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Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart

4.33  ·  Rating Details ·  270 Ratings  ·  61 Reviews
Christian womendon't have to choose between being sexual and spiritual. Theyhave legitimate longingsthatthe Church has been afraid to talk about,and books likeFifty Shades of Greyexploit. Whether you are single or married, sexually dead orjust looking to revive your sex life,Pulling Back the Shadeswill addressyourdesire to bebothsexual AND spiritual. With solid Biblical te ...more
Paperback, 176 pages
Published March 1st 2014 by Moody Publishers
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Brandi (Rambles of a SAHM)
Dannah and Juli have put together a book that addresses 'mommy porn' head on. It's not surprising that they have spoken out against this genre. But what is surprising is the way in which they go about it. Instead of shaming women by telling them they are terrible for reading these types of books they go to the root of why we as women are interested in these books.

They have broken our needs as a fulfilled woman into five different areas and then speak to each area. Through the use of a dialogue s
Brittany Ketter
Mar 11, 2014 Brittany Ketter rated it it was amazing
I admit, I did not read the Fifty Shades Series. I do not struggle with the pull of erotica. In most ways, this book really does not even apply to me. (The exception is that I'm a biblical counseling student and this book is an excellent resource for future reference.) Of all people, why would I be reviewing this book? Put simply, I believe in it's cause. This book is not just for married women. It is written to all women. We all have longings and this book addresses what some of us do with ...more
Rachel B
The authors indicate that this book is for single and married women alike. As I am single, I decided to read it and really wanted to like it. The book is informative, and I felt the authors adequately made a case for why women shouldn't read erotica, view porn, etc.

However, I felt the book was lacking in a practical conclusion. As a Christian, I'm already fully aware of things I shouldn't be doing - what I want are practical, biblical examples of what I should do. Throughout the book, the autho
Leandra Vane
Nov 01, 2015 Leandra Vane rated it did not like it
As a sex blogger and erotica writer, this book obviously wasn’t written for me. But as a sex blogger and erotica writer, I wanted to read this newly released book on the topic of women and erotica, even if it was written from a viewpoint I do not share. I ultimately gave this book one star because there are manipulative tactics used throughout the text that I feel were unnecessary. I also deeply disagree with nearly all the conclusions of this work.

The arguments in this book against erotica are
Jul 24, 2014 Jennifer rated it liked it
In 2011, E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey made quite a stir. It’s not as if “mommy porn” and deviant sexual practices are anything new. It’s that much of the public would rather keep them out of sight and pretend they don’t exist. However, James’ book pushed this somewhat underground form of erotica out into mainstream, forcing us to take notice. With the publication of two sequels and the long-awaited movie release scheduled for 2015, the timing seemed right for a Christian voice in this growin ...more
Apr 16, 2014 Abby rated it it was amazing
I started this book review purely altruistically—to write a review that might help others who really need to read the book. I mean, after all, I have my own set of temptations and struggles, but erotica isn’t one of them. And my marriage of 11 years isn’t perfect by any means, but I’ve also read most of the relationship books recommended by Focus on the Family. What new, life changing information could this book have to offer?

Through the second chapter, my expectations were confirmed. But by the
Dawn Pulgine
Feb 25, 2014 Dawn Pulgine rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
They broke the rules!

The subject matter...raunchy. The writing...real, blunt, and taboo, at least within the church. Dannah Gresh, a best-selling author and the founder of Pure Freedom, an organization defending abstinence, and Dr. Juli Slattery, a widely known clinical psychologist, author, speaker and broadcast media professional, boldly go where few have ventured, specifically within the Christian realm of women’s issues. In a rebuttal to the Fifty Shades of Grey series, Gresh and Slattery a
Mar 14, 2015 Jeanie rated it it was amazing
Shelves: kindle
In an effort to inform and help women, Pulling Back the Shades reveals the dangers of how erotica pulls women into discontentment and unrealistic relationships. My own reading preference, I have not read the books. I have read some of the reviews and that was enough for me. When I was younger, I read what was considered then a little daring. However, I do not intentionally read too many romances just because it does mess with my mind and ultimately my relationship with my husband.

Is this book f
Aug 29, 2014 Crys rated it really liked it
A sex book?!? Never thought I'd either read nor admit to reading one! No I do not have a problem reading erotica. They make me feel icky if I come across a sex scene in a book. However, I do love romance novels. No big deal right? Unless you are reading them for the wrong reason, they help you escape reality(guilty) and if the cause discontent in your life(guilty again).
I'd been praying and asking God how you know when reading and writing romance novels becomes a sin and is considered fantasizi
Laura Langley
Apr 11, 2014 Laura Langley rated it it was amazing
If you’ve read erotica, been tempted to read it, or know someone who has read it, you NEED to read Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy and the Longings of a Woman’s Heart. In the book, authors Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery shine the light on how erotic books like Fifty Shades of Grey, also known as “mommy porn,” actually destroy relationships and marriages.

