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John Dies at the End (John Dies at the End, #1)
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John Dies at the End (John Dies at the End #1)

3.93 of 5 stars 3.93  ·  rating details  ·  28,886 ratings  ·  3,461 reviews
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's t...more
Paperback, 376 pages
Published August 15th 2007 by Permuted Press (first published 2007)
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Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. DickPride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-SmithSomething Wicked This Way Comes by Ray BradburyThe Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas AdamsI Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloane Crosley
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John Dies at the End by David WongDeath of a Salesman by Arthur MillerAnd Then There Were None by Agatha ChristieMuch Ado About Nothing by William ShakespeareMy Brother Sam Is Dead by James Lincoln Collier
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1st out of 82 books — 79 voters


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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Stephen
VERY HIP...
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VERY BIZARRO...
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VERY CREEPY...
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AND VERY, VERY (EVEN BRILLIANTLY) FUNNY...IN A CRUDE, JUVENILE WAY...

I read a lot... I read everyday and go through a number of books every week. Reading as much as I do, I get a real jolly on when I come across a book like this because it is so different from the usual fare. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the book, but the phrase that seems most apt is "brilliantly stupid"…with "surreal,” "incredibly funny" and "dude that’s gross" close behind....more
Callan
this is possibly the worst published book i have ever read. i'm sad to admit it was my ex-boyfriend's favorite book, so i read it to placate him. it took me all of about five minutes to get sick of the author's trite internet-meme-style wannabe-funny bullshit, which is sad because i believe he is the editor of cracked.com (where the writing, though sub-par at times, at least typically makes sense and is somewhat enjoyable to read). at first i thought i wasn't reading it closely enough to follow...more
Wil Wheaton
I really loved this book. I didn't know anything going into it, other than that it was weird, so that's all I'll give you.

I think it's worth your time.
Carol. [All cynic, all the time]
Put this book down and go read Wong's work at cracked.com, particularly his piece "6 Things Rich People Need to Stop Saying," a brilliant piece of humor, psychology and economics. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-things-...

Back to John Dies. Yes, like the book blurb says, in some ways it resembles The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy--it's that strange blend of humor that occurs partially because of stacking two incongruencies in a slice of bread and calling it a sandwich. The heroes are similar...more
Addie
This book is not for everyone but it is certainly for me.

We all know that I have the sense of humor of a twelve year-old boy. I can't help it. Just yesterday my manager was talking to my coworkers and I about her new job at Whole Foods, explaining what she would be doing (which is working behind the specialty cheese counter) and she spoke this little gem that slipped passed everyone's attention but mine: "...basically I'll be cutting the cheese all day." I slapped my hand to my mouth and trying...more
Traci
Have you ever played that game when one person starts a story and then another person takes it over, and then another, and then...until the story gets to where you can't even remember how it started?

John Dies at the End is a little bit like that game.

Now picture Howard Philip Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard playing this game around a campfire after a crazy party.

Now picture Howard Philip Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard smoking pot and drinking cheap booze as they play the game.

And then they are...more
Jason
5 Stars

This is a blast of a bizzaro piece of weird fiction. It is a blend of horror, new weird and psychological madness. David Wong is the name of the author, the name of the narrator, and the name of the main protagonist too (Not necessarily all the same!!!). This read is not for the faint of heart, nor is it intended for those that like things spelled out for them all nice and clear, and then drawn up with nothing but straight lines. The weirdness of this book can be challenging to read and t...more
colleen the contrarian  ± (... never stop fighting) ±
So... Um... Well, that was, erm, something all right...

So I suppose I should start off by saying it's not quite what I was expecting but, of course, the logical follow-up to that would be "well, what were you expecting?", and I'd have to say "I'm not really sure. But that wasn't it."

But I think one thing I was expecting was a different kind of humor. Maybe something more along the lines of A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore, or even 'Army of Darkness' with Bruce Campbell.

Not to say it didn't have...more
Ruby  Tombstone [Uncensored or Else]
**MILD SPOILERS IN THE FORM OF DIRECT QUOTES WHICH DON'T REALLY TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THE STORY**

5 REASONS THIS MAY BE THE BEST BOOK YOU'LL EVER READ

#5. It's Literally Lough-Out-Loud Funny
I know it's not generally cool to slag off other people's book reviews. It's their subjective opinion, they're entitled, freedom of speech, blahdy blahdy blah. But the number of GR reviews for this book which contain the words "juvenile humour" and then proceed to dismiss the book's worth on that basis is jus...more
Brenna
(WARNING: The following is not a well-balanced, conscientious review.)

John Dies at the End dies before it even reaches the first chapter.

