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Room for Two

by Abel Keogh (Goodreads Author)

4.05 of 5 stars 4.05 · rating details · 80 ratings · 27 reviews

"Sweetie, I'm home." I tried to put as much kindness into my voice as possible. I didn't want to have another argument - at least not right away. Silence. "Sweetheart?" A gunshot echoed from our bedroom, followed by the sound of a bullet casing skipping along a wall. Everything slowed down.

When a life is destroyed, when guilt says you played a role in its destruction,

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Paperback, 216 pages

Published August 1st 2007 by Cedar Fort

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May 09, 2011 Roseanne Wilkins rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Abel Keogh's book, The Third, was on LDS Publisher Blogspot. After I read the first chapter link on his website, I looked him up on Barnes & Noble. I was definitely interested in reading The Third, and I was intrigued by this book. I don't normally read books about other people's tragedies. It's too much like stepping in and staring at their misery. However, I have a son who struggles with depression. I was hopeful that Abel's book could give me some insight. This book reads like a well-writ...more

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Feb 13, 2008 Jennifer rated it 2 of 5 stars

I had suggested this book for my book club - I'm so glad everyone vetoed it. This book is a true story about a man whose wife commits suicide and how he recovers from it. My book club didn't want to read such a seemingly depressing book, but I gave it a chance. The story was okay, but the writing was awful. Laughably bad in some parts.

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Aug 03, 2008 Cheryl rated it 5 of 5 stars

Many years ago Abel Keogh's wife, Krista took her life as well as the life of their daughter's Hope. Abel was only twenty-six years old when this sad situation took place. While everyone around Abel was trying to figure out why Krista did it, Abel was grieving his wife and precious daughter. Three months later Abel discovered he didn't want to he alone anymore. He was ready to start dating again. Abel had reservations as it seemed too soon. Abel went out on a few dates with a couple different wo...more

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Aug 03, 2008 Joyce rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Joyce by: Candace Salima

Shelves: non-fiction

Please take this, not as a criticism, but as a mere comment about this book: If you are a “sensitive” reader, you might find the first three chapters of **Room for Two** a bit disturbing. Admittedly, I did myself (because I’m a “sensitive reader”).

That is by no means to say that there is not much of great value in Abel Keogh’s retelling of his journey to understand the reasons for his wife’s suicide, his struggles to forgive both her and himself for opportunities missed, and his difficult journ...more Please take this, not as a criticism, but as a mere comment about this book: If you are a “sensitive” reader, you might find the first three chapters of **Room for Two** a bit disturbing. Admittedly, I did myself (because I’m a “sensitive reader”).

That is by no means to say that there is not much of great value in Abel Keogh’s retelling of his journey to understand the reasons for his wife’s suicide, his struggles to forgive both her and himself for opportunities missed, and his difficult journey to find healing, peace and eventually, new love.

Because Keogh chooses to tell his story almost in novel fashion, rather than narrative, it is sometimes easy to forget that one is reading a “true story” and not a work of fiction. Swept along by the story, I frequently had to pause and remind myself that the experiences “Abel” was going through had happened to an actual, living, breathing person, and not to a character of fiction. The reminder is important, because that realization gives the book a whole different impact. In fact, the very incidents that disturbed me in the first three chapters, disturbed me **because** I knew they were “real” as opposed to “fictional”. A certain level of detachment usually comes with reading fiction. With that detachment stripped away, much of the opening became much more difficult for me, personally, to read.

Another difference: novels often tend to try to tie up difficult questions with easy answers. “Real life” is much more messy, and sometimes, there are questions that, quite simply, can never be answered. Keogh ultimately faces the “unanswerable” with honesty and faith.

This book should give readers new insights into an often overlooked segment of society. Divorces are so common, we are often quick to empathize with one side or the other. But a young widower of twenty-six? Keogh addresses the subject of awkward, well-meaning friends and family members seeking to help him “move on”, or perhaps worse, in all too many cases to “hold back”. He also faces the challenge of a potential new love who finds herself struggling to overcome the “ghost” of the woman he lost, not by choice (as too often happens in a divorce), but by an unexpected death. A woman he was still deeply in love with when the tragedy happened.

Eventually, Keogh learns how to make “room for two” in his heart, and puts at rest his new love’s fears.