Straight away, Gresh and Slattery identify five unmet longings in women’s hearts and the characteristics of successful erotica, e
Sunshine Thiry
Apr 16, 2014 Sunshine Thiry rated it it was amazing
I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book. After years around Protestant Christian churches, I had noticed that men’s sexual sin is not infrequently discussed in church but women’s very rarely is. I have heard the evils of pornography discussed but I have never heard women’s preferred form of pornography – erotica – discussed. I thought maybe the authoresses would try to excuse women’s sexual sin, but they did not! Instead they lovingly, in the name of Christ, but very firmly, call erotica ...more
Nov 06, 2014 Deb rated it it was amazing
Surprising. Jaw dropping. Astounding.

“Nine percent of practicing Christians have read Fifty Shades of Grey, the same percentage of all Americans who have read the book. And among all American adults who read Fifty Shades of Grey, one in five were Christians.”

Seriously? Those statistics are mind boggling to me. Why are Christian women attracted to a book that uses the “F-word” approximately one hundred times in each of the books? Why do they enjoy reading of BDSM? What is that you may ask? I didn
Apr 13, 2014 Crystal rated it it was amazing
I'm a Christian woman and I've been lead astray by erotica. I didn't think that it was a bad thing until I became more curious about my faith. It's funny because I was born into my religion, but yet I had really no idea what that entailed until recently. Once I realized that my reading erotica might not be so harmless, I tried to keep myself from reading the many books I'd got off of Amazon for free. I found myself going back to them sometimes, until I finally just decided to delete them from my ...more
Kayla Eklund
As a Christian, I have always wondered if you can be a Christian and read erotica. Actually, I have a lot of questions about sex and Christianity. Finally there's a book that steps up to the plate and answers all the hard questions. The authors also use scripture to back up their answers with proof. If you want that answer, I'm not going to give it to you. You'll have to read the book.

In the church, sexuality has always been a taboo topic. It's just one of those things that you don't talk about
Apr 03, 2015 Jo rated it really liked it
Whilst this books starts off talking about the book 50 Shades of Grey, it goes into so much more. It looks at erotica/mommy porn and discusses why people are drawn to it & what it is promising whilst then going on to explain the dangers and risks. It is refreshing to have a book that looks specifically at erotica, whilst still discussing porn, and thus shows how damaging and dangerous erotica is, which is often seen as much more mild/ok compared to porn. The writers come across as biblical ...more
Ashley Tetzlaff
Feb 27, 2015 Ashley Tetzlaff rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Girls 15+
I really enjoyed reading this book! I thought it was very well written and did a good job addressing the subject in a sensitive way. The authors (Gresh and Slattery) each write in their own style - shown in the book with different types of font.

The authors address the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" and the impact it and other such erotic stories have on the lives of women in general and Christian women in particular. They share their own testimonies and advice, as well as the experiences of other w
Jan 16, 2015 Brittany rated it really liked it
Pulling Back the Shades is a great response to the dangers of 50 Shades of Grey and similar books. Glad I read this to protect myself and my marriage!
Nov 07, 2014 Jessie rated it it was amazing
Loved this book. a great read that i believe every Christian woman who reads erotica or etc..or even generally should read. non-christians should read this as well! so inspiring and well written!
Apr 29, 2014 Angie rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-2014
This book speaks to the destructive forces of porn and erotica on marriage, and spirituality. I'm so glad I'm in the minority of women who have not read 50 Shades.
Molly S
Nov 13, 2016 Molly S rated it it was amazing
Biblical, honest, practical, convicting.
Jenny Flohre
Dec 16, 2015 Jenny Flohre rated it it was ok
I read this book to understand what the "Christian womens" side of the romance book industry was all about. I, myself, am a Christian woman and enjoy romance novels. I read the 50 Shades of Grey series and enjoyed it. I went into this book with an open heart and open mind to see the other side. I now see the other side, and I'm really disappointed.

This book relies on scare tactics and portions of the FSOG books taken out of context (even a footnote to "facts" found on Wikipedia!) to show Christi
Dec 19, 2014 Cliff rated it it was amazing
Shelves: library
It is a common misconception that pornography is a man’s problem, even a Christian man’s problem. Some studies show that the problem isn’t just in the pews, it’s in the pulpits. Whole ministries have cropped up to help men eradicate this sin from their lives.

