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I Heart My Little A-Holes

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3.78 of 5 stars 3.78  ·  rating details  ·  1,340 ratings  ·  277 reviews
When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he’s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she’s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely decorate the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they’re a-holes. So it’s only natural to want to kill them sometimes. Of course you can’t because you’d ...more
Paperback, 272 pages
Published October 22nd 2013 by Baby Sideburns (first published October 20th 2013)
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Gail
(NOTE: I gave this book two stars on Amazon, and I think it deserves a two out of five - but Goodreads insists on assigning one star the "did not like it" description and two stars the "it was ok" description; since I did not like it, my Goodreads hands are tied.)

Karen Alpert (a.k.a., Baby Sideburns) cobbles together more than a dozen posts and short quips (probably originally created for Facebook) from her popular blog in this highly disappointing compilation-style mommy memoir. Jill Smokler’s
...more
Jenna
I was really expecting this to be better. I follow her on Facebook and find her hilarious and was just disappointed with the book. It was comical, to a point, but how many times is it really necessary to talk about poop and vajayjays?? And the the lists that were never comp!eyed... But, maybe she'll digress. Thats what she spent most of the book doing.

Maybe I would have found it more funny if I was in the throes of diapers and juggling a new born and toddler. I think she should just stick to Fa
...more
Lisa
I can see how the blog on which this book is based is probably really funny, but collecting the various blog posts about Alpert's experiences as a mother to young children into a book just didn't work for me. Certainly, there were some laugh-out-loud moments. But, overall, it was too much of the same. And, for me, musings along the lines of, 'How do you spell that word?' are just fine in a blog, but have no place in a book.

Anyway, my husband bought this as a gift, so I feel bad disliking it, bu
...more
Lauren
I laughed so many times while reading this book. I want the author to be my new best friend. I doubt she needs one though, judging by the length of the list of people she thanks at the end.
Katie
For full disclosure; I only read the sample but I feel that was enough. There are several Mommy bloggers who have written books and in my opinion they could have all been written by the same person. It is all the same material and schtick. They think they are being controversial and/or funnier by adding more swear words or negative comments about their children. It insults the readers intelligence to imply that just by adding the word fuck, I will then think it's funny. Um no. Write something or ...more
Andria
Oh man, this book it like a breath of fresh air! There are so many times where I'm afraid that I'm alone in my thinking...this book proves that I'm not! Baby Sideburns is hilarious and crude and I loved every minute of this book. I laughed out loud many many times. Thank you Karen for having the balls to tell it like it is no matter how disgusting, horrifying or mortifying it is! You have a forever fan in me.
Spring
Hilarious! This book is NOT for the too proper folks, can be a tad vulgar, but dang it was funny & real. If you need a break, a good laugh in the trenches of motherhood this book is for you!
Petra



This book was a great disappointment.It is based on a bunch of posts from the author's blog, and while I can see that some of these posts might be funny individually, the book is a complete disaster.Seriously , my collage physics textbook was funnier than this.
It never even made me laugh once, she is trying waaaaaaaaay to hard to be funny, and then there is a constant spelling jokes which might be funny once but not a million times.
Also writing a top ten list but not completing it because she is
...more
Beth
I skimmed most of the book as it was the same thing over and over in each section. Some things were funny, but I found it pretty vulgar and it was like reading a VERY LONG stand up routine or a skit that went too long on SNL.
I don't read blogs as I feel a better use of my time is to live my OWN life and actually TALK to friends, family, people vs. just reading stuff by strangers online....so that being said I have never read the authors popular blog or any blog for that matter.
I think she would
...more
Ciara
this is another blog-to-book, & it shows. an awful lot of this book seemed to be lifted directly from the blog & published as-is, no editing whatsoever. including references to the fact that it was written to a blog, remarks about comments, etc. ordinarily i HATE this. but i will make an exception here because a) i'd never read the blog, so all the material was new to me, & b) it was legitimately funny. i actually laughed out loud several times, & i am not a laughing-out-loud-at- ...more
Kim Bongiorno
6 Reasons Why You Need to Buy I Heart My Little A-Holes Right Now:

1. When you were younger, you totally had a thing for the bad boys, the ones that felt dangerous and your parents didn't approve of. Now you're a respectable, tax-paying adult that can barely stay awake for the 10 O'Clock News. Karen fills that need for danger - but won't get you pregnant. She'll make you clutch your pearls and gasp in shock, then giggle 'til you tinkle in your granny panties. Reading her words is like telling you
...more
D.B.
I love this lady's approach to motherhood - raw, honest, and pee-your-pants funny, it serves as a not-so-gentle reminder that a sense of humor (not to mention a profanity laced internal monologue) is an essential survival skill when dealing with one's adorable little a-holes. I burned through it in a day and a half and shared vignettes with my mommy friends and co-workers, as well as sharing Baby Sideburns's Mother's Day wish list with hubby. I sooooooooo want the 'leave me the hell alone' coupo ...more
Jules
hilarious, pee in your pants funny stories about motherhood. I was lucky enough to get an advanced copy and finished it within 24 hours. Karen has the guts to say what many of us think, and does it in such a way that you can't help but nod your head in agreement. And let's face it, all kids are a-holes at one time or another. My new go-to baby gift.
Cyndee
I wanted to really like this book, but it feels like the author was trying waay too hard. It's a compilation of quick stories and posts from the author's blog Baby Sideburns. She writes about the sucky parts of a being a parent, but in a funny way. However, it seemed like the author thought she was much more funny than she actually is and kept mentioning how the book was so funny that it would make the reader pee themselves (I never came close to laughing out loud, let alone entering the laugh s ...more
Colleen Mattatall
She's crude, foul language and a mother of two. As a crude, foul languaged mother of two I find her hysterical. She swears a lot but as she puts it, she writes a lot of swears because she can't say them anymore. I find her to be hysterical and horrifying all at the same time- kind of like motherhood of two...
Jennifer
I laughed through most of this book. It is so great to know I am not the only crazy mom out there! I think this should be required reading for all moms!!!
April
Freaking hilarious compilation of blogs from Baby Sideburns. I laughed so hard, I had the ugly laugh/cry face on an airplane. Definitely recommend.
Brittany
I definitely laughed A LOT while reading this book! I really hope Baby Sideburns writes another book...asap ;)
Jennifer
I'd give it more stars if I could. She says all the things I think but don't have the cojones to say!
Bethany Zimp
Such a creative book with very accurate details about parenting. Prior to this book I hadn't read the author's blog, but I'm going to start to now. My husband loved the title and started/finished it before I did - he also greatly enjoyed the author's unique commentary on child-rearing. There were multiple (actual) laugh out loud moments during the book, which I rarely experience with books.