The struggles he goes through should open all our eyes to anyone working their way through a similar experience, and make us more compassionate, less judgmental, and more understanding of how we can be supportive (rather than awkward) towards someone facing this kind of suffering.

In the end, however, **Room for Two** is not about suffering, but about hope. I recommend this book for the new insights you will gain while reading it. But if you’re a “sensitive reader”, you might want to gloss through the first three chapters, and dive in around Chapter 4.
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Jun 29, 2008 Candace Salima rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: to everyone.

Recommended to Candace by: I picked it up at a writers conference after hearing the author

I first learned about Room for Two by Abel Keogh at the CFI Writers Conference at the beginning of June. Abel spoke on internet marketing, which I have a special fondness for, so I paid attention. When he told his story I was inexplicably touched by his positive attitude after such a monstrous tragedy in his life.

When a break came around I went and picked up his book and read the back. It was something I was interested in reading so I opened the first page to see if I liked his writing style.

I b...more I first learned about Room for Two by Abel Keogh at the CFI Writers Conference at the beginning of June. Abel spoke on internet marketing, which I have a special fondness for, so I paid attention. When he told his story I was inexplicably touched by his positive attitude after such a monstrous tragedy in his life.

When a break came around I went and picked up his book and read the back. It was something I was interested in reading so I opened the first page to see if I liked his writing style.

I bought the book right away. Clearly, I liked his style of writing.

From his book we read:

Sweetie, I'm home." I tried to put as much kindness into my voice as possible. I didn't want to have another argument - at least not right away.

Silence.

"Sweetheart?"

A gunshot echoed from our bedroom, followed by the sound of a bullet casing skipping along a wall.

Everything slowed down.

And so begins the story of a man whose pregnant wife shoots herself upon his return home from work. It is a tragic and yet uplifting book.

I grabbed the following from Abel's website:

When a life is destroyed, when guilt says you played a role in its destruction, how do you face the days ahead?

Twenty-six-year-old Abel Keogh chooses to ignore the promptings he receives concerning his wife's mental illness, and now he feels he is to blame for her choices. If only he had listened . . .

At some point in our lives, each of us face devastating afflictions and must eventually cope with loss. Regardless of how it happens, the outcome is still the same - we are left isolated, alone, wondering what we could have done differently, and where we can turn for peace.

This is Abel's story in his own words. His search for peace and the miracle that follows is proof that love and hope can endure, despite the struggles and tragedies that shape each of our lives.

Radio talk show host, Abel Keogh takes us through the mental, emotional and spiritual anguish of being the one left behind, struggling to live, date and love again. He has great skill for the written word and drawing the reader into the anguish that was his life eight years ago.

I couldn't put it down. And in the end, it was a very uplifting story, although I had to have a box of Kleenexes by my side. This is, without question, a must buy. You may purchase the book by clicking Room for Two.(less)

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Nov 19, 2007 Irishcoda rated it 5 of 5 stars

Just a little background first: I've been reading Abel's blog online since he was on diary-x. I bookmarked it because we had one thing in common I knew of right away: we were both widowed and then had remarried. Even though there are differences in the ways we lost our spouses many of the feelings we had in the aftermath were very similar. Abel subsequently moved to another website and called that blog Running Forward which I think is a very apt name. Over the years Abel and his second wife have...more Just a little background first: I've been reading Abel's blog online since he was on diary-x. I bookmarked it because we had one thing in common I knew of right away: we were both widowed and then had remarried. Even though there are differences in the ways we lost our spouses many of the feelings we had in the aftermath were very similar. Abel subsequently moved to another website and called that blog Running Forward which I think is a very apt name. Over the years Abel and his second wife have had 3 children and I was thrilled at the news of each birth. Yes, there is love after the death of a loved one. It can happen. I was also thrilled when Abel announced his book was being published and was eager to read it.

Room For Two was hard for me and it's not because there was anything wrong with Abel's writing style. It's a painful story and I was shocked at how many of my own feelings came back to the surface, particularly guilt that I hadn't been able to do more to save Rich. Now, I think that is universal with widowed folks. In Abel's case, he had some premonitions of danger but felt he didn't act enough on them and when he entered his apartment, he heard the gun go off. His first wife had killed herself.

