Forever Lily: An Unexpected Mother's Journey to Adoption in China
"Will you take her?" she asks.
When Beth Nonte Russell travels to China to help her friend Alex adopt a baby girl from an orphanage there, she thinks it will be an adventure, a chance to see the world. But her friend, who had prepared for the adoption for many months, panics soon after being presented with the frail baby, and the situation develops into one of the greate
...morePaperback, 216 pages
Published
March 6th 2007
by Touchstone
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Seriously, this book is TERRIBLE. What was the point of all that hocus-pocus dream stuff? I eventually got smart and started skipping those sections, but that still didn't improve the book much.
The underlying story is compelling: A woman accomanies her friend to China so the friend can adopt the baby. The friend changes her mind and the author decides to keep the baby. Adoption disruptions like this are unusual, but they do happen. The story of the various parties' emotional journey could have...more
The underlying story is compelling: A woman accomanies her friend to China so the friend can adopt the baby. The friend changes her mind and the author decides to keep the baby. Adoption disruptions like this are unusual, but they do happen. The story of the various parties' emotional journey could have...more
I understand why people don't love this book: the author is condescending to Chinese culture even while making claims that she is reincarnated from that country. She also veers too often into New Age fantasies about why she was called to adopt her daughter from China. That said, though, I still enjoyed this book. For one thing, how can you resist that cover? The story moves at a steady clip and has some touching moments. I learned things about China that I didn't know. The end was a little gloss...more
Overall, a fairly good book. The discussion of the adoption was interesting to me, however the mystic dream sequence that runs throughout the book was very distracting and a little over the top for my personal taste. I was also quite shocked with the whole premise of the book, that a potential adoptive parent could go through the entire international adoption process, only to refuse the child once she received her. I would have liked to have seen the author delve more into the issue of the initi...more
May 21, 2008
Jen
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
anyone interested in asian culture, adoption or motherhood
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
Jul 12, 2007
Roberta
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
anyone who is a mother, or has wanted to be one
This book was haunting. It's an incredible story of how this woman falls into a situation where she becomes the adoptive mother of a Chinese orphan. Although most of the book was fascinating, from her impressions of China, her descriptions of the oppression, the people, the tension in the whole adoption process, there are parts where she writes of her dreams that were a little hokey to me and I could have done without. Sort of a past life connection thing she's trying to convey, which is hard to...more
Forever Lily is the story of a woman who travels to China to support a friend in the final stages of adoption. However, when her friend, Alex, receives her baby, the situation begins to unravel quickly. Alex panics and doesn't think she can handle a baby that clearly has some development delays due to the harsh environment of the orphanage where the baby spent its' first months of life. Uncertainty and an instant bond with the child make for many emotionally charged days for the author.
The story...more
The story...more
This was a...strange book. It's listed as memoir. Features mainly three characters, the author/narrator, her friend Alex, and anonymous Baby. The premise is excellent, but would have been helped by a good thorough editing.
The author is asked to go to China to pick up an adopted baby by her friend Alex. When they get there, Alex flips out and decides she doesn't really want this baby - for some reason some mix up about the age (by a few months) throws her off. Slowly, it rolls out that apparentl...more
The author is asked to go to China to pick up an adopted baby by her friend Alex. When they get there, Alex flips out and decides she doesn't really want this baby - for some reason some mix up about the age (by a few months) throws her off. Slowly, it rolls out that apparentl...more
When Beth Nonte Russell was asked to accompany a friend to pick up the baby girl she was adopting from China, she expected it to be an adventure. An avid traveler, Russell had never been to China, and she welcomed this chance to help a friend while discovering a new country.
But when the friend is presented with a frail baby who seems developmentally far behind her age, she balks at going through with the adoption. Russell finds herself responding in a way that will change her life forever: she a...more
But when the friend is presented with a frail baby who seems developmentally far behind her age, she balks at going through with the adoption. Russell finds herself responding in a way that will change her life forever: she a...more
beautiful story.
a couple of tissues and lots of smiles.
Russell was asked by a friend, Alex, to accompany her to China to help her pick up the baby she and her husband were adopting. While parents usually make the trip together, Alex's husband had to stay home to care for another child. Russell didn't know Alex all that well, but agreed to go anyway. In this offbeat memoir, Russell describes the trip. It wasn't long into it before she noticed signs of Alex's ambivalence— she'd brought no camera t...more
a couple of tissues and lots of smiles.
Russell was asked by a friend, Alex, to accompany her to China to help her pick up the baby she and her husband were adopting. While parents usually make the trip together, Alex's husband had to stay home to care for another child. Russell didn't know Alex all that well, but agreed to go anyway. In this offbeat memoir, Russell describes the trip. It wasn't long into it before she noticed signs of Alex's ambivalence— she'd brought no camera t...more
Argh, this book. I wanted to read it SO badly, it sounded so amazing. Too bad the author is totally high on herself and a bit crazy, too. I was irritated right off the bat with her new-agey dream sequences, and then the way she talked about herself being so in tune with herself and searching for something by travelling. Gag. Get over yourself already. Though admittedly, I'm not into that whole meditation/new-age/in-tune with my body, soul, etc stuff.