Disclaimer - my friend received this as a Goodreads Giveaway and was kind enough to share with me. Thanks @
...more
Andrienne
There are certain kinds of funny - Funny but fun (Mean Girls), Funny but lame (some SNL shows), funny but serious (Colbert Report), funny but mean (Roasting an actor) and so on. This book manages to be all of it except the funy but fun. Yes, the author said that she loves her kids (of course she has to say it, otherwise, no-one will buy this book). I feel like it isn't possible to write a full book using children as the punch line. You just can't. As a parent, it's fun to read about mishaps in s ...more
Kelli (I'd So Rather Be Reading)
I've been following Karen's blog, Baby Sideburns, for a few months now and love her witty humor. She never fails to make me laugh! I bought her book the day it was released and it was even better than reading her blog.

There was little repetition from her blog; by that I mean the book was almost all new material. I've read a couple of books written by bloggers and I'm always disappointed when their books contain a lot of old blog posts.

There are some funny illustrations, but my favorite additi
...more
Brooke
Nov 02, 2013 Brooke rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: EVERYONE
There's only one word that can adequately describe this book. HIGH-FUCKING-LARIOUS!!! Yes, that's a real word!

A friend of mine loaned the Kindle version of this book to me and now I want to shout from the mountaintops (all of them) that EVERYONE should read this book. I laughed SO fucking hard all throughout this book that my abs and face are SORE now!!! Thanks for the unintentional workout, though, Ms. Alpert!

This book is a somewhat sarcastic, albeit accurate, accounting of what it's like to b
...more
Megan
Funny, funny book! I laughed out loud several times. It was a quick, easy read. Do not let the title scare you off! Karen is the woman behind Baby Sideburns, a successful blog about parenting. She offers an honest, humorous glance into parenting that makes you aware you are not alone in your thoughts, and feelings about the crazy things kids do.

It was refreshingly real and I heart it!
Miranda
Hilarious. I often found myself laughing out loud and reciting sections for my husband. A fun little book for parents with a sense of humour and a comfort with Alpert's sometimes horrifying honesty. One can tell that she adores her children despite her snarky sarcasm and hysterical ranting on all the less joyous moments of parenthood. We have all been there (I think).
This is another book I've read recently written by a popular blogger. I wonder how much of the material here was on her blog first
...more
Ericka
I laughed all the way through this book. I think the most fine-tuned part of motherhood is learning the ability to not call your babies a$$holes to their faces, especially when they are being the worst you've ever seen (and right now my 9 year takes the cake when "communicating" with his younger brother). The best part about this book is that it's written shorts so you can actually read it any time--not 2 hours after the kids bedtime with all the lights out and the covers over your head with a f ...more
Melinda Hammontree
It's a little bit crass, but I found her discussion of depression to be refreshingly frank. The overall message of the book, parenthood is hard so support each other, was also much appreciated.
Reaganstar
Karen is a hilarious mother sharing her stories of raising her children, being a wife and running a household. With in your face comedy of life. This book is sure to please those who have those moements from I just want to pee alone to.... I need a vacation from my life.

These stories are sure to make you laugh, and I mean laugh till you cry or pee your pants depending on the type of laugher you are. I am rereading this book outloud to my husband as both being parents we get a kick out of the sto
...more
Kate
I heart my little a-holes too. So much! Certainly could relate on several points.
L
While I can totally relate to 98% of the awkward,tragically funny parenting/baby senarios mentioned in this book, and while I laughed a lot as I shook my head in motherly solidarity I didn't enjoy this book as much as I had hoped. I don't get all bent out of shape when the occasional F bomb is dropped in conversation or in a book or movie, but it is a rare sentence in this book that does not include it. True, it is not always said but abbrieviated. Still I think there are some people out there g ...more
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“I love when those annoyingly perfect moms brag that they ONLY give their kids all-natural shit. You know what’s all-natural? Poisonous berries and ’shrooms.” 2 likes
“Sometimes I hear feminists call God a She, and I’m like, dude, I am all for equal rights and equal pay, but there is no F’ing way God is a woman with all the shit our bodies go through when we’re preggers. No woman would design us this way. Like sometimes I think if God has a wife, she’s probably like are you F’ing kidding me, G? WTH were you thinking? I mean, finally I have the rack I’ve always wanted but it doubles as a vending machine for this little poop machine (gesturing to Jesus).” 0 likes
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