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01/22/09

Callie rated it:

(review of isbn 0767907639)

recommends it for: Women and Men having a hard time understanding eachother.

An insightful book about the differences between men and women physiologically that provides answers for why we are different behaviorally. Will help with the both sexes understanding each other better all around.

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03/01/09

Nina rated it:

(review of isbn 0767907639)

I think that´s one of the most hilarious books I´ve ever read. Plus it´s so true - men and women really are not made for each other. ha ha ha. A great book, read it!

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06/26/08

Jane rated it:

(review of isbn 1566491568)

Read in June, 2008

recommends it for: people who want a book to back up their bad behaviour

According to this book, I am "more likely" to be a lesbian because I have a masculine brain. This book also supports evolution but says that "Nature wants us to procreate and uses powerful drugs to do so." Yuh-huh, okay and what is "nature"? And why does it have wants? The advice in this book is stupid. The female author claims that she still has trouble finding her way home - yeah maybe because she is stupid not because she is female. None of the authors are psycho...more

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1 comment

08/28/07

bahamoet rated it:

(review of isbn 0957810881)

bookshelves: goodtoknow, psychology

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in October, 2005

recommends it for: mind reader, PR, In Relationship people

There's one point very important in this book :
men and Women are different.

Well, this book is about A to Z scientific explanation about it and how we should react about that. So much true cases most happen in this book about man - woman situation. People who are interested about making a better relationship should read this book.

Other than that, this book might also help us improving our public relation which involve multi-gender society. Learn how the differences m...more

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12/30/08

Lisa rated it:

(review of isbn 0767907639)

Very interestsing facts and not hard to understand.

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