The story - such as it is - revolves around the typical gross-out paranormal-type activity that made Kevin Smith's "Dogma" such a success (think "It's a shit monster!" and you've pretty much got the idea of what seems to have inspired this book). Within the first 20 pages, the reader is witness to blood, copious amounts of excrement, a flaccid - and gratuitous...more
Scott Woods
Simply put, I have never laughed harder at a horror book. This is less an attempt by "Wong" to write horror so much as it is for him to hone his humor chops on a genre that's been whipped to death by too much seriousness. It's appropriately gross, rolls out misadventure after misadventure, and ultimately satisfies on multiple levels. If you're into horror, you'll likely find it pretty smart. If you're into comedy, this on has great edge throughout. I don't know if I'd recommend it to anyone who...more
David "proud member of Branwen's adventuring party"
Don't let the spoilerish title fool you... John Dies At The End is full of surprises!

Life is full of millions of choices. And while some are instantly recognized as "life-choices" (like getting married or picking a career path), others are deceptively innocent. But even the smallest of choices can have huge consequences. That's the hard lesson David Wong learned when he decided to challenge a hack street-magician at a concert. Had Wong simply rolled his eyes and kept walking, his life may not h...more
Bryant
Jan 28, 2009 Bryant rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Fans of horror and science fiction who can handle lots of bathroom jokes.
Recommended to Bryant by: Chris Hall
There are few books that can cause me to laugh out loud in one paragraph, and later in the same chapter have me cringing in real fear or disgust. This book accomplished all of this and more.

John Dies at the End is not a literary masterpiece. Its plot has flaws. It needs some real face time with a legitimate editor - or at least someone likely to catch the numerous typos, misspellings and punctuation errors. The humor is abrupt and sophomoric.

But despite all that, this book is fun. It is thorough...more
Daniel
Jul 03, 2009 Daniel rated it 2 of 5 stars
Recommended to Daniel by: Brian
Shelves: 2009
"'...And, well, that's my story,' I said. 'I'm sorry that it's so, you know. Retarded.'" -- David Wong, "John Dies at the End"

"John Dies at the End," originally published on the Internet, then self-published in book form by David Wong, and apparently being republished in September by St. Martin's Press, is kind of like "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies," but with five fewer Bennet sisters and six dozen more dick jokes. While "John" predates "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" by several years, it l...more
David M
Amazing, David Wong has created a fantastic book for the open minded. After reading it I then went out and got the Audible version so I could listen to it again on the way to work. The characters were original and engrossing. The story is a unique breath of fresh air that will make you say "WTF?!?!?" consistently as the plot progresses. If your in to seamless progression then this book will not appeal to you. If jumps, twists and turns in the air. Just when you think you have a handle on where t...more
Sylvia
The last quarter of this book deserves 4 stars, the first three quarters deserve 2.

Firstly, the dialogue in this book (and sometimes the internal monologue) is very wry and generally hilarious. Easily its best quality, and kept me reading past the slow parts.

Unfortunately, the dialogue is often eclipsed by TONS of gruesome and gory visual descriptions, and though they are perfectly tolerable at first they do drag on after a while. After the 50th or 60th person whose entrails explode into a rain...more
Bridget
Aug 23, 2010 Bridget rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Smart people with a high tollerance for dick jokes
Recommended to Bridget by: The Internet
Shelves: favorites
Funny and greatly unsettling. It made me laugh out loud while reading it, but didn't scare me until I was trying to walk though my house in the dark later that night.

I can't think of a way to summarize the plot and do it any justice, so instead I will randomly list a few things that you will find in this story: A car is stolen by a man made of cockroaches; a conversation is had with a disembodied soul via a hot dog; people in an alternate dimension wear clothing made of raw meat; a room full of...more
Scott
A terrific freaktale of supernatural I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENS HERE,
although the title is one of the most honest in history and I'm not spoiling for you here: the title is what it is.
If you like HP Lovecraft but think he's a bit too uptight and cannot write worth a crap, this is for you. If you liked the X-Files, but think there's not enough sexual tension and dick jokes, this is for you.

Seriously fun fun fun read.
Mike (the Paladin)
I finished this book a couple of nights ago. As a side note I'm almost halfway through a book titled The Rook. Reading these books back to back, I've got to ask...am I the only person left in the world who doesn't use the great English "f" word (f**k) as a common part of my vocabulary?

Oh well...on to the review.

