Sign in with Facebook
Loading...
21st out of 196 books
—
262 voters
Positive Discipline
by
Jane Nelsen
For twenty-five years, Positive Discipline has been the gold standard reference for grown-ups working with children. Now Jane Nelsen, distinguished psychologist, educator, and mother of seven, has written a revised and expanded edition. The key to positive discipline is not punishment, she tells us, but mutual respect. Nelsen coaches parents and teachers to be both firm an...more
Paperback, 384 pages
Published
May 30th 2006
by Ballantine Books
(first published August 12th 1987)
Friend Reviews
To see what your friends thought of this book,
please sign up.
Community Reviews
(showing
1-30
of
1,349)
This is an interesting book on discipline using the Adlerian approach. It's a different way of thinking about raising kids than most people do naturally. It encourages parents and teachers to stop adding shame, blame, and pain to kids' misbehavior because that doesn't achieve the long-term results in character that parents have as the goal for their kids. I recommend this book--there's a whole series of them for all different life situations: one for preschoolers, one for classrooms, one for sin...more
OK, I haven't quite finished it yet, but this book has changed my life and more importantly changed my relationship with my kids. It is a must read for every parent. Would you like to hug your child instead of punishing him and in the process teach him to be a capable, confident problem solver? Put an end to power struggles? Understand what is appropriate behavior for each phase of a child's development? Do you know why your child acts up and whether your response only makes the situation worse....more
Winning Children Over Rather than Winning Over Children
In his 1923 classic, How to Love a Child, Janusz Korczak warned against relying on manuals when raising children; rather, the adult should listen and be attuned to both the children at hand and maintain an awareness of what it means and how it feels to be a child - in short, the ability to use one's empathy and moral sense to understand the life of the child by being able to see the world from a child's perspective.
Of the many books on "disc...more
In his 1923 classic, How to Love a Child, Janusz Korczak warned against relying on manuals when raising children; rather, the adult should listen and be attuned to both the children at hand and maintain an awareness of what it means and how it feels to be a child - in short, the ability to use one's empathy and moral sense to understand the life of the child by being able to see the world from a child's perspective.
Of the many books on "disc...more
i love the book Good and Angry, it's phenomenal. however, it requires a lot from the parents in the way of steps and methods, etc. and with six kids, it becomes difficult to wade through all of the platforms without coming into it totally familiar with their technique. this book, Positive Discipline, is phenomenal because it works across the board - there are steps to take to help the children behave, but many of the steps are ones i take as an individual and see as a parent, and are easy to app...more
I am re-reading this book after losing it on the bookshelf for 15 years. Wow! Why didn't I memorize it way back when? This should have been on my nightstand right along with my scriptures. I have very recently been researching how to have more meaningful discipline. I had already come to the understanding through my studies of Waldorf education and prayerful meditation that the child's soul is a tender and beautiful thing that needs careful nurturing and guidance. Harsh, humiliating punishments...more
3 likes · like · see review
view 1 comment
This was an interesting read. I liked the basic premise of the book, that lots of common parenting tactics just add blame, shame, and pain instead of leading to a long-term solution. And that misbehaving children are really frustrated children. I really could have used more examples of the practical application of her ideals though. I did read an older edition...perhaps this newer version includes better examples.
It is one of those books that you'd have to read several times to really grasp the...more
It is one of those books that you'd have to read several times to really grasp the...more
This seemed to be just what I needed at this juncture with our children. Lots of core messages resonate strongly
-- A misbehaving child is a discouraged child
-- Children simply want belonging and significance
-- It is wrong to think that we must make children feel worse in order to do better.
And I could go on.
One challenge with a book like this is that you will still hunger for exactly the right words to use in your own situation. I've read it all the way through and still struggle for the right...more
-- A misbehaving child is a discouraged child
-- Children simply want belonging and significance
-- It is wrong to think that we must make children feel worse in order to do better.
And I could go on.