Abel did all the right things. He called 911. He was also in a state of shock. When my son and I found my first husband, Rich, on the floor he was already gone but I also went into shock. I remember calling 911, trying to keep the children from their father's body and leaping around like a frightened deer scooping up Rich's medications to take to the hospital. And even though I was stunned, I was still beginning to berate myself for not insisting we go to the emergency room the night before. Well, that's another story not related to the book but the fact I'm rambling about it is just testament to the fact that reading Abel's book brought back all those memories and feelings.

After Rich died, I belonged to an online community called Widownet. There were other widowed spouses whose loved ones had committed suicide. There's a stigma associated with suicide and that was an issue that everyone could try to understand but unless you've been through it you can't really "get" the shame of saying that your spouse killed him/herself. And so there was a separate sub-board called SOS (Spouses of Suicides, I think).

Abel mentions the isolation of being widowed. Yes, he is right. Ministers of churches I talked to said "oh, yes, the widowed--that's a group of people with needs we need to address" but had just never gotten around to it. Luckily the Catholic church has a good bereavement program and that's where I met other widow/ers. My friends and relatives were all single or married and I was totally uncomfortable with married couples after Rich died. I felt like a third or fifth wheel.

Another issue Abel addressed was dating. Only the widowed person knows when is the right time and yet everyone wants to tell you what's right for you. Abel's family was shocked when he began to date after his first wife died. I think it was about six months after but it doesn't matter. I felt "skin hunger" and a deep loneliness for the sound of a man's voice and the touch of his fingers and that wasn't disloyal to Rich. When TB and I met online and then began dating, members of both of our families said, "But didn't you love ....?"

Yes we did. But our loved ones were gone, away from us forever and somehow you have to go on or dry up and die.

Anyway, Abel's written a excellent book, one that is helpful to understanding the thoughts and feelings of being widowed. I can't do justice to it because it hits me too close to home. It's definitely something everyone could read--and there is a happy, hopeful ending. You can lose your love but still find love again before your own life is over.(less)

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Sep 06, 2012 Ida Cortes rated it 3 of 5 stars

I bought this book in hopes of some insight to marrying my husband who had been previously widowed. While I feel for Abel's situation, there was no real insight as to the complexities of marrying a widower. And absolutely no similarities to my husband - largely because Abel's wife died unexpectedly and my husband's first wife battled cancer for several years. The dynamic was completely different. Still, I would have hoped for more revelations from Able and his second wife.

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Jul 10, 2011 Jon Cox rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, philosophy-religion, romance

The first chapter of this book is extremely hard to read, especially knowing it is true, and that anyone, especially a friend went through this experience. Keogh does a good job of mixing dialogue and description. His writing is well paced and the issues he raises are fascinating. In the end, he helps the reader come to the same peace that he has reached, and move on from such a tragedy in a short amount of time.

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Jun 29, 2011 Julie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: made-me-cry, non-fiction

Once I picked up this book it was hard to put down.
A loved one's death is emotionally devastating and heart wrenching. When a loved one commits suicide, your reaction is more complicated and can trigger intense emotion. And on top of that, losing your newborn daughter. I was wishing I was there to just hug him.
Abel takes you through a large portion of that grief. The strong physical and emotional exhaustion and in time the carefulness in protecting his own well-being. I'm glad Abel found Juli...more

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Apr 19, 2011 Amber Childs rated it 4 of 5 stars

Being in a relationship with a man who has lost his wife I was compelled to read this book. I read it a few years ago...went into surgery to have my gallbladder removed and read the book in just a few hours while i was waiting for surgery... did not want to put it down!

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Mar 10, 2010 Alissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

Because this book is a true story about a man who loses his pregnant wife to suicide, his journey through his grief, and his way back to normalcy, it's not a book that I would normally pick up. A friend of mine lent it to me and I thought I would have to make myself pick it up and read it each day to finish it. I was surprised by how compelling of a read it was. It was insightful on a subject that I haven't given much thought to.