When Fifty Shades of Grey was published it was just another book with a distorted view of the relationship between man and woman. It was nothing new and nothing different than what’s been produced by writers for centuries and filmmakers for
Apr 11, 2014 Tracy rated it it was amazing
I begin this review with the preface that I have not read the Fifty Shades of Grey books. I prefer my fiction clean; without gutter language and explicit bedroom scenes. Therefore Pulling Back the Shades is a book I never thought I would be reading! The reason I agreed to review a non-fiction book addressing such a controversial issue was my deep respect, both personally and professionally, for Dr Juli Slattery. Despite this it was not without a small amount of unease that I delved in to see how ...more
Jul 28, 2016 Alcieta rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
This book isn't just for women who are struggling with erotica. I've never read erotica or Fifty Shades myself, but I've been interested in the phenomena instigated by it. I’m the type of person who, if she stumbles upon sex in a book—just regular, described sex, not even erotica (which I assume is a lot wilder and reading it would probably make me feel like I’d swallowed a vat of poison, but I’m weird in that sense)—it will smack me in the face, make me feel mildly ill. “Morbid curiosity” is ...more
Jon Stephens
Apr 23, 2014 Jon Stephens rated it really liked it
Pulling Back the Shades is written by Dannah Gresh & Dr. Juli Slattery and is a somewhat indirect response to the popularity of the book series Fifty Shades of Grey, and the subsequent explosion of that genre of literature.

When originally contacted to review this book I was very hesitant to agree to read it, as I was sure this was just going to be an under researched, angry, ultraconservative Christian’s response to secular culture, but thankfully I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Dannah Gresh
Mar 03, 2014 Edie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: marrriage
I want to say first that Pulling Back the Shades by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery covered so much more than just the 50 Shades books. It addresses erotica (mommy porn), intimacy with your spouse, dealing with past indiscretions, longings of a woman's heart, and more. As I read I thought of so many different women and different reasons or parts of the book that would speak to them.

Let me tackle the first subject and really the main subject of the book: erotica. Gresh and Dr. Slattery do an a
Gabrielle W.
Jul 20, 2014 Gabrielle W. rated it it was amazing
I have to admit, I did not, have not, and will not read the Fifty Shades series.
I also do not have any issue with erotica or "mommy porn". And yet, I was extremely excited to have a chance to read this book! I feel that the issues this books covers can apply to so much more (such as television shows-i.e. Game of Thrones, True Bloods, etc.)
This book IS NOT just for married women. It's definitely written for ALL women!
We all have longings and desires.
This book talks about what some do with those
Sam B
I first heard about this about around the time the Fifty Shades of Grey movie was released.
It was featured on a show I watched and thought it sounded like a great book.

The release of the Fifty Shades movie really got to me. As a Christian I was offended by it and by the way it was so easily accessible.
As the dvd was recently released I felt it was a good time to pick up the book and read it. I was amazed by it. This book tackles issues so much bigger than only Fifty Shades or erotica. It is ce
Edythe Hamilton
May 26, 2015 Edythe Hamilton rated it really liked it
Pulling Back the Shades tackles the subjects of erotica, intimacy, and the wants of a woman and how spiritual women struggle with these issues in nine chapters. In reference to erotica romance novels, “We Know Why You Read It” and “Fifty Shades of Deception” are two chapters that discuss temptations that lure women and the “characteristics” used to reel you into the erotica genre. “Since When Does Prince Charming Carry Handcuffs?” covers BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism) through ...more
Sep 10, 2016 Chris rated it it was amazing
Ephesians 5:3 (NIV) says that there "must not be even a hint of sexual immorality" in our lives. This includes what we read. I have been convicted lately about not reading anything with even a hint of sexual immorality.

In this book, Juli and Dannah are discussing erotica, specifically, but I believe the biblical principles they put forth in this book can be applied generally as we consider reading so many popular books in the adult and young adult sections. Sadly, sexual immorality is creeping i
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Dannah Gresh, a mother/daughter communication coach, has sold well over three quarters of a million copies of her books—including And the Bride Wore White and 2008's best-selling CBA youth book, Lies Young Women Believe (coauthored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss)—making her one of the most successful Christian authors targeting teens and preteens. With the belief that today's culture has been seeking to ...more
More about Dannah Gresh...

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“People sometimes say that it is “old-fashioned” to define morality based on the Bible, but nothing is more “old- fashioned” than wanting to define right and wrong for ourselves.” 2 likes
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