One challenge with a book like this is that you will still hunger for exactly the right words to use in your own situation. I've read it all the way through and still struggle for the right...more
My son's preschool teacher recommended this book from her personal library of parenting books. The methods in this book were not new to me but a wonderful reminder and inspiration that there is a better option than the threat/punishment mindset I so easily slip into. Lots of examples and tips for real life scenarios. Probably the most effective and helpful tip was to always give 2 choices when something needs to happen: "Would you like to stop throwing toys or would you like to go to your room?"...more
This book is considered a gold standard in discipline with kids and I would agree. I've been frustrated lately with my 2.5 yr old daughter; there's been a lot of time-outs and tears lately not to mention frustration on my part. I wanted another way to discipline her that didn't involve my loud voice and her facing a wall. This book has given me so much insight into how to get through to her in a positive manner. I've not got all the techniques down but there are already fewer tears and more coop...more
Well, I have read a lot of parenting books... maybe by the time I have read 50 I'll be an "ideal parent" for my children! I find this parenting theory really resonates with how I feel parenting should be... a type of parenting that is very respectful and unlikely to leave children with damage or baggage from being overly permissive or strict or overly "child-centered" or whatever else!
Now that's the best thing about substitute teaching high school... I can read a book... I have been wanting to f...more
Now that's the best thing about substitute teaching high school... I can read a book... I have been wanting to f...more
1 like · like · see review
For those of you familiar with gospel principles, this book is full of them. Some one told me this lady is LDS, I don't know if it is true but her concepts support Christ-like ways. The theory of "positive discipline" stretched my mind and heart to new places about how I can parent more lovingly. Some of her one liners that are so true; "A misbehaving child is a discouraged child." When a child is misbehaving, the last thing they need is a spank. The misbehavior is a plea for love. Also, "We don...more
I read this book along with other parenting books when I took a Parenting course with Pat Schmitter at Bristol Elementary School. She was such a relaxed, respectful, nonjudgemental resource and it was such a supportive group. But it was also my first indication that my husband was not interested in working on the family dynamics and relationships, because he couldn't make time to take the class so we could be on the same page with the information. Too bad. Great information. I could share it wit...more
I found this book extremely helpful. There were parts in this book that caused bells to go off in my head, as it gave me the answers I needed on child rearing. Sometimes I wanted to say out loud, "Exactly. That's exactly what she does, and this solution makes so much sense." I understand one of my children a lot better, and think that the suggestions in the book will help me get a better hold on the situation. Great methods and logic. There are a few things that I won't use, but that's one of th...more
INTRODUCTION
Based on teachings of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs
"The foundation for healthy self-esteem is the development by children of the belief "I am capable". Children don't develop this belief when parents do any of these things (do too much for them, overprotect them, rescue them, don't spend enough time with them, purchase too many things for their children, do homework for their children, nag, demand)...Nor do they develop the skills that help them feel capable when they are always t...more
Based on teachings of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs
"The foundation for healthy self-esteem is the development by children of the belief "I am capable". Children don't develop this belief when parents do any of these things (do too much for them, overprotect them, rescue them, don't spend enough time with them, purchase too many things for their children, do homework for their children, nag, demand)...Nor do they develop the skills that help them feel capable when they are always t...more
Positive Discipline is designed to have mutual respect, see a misbehaving child as a discouraged child, use encouragement as the basic motivator, and teach life skills.
The section that dealt with the concept that a misbehaving child is trying to tell us “I don’t feel I belong or have significance, and I have a mistaken belief about how to achieve it.” was really helpful to me. It goes into detail about why children misbehave: power struggle, attention, etc. And it guides you on how to deal with...more
The section that dealt with the concept that a misbehaving child is trying to tell us “I don’t feel I belong or have significance, and I have a mistaken belief about how to achieve it.” was really helpful to me. It goes into detail about why children misbehave: power struggle, attention, etc. And it guides you on how to deal with...more
I think my mom gave me this book -- somehow, it ended up in the "pediatrics" section of my little library, and after reading "Between Parent and Child" I thought this would be interesting, too. Maybe it was Wes' mom? Not sure.
Anyway, this book was a little different in that it was geared towards parents and teachers, but the approach was the same -- love the child, get to understand them, and then use firm and logical consequences when necessary. It also talked a lot about agreeing upon rules an...more
Anyway, this book was a little different in that it was geared towards parents and teachers, but the approach was the same -- love the child, get to understand them, and then use firm and logical consequences when necessary. It also talked a lot about agreeing upon rules an...more
Jan 27, 2009
Cherre
is currently reading it
This book teaches how to apply positive discipline techniques in the home or classroom. It talks about the negative effects of being strict or permissive as a parent/teacher. It encourages being kind, yet firm, treating children with respect and equipping them with skills to develop self-discipline, responsibility and cooperation. I'm reading this as part of a 10-week parenting course, so it will be a slow read as I try to put these techniques into practice.