I wish GoodReads allowed you go give half-star ratings, because I really think this is a 3 1/2 star, not quite four book, but I'm bumping up to be magnanimous. Or something.
This is a strange little memoir about a woman who goes to China to accompany her friend, who is adopting a baby there. The friend doesn't bond with the baby, and through some legal manuevering, the author becomes the adoptive mother instead. The tale of the trip is interspersed with the author's dreams/past-life memories of h...more
This is a strange little memoir about a woman who goes to China to accompany her friend, who is adopting a baby there. The friend doesn't bond with the baby, and through some legal manuevering, the author becomes the adoptive mother instead. The tale of the trip is interspersed with the author's dreams/past-life memories of h...more
I really hated this book, not that it was poorly written but I felt that the author was arrogant and it is not representative of the majority of international adoption. THere is also a depreesive condition that can occur during adoption and I think the author may have taken advantage of the other adoptive mother.
The title, the description on the back, and especially the charming picture on the cover got me to pick up this book. Beth Nonte Russell tells an emotionally involving story of how she travels to China with a casual friend who is adopting a baby girl. Upon arrival, the friend "Alex" has second thoughts and undergoes a sort of nervous breakdown, leaving Russell as the primary caretaker of the baby during the journey. The baby and Russell bond, which leads in the end to the adoption of Lily into t...more
Alex and her husband are in the final stages of adopting a child from China. Alex asks her friend Beth to accompany her on the trip to China. Beth is hesitant at first. Why wouldn't Alex want her own husband to go with her?
After thinking it over, Beth decides to go along figuring it would be quite an adventure and something to add to her travel journal. What she does not anticipate, is the strong emotional bond she feels when she sees the child for the first time.
My reading of this novel could n...more
After thinking it over, Beth decides to go along figuring it would be quite an adventure and something to add to her travel journal. What she does not anticipate, is the strong emotional bond she feels when she sees the child for the first time.
My reading of this novel could n...more
I picked this book up on a whim during a used book sale at my library a year ago. I think I liked the cover. It wasn't until I turned it over yesterday morning that I even realized it was a true story and, truth be told, not the kind of thing I would ever read. But, I decided to give it a try. It took me less than 24 hours to whip through it. "Forever Lily" is an absolutely captivating, heart-wrenching and transformative read. Above all else, it's HOPEFUL. The bond described in this book is a bo...more
Forever Lily was a really great really quick read... i think it took me all of two days to get through. the story follows the author's journey to china and how she came to adopt her daughter, lily. although i didn't find her writing style to be anything exceptional, i was still completely engrossed in the story and found it impossible to put down- i probably would have finished it the first night, if i didn't have to get up in the morning.
i'm only giving the book 3 stars because of the author's...more
i'm only giving the book 3 stars because of the author's...more
UGH. What isn't offensive about this book? Not much, I'll tell you that. I started reading it with a pen in hand, as I generally do when I read, to mark passages and take notes; I was only about three pages in before I realized that if I kept up the marking, I'd be circling and underlining pretty much the entire book. I'll start off with the author's attitude toward transracial and intercountry adoption: she's basically a white liberal who believes she can be Chinese (as she claims at the very e...more
Tip: DON'T READ THE BACK OF THIS BOOK BEFORE READING!
My husband gave me that advice and I'm so glad I listened. I think the publisher was worried about attracting readers and gave away one of the most compelling parts of this true story.
Russell is a quasi-Buddhist and her experiences in China were quirky to say the least. She ended up seeing some really revealing things that normally tourists don't get to experience in the People's Republic of China.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and really pr...more
My husband gave me that advice and I'm so glad I listened. I think the publisher was worried about attracting readers and gave away one of the most compelling parts of this true story.
Russell is a quasi-Buddhist and her experiences in China were quirky to say the least. She ended up seeing some really revealing things that normally tourists don't get to experience in the People's Republic of China.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and really pr...more
I skipped over pretty much all of the dream sequences (sorry, Beth). Based on many of the other reviews here, this probably made it a much better book.
I read mostly out of curiosity over the legal logistics of someone other than the pre-approved adoptive parent completing an international adoption. This wasn't the author's main interest, so she didn't go into that much detail about the process, but related enough to satisfy my wondering.
My favorite part was Beth's husband's initial reaction to...more
I read mostly out of curiosity over the legal logistics of someone other than the pre-approved adoptive parent completing an international adoption. This wasn't the author's main interest, so she didn't go into that much detail about the process, but related enough to satisfy my wondering.