Over all I like this book and I think it's well written. I can partially agree with another reader who said that they "laughed out loud". On occasion I did to. I'll be giving a sort of "g...more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
If Harold and Kumar swapped some DNA with The Ghostbusters and were birthed by Hunter S. Thompson on a Hitchhiker's Guide through the galaxy, you might end up with something kind of close to John Dies at the End. I had ZERO expectations going in to this book. I knew nothing except what I read on the book jacket and the fact that Wil Wheaton didn't think it sucked. I ended up on a full throttle, high octane, wild, grotesque, hilarious, vulgar, long, strange journey and I'm so glad I did.
Kingstoncassidy Cassidy
It transcends its "Jay and Silent Bob versus Chuthulu" premise. It's scary, has some great scenes of body horror,and is really funny in places. But what I really came to love this book for is how it works to tie the weird horror from beyond time and space with the everyday horror of human cruelty. Lovecraft thought the old ones were scary because they were inhuman. With Wong, the old ones are scary because they are all too human.
Ross
This is not a great work of literature, but the humor integrated into the horror and sci-fi elements really worked for me. I'd say if you enjoyed the Evil Dead movies, or Big Trouble in Little China, you'd probably enjoy this book. Be forewarned, the sense of humor is pretty low-brow, but it fits the characters.
Pete
Feb 06, 2013 Pete rated it 4 of 5 stars
Shelves: have
It's midnight and I'm reading the Spanish translation of John Dies at the End, I only have 50 pages left but my eyes are starting to get heavy. The lead based mascara I sampled is taking its toll. Just when I think I have everything figured out it dawns on me that I can nether read nor speak Spanish. Furthermore, I got this book with some packets of soy sauce at the China Buffett and am wondering why they didn't give me Chinese translation. I was shopping with a Chihuahua but he always seemed mo...more
♥Xeni♥
So you know those books that get published as fiction because if they were produced as non-fiction no one would buy them / believe them? I sorta have a feeling that this is that type of book.

This has been the most fucked up, craziest, most interesting, too realistic and plain dead frightening book I have read in a long time. I'd rate it up there along with It, The Shining and Prey under scariness level. While we're comparing this book to others, though, I might as well throw out there that it's...more
Chris
There are really only so many things you can do with horror these days. I think we’ve all been somewhat desensitized by the ever-increasing variety and imaginativeness that has come with the horror genre in recent years, and so you know that sooner or later you’re going to find yourself yawning theatrically at someone being forced to devour their own brains with a spoon made from their still-living child’s hollowed-out sternum and say, “Seen it.”

As that moment approaches, the aspiring horror wri...more
Bradley
Terrible. Positively dreadful.

The entire time I read it, with its typos and its tiny font (which means the book is probably a good fifty pages longer than it actually is), unwieldy plot and more uses of the word "retarded" than a book actually ABOUT retarded people I had a hunch something was amiss. After finishing it, I find it out it was started as a web serial and was originally self-published. It makes perfect sense, because clearly no editor's eyes have ever been laid on this piece of shit...more
Marvin
I must getting older. My tolerance for shit jokes and frat-boy humor is a lot less that it was a few years ago. John Dies at the End has a lot of that kind of humor. It also has a nifty alternate universe plot with yucky creatures trying to take over the earth. I laughed a lot while reading this but the disorganized structure and the huge amount of typos in this self-publicized ebook got a bit on my nerves. It's a very funny, very creative, but ultimately unsuccessful debut novel.
Kristin
Ok, first things first: Don't read this if you dislike the three malevolent p's - piss, poo and penis humour. Because this book is crammed with it right up to the top.

...And, well, that's my story," I said. "I'm sorry that it's so, you know. Retarded.


You know, I really love some good ol' penis humour. But if that'd be the only thing great about this book, it probably would've gotten about three stars. Instead I'd like to award five stars, because it may be one of the best books I've read in quit...more
Brandon
After reading a particular great review on GoodReads, I had to get my hands on this ASAP. Several people I follow on this glorious website have been singing the praises of bizarro fiction over the past number of months and have stirred up some interest in me about exploring the genre.

John Dies at the End was my first bizzaro experience and now has me dying to devour more material. It was everything I thought this genre was supposed to be.. totally fucked up, thrilling and interesting characters...more
Jennie
Oct 08, 2007 Jennie rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Horror Fans & Friends
“There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that.”

I was expecting another solid entry from Permuted Press when I got my copy of John Dies at the End (JDatE) by David Wong, but I have to admit, I was not expecting this. I was blown away. This is one of the best books I have read in a while, let alone one of the best horror stories to make its way into print. (Yes, JDatE enjoyed a life on the Internet first.)

JDatE is unpredictable from the very...more
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David Wong is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, online humorist, National Lampoon contributor, and editor in chief of Cracked.com. He is the author of John Dies at the End.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/davidwong

Jason Pargin (born January 10, 1975), known by his pen name David Wong, is an American humor writer. He is the executive editor of humor website Cracked.com and has written two novels, John D...more
More about David Wong...
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“Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.” 209 likes
“And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that.” 166 likes
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