Very good discipline book, though not the best read. Nelsen emphasizes a set of strategies that take place outside of major conflicts. You can train kids how to behave before they get into challenging situations. And after they misbehave, you can strategize with them about how to handle themselves next time.
This book is really for children, though, not toddlers or preschoolers. I'll check out her toddler book next and come back to this one in five years.
This book is really for children, though, not toddlers or preschoolers. I'll check out her toddler book next and come back to this one in five years.
I believe this should be handed out in the delivery room! I love the premise of this book which argues that it is ridiculous to think that in order to make children behave better you have to punish them or make them feel worse. Instead Jane Nelson has many positive ways to help parents and child work together and come to solutions that really work. We are using her tools and family meetings and already noticing a tremendous difference.
I just finished this book that I got for free at a library sale this summer. The author is an educator, so she writes this book for teachers as well as parents. I think reading it through I got more insight into my teaching than parenting. One thing I really liked was the section on Class Meetings or Family meetings. I used some class meetings but was not confident in facilitating them, so I didn't stick with it. I wish I had read this book back then! The same idea can be carried into the home b...more
I am giving this a 5 despite the fact that she repeats herself a bunch of times because it has changed my opinion on discipline. I liked that not only did she tell you better ways to discipline, but she gave examples and taught you how handle situations that come up everyday. I think this is a great book if you feel like you have tried everything in your home and you don't know what else to do with your kiddos.
What a great book!! I was skeptical at first because it had some dull stuff at the beginning but I loved the chapters about birth order, class meetings, and family meetings. Lots of positive, practical ideas for communicating with others. I will definitely read this book again and look forward to using the ideas when I have a family.
I will be reading it a couple more times because there's so much advice I'd like to try.
I will be reading it a couple more times because there's so much advice I'd like to try.
Some excellent strategies for dealing with the conflicts that inevitably arise in parenting and classroom situations. Nelsen's emphasis on providing children opportunities to learn cooperation, problem solving, and communication skills is inspiring. Problem solving with her suggestions may take more time, but they seem more educational for teaching children appropriate social and communication skills long-term. A main premise of the books is that a misbehaving child is a discouraged child, and I...more
I love the concept of the book and while haphazardly implementing what I was learning as I read, my daughter (5) endorsed the book. I saw her copying the cover and asked her what she was doing and she replied that she liked it. When I inquired why, she told me that I don't "yell" as much since I started reading it. And while I don't yell, I must raise my voice more than I realize (and more than I want to). So, I asked why she was copying the cover, I already have and am reading the book. She rep...more
With so many parenting books out there how is one to know which one is the best? Well, I asked my expert professor. He highly recommended all books by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D. Positive Discipline shows parents exactly how to focus on solutions while being kind and firm. If you want to enrich your relationship with your children, this is the book for you.
Loved some of these ideas, especially the idea of a positive time-out. She really stresses the fact that when kids feel better they act better. And that discipline isn't punishment, it's teaching. This book is written for a classroom setting as well, although it totally applies to parents at home too. She should do a separate book for each situation.
Very thought provoking parenting book. Despite the title, it's actually about NOT disciplining your children. Nelsen believes all misbehavior is simply an attempt by children to meet their needs, so the way to react to a misbehaving child is to find out what they are trying to accomplish, and then coach them into gaining their objective in a more productive/socially acceptable fashion. Punishment is therefore counter-productive and even cruel. I really enjoyed it, and overall agree with Nelsen's...more
I read this before my oldest child was even two yrs old. Unfortunately, and for not very good reasons, I didn't stick to it, but I have since re-read it, and found it to be true to my own trial and error parenting experiences -- I "use it" now and completely love it, and wish I had been as wise before.
Very good book. Liked it better than some similar ones -- less preachy than The Entitlement Trap. Plan to read another of Nelsen's books, either for toddlers/preschoolers (for whom the "agenda" won't work) or A-Z, which has solutions to issues already given.
Every parent and teacher of should read this book. It incorporates a lot of neat and new techniques for disciplining children. Although I have none of my own to practice it on, I look forward to the day where I can use it in my classroom. I loved this book!
There are no discussion topics on this book yet.
Be the first to start one »
Dr. Jane Nelsen is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in South Jordan, UT and Carlsbad, CA.
She is the author and/or coauthor of the Positive Discipline Series.
More about Jane Nelsen...
She is the author and/or coauthor of the Positive Discipline Series.
Share This Book
No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »