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Jul 15, 2008 Shirley rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anyone who's ever lost someone they love

Recommended to Shirley by: Writing Conference

This book captivated me from the first page. As it went along, the pace slowed a little, and there was some repeated internal dialog. Yet I learned things from this book that I don't know how I could have learned any other way. It is an honest look at feelings and ways of dealing with nearly unimaginable grief and loss. One of my family members committed suicide, and I felt guilty because he didn't know how much I loved him, or else he wouldn't have done it. He couldn't have. Yet it wasn't my fa...more

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Dec 30, 2009 Lisacjackson rated it 5 of 5 stars

Since I know the author personally, this book for me was full of excruciating emotional pain from the sympathy I felt for my dear friends. It was well written, gripping and can't-put-it-down (because I wanted to get to the happy ending). It did (phew) have happiness in it along with the sadness. I liked the happy parts a lot. I am so glad Abel and (well, I'd best not put in a spoiler here) "M.G." found happiness in each other!

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May 16, 2012 Charlynn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Ever since I went to his workshop I have wanted to read this book. Abel Keogh's memoir is fascinating, with some good life lessons. But the book isn't preachy, and it kept me interested the whole time.

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Aug 19, 2011 Suzana rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this book but had to keep reminding myself that it was not a work of fiction. This is a true story which was so heartbreaking at times but worth the read.

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Jan 29, 2011 Becky rated it 4 of 5 stars

Because I know the author and his wife...this story is especially poignant. I admire the courage it took for Abel to write this story. His choice to go forward with the support of his wife is inspirational. We really never know the heartache others suffer. Writing this book is such a help to those who deal with the heartbreak of suicide.

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Sep 15, 2009 Micah rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jul 05, 2009 Diony George rated it 5 of 5 stars

I was very moved by Abel's story, great writing!

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Jan 03, 2011 Marilyn Howard rated it 5 of 5 stars

I loved the honesty!

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Mar 20, 2008 Shelley rated it 3 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Aug 28, 2011 Sharon rated it 5 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this book, I read at a slow pace not because of the book it was wonderful. The book had sadness and you can fill his grieve but also Abel's ability to follow the prompting of the Lord to guide him to Julianna. I true test to his faith. While he states Hope is his child he will never raise, he will be given the opportunity after the second coming and will be with her in eternity.

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Feb 09, 2013 Tyler rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-i-recommend-to-anyone, memoir

This is an honest, heartfelt memoir about a real, imperfect man facing a real-life tragedy when his pregnant wife commits suicide. The narrative is straightforward in telling how he feels and copes with his grief and the process of learning how to make peace with the past and move into the future. I found it very touching.

8/10

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Apr 23, 2008 Tracy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Wow. I actually had to opportunity to meet the author. After reading this book there were so many things that I learned about love, about human suffering, and about learning to live with what is given to you. So many things in this life are thrown upon us and we learn who we are by how we react to them.

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Apr 30, 2008 Doug rated it 5 of 5 stars

I didn't know if I would like this book when I picked it up, but I LOVED IT. Abel knows how to write, and his writing style kept me up all night reading the book. I can't wait for his next book to come out. I will be first in line.

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Jun 25, 2008 Rebecca Blackson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographies

Oh tragic to read, but with a lot of healing, too. I thought it was really honest, and I am amazed that the human spirit is resilient enough to go through such a tragedy and find love again.

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Nov 19, 2008 Allison rated it 3 of 5 stars

While there wasn't anything particularly spectacular about this book, I did enjoy it, and I gained some insight from it about dealing with suicide within the family.

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Jul 22, 2008 Mike rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: top-shelf

My review and Author interview can be found at http://mindofmurph.blogspot.com/2008/...

Thanks!

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Apr 03, 2013 Emily marked it as to-read

Mar 14, 2013 Keri rated it 5 of 5 stars

Feb 25, 2013 Kat rated it 4 of 5 stars

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About Abel Keogh

Abel is the author of the novel The Third, the memoir Room for Two, and the relationship guides Dating a Widower: Starting a Relationship with a Man Who's Starting Over and Marrying a Widower: What You Need to Know Before Tying the Knot.

During the day, Abel works in corporate marketing for a technology company. His main responsibilities include making computers and software sound super sexy, codin...more

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Books by Abel Keogh

Dating a Widower: Starting a Relationship with a Man Who's Starting Over

Marrying a Widower: What You Need to Know Before Tying the Knot

Life with a Widower: Overcoming Unique Challenges and Creating a Fulfilling Relationship

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