My favorite part was Beth's husband's initial reaction to...more
I don't give many books 2 stars. Especially one I picked myself, especially one about international adoption, especially one set in China! I really wanted to like this book. And, as a matter of fact, I enjoyed reading it. But...
Maybe it is because the author wasn't prepared to adopt, it just happened. She was very disrespectful to the country of China & it's culture. And to adoption! To make it worse, she was trying to be "aware" and balanced. This is the country that gave you your adoring c...more
Maybe it is because the author wasn't prepared to adopt, it just happened. She was very disrespectful to the country of China & it's culture. And to adoption! To make it worse, she was trying to be "aware" and balanced. This is the country that gave you your adoring c...more
The story is beautiful, the prose is beautiful - if a bit choppy - and most of the quirks of the text are explained in the addendum. Unfortunately I was put off by the personality of the author, though clearly loving to Lily she comes off (to me) as judgmental and dominating. However her style I appreciated much more than that of The Waiting Child.
Had hoped for better from this book. It is definitely not representative of any attitudes I've encountered in international adoption--the near divorce friend abandoning the adoption while in CHina, and the general "savior" attitude the author appears to hold.
The author also seemed to need some past-life connection to the child she ended up adopting, hence the dreams she started experiencing while in China. These sequences were almost painful to read they were so cliche--of course she's connecte...more
The author also seemed to need some past-life connection to the child she ended up adopting, hence the dreams she started experiencing while in China. These sequences were almost painful to read they were so cliche--of course she's connecte...more
Hated this book. The author is a nutcase and her dream sequences in which she decides she was a Chinese woman in a previous life are ridiculous, especially considering the author clearly hates China and seems to think that the point of adoption is to "save" these kids from their horrible fates.
I was more interested in the friend's really bizarre and erratic behavior backing out of an adoption at the last minute. That was interesting. The new-age past life condescending Chinese crap, not so much...more
I was more interested in the friend's really bizarre and erratic behavior backing out of an adoption at the last minute. That was interesting. The new-age past life condescending Chinese crap, not so much...more
Beth is traveling with her friend, Alex, to China in hopes of assisting Alex with her adoption of a baby girl. But from the beginning Alex is withdrawn and uncertain, finally realizing that she cannot bring herself to accept the child after all. Beth, who has bonded with the baby, agrees to take her and begins her own spiritual and emotional journey to make it a reality.
The author points out that adoption need not be just a conscious decision but a spiritual one as well, and that sometimes the...more
The author points out that adoption need not be just a conscious decision but a spiritual one as well, and that sometimes the...more
What I read of this (the first 30 pages, the last section, and the epilogue) read like awful Mary-Sue style original fiction. First-person point-of-view, present tense, interspersed dream segments from a prior life (?) had me setting this down pretty quickly.
Mostly I can't believe how self-serving the author is. The 'dreams' she has of a (badly-researched) woman from ancient China are ridiculous, her efforts to analyze them and relate them to the events in her life are almost hysterical in their...more
Mostly I can't believe how self-serving the author is. The 'dreams' she has of a (badly-researched) woman from ancient China are ridiculous, her efforts to analyze them and relate them to the events in her life are almost hysterical in their...more
The story tells of Beth's journey to China with her friend Alex, who has decided to adopt a little Chinese daughter and bring her home to America. However, upon receiving the child, Alex decides the whole thing is a huge mistake and that she doesn't want the baby any more. Beth has a series of dreams and visions (which were a bit beyond the pale in my view) and realizes that she must bring the baby home to raise her because they were separated in a past life.
Ok, putting aside the craziness of th...more
Ok, putting aside the craziness of th...more
Interesting true story about a woman who ended up adopting a baby her friend decided she didn't want (she accompanied the friend to China). A bit too much focus on a reincarnation theme and weird dream sequence for my taste though (she has some strange Buddhist/new age beliefs) . It left me wanting more of what happened to make it possible for her to adopt the baby. Not the best adoption story I've read.
A great story of exactly what the title says a "mother's journey to adoption in china". There was a lot of spiritual aspects of the book (dream analysis etc.) but the dream was like another story within the book so it wasn't too bad. That stuff usually annoys me. It was interesting reading this after having been to China. I could relate to her awe when arriving in this country for the first time.
this review probably isn't quite fair because i didn't read anything that was italicized, which would be the entire sub-plot about her dreams, and about 1/4 of this book. i was more interested in her strange experience accompanying her friend to china to complete an adoption. the friend's behavior is insanely baffling but it helps paint a picture that prospective adoptive parents should possibly see.
What an emotional roller coaster about adoption. A young woman accompanies her friend to China, where her friend is going to adopt a baby girl. Once there, the friend has a panic attack and changes her mind. What happens to the poor baby girl- does she get grow up in a better place, or will she be sent back to the crowded terrible orphanage? Who will her mother be? I couldn't put this one down.
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